Chapter 19: I'm Ready
I sighed, trying hard not to look at Roxas. We were just catching up to Kazuki and I couldn't have been smiling any bigger if Roxas had just said... Kazuki smiled at me but kind of gave Roxas... a look. I knew exactly what it meant, too. I hit him lightly in the stomach with the back of my hand and frowned at him. He shrugged, playing innocent. I smiled at Roxas, so that he wouldn't think it was anything too serious, after all, he could hold my hand if he wanted.
"Namine..." He started. "What do you want for Christmas?"
"We haven't even drawn names yet. What makes you think you'll get me?"
He shrugged. "Maybe I don't think I'll get you. But, come on, it's Christmas. I can't not get my girlfriend a present." Kazuki smiled, revoking his, hand-holding look. Hearing Roxas call me his girlfriend made me all warm inside.
"Well um... I don't really know what I want. I mean, the Christmas party isn't for another week, plus, you really don't have to get me anything."
"Fine. I won't."
"Good. You shouldn't have to." I looked up at him, and he was looking over me, mouthing to Kazuki, 'What does she want'. What an idiot. I smiled and pretended not to notice. If he insisted...
"Hey, wait. Where's Hayner? Don't you guys usually get him first?"
"Uh..."
"That's my fault. Namine mentioned him and I told her we could just go back." Kazuki said.
"Oh. Well, on the first snow day, we usually all just meet at the park, anyway. So, it's not big deal."
"Why do we meet at the park?" I asked. Wouldn't it be too cold there?
"Well, it is a snow day. We need some snow. Plus, once we've all gotten freakishly cold, we go over to Olette's house, since it's right by the park. It all works out, you'll see."
I nodded and we continued to walk, finally reaching the park. It was breathtaking. Absolutely beautiful, exactly like my dad used to draw. I stopped in my tracks, just staring at it, my breath forming little clouds. I could feel Kazuki's breath on my cheek as he leaned over near me. "It's really pretty, isn't it?" I couldn't even talk. My mouth was dry and I sniffled, nodding again. "It reminds me of someone I know." He turned to look at me, smiling a little. I smiled at him.
"Stupid," I nudged him a little. "Thanks." Roxas squeezed my hand a little. I looked over at him and he looked worried. "Are you okay?" I asked. He nodded and smiled, but pulled me over to the side.
"I know he doesn't like you, and I know he has a girlfriend, but I'm still kind of uncomfortable with... him."
"Roxas, co–"
"I know. I'm trying I swear, he's just so... sickeningly perfect... and..." He sighed, letting go of my hand. "I can't be that for you." I smiled and took his hand again.
"But you're trying to be, and that's what makes it even better. Plus... who wants perfect? I... it's over rated. I swear, he's like my brother. Exactly like my brother. I have no feelings for him." I swung our hands a little. "Only you." It would have been perfect, and I knew he was thinking it, too. I wanted it, right then, but he hadn't told me he was ready yet, and I didn't want to pressure him into it. Maybe I really had to earn this... I looked away. "Roxas, I–"
"Namine," I looked up at him. "I think... I think I'm ready, now."
I stared at him blankly. "Now?"
"Uh- Well, you know not like... well, not like now now, like... like now in a general sense. Cause you know like... general... it's..."
"Oh, well yeah. I mean..."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"Good."
"Great." How pathetic. This had turned us both into a couple of babbling idiots. I bet we looked cool from afar.
He cleared his throat. "So um... how about..."
"Yeah. O-okay." We turned, both of our faces red, and walked back to Kazuki, who had apparently been freezing his butt off. He was shivering and his whole face was pink from the cold. I looked at Roxas, who looked away, still red, and hugged Kazuki, in an attempt to warm him. He stopped shaking for a second, but then... ow... I turned around, releasing him, and looked at the snow in front of me, just a little bit thicker. I looked up, and saw nothing. Roxas grabbed my hand and started to run, pulling me with him, I picked up running and motioned Kazuki to follow, even though I had no idea what was happening. Kazuki was a faster runner than both of us, even in the snow, and he caught up quickly. "Roxas," I said, almost out of breath. "What are we running from?"
"Hayner."
"Why?"
"Hayner... armed with snowballs. He throws hard, too, so watch out." We kept running, a few snowballs hitting the ground around us as we did. It was fun, but a little scary. That first one hurt. Who knew snow was so hard?
"Shouldn't we make like... I don't know... some fort thing or something?" Kazuki asked, running a little ahead to dodge a snowball.
"The way we play they aren't allowed. But you don't have to play if you're a girl."
"What kind of a rule is that?" I asked, insulted.
"Well, when we were–" He paused and we hid behind trees. He peaked out around the side for a second. "When we were little, there weren't as many girls as boys. Well, there still aren't, but there were only like... two for a while. So anyway, Hayner hit Olette with a really hard snowball one time and she started to cry," We heard footsteps in the snow coming towards us and my heart pounded. Roxas grabbed my hand again and started to run. "She said she didn't want to play, and as it turned out, Kairi didn't want to play either, so we made the rule. If you were a boy, you had to play, or at least get hit a whole bunch, but if you were a girl you didn't have to."
"What if I throw a snowball?" I asked.
"Depends on who you throw it at. A guy can only throw a snowball at a girl if she threw one at him first."
"Does he have to?" Kazuki asked, obviously not wanting to hurt anyone, considering the pain in Hayner's.
"No. He doesn't." We finally reached the fountain at the center of the park.
"Then why is Hayner throwing at me?" I asked, confused by all the circumstances.
"He isn't. He's trying to get revenge on me from last year."
"Wha–"
"Don't worry about it. I'm gonna go, I'll be back here in a few minutes."
"Roxas," I said, stopping him as he left. "Be careful." He smiled sweetly.
"Namine, it's a snowball fight, not a dramatic movie. I'll be fine. I promise." He started to leave. "But thanks for worrying about me."
You could hear yelling and the laughter of the two boys. Kazuki sat with me so I wouldn't be all alone. "I don't mind him."
"Huh?"
"Roxas, you dating him. I'm happy that you finally got what you wanted."
"Well, thanks... but... what do you mean you don't mind him?" I asked.
"He's really nice to you, and you're obviously his top priority. He's gonna be a good boyfriend to you and I don't mind you dating him." I laughed a little.
"Thanks." After a few minutes, Roxas came back. He was breathing heavily and smiling huge. "Roxas!"
"The others are here, now. It's getting huge. If you want to go with the other girls, they're by the bushes. It's the warmest place in the park." He stopped and turned. "Kazuki, go with her." Now it really was a dramatic movie. But sweet. One of those... action romance things. I smiled thinking about it. Kazuki nodded and took my hand, standing up and running.
As he pulled me, I looked back at Roxas, watching us leave. Then, he pulled his hat back on and ran out to face the rest of them. I turned back just as we were nearing the bushes. Roxas was right, because of the high shrubs, no snow had fallen there. I stepped onto the frosted grass and released Kazuki's hand. "Hey." I greeted everyone.
"Hey, Namine." Kairi said. "How long have you been here?" I shrugged.
"Apparently not as long as Hayner. He's crazy."
Olette smiled. "Yeah, he always is around Christmas."
"Don't worry," Selphie said. "They're already coming in. This never did last very long." The boys all ran in, each of them covered in a ton of snow. It was almost funny, Hayner went straight to Olette, Sora to Kairi, and Roxas to me. The others just kind of drifted, but Selphie then, went over to Tidus, smiling, and puling on gloves. The other girls started to brush the snow off of the boys that had walked to them. I watched smiling, because Roxas didn't expect me to do anything. He just took off his jacket and shook it out. By now I felt horrible, though. Kazuki hadn't really warmed up any, and now he was pretty much frozen. But there wasn't much I could do.
"Are you all ready?" Olette said. We nodded and started to walk to her house. For some unknown reason that everybody noticed -but nobody questioned- Olette and Hayner were holding hands. Maybe it was just the cold. "So how was it?" Olette asked, kind of in general.
"Man. One word." Hayner started. "Epic." The other boys laughed.
"No, it wasn't that exciting." Sora said.
"It was fun, though." Wakka mentioned. "It's hard to say who won this year."
"WHAT?!" Hayner and Roxas yelled together. "I killed him!" They looked at each other.
"What are you talking about?" Hayner asked. "I totally owned you out there!" He let go of Olette's hand to point and yell at Roxas.
"Are you kidding me?" Roxas shot back. "You didn't stand a chance!"
Everyone kind of laughed as the two yelled back and forth, never actually moving toward each other. "Whatever!" Hayner ended it. "We'll just tie it this year!"
"Fine!" Roxas yelled. Both of the boys were flustered and pink, but when Roxas turned to me, he was perfectly calm. "Did you keep warm?"
I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, thanks." I couldn't help but notice everyone watching us as we walked. "So um... do you think that, you know. We should tell them now?"
"I guess. Sure."
"Huh?" Everyone was kind of dumbfounded.
I looked at Roxas, I didn't know how to start. "Um... we're kind of..." Roxas tried, but couldn't really find the words. Olette put her hand on the doorknob, but refused to move until we said something. It was obvious that everyone knew, they just wanted us to say it. "Going out."
Squeals from the girls. "I knew it!"
"Finally."
"That is so cute!" I blushed and hid my face in Roxas's chest, he blushed, and placed his arms around me.
"Olette! Is that you, honey?"
"Yeah mom!" Olette called as she stepped into the house. "Come on in." She said to all of us. We all came in and ran up to her room, where a large bowl was sitting on the ground. We all took seats around it and she dumped a whole bunch of little papers into the bowl.
"I assumed everyone was participating this year. Namine and Kazuki, too. Right?"
"Yeah." Kazuki said. I nodded.
"Alright. Well then, let's pick!" Selphie said. Everyone kind of rammed heads to get their piece of paper, and then ran over to Kairi so she could record it. I guess it was because she was the best secret keeper... When it was my turn standing in front of her, I unfolded the paper. "I got Pence." I said, showing it to her.
"Okay, thanks." She took everybody's names and then we all went back downstairs. We each took a mug of hot chocolate, I guess Olette's mom had like... a ton, and went back outside. Although it didn't make much sense, everyone in the group wanted to drink their hot cocoa in the snow. There was just something about it.
We all grouped together, in one big blob of people. It went Tidus, Selphie, Riku, Kairi, Sora, Wakka, Pence, Olette, Hayner, Roxas, Me, and Kazuki. Actually, I was sitting in Roxas's lap, so that was a little off, but anyway, we were all sitting in one big circle, so it closed up where Tidus and Kazuki were. Roxas took off his scarf, and draped it around my neck, then back around his, loosely. I smiled and leaned my head back onto his shoulder. It was quiet for a while then everybody except for me and Kazuki started to laugh. "Truth or dare!" Most of them yelled, still laughing.
"Huh?" I asked.
"It's kind of a tradition. We do this every year." Selphie said.
"Oh... okay. Go ahead."
"What do you mean?" Kairi said. "Newcomers start."
I was a little surprised. "Well..." I never liked starting the game. "Kazuki's newer than me." He looked over at me, then sighed.
"Fine, if it's gonna be like that. Namine, truth or dare?"
---
Namine sighed, avoiding my gaze. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was even more beautiful than the snow. When we caught up to Kazuki, he kind of gave me a don't-touch-her kind of a look. Namine kind of hit him and he shrugged, pretending not to notice. She smiled at me, and I acted like I hadn't been staring at her... which was hard...
"Namine..." I started out. "What do you want for Christmas?"
"We haven't even drawn names yet. What makes you think you'll get me?" She didn't get it sometimes...
I shrugged. "Maybe I don't think I'll get you. But, come on, it's Christmas. I can't not get my girlfriend a present." Kazuki smiled, his evil eye withdrawn, and I was kind of thankful for that... I don't know why, but Namine's smile got just a little bit brighter when she answered.
"Well um... I don't really know what I want. I mean, the Christmas party isn't for another week, plus, you really don't have to get me anything."
"Fine. I won't." I lied. I would be a horrible person if I didn't. Besides, I really wanted to show her that I cared.
"Good. You shouldn't have to." I ignored her and looked at Kazuki, mouthing 'What does she want'. He shrugged, not much help after all.
"Hey, wait. Where's Hayner? Don't you guys usually get him first?" I said, finally noticing the absence of my best friend.
"Uh..."
"That's my fault. Namine mentioned him and I told her we could just go back." Kazuki said.
"Oh. Well, on the first snow day, we usually all just meet at the park, anyway. So, it's not big deal." He probably wouldn't have been there anyway. The guy's crazy, he's always at the park freakishly early to try and kill the next person who get's there. In other words, me.
"Why do we meet at the park?" Namine asked. I knew she was wondering about the cold. It was her first snow day after all...
"Well, it is a snow day. We need some snow. Plus, once we've all gotten freakishly cold, we go over to Olette's house, since it's right by the park. It all works out, you'll see."
She nodded and we walked in silence until we reached the park. It was pretty, but nothing new, it looked the same every year. There was just something about seeing it with Namine, holding her hand. Her expression was so innocent, like a little kid or something, seeing a skyscraper. Something about the glint in her eye, I thought she hadn't seen snow before? It seemed like it felt familiar to her... somehow... "It's really pretty, isn't it?" I overheard Kazuki. Namine nodded, sniffling a little. "It reminds me of someone I know." They smiled at each other. I tried to keep a straight face, but something about their bond... intimidated me.
"Stupid," She nudged him. "Thanks." I tried not to, but I squeezed her hand a little, just to get her attention, or maybe to take it away from him. "Are you okay?" She asked. I nodded, and tried to smile, but I don't know if it worked or not, and pulled her over to the side.
"I know he doesn't like you, and I know he has a girlfriend, but I'm still kind of uncomfortable with... him." I knew she didn't want to hear it, but I just thought that she should know.
"Roxas, co–"
"I know. I'm trying I swear, he's just so... sickeningly perfect... and..." I sighed and let go of the hand I didn't really deserve to hold. "I can't be that for you." But she smiled sweetly, like nothing was wrong, and took my hand again.
"But you're trying to be, and that's what makes it even better. Plus... who wants perfect? I... it's over rated. I swear, he's like my brother. Exactly like my brother. I have no feelings for him." She moved our hands back and forth, it made me realize how young I was to feel that way about her. "Only you." That was when I knew I was ready to kiss her, and I wanted to so bad. How do I say– "Roxas, I–"
"Namine," She looked up at me. "I think... I think I'm ready, now."
She just looked at me, maybe I shouldn't have told her. "Now?"
"Uh- Well, you know not like... well, not like now now, like... like now in a general sense. Cause you know like... general... it's..."
"Oh, well yeah. I mean..."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
"Good."
"Great." Wow. That was embarrassing. It became awkward and I knew I should have told her at a different time.
I cleared my throat, rather loudly. "So um... how about..."
"Yeah. O-okay." We turned and walked back to Kazuki. She looked at me, but I couldn't look at her, so I turned my eyes away. When I turned back, she was hugging Kazuki, and then... open fire.
She looked up and I know she couldn't see him, but I could. Another snowball was hurling through the air and I grabbed her hand and started to run. Kazuki was apparently freakishly fast because in no time, he had caught up to us. "Roxas, what are we running from?"
"Hayner." I said. But she wouldn't understand.
"Why?"
"Hayner... armed with snowballs. He throws hard, too, so watch out." I can't believe he broke the rule. I would have to tell the others when it was his turn in truth or dare. Then he'd get it. But just the fact that he hit Namine was worse than just hitting a girl. I know he's not that stupid.
"Shouldn't we make like... I don't know... some fort thing or something?" Kazuki asked.
"The way we play they aren't allowed. But you don't have to play if you're a girl."
"What kind of a rule is that?" Namine asked. Oh great. They wanted actual details.
"Well, when we were–" I stopped and pulled her behind a tree with me, glancing back. The coast was clear, but only for so long. "When we were little, there weren't as many girls as boys. Well, there still aren't, but there were only like... two for a while. So anyway, Hayner hit Olette with a really hard snowball one time and she started to cry," Glosh. Footsteps... I took her hand and started running again. "She said she didn't want to play, and as it turned out, Kairi didn't want to play either, so we made the rule. If you were a boy, you had to play, or at least get hit a whole bunch, but if you were a girl you didn't have to."
"What if I throw a snowball?" She asked. Now they were really getting technical.
"Depends on who you throw it at. A guy can only throw a snowball at a girl if she threw one at him first."
"Does he have to?" Kazuki asked. Pf. Too nice.
"No. He doesn't." We got to the fountain, and they sat, good choice.
"Then why is Hayner throwing at me?" Namine asked. I knew she didn't get it.
"He isn't. He's trying to get revenge on me from last year." Or at least he better not be throwing at her...
"Wha–"
"Don't worry about it. I'm gonna go, I'll be back here in a few minutes."
"Roxas," I looked back. "Be careful." I smiled. This was kind of cute. Perfect for a movie.
"Namine, it's a snowball fight, not a dramatic movie. I'll be fine. I promise." I started to walk away, no need to run. I'd only be rushing Hayner to his immanent demise. "But thanks for worrying about me."
As soon as I was out, I was hit. "Dead!" I yelled. Me and Hayner were hands down the best out of anyone else in the group. We made up this weird technique when we were younger where we don't even have to shape it, we just pick up snow and throw. It's a lot faster, and a lot more effective.
"Try it!"
"Done!" But then he was hit from behind. Crap. The others were here. He looked back over at me and I looked him, we instantly booked for the same tree, slipping a little as we went. I made it there a little bit before him, so he was more exposed. "What were you thinking hitting her?!" I yelled at him.
"SH!"
"I don't even care!" I said, quieter. "You know you can't hit a girl, because you're the reason we made the freaking rule! And why Namine?"
"This is why!"
"What?!"
"Last year, you held back on me, and you still won! I figure, when I kill you, I might as well kill you fair and square."
"That wasn't fair though!" The tree was hit. "Crap!" We ran out from our safety spot. I ran back to where I had left Namine and Kazuki.
"Roxas!"
"The others are here, now. It's getting huge. If you want to go with the other girls, they're by the bushes. It's the warmest place in the park." I stopped and turned. "Kazuki, go with her." I felt stupid saying it, but if he left her, there was no way she'd make it past Hayner. I couldn't hold him off that long and defend myself from all those other guys. I watched them leave and made sure that they got a good start, when I was sure they'd be okay, I pulled my hat on and headed back out.
It was brutal, cold, and painful. But so freaking fun.
After it finally ended, we called truce, and made our way back to the bushes. It was where we always met. Everyone went straight to the girl they liked, assuming they liked one, except for Tidus, because Selphie went to him. I didn't really expect Namine to brush off the snow like the other should-be-couples did. It was just something that started a long time ago, and she just wasn't here when it did. Plus, it would've been kind of awkward. I just handled it myself.
"Are you all ready?" Olette asked. We started to walk to her house and I noted that she was holding Hayner's hand. Oh my god, finally. I was kind of hoping that Hayner would make his move on her before someone else did. Everyone knows she'd been waiting, but I had a feeling that we'd all take care of that this year... "So how was it?" Olette asked, like she did every year.
"Man. One word." Hayner started. "Epic." We laughed.
"No, it wasn't that exciting." Sora said.
"It was fun, though." Wakka mentioned. "It's hard to say who won this year." Every year, me and Hayner kind of faced off...
"WHAT?!" We yelled in unison. "I killed him!" Again... in unison.
"What are you talking about?" Hayner asked. "I totally owned you out there!" He let go of Olette's hand which is probably good because she would have let go anyway. She hates it when we fight.
"Are you kidding me?" I yelled back. "You didn't stand a chance!"
We kind of went at it while staying next to Namine and Olette, needless to say, I didn't want to leave her side, and Hayner had waited too long to be at it. "Whatever!" Hayner ended it. "We'll just tie it this year!"
"Fine!" I yelled, kind of mad that I didn't win what I should have. I turned to Namine, and tried to keep my temper down for her. "Did you keep warm?"
She smiled at me and nodded. "Yeah, thanks." I knew she noticed that everybody was staring at us so... what better time? "So um... do you think that, you know. We should tell them now?"
"I guess. Sure."
"Huh?" Idiots...
Namine looked at me. "Um... we're kind of..." I stalled until we were at Olette's house where we could move on to another topic without lingering in embarrassment for too long. "Going out."
Squealing -typical- from the girls, smirks from Hayner, and smiles from the others. "I knew it!"
"Finally."
"That is so cute!" Namine, blushing, snuggled her face into my chest, and I put my arms around her, trying not to look at Kazuki, in fear of another... look.
"Olette! Is that you, honey?"
"Yeah mom!" Routine. "Come on in." As if we wouldn't have... We all ran up to her room where "The Bowl" awaited. Again, nothing new.
"I assumed everyone was participating this year. Namine and Kazuki, too. Right?"
"Yeah." Kazuki said. Namine nodded.
"Alright. Well then, let's pick!" And then it began. Killing each other to be the first one to know who they got. We all ran over to Kairi so she could record, I was second only to Sora, and he had other reasons to rush to her... "I got Olette." I informed her, and then went to go antagonize Hayner.
After we all recorded the names and ran downstairs, we picked up the same mugs we got every year. Mine with the snowman, Sora's with the stocking, and so on, and so forth. Then, when Kazuki and Namine got the last two, we ran outside to drink the steaming hot... hot cocoa, in the freezing cold snow.
We sat in a huge circle that went something like Tidus, Selphie, Riku, Kairi, Sora, Wakka, Pence, Olette, Hayner, me, Namine, and Kazuki. But then again, Namine was in my lap so... That was new. I noticed again that she lacked a scarf, so I took mine off, and wrapped it loosely around her neck, and then again around mine. She leaned her head back onto my shoulder and I smiled, lacing my fingers with hers. It was quiet for a while, everybody in the old group started to laugh. "Truth or dare!" We yelled, still laughing. It was funny because we all knew it would come, and then we still got surprised that everyone yelled together.
"Huh?" Namine asked.
"It's kind of a tradition. We do this every year." Selphie informed.
"Oh... okay. Go ahead."
"What do you mean?" Kairi said. "Newcomers start."
She didn't expect it. "Well..." She thought for a minute. "Kazuki's newer than me." I tried not to laugh at him, then he sighed.
"Fine, if it's gonna be like that. Namine, truth or dare?"
---
Please prepare yourself for the next chapter, it is the most RETARDED thing you will ever read. I was EXTREMELY tired when I wrote it, and my best friend is stupid so she wont let me go back and re-write it. Sorry if you waste your time reading it, but I figured I had to update. So, here goes.