Disclaimer: I do not own anything... not even this story... sad huh? This is a translation attempt of my favorite Chinese ShizNat fanfic. Details of the original work and author are included at the end of this chapter.

Summary: Story takes place after the carnival. Natsuki finally took the next step. Things couldn't have been better ... however, will it last? ShizNat.

Equilibrium

Chapter 4 - Found

Authored by Firerei

Translated by glowie

Leaning forward on the railings of the jutted ledge, she allows the howling sea winds free access to hear face and hair. The contents of her letter still fresh in her mind, Shizuru looks out sadly into the vast ocean.

Is it fair for me to be happy? Just me being happy? Me, the one who destroyed countless lives. I mercilessly rob them of their happiness and in turn, gave them despair and suffering.

Life with you is a total bliss. But is this really fair? Is this really alright? Is it right for me to have such happiness?

How could I bask in our happiness when I, with my own two hands, had so mercilessly denied others of theirs?

Equilibrium... Yes indeed.

Just what kind of a person am I, Natsuki? Do you really know me?

No... We could never have happiness. Our fates as HiMEs have long decided that for us.

Natsuki, I know you far too well for I have set my eyes on your from the beginning and they have never left. You are a smart girl yet... you've never tried to lie to me. You are always honest with me.

The cruel truth is, without you, I will surely die. Whereas without me... you can still have a fulfilling life. I know this because I see your kindness and understood your strength. Even so, I am still happy and content because I had you in my life.

I am not one to believe in reincarnation but now I held onto this hope like a fervent believer. If the afterlife exists, will I see you again?

Can we meet again? Natsuki?

Can you promise me to meet again?

The brown haired beauty solemnly looks out into the sea from the cliff, her hair flying wildly in the howling wind.

Standing on the ledge, she slowly step forward... edging herself through the parting... placing herself between the railing and the edge.

She took another step.

Promise me? Natsuki?

"I promise but it's NOT in the afterlife!" a low almost growling voice hissed.

Startled from her daze, Shizuru found herself hovering over the edge; a pair of strong familiar arms encircled her waist from behind, holding her in place.

"Shizuru! Do you want to give me a heart attack?!!" panting heavily, a flustered Natsuki reprimanded the brown haired girl. Relieved, the raven haired girl released her long abated breath. Thankful to the gods above that she managed to arrive in nick of time.

Shizuru felt something warm and sticky dripping unto her cheek.

"Natsuki! You're bleeding!?" Shizuru panicked.

"Well... the situation was a bit intense just now. I didn't have enough time to break my bike properly, so I jumped." explained Natsuki.

Pulling Shizuru back up unto the ledge, Natsuki embrace her tightly from behind before leaning weakly against Shizuru's back. As soon as the adrenalin rush left her, the raven haired beauty finally relented to her battered body's protest and collapsed.

"Please hold on Natsuki, I'll... I'll call for an ambulance immediately." Shizuru spoke more for her own assurance than her raven haired beauty. She carefully sat the younger girl into a comfortable position. Taking care not to aggravate the younger girl's wounds, the Kyoto beauty rest her lover's head upon her chest and held her softly.

Shizuru, I know I am dense but I am not stupid... I...

Mai said, everything that exists needs to find its point of balance.

Equilibrium...

Even as you are standing on one end of the scale, know that I am standing on the other. Our world would lose its balance if it loses either one of us.

If you feel that those people who died are more important than me, then jump...

"You know that isn't true..."

My dear Shizuru, we need each other to maintain our equilibrium. You and I... I could not have survived in an unbalance world... a world without you.

People who are dead lose not only their lives but their possibilities. Possibilities to bring happiness or suffering...

The sole reason why a person is precious is because he or she is alive.

By being alive, one always has the power of possibilities. To make a difference...

If you can save those who died by dying, I will not stop you.

"Erm... make that 'should' not stop you." Natsuki shyly corrected herself before smiling warmly.

At that very moment, Shizuru saw her light... that warm smile belonging to her Natsuki... and of her possibilities.

Shizuru realized that day, Natsuki will always be the light whenever she is lost in her darkness. No matter how deep the pain or dark the despair, Natsuki's innocence and kindness will guide her...

Always...

Being alive is a good thing. A very good thing... Being the one alive also means we have the responsibility to live for those who are not. From there, we can try to rebuild... to restore... to complete... to repay...

"But if we are dead... we can do nothing... nothing at all." The thick low voice of the raven haired girl whispered.

"Truly... nothing at all." Shizuru agreed while she gently caresses the cheek of her raven haired beauty, wiping away dew drops of tears.

Madness... fears... pain... happiness. She could feel all these feelings because she is alive. Because she is alive, she can feel Natsuki's love...

Tears, long held tears, started flowing, bursting forth from amber eyes. Touched, moved by the sheer simplicity and truthfulness of their love. Touched, moved... for she is founded by and she in turn.found her soul mate.

She can feel it... all these feelings...

because she is alive...

A year later... Natsuki's apartment...

"Ok... hand over the mayo now..."

"No, not today."

"What? How can you do this to me? Remember the time I save you from that cliff? My bike was crashed beyond repair for you!"

"Natsuki! Digging the past up with me now? Ahh... you hurt me so."

"But... But I must have it today! I... I will surely die if I didn't"

"Don't you dare use that word lightly!"

"Ara, if you really want to have your mayo..." teased the brown haired woman while she squeezed the white substance unto her fingers...

"Ehhh !!!???" A crimson red Natsuki stammered.

"SHIZURU!!!!!"

Because we are alive...

We can confidently say. "It is good to be alive."

- The End

Notes: -emerges from her heavily fortified bunker- Yes! it is finally finished... well not really... THERE is still an epilogue. :P

If you believed that I would leave you people hanging on the last chapter over the weekend... I apologize... heheheh... was feeling brave. -grin-

(k... someone please... have mercy! I need my asterisks!!! Teach me!!!)

Thank you all for your support and feedback. Again, corrections are greatly welcomed. If you ran out of tomatoes... I'll accept any other form of vegetables or fruits.

As usual, Firerei's blog can be found at http://axonxrei.blog97 dot fc2 dot com

Once the epilogue is up, I'll be placing proper names for the chapters as suggested by Firerei.