An hour later, Balthier strolled back down the hallway to the Tonberry Room. He didn't understand why the room had such a name, but it was probably one of Sir Merritt's eccentricities that would forever remain a mystery. He unlocked the door and shut it behind him, noticing that Ashe had not yet returned from whatever mingling she may have embarked upon.
He would not admit that he was severely disappointed at the lack of Her Majesty's presence. Not for sentimental reasons, he thought quickly, but because he wanted to share his triumphant and sneaky acquisition of the guest list with her. Balthier tugged the parchment from where it presently rested up his sleeve and hopped back onto the bed.
The sky pirate had daringly managed to infiltrate the butler's quarters. The list had been placed casually atop a pile of other papers, and he would never notice it missing. He had been in and out of the room in under a minute, but sneaking back through the servants' passageways had been the real test of his skills. But he hadn't been caught, and he could now examine the list in the comfort of the fluffy bed.
His eyes drifted over the numerous names, and he actually recognized a few of them. Some school chums from his former life, a few marks he'd robbed, but none of them were standing out as a potential Durio alias. Until he reached the bottom of the page. "You have to be joking!" he cried aloud to the silent room.
The room was silent no more as the door opened, and an anxious Princess rushed in. "Oh, you're here…" she muttered, shutting the door behind her. Ashe kicked her shoes off in the same manner she had earlier, and she hurried over to the bed. She flounced onto it and moved to sit beside him.
Before he could say a word, Ashe was pulling up her dress and stretching out a nice, long leg right beside him. "Hold on a moment! I usually like to start a bit slower, Princess…" Balthier heard himself remark, but he could not bring his eyes to part with the young woman's shapely leg.
However, her ulterior motive was quickly revealed. She pulled a piece of parchment from her thigh where it had been secured with a garter. She of course gave him a look of disgust as she tugged her dress back down and showed him the parchment. "So much for the leading man. The leading lady was just as productive!"
Ashe had an identical copy of the guest list he held in his own hand. But where his merely contained names, her list also had corresponding room and airship berth assignments for all the guests. "Now where in Ivalice did you get this?" he asked in surprise as he snatched the list away from her. She grinned at him and seemed very proud to have outdone him in his own profession.
"If you must know all my secrets, Balthier, I suppose I could tell you. Married couples are supposed to share everything, are they not?" she remarked. He had never seen the Princess more pleased with herself.
He gave her his most sincere submissive look, although Fran often remarked that it looked more like he had bad indigestion when he made that face. "Please Ashe. Please tell me where you found this."
She smirked at him. "I asked for it."
Balthier was dumbfounded. "What do you mean 'asked' for it?"
Ashe tugged the parchment back away from him. "Just what I said! I went back to that nice porter who showed us to the room and asked for it. I said I was looking for a friend."
He was unimaginably impressed. That was…very practical of her. With all the commotion she had caused by storming back into the room, he'd forgotten the news he'd had for her. "Anyhow, well done. You have my utmost praise for your ingenuity." She smiled again, not the least bit modest about her stunning achievement. "Did you happen to notice a certain name on the guest list?"
She knew exactly what he meant. The Princess pointed to a name on the list. "Balthier Bunansa is apparently housing a small vessel in the south hangar."
The sky pirate tossed his lesser guest list aside and slid off the bed. "He steals my ship, and then comes here in MY name? Durio is going to swiftly learn the meaning of boot in the ass." She laughed at him, and he wandered over to his own garment bag. "I suggest we get ready and head for the hangar before the ball. If the ship is there, then we're taking it."
The Princess looked confused. "Let me understand you a moment here, Balthier. We get dressed up…and then we go to the hangar and steal the Strahl back? Don't you think the timeline is a bit backwards?"
He began to unsnap the clasps holding his vest on. "I still have a suspicion that Durio is an absolute moron, but I don't think the Strahl is actually where it says. We still may have to inquire at the ball."
Balthier saw Ashe's eyes follow his hands as he continued to undress. "What are you doing?" she asked quietly.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
She hopped down from the bed and walked over to him. "You can do that in the bathroom." She picked up his garment bag and threw it into the adjoining room and started picking up his cologne and other toiletries to toss them in there as well.
Before she could mess up his organization, he shooed her away from his personal items. He grabbed his things and went into the bathroom, slamming the door with a satisfying bang. "This marriage is suffocating me!" he cried loudly, hearing a muffled snort in reply through the heavy wooden door.
He got dressed quickly and tried to ignore the image of Her Royal Highness hitching up her dress at his side. While it had only happened minutes earlier, his mind was already enlivening the memory. By the time he was dealing with his cuff links, he was the one lifting up the silky garment to reveal the garter beneath. He had to focus.
His comb was missing. He checked the entire sink area…then beneath the sink area…then beside the sink area. Frowning, he opened the door brusquely. The words "Where is my blasted comb?" formed in his mind, but they could not emerge from his mouth for the Princess was engaged in a very provocative dance in front of the full-length looking glass.
Well, he supposed, if one was entirely alien to the concept of dressing up, it did look like Ashe was dancing. But it appeared that her dress was causing her a great deal of trouble. Balthier was very amused to see the long, red strapless gown clutched in one hand around her chest while the other hand swatted to reach for the ties at the back.
"How did Elza tie this?" she mumbled grumpily, not yet noticing he had emerged from the bathroom. He sighed and walked over to her. Elza had two hands free when you tried it on, you silly Princess, he thought to himself.
He approached, and she stopped her movements. She clutched the bodice against herself, and it appeared that it would fall to the floor if she wasn't laced up in back. The sky pirate grabbed the two strings and began passing them through the small holes in the fabric. "Allow me…"
She wrenched away from him and pressed her chest against the wall to keep the dress up, and she returned her hands to her back and began tugging the strings herself. "I can do it!" she protested. Balthier winced at the uncomfortable look on her face as her hands maneuvered behind her back.
"You're going to tear it," he replied, locating his comb on the vanity near Ashe's things. He pulled the comb through his hair while she continued her efforts.
"I said I can do it," she muttered, and he laughed at her attempt to thread the string through the tiny holes.
He threw his comb back down on the vanity and went back to her. He slapped at her hands and yanked the strings back. "Will you just let me tie the damn dress?" She was silent and moved her hands to her front to hold the dress up. She wandered back in front of the looking glass to watch him. He smiled and pulled the strings back and forth in a zigzag.
She adjusted the top of the gown while his fingers worked. "Tie it tighter."
He had been pulling as hard as he thought appropriate. "Are you sure?" he asked incredulously.
Ashe rolled her eyes in the mirror at him. "It feels loose." He gave the strings a hard tug, and she inhaled sharply. Thinking he had seriously harmed her, he went into full panic mode. But she met his eyes in the glass and nodded for him to keep going.
"How do you women breathe in these contraptions?" he responded and continued his tying. It was finally laced all the way to the top, and she let her hands fall away from the top of the gown. To his dismay, it did not fall to her ankles.
She smiled at her appearance, but then he saw her eyes drift to catch him watching her. He finally realized that he was standing close enough to be surgically attached to her back. They continued their unabashed staring for a few seconds more when her eyes widened.
"Earrings!" she exclaimed.
"What?" She turned around suddenly and reached her hands out to his face. "Whoa! What are you doing?" She grabbed his chin and moved his head sideways and began tugging on his earlobes.
"You can't wear these to the ball. You're an aristocrat, not a pirate now," she explained, and he had to admit that she was correct. But she wasn't being very gentle.
He allowed her to pull all of his earrings out, wincing painfully at every removal. "Tug it a bit harder, Ashe. I don't think my ears are bleeding yet," he grimaced.
Removing the final earring, she turned back to the mirror. "Calm down, would you? Don't be such a baby." To his surprise, the Princess began inserting some of his jewelry into her own ears.
"Oh, it's all wrong for me, but you get to accessorize?" he complained, rubbing his reddened earlobes.
She grinned and finished her preparations. "When you're done whining, can we go check out this hangar?"
The sky pirate rolled his eyes and checked his appearance one last time in the mirror. "Whenever Her Ladyship wishes to depart, her husband is ready." She shook her head, his earrings jangling about. It wasn't so much strange to see his jewelry adorning her as it was alluring. This little side quest of theirs was slowly evolving into something he did not yet have a word for.
He opened the door and escorted his wife…er, Ashe in the direction of the airship hangar. As they walked, a question popped into Balthier's mind. He halted her by grabbing the crook of her arm. She looked up at him, and he smiled. "If the porter just handed you the guest list…why did you tuck it under your dress like that?"
She looked down and a flush spread over her face and to Balthier's delight, to the exposed skin not covered by her dress. "Oh, no reason really," she mumbled quietly.
The Princess turned and continued down the hallway, but as another couple emerged from a room down the hall, he hurried to get behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. The sky pirate decided that their little act required them to be affectionate, and what was a little practice before the ball?
He inhaled the rich floral scent of her perfume as he gently nuzzled her neck, and the other couple smiled at them. He lifted his lips to her ear. "You did that to impress me, didn't you?" he whispered.
She said nothing, and he released her. The Princess' increasingly pink skin was the only answer he needed. He rushed to catch up with her as she nearly sprinted down the hallway.