It’s All Relative on the Hellmouth Chapter 10: Pain is Tricky, a buffy x-overs fanfic

Chapter Ten: Pain is Tricky

Buffy watched Harry. He had leaned back on the couch, and seemed to have fallen asleep. His breathing regular, his face relaxed. She still had her arm twined in his. While he'd spoken, she'd felt this need for physical contact. As if by merely supporting him physically she might help with his emotional pain. Buffy watched his face worriedly. He hadn't cried. Was that normal? Was he passed the crying stage of grief...did grief have stages? Buffy twisted her hair roughly and frowned. With a sigh, she looked away from Harry's face and let her fingers ghost across his arm, but not enough to wake him. Her fingertips merely brushing softly across his skin.

His friends were dead.

It was a rather short sentence to compact what Harry had spent two hours telling her. Of course, he hadn't spent much time telling about how they had died. He had vaguely mentioned a war, and Buffy hadn't been morbid enough to ask for more information. Instead his voice had run on, telling inconsequential stories about their time together. But, even when the stories were funny, and even when Harry laughed, there was an expression of sadness on his face. His voice filled with such loss. To Buffy, it felt completely alien. Not that Buffy was a stranger to death, no Slayer could be, but she'd never lost anyone she loved before.

Buffy's mind flickered over those that she had buried in her life. Miss Calender had been first, and although she had liked the woman...she hadn't really known Jenny Calender. The dark-haired woman wasn't much more that one of the teachers at her school. Giles had been the one who had truly cared about her. And, Buffy had cared because Giles cared...but death still seemed separate from her.

Then there had been Angel, of course. She had killed him. And perhaps, that had made the difference. She hadn't really lost Angel, she had been the one to strike the final blow. Those months when she had run away, it hadn't been grief she was dealing with, it had been guilt. True self-loathing for what she had done. When she finally came to turns with the guilt, perhaps when she might have really mourned, Angel had returned.

Buffy let her head fall back as she thought about Angel, and with a jolt she realized she hadn't thought about him much lately. That couldn't be right. She loved Angel. She had given him everything. And he had left. She was broken hearted. Yes. Buffy closed her eyes. When she opened them she watched Harry's chest move in and out. It was odd how well this stranger fit into her life. He added a different component that had been missing. He was funny. Not in a Xander way...maybe it was a way only she got. The joking during patrol, others might think it silly but it meant a lot to her. Buffy leaned back on the couch, her own eyes closing.

Buffy awoke much later after her pillow had moved. Wait. Her pillow had moved? Buffy jerked awake, her face growing a tad red when she realized her position. She had fallen asleep, her head resting on Harry's shoulder, her arm still nestled in his.

"I-uh..." Buffy's voice trailed off.

"Well do I make a good pillow?" Harry asked impishly.

"Well...I don't know. You're a little lumpy," complained Buffy.

"Hey! Well at least I didn't drool on you," Harry declared, his eyebrows raised in mock offense.

"I don't drool," Buffy claimed as she quickly wiped her mouth self-consciously. Harry stood up and stretched.

"You want to spar?" Harry asked.

"Sure," Buffy agreed, jumping to her feet as well. Then she paused and looked downward. "Uh, actually I should change first," commented Buffy as she was still dressed in her pajamas. Harry eyed the Sushi print pants and nodded.

"Yeah, it is kinda hard to take you seriously in those," Harry said with a smirk. Buffy frowned.

"Hey! I'll have you know a Slayer is always intimidating," she growled in mock anger. Harry merely smiled. "I could still kick your ass," she argued with a slight grin.

"I'm all collywobbles," teased Harry. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I'll be right back," she stated ignoring Harry.

Buffy hurried up the stair and shut her door. She turned around and nearly leapt a mile when she noticed that her bed was occupied.

"Woah!" Buffy clutched her chest, she glared at the intruder. "Willow!" she said loudly, "gez are you trying to give me a heart attack. I came up here to change and you're..."

"Sorry," the red head appeased. She lifted her eyebrows. "I didn't think you scared that easily," she commented absently. "Of course perhaps you were distracted by a Brit boy who until a few minutes ago you were making all cuddly with on the sofa." Willow smiled at her blonde friend and wriggled her brows suggestively.

"Oh," Buffy said simply. "I guess you saw that huh..."

"Hence the hiding in your room until post-snuggling." Willow nodded.

"Willow," Buffy sighed. "Really, he just came early and we talked for a bit and then feel asleep, not snuggling," Buffy declared.

"I saw Buffy, there was some definite snugglege," argued Willow.

"Okay, well maybe some unconscious snuggling. But it wasn't what you think. He...we talked. And anyway I'm still in the post Angel period." Buffy said her words firmly, trying to convey the situation to her friend. Willow's forehead creased as she examined Buffy.

"Are you in serious denial land?" Willow asked.

"No, I...look I can be friends with a boy. Only friends," announced Buffy.

"I know...I've just never seen you cuddle with Xander," commented Willow. With a shake of her head Willow walked towards the door. It was obvious Buffy wasn't ready to talk about this now. She left the room, allowing Buffy to change.

Willow went down the stairs to find Harry waiting patiently in the entryway.

"Hello Willow," he greeted, not at all surprised by the girl's presence.

"Hi, Harry." She smiled at the young man. She could see why Buffy liked Harry, in many ways his darker quietness reminded her of how Angel was. Except, this guy had a pulse. A devious gleam caught in her eye as she looked at the British boy speculatively.

"Hey, Harry...you don't have any plans later? Do you?"

"No, why..." Harry's words trailed of as Willow shook her head and hummed. The stairs creaked and the red head made a race for the door, she mumbled something about Oz before hastily exiting.

Buffy came down the stairs just as Willow was leaving.

"Where'd she rush of to?" asked Buffy suspiciously

"She needed to talk to Oz," Harry explained. His own face looking slightly confused. Buffy decided not to question it. Really after Willow's pushy 'Harry interrogation' earlier, she was really feeling in a mood to release some energy, and some nice butt-kicking always did the job. She grinned ferally at Harry, who gulped. He really didn't like that look on her face.

"Ready for sparring," she asked innocently.

"Uh...yeah," Harry agreed hesitantly.

A hour or so later, a rather sore Harry lay on the ground glaring at Buffy, who was doing a victory dance around the yard. She turned and smiled at Harry, and continued her strutting dance. Harry glared more darkly. Buffy finally finished and sat down next to him.

"You are getting better," she commented. "I think you lasted a whole twenty minutes, even Giles can't do that and he's been training for years," she commented trying to bolster his ego. "Even if you can't beat me," teased Buffy. Harry growled.

"You do realize that if I went all out and used my magic I'd beat you in a minute right?" Harry questioned, a superior tone to his voice. Buffy's eyes narrowed.

"Ha! No way I'm the Slayer," she declared.

"Really," Harry raised his eyebrows. The challenge was written on his face.

"Yes," Buffy said her head nodded in acceptance. Harry jumped to his feet and Buffy followed suit. They stared at each other. Buffy readied herself in a battle stance. Rather than preparing himself for hand-to-hand combat, Harry flicked his wrist and readied his wand. Buffy smirked, all she had to do was get rid of that piece of wood, no problem for a slayer.

Buffy moved in to attack. Harry couldn't help but grin. Getting closer to your opponent worked in hand-to-hand battles, or even those with knives or swords. But when wands were involved, it was like moving closer to a gun.

Buffy made a grab for his wand, but Harry avoided the move by bring his wand arm close to his chest and using his other hand to send an uppercut to Buffy's jaw. She was forced to raise her hands to block his hit. While she was occupied, Harry twisted his wrist so that his hand was in her general direction. She was so close he didn't have to aim.

"Pertificus totalus," Harry whispered. Buffy's eyes widened in surprise for a moment as the blue light flew from the wand that rested only a few inches from herself. Buffy tried to spin to move, but she was too close. The light hit her in the side.

Buffy felt her muscles tense up and become locked in place. She felt a small amount of panic. She'd never lost control of her body like this before, she was completely paralyzed. With a jolt, she realized that her earlier motion had her spinning towards the ground. If she'd been able to close her eyes she would have. As she couldn't, Buffy strained frantically against the spell that bound her.

Harry silently cast a levitation charm to stop Buffy from falling to the ground. He raised her up and quirked his eyebrows.

"Well, Buffy you were right. You didn't last a minute." Harry coughed the words"less than a minute." Judging by how Buffy's eyes were flashing, He figured it was a good thing she was still in the body bind. Deciding to have a little fun with the air-bourne Slayer, Harry proceeded to dance around her in a good imitation of the victory celebration she had done earlier. Harry was just at the portion where Buffy had done some sort of butt wiggle when a small cough made him freeze. Harry cautiously turned around to see an amused Willow and Oz staring at the pair of them.

"Eh...hey Willow, Oz," Harry greeted. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "How long have you two been there?" he questioned.

"Long enough," Willow said with a large grin on her face. Harry groaned and turned to face Buffy. The body-bind had eased a bit, and her facial features seemed to a mix between her earlier frozen surprise, and amusement at his discomfort. It made for an interesting look. Harry pointed his wand at Buffy and released the body-bind. She still floated a foot off the ground.

"Harry Potter, you put me down," she demanded. Harry gulped.

"Not until you promise not to hurt me," Harry said. Buffy blinked at him her features softening.

"I'd never hurt you," she said gently. Harry gave her an appraising look.

"That's not a promise," He pointed out. Buffy frowned at him.

"Fine, I won't hurt you," she said petulantly.

"Promise," Harry demanded.

"I promise," she growled. Harry waved his wand and she slowly floated to the ground. Although she had promised, Buffy was seriously considering giving Harry a smack for that annoying victory dance. She hadn't looked like that when she'd done it, right? Willow sensing her friends ire, rushed forward, Oz in tow.

"Hey," Willow's voice interrupted Buffy's glare. "You folks done with the fighting stuff," she asked.

"I don't know, I think I'd like to spar with Harry hand-to-hand a little more," Buffy said with a fiendish grin.

"We're done," Harry said firmly. Buffy pouted.

"Well good. Oz and I," here Oz coughed and Willow bit her lip, "Well, actually I was thinking it would be fun to go out and do something. Show Harry Sunnydale. You know the living part, not just the cemeteries," Willow stated. Buffy nodded. She felt a little guilty not thinking of it herself. The kid could use some fun.

"Sounds good, but what can we show him...not much to do..." Buffy trailed off as she spotted Willow's bright face and waving hands.

"We can go Putt-putt," Willow said excitedly.

"Putt-putt?" Harry asked confusedly.

"It's like a game of golf, but without hitting the ball far and with amusing things blocking the hole and there is an ice cream stand, and--" Willow would have probably continued rambling on about the joys of Putt-putt golf if Harry hadn't nodded in acceptance.

"Yeah!" the red-head cheered. Oz gave her an amused look. And Buffy nodded as well. She hadn't been putt-puttting in a long time. "Oz even said he'd drive," Willow said happily.

As the four walked to the front of the house, where Oz's wild van was parked in the driveway, a cunning look crossed Willow's face.

"It can be a double date," she said slyly.

Harry and Buffy stopped dead in their tracks...double date?

It was a rather uncomfortable and silent drive on the way to the putt-putt golf course. Oz busied himself by driving, while Willow rode in the front passenger's seat and tried to ignore the death glare Buffy was aiming at her. Harry sat stiffly staring out the window, trying desperately not to seem like an idiot.

Okay, he'd admit it...although perhaps not to loudly...but, Harry had never been in a relationship before. Really the closest thing he could even compare to a relationship was the crush he'd had on Cho Chang his fourth year. Harry groaned thinking of his silly infatuation. After fourth year, Harry's life had been dedicated to his training. In fifth year, the pretty oriental girl had even seemed interested in a relationship with him...but... Hell, there had been a war on, and he had been busy training and fighting, and trying not to die. Couldn't a guy be too busy to date? He was pretty sure he qualified. Anyway, being Harry Potter's girlfriend was too dangerous a proposition for any girl.

Not that there hadn't been offers. Harry consoled himself with that. There had been many girls who had tried to capture The-Boy-Who-Lived's heart. And, there had been a few who had wanted just Harry's too. But, Harry had always been too busy to even consider anyone...and he didn't think he'd be able to stand the guilt if one of them were targeted because of him. He had worried about Ron and Hermione enough. Harry sighed he had a desperate urge to bash his head against the window. He decided not to do so, as it would most likely draw the attention of the entire car.

Harry chanced a quick glance at Buffy. She was pretty. Gosh that sounded terribly juvenile, calling a girl pretty. Harry shook his head. But, Buffy didn't seem happy about their current scenario either. She stared steadily at Willow, a truly frightening glare on her face. He wasn't that bad, Harry thought. Hermione had even mentioned once, blushing terribly at the time, that Harry was 'decent looking'. Harry held Hermione's opinion in high regard, and had taken her words to heart. So, he wasn't hideous. But, perhaps there were different scales, he thought worridly. Hermione had seen old snake-face himself, perhaps her perception of hideousness was slightly askew.

Bam. Without thinking, Harry bashed his head against the window. As he had predicted, everyone in the car turned to stare at him. That's right, Harry Potter the most powerful wizard in England was never going to have a girlfriend.

Bam. Harry bashed his head again. This time no one turned, but the girls did raise their eyebrows curiously.

Everyone was rather relived when they arrived and were able to escape Oz's van. Buffy crossed her arms, and Harry rubbed his palms against his slacks. Oz seemed largely unaware of the oppressive tension and was examining the crowded parking lot. Willow danced about nervously next to Oz eyeing the 'couple' beside her.

"Willow and I need to use the bathroom," Buffy declared firmly. Harry wondered vaguely how Buffy could know that Willow needed to use the bathroom, but decided not to mention it. Buffy had grabbed the reluctant red-head's arm and was dragging her towards a building.

"Oz, get clubs, then we can't leave!" Willow called back to her boyfriend. Oz nodded his head amicably and turned in the other direction. Harry followed the shorter man, turning to watch as Buffy dragged her friend into a restroom.

Harry and Oz were soon the proud renters of a pair of 'putters'. Oz had chosen a blue handled golf club and corresponding ball for himself, and a matching red pair for Willow. Harry had followed suit and rented himself and Buffy clubs, a green one for himself and he had chosen pink for Buffy as she seemed to like the color. The two men now stood awkwardly waiting for the females to return. Harry already nervous about the entire situation, felt as if the silence was deafening.

"So, how long have you been a werewolf?" Harry asked out of desperation. He winced slightly at his tactlessness.

"Uh..." Oz's expression flickered for a moment as he surveyed the young man before him. "Little over a year," Oz answered.

"Ouch," Harry hissed sympathetically. "A friend of mine says the first two years are the worst." Oz's lips narrowed slightly. He rarely spoke about the pain the transformation caused him. Not even with Willow. He knew it was difficult for her to see him that way, he didn't want her to know about the pain involved.

"She doesn't know," Oz said softly. Harry tilted his head. "I mean she knows I'm a wolf...but she doesn't know it hurts. I'd appreciate if you didn't tell her." Harry nodded, no need to ask who 'her' was. Oz had a strong devotion to the little wicca.

"I know of a potion that helps, if you like I could brew it for you," Harry added seriously. Oz's eyes opened wide and he turned to the young wizard, his face clearly expressing his interest. Harry nodded his head. "Full moon is in a little over a week right?" Harry asked. Oz nodded. The pair stood in silence for a moment while Harry thought about what ingredients he would need for the potion, as well as how long it took to brew. He believed he had enough time to provide a batch before this full moon.

When Harry looked up again, he spotted a less murderous looking Buffy and a slightly repentant Willow. He had the impression that their foray into the loo had been a cover for a more serious conversation. Harry swallowed nervously as they approached.

"Uh...ready to golf?" a subdued Willow asked. Harry offered her a grin and handed Buffy the club and a ball. The foursome entered the course, the awkwardness still somewhat apparent.

A few holes later, Harry determined that he was probably the worst putt-putt golfer in the state, if not the world. He couldn't understand why he was so bad at this. He had good eye-hand coordination. His spell casting was spot on, always hitting whatever he aimed at. Maybe it was the setting he found so jarring. The course was crowded with teenagers and families, loud noises and laughing were prevalent. Not to mention that each hole had obstacles. When a large clown had jumped out on the third hole, Harry had been an inch away from hexing it. Harry couldn't stop himself from scanning the area, assessing dangers. Harry clenched his club in annoyance, he hated seeing how the war had left its marks on him.

Or maybe it was the company.

"Hey, it's your turn," called Buffy. So, she was speaking to him again, Harry thought to himself.

"Okay," he said with an unhappy tone.

"You're pretty bad at this huh," Buffy commented. Harry shrugged. Buffy tugged at her hair a little uncomfortably. She was starting to feel guilty about ignoring Harry. She'd just been upset with Willow, and she really didn't want this to be a date. Making this outing into a date seemed to make everything else with Harry so much more confusing. Him being a friend was comforting and easy, the possibility of more was...could a Slayer be terrified?

Buffy noticed that Oz and Willow had moved along to the next hole. The motion was no doubt strategic on Willow's part.

"Hey, what do you say we ditch the golfing and skip straight to ice cream," Buffy suggested mischievously. Harry raised an eyebrow and smiled.

"Sure." Both Harry and Buffy snuck a glance at Willow and Oz before ducking to the left and heading for the small ice cream stand across the street. Its bright umbrellas reminded him slightly of Florean Fortescue's, at least before it's owner had been killed by Deatheaters. Harry took a seat on one of the red benches while Buffy hurried to the counter with their orders. She had demanded he let her 'treat' him, as he had already paid for the golf. If it was a date, wasn't he supposed to pay for everything? That was what a gentlemen did right? Or was that old fashioned? It was entirely too confusing. And, Buffy didn't seem to want this to be a date...did he? Harry decided to just give into the uncomfortable confusion he was in. No wonder he had stayed away from dating during the war. It was entirely perplexing, nothing could be worth this.

"Hey," Buffy sat down opposite him and handed Harry the chocolate ice cream he had requested. Harry stared at the dessert dourly. Buffy rubbed her head. "Look I'm sorry about all this," Buffy apologized looking down at her own orange sherbert.

"What?" Harry asked, honestly confused about why she could be guilty of.

"This whole...dating thing." Buffy cringed at her own words. Harry rubbed his forehead.

"It's not your fault," Harry said kindly. His green eyes met hers before quickly shifting back to his ice cream. "I'm not good at this sort of thing," Harry confessed. Buffy tilted her head.

"What?" she asked getting confused.

"I mean, I know I'm probably not what..." Harry took a large bite of his ice cream self-consciously. Buffy's eyes widened as she caught on to the insecurity in Harry's voice. It was a side she hadn't seen of the powerful wizard. Yet as she thought about, Harry had been rather nervous shopping as well, it simply hadn't been as obvious. She pondered for a moment what kind of childhood Harry had been given where he was more comfortable fighting vampires than he was going to the mall. Sensing how difficult this was for her friend, Buffy swallowed her own nervousness and smiled at the wizard.

"No Harry, it's not you...gez that sounds like a cheesy brush off line, but really. I'm just a little upset with Willow. She was doing what she thought would help me...see," Buffy cringed. She really didn't want to go into the whole Angel story...but as she was watched the rather anxious young man across from her, she made her decision "I kinda just ended a relationship. Or rather he ended it." Harry looked up sympathetically.

"Why?" Harry asked. Buffy couldn't help but grin at the incredulousness in Harry's voice. She had to admit she had been thinking some bad things about herself after Angel left, and to see that Harry couldn't believe anyone would dump her was confidence building.

"I well, he was a vampire," Harry's eyes widened at that but he remained silent. "He had a soul," she assured him. "And he helped me fight. Not that things were always good, he went evil for a bit," Buffy paused. She couldn't help laughing at the confused look on Harry's face.

"I know it sounds so terribly messy and complicated. But he left after graduation, something about wanting me to have a life, and him not being able to stay around and...sometimes I'm not sure. But Willow likes you, and she hoped that you'd help me get over him," she explained. Harry nodded thoughtfully. Buffy took a spoonful of her melting sherbert.

"But you're not ready," Harry said. Her eyes met his and she nodded softly, then with a confused face shook her head.

"I don't know really. It's all wrapped up and confusing. A few weeks ago I thought I'd die without him...but I'm still here. I mean I miss him in a way, but at the same time I'm not thinking about him as much." Buffy's words were muffled in thought. Harry didn't know if he could relate, never having had such a close relationship, but in other ways he understood where she was coming from. He cleared his throat and spoke his next words with a hint of gruffness in his voice.

"It's like when my friends...when they died." Harry stared down at his ice cream reluctant to meet Buffy's eyes. "At first I couldn't imagine them not being here. And a lot of times I still feel like that. Sometimes, something makes me remember them, and it feels like it just happened. But other times, it doesn't hurt as much, and I feel like I'm okay again." Buffy looked up, her head nodding.

"I...I know it's terrible thinking it's the same...Angel leaving and you losing your friends...but that's how it feels. Do, do you ever feel guilty. Like you shouldn't be happy?" Buffy asked. The question had been bothering her lately. She'd loved Angel so much, when they were together she had been positive he was her true love, and now...shouldn't she be sobbing in her room to country music, or something else as cliché.

"Yeah," Harry nodded. "I think I should be lost, I should be...I don't know. I feel guilty sometimes when I do something I know they would have enjoyed, or we would have done together. But someone told me that they wouldn't want that. At first I didn't believe it. I mean it's sort of a phrase people tell you when someone you care about dies. But, then they asked me what I would have wanted for them if I had died...I'd want them to be happy." Harry shrugged as if embarrassed for his long rambling speech. Buffy's mouth opened slightly. Harry glanced up at her. He cringed when he saw the sappy look on her face.

"That's so..." Buffy's voice trailed off as she smiled slightly. Harry was so right, he was right about so many things.

"Oh, gez, I think I'm going to have to do something terribly macho now to make up for that scene," Harry groaned.

"No, that was..."

"If you say sweet, understanding or heart felt I'll be forced to disavow any knowledge of this conversation, and claim that we spent the last few minutes discussing quidditch," vowed Harry, eyeing the blonde seriously.

"No really, I think that was a very...mature thing to say. And it really helped." Buffy stated her eyes still a little moist. Harry groaned.

"I blame those girly movies you made me watch, you've corrupted me," alleged Harry. He finished off his ice cream sending a glare in her direction.

"I prefer to think of it as education, guys can learn a lot from chick flicks," declared Buffy. Harry rolled his eyes.

"We're friends, right Harry?" Buffy asked, wanting to make sure this date and conversation hadn't interfered with their prior relationship.

"Yeah," Harry said with a smile.

"Good, now we just have to figure out what Giles's problem is and the world will be a better place," Buffy stated. Harry sighed.

"Its not a problem...I'm used to it. It's actually a rather repetitive story," Harry said, his tone an attempt at indifference. Buffy narrowed her eyes at Harry's dismissal.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked her voice trying to mimic Harry's. She wondered if she should really press the issue, perhaps one serious conversation was enough for today.

"Just, the Harry Potter habit. I'm always foolish enough to figure that just because someone shares my blood means that they want anything to do with me. You'd think I'd learn from the Dursleys...never mind." Harry shrugged.

"No, Harry you're wrong," Buffy argued ignoring her previous thought of letting the matter drop. "I know Giles has been...off, but I think he really does care. He's just..." Buffy frowned. "I don't really know. But I have known Giles for three years now, and he's stood by me and fought with me and for me and well...I think he might be afraid."

"Afraid?" Harry asked, his voice confused.

"Just promise me you'll give him one more chance okay?" Buffy's voice was nervous. She knew Giles might not really deserve another chance with his nephew...but Buffy had a feeling that Harry needed his Uncle. As long as Giles didn't gunk it up anymore. Harry frowned slightly. His forehead crinkled. He really didn't want to risk anything on his Uncle. He couldn't ignore the fact that many of his emotional and magical issues stemmed from arguments with Rupert Giles. He'd be safer to give up on the stuffy Watcher. But, Buffy had asked. She had asked no nicely, and had seemed so desperate.

"Okay, one more chance...Buffy..." Harry's voice trailed away and Buffy could see the worry in his eyes.

Little did Buffy Summers know, it wasn't Rupert Giles that worried Harry. Rather, it was Harry himself. For all their talk about good and evil, Harry Potter still feared he was walking a line. By opening himself up to more turmoil, Harry worried he might slip. There was something in the air of Sunnydale. Something that made Harry feel like he was playing with fire.

Buffy slipped the zip-up sweatshirt over her shoulder. In her pocket were a few stakes, but it was still daylight. She had a few things to do before her patrol tonight.

"Bye Mom, I'm heading over to Giles," Buffy called to her mother.

"Are you going to be patrolling right after?" Joyce asked.

"I think so," Buffy agreed. Joyce nodded her head, the same look that Joyce had gotten ever since she'd found out her daughter was a Slayer, graced her face. It was a mixture of emotions, but in general it was rather somber. Buffy knew her Mom worried so she gave her a small hug before leaving.

"Is Harry going with you?" Joyce inquired.

"Probably," Buffy said thoughtfully.

"Good," Joyce approved, "I feel better knowing you have someone to help you. And, Harry is such a nice young man." Buffy gave her mother a questioning glance. Joyce merely smiled at her daughter. Buffy shrugged and stepped outside.

The walk to Giles's flat wasn't far. It had been one of the reasons Giles had chosen the place. And, the closeness did come in handy. Buffy needed to have a talk with her Watcher. What she was about to do probably interfered a little more into his personal life than she usually did, but it had to be done. Earlier Buffy had gotten Harry to agree to give her wayward Watcher a second chance. And, she wanted to make sure that he didn't waste it.

After their ice cream Buffy and Harry had spilt company, Buffy had returned home and Harry had gone back to the motel room he had used the other night. Buffy had convinced him to find a little more reputable establishment, and Harry was currently moving to a small hotel downtown that she had recommended. They had made plans to meet as Giles's place at eight. It was nearly seven now, which guaranteed Buffy an hour to try and set Giles straight. She knew Giles liked Harry. He had been so worried the other night when he'd thought Harry had been hurt. He wouldn't have reacted like that if he didn't care. She just had to figure out why he was being such an as-...jerk. Buffy squared her shoulders as she walked. This wasn't going to be easy. She wasn't exactly an emotion expert. She usually didn't know what even she was feeling until it jumped out at her. Miss Touchy-feely she was not. But, Giles had helped her figure out her own muddled emotions often enough, now it was time for her to do the same for him.

Buffy entered Giles's home without knocking, and spotted her watcher not surrounded by books which had been usual for the last week. Instead the man was slouching on his sofa, a hazy frown on his face. Buffy bit her lip when she noticed the open bottle of scotch on the counter.

"Giles?" she asked softly. The man lifted his eyebrows at the blonde that had appeared before him. He raised his hand to his forehead and rubbed it.

"Buffy, I take it you noticed his things are gone. Disappeared." Giles waved his fingers like a magician would. Buffy looked at the foot of the couch and noticed Harry's trunk was missing from its usual place. She quirked her head wondering how Harry might have come in and gotten it without Giles noticing. Her watcher must have noticed the look on her face.

"No doubt some charm or such, calling the objects to his person, wish I could do that," he explained. Giles took a sip of the amber liquid in the glass before him. Buffy frowned and reached forward taking the glass from his hand.

"You don't need anymore of that," she said firmly taking his glass to the sink and dumping the contents. Giles leaned his head back and watched her.

"Why not, a man can mourn his mistakes, can't he, can't I?" Giles's voice was scratchy.

"Look Giles..." Buffy sighed, she hadn't counted on dealing with a gloomy Giles. "Harry isn't gone. He came to see me this morning. He's fine and I asked him to give you another chance, so he's coming at eight." Giles turned a blurry eye in her direction.

"He went to see you," he said softly in a strained voice. Buffy nodded.

"Yeah, he wanted to apologize for ditching me the other night," Buffy turned reflective, "It was kinda silly really how worried he was about it."

Giles stared at his hands forlornly. He was tempted to complain that Harry hadn't come to see him, but he hadn't consumed enough alcohol for him to give into immature whining. Instead he just sat sullenly. Buffy seemed to pick up on his train of thought.

"Hey, it isn't his fault he wanted to see me, Mr. Grumpy," Buffy said vehemently. Giles nodded his head. "Now look this is your second chance to be a better Uncle. First off, remember Harry is good at fighting. He doesn't like books. He isn't a Gilesy Giles. Second, Harry's had a tough life. His parents are dead, his friends are dead and his relatives are jerks, so far that includes you." Giles's head shot up at Buffy last comment.

"I'm not...what do you mean his relatives are jerks?" Giles asked, he sat up a little straighter and eyed Buffy a little fear and worry clouding his face.

"Well, he doesn't like to talk about it much but from the little things...well they were mean to him. Your sister didn't want him because he was different. Those ratty clothes were all they gave him, and they used to belong to his cousin!" Buffy's voice was angry as she spoke. It was slightly funny how Harry's clothing seemed to upset her the most. However, Giles nodded his head. It all seemed to fit his personality. And, it wasn't difficult for Giles to imagine Petunia mistreating a magical child. She'd hated Lily. Giles rubbed his forehead wearily. Buffy was wrong, this wasn't his second chance at being an Uncle, it was his third.

"When's he coming?" Giles muttered softly.

"In about a half hour now," supplied Buffy. She sniffed the air speculatively. "And he really shouldn't find a smelly Watcher in a living room that smells like a bar. Scoot upstairs and tidy up and I'll open some windows," the slayer said. Giles nodded and stood from his couch woozily. The living room spun for a moment and Giles waited for it to settle before he headed to the stairs. He paused.

"Buffy...why are you doing this?" Giles's voice wasn't malicious, merely curious. He seemed to be evaluating his slayer as he watched her. Buffy shrugged.

"I...I think you need him," her voice was quiet. Giles lowered his head. Was his need for family connection that transparent? He looked up when Buffy's voice spoke again.

"And, I think he needs you too. He seems so alone, don't screw this up." The way Buffy phrased her words might have been insulting, but her face was so open and serious. Certainly not the Buffy Giles was used to dealing with. His jaw grew firm as he nodded.

Buffy did as she had promised. The windows were opened and she cleared any trace of alcohol from the room. She plopped down on the couch and listened to the sound of the water running upstairs and Giles stumbling around. It had grown rather quiet up there when she heard a soft knock on the door. Buffy moved forward and found Harry standing on the stoop. He still seemed to be a little nervous. She smiled at him warmly and he seemed pleased to see her there. Something tensed in her stomach when she saw that nervous smile of his.

"Hey," he greeted. She nodded. She returned to the couch and collapsed back onto it with her usual grace. Harry sat beside her.

"Buffy?" a voice called from upstairs.

"Harry's here Giles," Buffy called. At her words, said young man rose to his feet. He began to pace slightly, but stopped when Giles appeared. The older man stood silently at the foot of the stairs, his hair still damp from the shower he had taken to clear his head. Buffy's eyes flickered between the pair of them.

"Well, I'm going to take a quick patrol, leave you two alone. Umm...I'll be in the cemetery off of Kings street, if you need me. If I don't see you I'll swing by later..kay?" she said. Harry nodded grimly. He really didn't want her to leave. But, he couldn't have Buffy there to hold his hand through this. Give Harry a good fight any day. He was shite with this emotional argument junk. Buffy nodded again to the two men before crossing to the door and exiting.

For a moment both men stood uncertainly. Then, Giles shook his head and approached his nephew.

"I'm sorry Harry," Giles stammered. It was a sadly short pile of words to try and say what he wanted too. He only hoped it might be enough. Harry shrugged and sat back on the sofa, his back hunched.

"I understand," Harry stated, his voice slightly hollow.

"You do?" Giles asked, slightly confused by the boy's lack of response.

"Look, I'm used to it. Not being wanted. I just wish you would have said something, I told you the first day I'd find somewhere else to stay." Harry's voice was steady.

"No, that's not it," Giles alleged, he took another step towards his nephew. He clenched his fingers trying to explain.

"Don't I?" Harry's head shot up as he sent a challenging glare towards his Uncle. "I'm not stupid, it should be a bloody musical by now. The picture it clear, the Dursley's made sure of that." Harry swallowed the anger away, trying to remain as calm as he could. The magic was already simmering inside him, but he vindictively shoved it back down.

"The Dursley's are a load of tripe. Petunia always was, I have no doubt she's changed very little over the years." Giles's vehemence shocked Harry enough to look up. He stared at Giles who fidgeted slightly. Those bright green eyes looked liked they could read your soul. They seemed more alight than Lily or his mother's ever had. He turned away and seemed to be struggling not to say something. He shook his head.

"Like you're any better," Harry whispered. A small breeze seemed to blow through the room, and it had nothing to do with the open windows. Giles blanched at the boy's words. He had a point. Who was he to ridicule the Dursely's. He hadn't done anything for the boy.

"Look, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you before, when you were little...I should have--"

"No," Harry spoke interrupting Giles's words. "That's okay. I understand. You had a destiny. A Path. Something you couldn't escape. I get that. I'm not upset about that. I just...I don't want to be treated like that again. I won't!" Harry's words cut through the chilled air. Giles shivered and watched as the papers on his table stirred, but he ignored that as he focused on Harry.

"How did they treat you?" he asked. His voice was filled with an anxiety, and he wondered if he really wanted to know. Harry cringed at Giles words, in flash he had jumped to his feet and began pacing.

"I was their bloody slave! I cooked, I cleaned. And magic, I was punished for it before I even knew what it was. If I was lucky they pretended I didn't exist. They acted like I wasn't there, I didn't matter." Harry's words were accompanied by the table rattling, but as soon as he stopped he took a deep breath and the movement stopped. Giles hadn't even noticed the magical discharge, rather he winced as he heard Harry's words. It was certainly not the childhood he would have wanted for Lily's son. But, what caused him the most pain, was realizing how his own actions of late had mimicked Petunia's.

"I'm sorry--" Giles started, but his words were cut off by Harry. The young man waved his arm, brushing Giles's words aside.

"Stop apologizing, you did the same thing." Giles sighed in defeat. Harry turned his back on his Uncle and stared at the room he was in as if he had never seen it before. "What is it, what is it about me that makes people act like that. I don't understand." Giles could have kicked himself as he listened to the strength in his nephew's voice. How could a person say that, believe that so assuredly. He didn't say it in complaint, or even anger, his tone was only of confusion. It must have taken a great deal of strength to hide the hurt in those words.

"I didn't...I didn't do that because of anything about you Harry," Giles said, embarrassment clouding his words. Harry turned to his Uncle and looked at him speculatively.

"Then why?" Harry's eyes were like emerald chips and Giles found himself saying something he hadn't even known was true, but as soon as he said the words, he knew it was.

"I wanted to protect you," he blurted. Giles paused. Yes, he hadn't wanted to get close to his nephew for fear of bringing the boy danger. "I...you have to understand Harry. Well, the life I've chosen, well, it isn't a safe one. Anyone connected to the Slayer is at risk, there aren't many happy endings for Slayer or Watcher. I wanted to protect you from that. I thought if we didn't connect, you would go home and be safe." Giles tasted the words as he spoke them. He had sputtered a bit at first, but now that he'd said them he knew they were honest. He glanced up nervously at his nephew, hoping the young man would believe him. What he saw surprised him.

"Hha..." Harry chuckled, he bent his head back and laughed. It wasn't a particularly happy laugh, but he couldn't help but find the irony funny. "So this is what if feels like, no wonder they were so pissed with me."

"What?" queried Giles, this wasn't the reaction he had expected.

"I've stood where you're standing," Harry stated. "I tried to push my friends away. I thought they would be safer away from me. They reacted as I did, upset. Hermione even slapped me. Never seen her hit anyone except Malfoy. At the time I couldn't understand why they were mad. Didn't they understand that I was protecting them? I was doing it for them. Now I know why they were so mad, this sucks. And, it doesn't help anyone." Harry shook his head. His eyes flicked back to his Uncle, all the humor gone from his face.

"I can take care of myself Uncle Rupert," Harry said firmly. And, in that moment Giles had no doubt that Buffy was right. Harry was a fighter.

"So Buffy has been telling me. She rather drilled it into my skull actually." Giles shrugged as he spoke and Harry smiled.

"I imagine she enjoyed that," commented Harry.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Giles replied dryly. His face turned serious as he turned back to Harry. "I know very little about you," Giles said a little sadly. Harry swallowed.

"Maybe that's better," he muttered darkly. "Judge me on what you see. Any other way never seems to be as honest. And, there are things in my past...well things I'm not quite proud off." Harry sighed as he spoke, and his face seemed weary.

"There is a darkness in everyone's past," stated Giles. His eyes were far away as he recalled his own mistakes, his own darkness.

"That's just it. I'm not supposed to have any. I'm supposed to be the perfect Light wizard. But every time I try, it always seems like bad things happen that require me to do things...things I regret. Things no one should have to do." Harry's voice became weaker and weaker as he spoke, he seemed to be speaking more to himself than Giles. "I guess I'm only human," Harry said. Giles noted that Harry seemed disappointed as he said it.

"That's all any of us can be." Harry remained silent as his Uncle's words washed over him. After all the expectation placed on him by friend and stranger alike, it was a comforting phrase. He was only human, filled with flaws and virtues. He was only human, and that was all he could be.

Giles nodded as he saw Harry let the words soak in. The young man seemed a little lighter by his words. Raising a hand to his mouth, he rubbed his lips with his knuckles.

"I guess I better go help Buffy...if...well, if we're okay." Giles nodded to the young man.

"I think we might be Harry, I think we might be."

The King Street graveyard was the one closest to Giles's house. It was also the once closest to hers, which usually meant reduced activity. What vampire would be fool enough to live right by a Slayer? Although, with the way the way vampires and demons had been acting lately, it wouldn't surprise Buffy if some cocky vampire group decided to set up shop right in her own back yard. But, so far the graveyard was as silent as usual. Buffy glanced at the becoming silver watch she wore on her wrist. She'd been gone for a half hour, probably not long enough for Harry and Giles to be done. She felt more than a little bored. She really wasn't fond of patrolling alone. Even if was just Willow of Xander's friendly company, it was enough to make the time go faster. Harry could be even more amusing at times. He joked about the strangest things. He was often funny when he didn't mean to be, which was even more hilarious. She sincerely hoped that Giles and Harry figured out whatever problem they had. She liked them both, and she didn't want to loose Harry. Indeed the idea of Harry leaving seemed like a terrible thing. Which was unusual for their short acquaintance. She puzzled over this thought for a moment. Maybe it was because he seemed to understand her so well. Maybe it was because on the way he listened. He'd been so cute trying to sympathize with her today at the ice cream parlor. She knew it had cost him a few guy points, but he had let down his guard. It meant a lot.

Buffy brushed her fingers through her blonde hair. She really should stop thinking about Harry. Hmmm, what else could she think about. Her mind drew a blank. Well, was it really her fault? Harry had been the most interesting thing to happen to her this summer. It wasn't everyday that the Slayer met a new friend and new ally.

"Hmm, the Slayer," a soft voice said to her left. She whipped around focusing on the shadows of an oak tree. A man stood leaning against the bark, his eyes were the only thing that caught the light and they glittered.

"I smelled your power and had to come and meet you. I have heard so many things." The man stepped forward and as Buffy examined him she paused. She had been readying her stake, but as he had entered the moonlight, she had recognized him for what he was...a human. Of course, he was one of the strangest humans she had seen. His accent was British, that she could place. But the rest of him was definitely odd. He was dressed in what appeared to be long, black robe, indeed it looked very much like a dress. His hair was long as well, tied back in pony-tail. His face was thin, and rather pale. His dark eyes still twinkled at her. He was 'relatively young'. That was a phrase she used to describe people who were adult but perhaps younger than her mother. His body was slender and although she couldn't tell much because of the dress, he seemed strong. She tensed slightly but didn't draw her stake. He was, after all, human.

"Yeah, and who might you be? Some cross-dressing vampire wanna be?" she asked tartly. A snide look appeared on the man's face, but it lasted only a moment and was replaced by a disarming smile. The expression seemed out of place on the man's cold face. Buffy tensed, she didn't know what it was but she sensed something not right about this man.

"Hmm, my clothing would be unusual to you, being a muggle. But I wasn't told how witty you are."

"Muggle? Wait, are you one of Harry's friends?" Buffy asked unsurely. Somehow she doubted it, this man seemed to exude coldness as much as Harry did warmth.

"In a sense, I first met him when he was thirteen, but I've known about him much longer. Who doesn't know about the legendary Harry Potter?" Buffy cringed slightly. There was something about the way he said Harry's name. His tone was genial...but Buffy had the strangest feeling that he usually said Harry's name quite differently.

"Oh," was all she said. The man smiled wider, all his teeth and gums showing. There was something wrong with that smile.

"I must say Miss Summers, I hadn't expected you to be so lovely." His voice seemed to slide over her skin, making her feel dirty. He licked his lips for a moment before returning to the same smile. "I'm told Miss Summers that a Vampire Slayer is a hero. A protector of the innocent, is that true?" his voice was innocuous, as if her were merely collecting information. But his eyes, they seemed to gleam with some kind of hunger.

"Uh, yeah..." Buffy's voice trailed off as the man's smile became less forced.

"I must say Miss Summers, I have a particular fondness for heros..." Buffy tensed. Had this been any other man she might have thought he was flirting with her...but his voice seemed to be suggesting something else. And his eyes, they seemed to glow madly.

"Uh...okay..." Buffy's words trailed away. She had a really bad feeling about this now and was about to turn away when the man spoke again.

"Yes, I truly do. Crucio." The strange words left the man's mouth, and it seemed as if something invisible flew through the air. But, Buffy didn't have long to wonder what it was, an instant later she fell to the ground all her muscles shaking in pain. She yelled out at the sudden pain that seemed to flair from every nerve in her body. She'd never felt anything like this before. Then, as soon as it had come, it was gone. Buffy rolled into a crouched position trying to catch her breath.

"No, no, no. Truly embarrassing Miss Summers. A hero must never give into the pain so easily. I see the reputation of the Slayer really has been exaggerated." Buffy growled in anger. Human or not she was going to beat this little twit black and blue. Buffy jumped into the air, ignoring the pain that still ached in her body. Countering her actions quite smoothly, the man took a step back.

"Crucio," his voice repeated. Buffy fell to the ground as once again the pain engulfed her. This time she held her screams to her. She wouldn't be mocked. Yet, the pain was so much. She felt like she was swamped in pain. Nothing made sense. She couldn't even feel the cool ground beneath her. All was pain. Soon her vow to 'not scream' faded away under the pressure of this never ending pain.

"Much better Miss Summers." A cold voice broke through her mind. The pain was gone she realized, yet her body still trembled. "I believe Harry lasted longer...but than he was used to this. He knew what it was. But, still impressive. Particularly for a muggle." Buffy blinked. Her thoughts were starting to be more organized. This man was a wizard, which meant he had a wand, if only she could get near enough to take it away. Buffy once again pulled herself from the ground. She heard a laugh as she struggled. Raising her head subtly she took in the man before her. His hands rested by his hips, his wand must be there. If only she could...

"Crucio" the voice said once again.

Buffy fell on her back this time. Her eyes rolled around in her head, but she couldn't close them. Amid all the pain she watched in growing anger as the man before her laughed. Yet, her body couldn't respond. She was forced to lie there as the pain wracked through her. And there was a loud noise nearby, so loud. It sounded like someone was screaming.

Then, from the left a dark shape darted and knocked the laughing man to the ground. The pain disappeared. Buffy's vision blurred in and out. The darkness closing in on her. She heard a loud pop, which made no sense, and then noticed a dark form standing over her. She trembled as the figure lifted her into its arms, cradling her gently. Yet, no matter how gentle the figure could be, its touch still brought sparks of pain that made her cringe.

"Buffy?" a male voice said, worry plain in its tone.

"Harry?" she managed to say in a hopeful tone. She felt the body under her tense.

"Who's Harry," the deep baritone asked.

"Angel?"

A/N: I hope that you'll excuse the lateness of this chapter. In an attempt to apologize, I've given you quite a longer chapter than usual. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review. I do try to contact those that I can. Also, if you are curious as to my progress in updating, I'm going to be posting my status on my profile page, feel free to check if you like. Smile.

I would in particular like to know what you thought of my more fluffy emotional scenes. Sigh, I'm afraid that for a girl I'm rather poor when it comes to writing romance. (Partly the reason this update took longer) Thus I'd appreciate any comments as they help. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not upset in the least about constructive criticism, or even the less constructive. Wink. Be brutal if you can, but most of all review. Even if you just say you liked it. It truly keeps me writing. I promise.

Love and kisses,

Della