Chapter 22: Presents and Kisses
I guess it was kind of weird now. There wasn't exactly a regular way to just say, okay, moving on. I just stood there, smiling, trying to figure out in my head a way to talk to Roxas now. We probably stood in silence for about a minute or two when I turned. "Roxas I–" My eyes widened. My hand fell. Staring at him, and he couldn't stare back, because his eyes were closed. Shut tight. I didn't know what to do, how to stop him, although I almost didn't want to. It didn't feel right for him to do this, but I knew it had to be. After what seemed like forever, he let go of my shoulders.
"I'm sorry. Forget that." And he turned and walked up the stairs. I watched him, still shaky about what happened, and then, looking down, smiled a little, and followed where he had gone.
When I walked back into the room, he had only just sat down, but he wouldn't look at me. He started to glance over at one point, but noticing that I stared back, he averted his gaze, again. "Where did you guys go?" Kairi asked, because it didn't look like anybody else would.
"We just had to see someone. It was nothing." Roxas said.
I just nodded, and sat down. He couldn't look at me, I couldn't speak. And I couldn't because...
my lips were still numb from his kiss.
I didn't know why he had done it, but in truth, I didn't care. Part of me just pictured the moment differently, and it felt awkward to not have it happen that way.
But Roxas, I didn't know how he felt about it, or if he would ever give me a chance to return the way he felt. I wanted to say something, but with everyone there... I couldn't. "So um..." Selphie's voice broke the silence.
"Huh?" I asked, snapping out of it, and looking up to find almost everyone's eyes locked on me. "W-what?" Deviously smiling faces...
"The mistletoe, remember?" Hayner said, grinning. Finally, Roxas look up at me, his cheeks pink, and he looked stubborn, like he wouldn't kiss me just because.
"We..." I didn't want to tell them, because I didn't know if he cared, but I couldn't kiss him just for mistletoe, I didn't want to then, and now... "We don't wanna waste our first." I lied, and he looked away, back out to the side, at the wall, with an impassive expression on his face.
"Aw! Namine! Don't spoil the fun!"
"You can't fight the power of love!" My eyes widened at the joke and I looked down. I don't know why... but I couldn't control my blushing now, and I had to shut my eyes tight and keep my face from them. My hands shook a little and I clenched them into fists trying to figure out what was the matter with me. The power of love... that was all they said and then... my stomach was in knots and I could hardly breath normally. My heart raced as I thought of Roxas... love... And I didn't know how I would find the sanity down in me to even respond. I couldn't look up, let alone, look at Roxas, and so I had no idea what he was doing, but after what seemed like forever, he spoke.
"You can't make her kiss me." He said, quietly. Opening one eye at a time, I slowly tilted my head upward until I caught his gaze affixed on me. "If she doesn't want to, it's up to her."
Then, Roxas's eyes weren't the only ones looking my way. The eyes of my friends bored holes right through me and I felt so embarrassed I thought I would just die. "Ho-how about we open presents now? We can... do this after..." Everyone was temporarily distracted by the thought of presents that they began to run downstairs. Once they had gone, Roxas and I were the only two left in the room. I tried to help myself to my feet, but I felt so weak, so exhausted from everything. Sighing, I simply gave up, but then a hand was practically thrust into my face. It startled me, and I fell back a little, but just enough to see Roxas, not looking my way, pink faced, his other hand jammed in his pocket, and his bottom lip kind of sticking out a little.
He peered down at me. "You coming?" And he moved his hand a little more my way. Smiling, I took it, and he helped to pull me up. "Are you okay?" I nodded, staring at him, just smiling. I still couldn't find words for him, words enough to tell him how I felt about the kiss, how I felt about him, words to say I loved him, without saying it out loud, but just as I opened my mouth to speak, he interrupted me. "Sorry I kissed you, it was stupid. I just had to... never mind. Just forget it, okay? It never happened."
Saddened as I was, I didn't want to forget something like his kiss, I nodded. It really seemed like he wanted it to just be gone forever, and for the sake of what he wanted, I was more than willing to just let it drift away. Still holding my hand, Roxas started down the stairs. Everyone had waited for us, and there were little piles of presents everywhere. They had even sorted Roxas's and mine from the rest. Hesitantly, I sat next to him, still unable to speak. As I looked at my pile, I noticed. Four presents, and I thought. Shouldn't I have... at most... two? Then I glanced over at Roxas, his pile had three. I wasn't surprised considering that one was from me, and one from my grandmother, but me... how did I get four? I picked up one of the presents.
To: Namine
From: Olette
Figures. It was neatly wrapped and had a little bow tied tight around it, shimmering against the color of the paper. I opened it and saw that it was a new sketchbook. I smiled and set in on the floor next to me, picking up the next gift. It was tagged a little differently.
To: Namine
The word Love was scribbled out and under it, From had been written. The name that followed was... Roxas. I could feel myself blushing, and I looked at him, opening his first present, he glanced my way, and noticed the present in my hands, smiled, and put his present down, moving a little closer. "You didn't have to get me anything..." I said, because he didn't.
"I know, I wanted to." Smiling, I closed the gap between us and moved upward, sitting on his lap. Slowly, I tore the paper from the present and saw a small box. I looked up at him, and he looked away, still smiling, and I turned my attention back to his gift. I opened the box and reached inside without looking. I felt around and found a cold chain. I took it up and pulled it from the box. It was long, and silver, and from it, hung a silver heart with the engraving, "Always with my heart..." I turned it over in my hands and felt Roxas's breath on my face. "Open it." He whispered, and he sounded like he was smiling. I shivered a little from his warmth, and opened the locket. My hand nearly fell limp with the piece of jewelry still in it. A picture of my father, smiling as he always was... is what resided inside the already beautiful locket.
I looked up at him, and he was still looking to the side, smiling at our friends who were obliviously opening their things, knowing nothing of the significance of such a thing. "Roxas..."
He looked down at me as he spoke, but never finished, because... "Ye–" I kissed him.
I could feel everyone's attention turned our way, but I didn't care. Roxas, hesitantly returned my kiss, but there was no way for me to thank him. Something so precious... The other two presents for me were from his parents, and one was from Kazuki. Apparently, he had taken my gift from his house just in case, on his way to Fae's family's, he might pass Roxas's house. He told me later that he had gotten the picture from my mother, and he tried to be modest about it, but my mom told me that it was all his idea, and all she did was supply the tiny photo. I felt almost horrible after Roxas had opened his gift from me, because all it was... was a crappy sketching of us together.
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I couldn't stop staring at Namine. She was staring straight ahead, smiling. Just watching, and almost waiting for me to say something. But I couldn't. Not that I didn't try, but... I knew that if I spoke to her, I would lose whatever nerve was left in me to do what I had to do. Now. "Roxas I–" And I did it. There was no other way for it to happen. Things... were weird between us already, and if I did it now, we could work it out later along with everything else that was bugging her. I tried to stop, because I started to think that she didn't really like me anymore, or something, because it seemed like everything I did was just making her uncomfortable, but I couldn't. It was just so perfect now that it was finally happening that, even if I had wanted to, I wouldn't have been able to let go of her.
Until, finally, the time came for it to end "I'm sorry. Forget that." And I left her.
After I sat down, Namine came in, and just stared at me. I guess she really didn't want me to do it. "Where did you guys go?" Kairi asked.
"We just had to see someone. It was nothing." I figured Namine wouldn't talk.
I didn't look at her, but I heard her sit down. I almost smiled, but couldn't find the heart. I could still feel...
her lips on mine...
Really, I just couldn't help myself. I guess that must make me sound like a pervert or something, but I don't really care. I had finally kissed Namine, and... something weird in me said that next time, she would kiss me back.
But Namine... Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her, she hadn't wanted to kiss me before. But then, wouldn't she have broken away? Why did she just stand there and wait? What did she think? "So um..." Selphie's voice cut into my thoughts.
"Huh?" Namine asked, I guess she was thinking to. Everyone was just looking at her, and I rolled my eyes, trying hard not to be a part of it. "W-what?" I wanted it all to be over with.
"The mistletoe, remember?" And of course it had to be Hayner. Still a little angry, I looked up at Namine, and finding her gaze fixed on me, my cheeks became pink.
"We..." She was stuttering and I started to think what would happen if she told them. Not that it would really matter to me, but what would she think if they knew? What did she think... right now? "We don't wanna waste our first." That was unexpected. I looked back out to the side, somehow not finding the heart to face her, anymore.
"Aw! Namine! Don't spoil the fun!"
"You can't fight the power of love!" My eyes grew wide, and I looked over at Namine, who was hiding her face, and yet, even still, her blush was noticeable. It grew quiet in the room, and I watched her intensely, almost as if to find out from her reaction... if she maybe loved me, too. I didn't really know what to think of her reaction, she looked weak, kind of how I got when I thought about her... but considering... I had never been in love, I didn't know if that was her way of letting us know that that was a stupid thing to say. The power of love, huh? I guess I still didn't know it, all.
It didn't take me all that long to grow tired of watching her little struggle. "You can't make her kiss me." I said, quietly. She slowly looked up, meeting my gaze halfway with hers. "If she doesn't want to, it's up to her."
And then everyone's attention turned to the girl sitting on the floor. My head was still on my fist, and I looked out again, somewhat bored with the situation at hand, but I felt like I was being a jerk. "Ho-how about we open presents now? We can... do this after..." I don't know if the people really cared about that more, or if they just wanted to let her off the hook, because it was obvious that she was freaking out. Well, whatever the reason, everybody got up and headed downstairs, except for Namine and me. She tried to stand up, but kind of fell back to the ground before she could even leave it. She sighed, and just sat there, so I got up, and offered my hand, but in a stubborn way, and she probably just thought I was rude. I didn't want to look like the boyfriend from hell, but I couldn't really be the sweet kid I normally was with her. She looked up at me.
I shifted a little and looked down at her. "You coming?" I moved my hand even closer to her face, and she smiled, taking it. I pulled her up with ease. "Are you okay?" She nodded, smiling at me, but who knows why? She opened her mouth to say something, and I freaked. I didn't want to be rejected, and I kind of just threw it all out there, not giving her a chance to say anything. "Sorry I kissed you, it was stupid. I just had to... never mind. Just forget it, okay? It never happened." But it did, and I had wanted it to.
She nodded. I guess she really did want it to just disappear because she didn't really protest. I was disappointed, but what could I do? I couldn't change her mind for her. I started down the stairs, still holding Namine's hand, because even if I had to let go of the kiss, I wanted to hold on to her for as long as I could. I noticed that Namine was hesitant sitting next to me, probably uncomfortable with the current happenings. I knew Namine hadn't expected to have so many presents, and I pretended not to notice. I acted as if I wasn't watching her, just out of the corner of my eye, watching her smile, forgetting about the kiss, already.
I didn't want to be too obvious about watching her, and I knew that the present she was holding wasn't from me, so I picked up one of my presents and turned it over in my hand a few times, just to pass some time before she got to the present I had saved up money to get her.
After she had opened the first present, most likely from her secret santa, she put it down next to her and reached out for another. My heart skipped a beat when her fingers grazed the present I had bought her, but then continued. Pausing, she went back and picked up my present and, although I don't know why, my face flushed.
I knew she was reading the tag. At first, I had put Love Roxas, not really thinking anything of it, but then the thought occurred to me that she might take it the wrong way, or maybe... the way it was intended to sound... And so I had scribbled it out and written from, most likely making me just look stupider. I started to open my first present, and she looked at me. I couldn't avoid her any longer, and so I looked at her, and smiled, scooting a little closer to share the moment with her. "You didn't have to get me anything..."
"I know, I wanted to." She moved up, and sat on my lap, of course causing me to blush insanely. I couldn't help but picture her reaction to the present, and I smiled. I knew she would love it. Just as she looked at me, I turned away, almost embarrassed if she would think it was too sweet. I could hear her pulling the necklace from the box, and take in a sharp breath. I leaned in. "Open it." I said softly, but then looked away as she fumbled with the silver heart. Her breathing was completely cut off for a few seconds, and I knew I had done well.
I looked out, trying not to look so proud of myself, but I was still smiling. "Roxas..."
"Ye–" As soon as I looked down at her, and my lips were within her range, I fell subject to her sweet kiss.
It was weird, but almost better that everyone saw. Now they got their stupid mistletoe, and I got Namine's lips. Later, when I opened her gift, I was alarmed at how perfect it was, but I couldn't have done anything more for her right now, and so a simple thank you sufficed.
Something told me that this Christmas would be the best one yet.