Chapter 19: Everyone Has to Say Good-bye Sometime

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Harry was walking through the halls of Hogwarts. They seemed unnatural when they were this quiet. He was used to the loud clatter of his fellow students, the noise they made as they moved from class to class. Harry's steps were slow, he had no rush to go any where. And his mind was a little unsure. Something about his meeting with Dumbledore had set a gnawing feeling in his stomach. It took him a moment to recognize the aching of fear. It wasn't the kind of fear he was used to, not the life or death kind. Not the fear of knowing these moments might be your last. He'd had those. This was unsettling, hopeless kind of fear. He wanted to push it aside like he did so many emotions, but this one seemed to have planted itself in his gut.

And he didn't even know what he was afraid of.

There had been something off during that meeting. It had gone well, sure it had. Dumbledore had been understanding, he hadn't judged Harry's need to escape. For, what else was Harry's trip to Sunnydale but an escape. He wasn't ashamed to admit that he had needed it. But was it still just an escape? He'd met some real friends there. And friends were something to treasure.

Harry looked up slightly, surprised as a gust of warm wind blew at his hair. His feet had automatically lead him to the front gates it seemed. He turned and looked at the headmaster's tower office. Once again the strange fluttering of fear disturbed him, but he did his best to quash it as he walked through the gates. Harry didn't know what the future would hold. As a whole, he thought divination was a load of bunk. Still, he wished his life had a clearer path.

With a soft pop, Harry Potter disapparated, and arrived somewhere around the world.

-

Rupert Giles sat enjoying the silence.

Which was odd. A week ago he couldn't stand the emptiness his hours had been. Perhaps this was different because he was waiting for someone. Harry would be here soon. The quiet wasn't as oppressive when one knew that it would end.

Joyce, filled with maternal concern, had finally dictated that Willow should be taken to the hospital. Giles had agreed considering that the young wicca's injury wasn't exactly magical in nature. Ordinary doctors should have no trouble setting the arm back in its socket, although Giles didn't envy Joyce having to explain what "pain medication" Willow had taken. Buffy and Oz had followed them, leaving Xander fast asleep on the couch, and Angel sulking in Giles's basement.

That was a tad harsh, admitted Giles thinking about the vampire. Giles knew that Angel and Angelus were two different people, but they wore the same face. And, he'd never forget being tortured by the latter. Angel had seemed to pick up on Giles's discomfort and had decided to rest a bit in the basement. Giles hadn't argued. But it didn't matter, it wouldn't surprise the watcher if Angel managed to get out of town before they even noticed he was gone.

He sipped his tea, grateful that they had all made it through yet another adventure alive. He marveled slightly at his nephew. What would Lily have thought, knowing that her child was destined for such great things. He wondered if maybe she had known, and whether it would have mattered if she did. Lily had never cared about that sort of thing. She had always judged people on how they treated others. It had been one of her best qualities as far as Giles was concerned. Well, he imagined she'd have been proud of her son either way.

Still, Giles didn't envy Harry the rough road ahead. The light of hell. It was a prophecy without an end so to speak. The light of hell, will either burn the world or, he will act as a light amid darkness. A light amid darkness, was that the path Harry had chosen? Was that the path that Giles and Buffy had put him on? It was a life without a happily ever after, no home with children and chickens. Giles knew of such a life. He'd lived it. It could be a lonely existence. Especially if one lacked family and friends. Giles frowned, what sort of support did his nephew have?

Pop

Giles looked up somewhat startled to see Harry standing in his entranceway. The young man gave him a smile before practically collapsing in a chair opposite Giles.

"Did it go okay?" Giles asked. Harry had been gone for over two hours.

"Oh, yes. Macnair is about to enjoy a trial and then the Dementor's kiss. No more than what he deserves I suppose." Harry blinked his eyes tiredly. It had been a long night.

"Buffy and the others have taken Willow to the hospital to have her arm set."

"Mmhhm, that's good. I'm rubbish at healing charms." Harry muttered his eyes closed.

"You seem to manage decently," commented Giles. He watched in some amusement as Harry lay slouched, practically asleep.

"Oh I know a few. The nurse at Hogwarts said I might as well learn something with how often I came to see her."

"Accident prone were you?" Giles asked.

Harry shrugged. "I suppose you could call it that. If I wasn't in there from Quidditch, than I was recuperating from another adventure that nearly got me killed," Harry's voice smiled as he spoke. His breath became more regular as he lay sprawled in the living room. He'd been up for quite awhile by this point. The air seemed to be pressing down on him, his neck felt heavy. Harry rolled awkwardly onto his side. He was uncomfortable but too tired to move.

Giles leaned back, watching. Wondering yet again who was going to be there for his nephew.

-

Buffy flung the door open and stomped through Giles's flat. She and her mother had returned from taking Willow to the hospital. It had been an annoying ordeal. Lots of waiting for something that only took a few moments. The doctor had asked a few questions, but hadn't seemed to care much about the quality of the answers. Which was lucky, as they'd forgotten to agree upon how Willow had injured herself. The result had been both Buffy and her mother blurting out completely different incidents. Thankfully they lived in Sunnydale where most of the time the doctors just didn't want to know.

Buffy paused in her rather loud entrance when she examined the sight before her. Xander seemed to have forgotten he didn't live here and was sprawled across the couch, a somewhat nasal snore coming from him. Giles was by far the most dignified of the bunch, his head tilted back, eyes closed. Harry's own sleeping posture looked terribly uncomfortable, his neck bent at an odd angle. Buffy paused. She bit her lip as she watched Harry sleep. The peaceful rhythmic breathing. Once again, she was reminded of how young he was. Heck, how young all of them were. She bent her head to the side as she watched him. He was...cute. It seemed wrong to call him that, but he was.

The usually messy hair somehow messier. Those penetrating eyes hidden beneath eyelids. He probably didn't know he had eyelashes some girls would kill for. It was incredibly unfair for a boy to have such pretty eyes. But his eyes were the only thing pretty about him. The rest of his body was strong, sturdy. It was a body built to handle the shit the world threw at it. She remembered how strong and warm those arms had been when he'd carried her.

Buffy's brow furrowed. Geez she was getting off track here. She had fully intended to just check out the situation with Harry and Giles before heading back home for her own nap. Speaking of which, she was tired. It wasn't fair that the guys got to sleep and she was running around in faux leather heels.

She pouted, it wasn't exactly attractive but she was tired.

"Your face might stick like that," a voice warned.

Buffy's eyes jumped upward. "Wh– oh Harry, you're awake." Buffy sidestepped the teasing comment and settled herself across the young wizard.

"Yep, your clanging could wake the dead," he smirked at her. Buffy's pulse quickened, her heart leaping in her chest. Had he...eh...noticed her staring at him? Oh god she'd die from embarrassment.

"Heee, he..." she laughed nervously. Harry didn't seem to notice and rubbed his forehead, his fingers drawing circles at his temples. He shook his head, trying to escape the buzzing in his ears.

"How's Willow?" he inquired.

"Oh she's fine. The doctor set her arm real fast and the pain potion thing left her pretty loopy. She was calling Oz her 'little carrot', I'm not certain if she'll remember that. Oz is just lucky Xander wasn't there or that would be a nickname that he'd be stuck with for life." Buffy's voice hurried on in its chattering tone. I'm blabbering I'm blabbering, I'm a blabbering-er I gezzz, Buffy's thoughts ran in circles as she tried to play it cool. Why was she going all...fuzzy?

Buffy stopped and stared at Harry.

He's just a friend.

Yeah keep telling yourself that.

"That's good," nodded Harry. Completely unaware of Buffy's inner turmoil, Harry was more preoccupied with trying to sense out his magic. Dumbledore was right. He'd gained some order since the fight on the hellmouth but it was still fractured. Harry frowned slightly. The magic in the air felt like it was tugging on his splintered core. He shook his head.

"You okay?" Buffy questioned. She had leaned in slightly and seemed troubled by whatever emotions had flickered across his face.

"I'm-"

"Fine," completed Buffy. She raised her eyebrows.

"Okay, not fooling you." Harry sighed. He felt more comfortable around Buffy than he felt around most people. He watched her eyes flicker with concern. Suck it up Potter, he commanded himself. She deserves some answers.

"When I defeated Voldemort...I didn't do it in an ordinary way." Harry shook his head. He never did anything normal. "See a prophecy said if I didn't kill him, he'd kill me. I didn't want to murder him...but I didn't have a choice. He...well he killed so many people. My parents, my friends, people I didn't even know but I was responsible for them too." Harry paused. Somehow he'd become responsible for more people than seemed fair. He hurried away from those thoughts and continued his tale.

" And, my friend, the last person he killed. Hermione, I told you about her..."

Buffy nodded, remembering the day Harry had confided in her about his friends' deaths.

"She found a spell, a spell she thought would be justice. When he killed her, I figured I owed it to her to use it. So I did. It was supposed to suck his magic from him, he'd die a slow terrible death. And he'd die a muggle, something he had always hated. Hermione figured it was as close to justice as his victims would ever get. But something went wrong...or maybe it was supposed to work that way, I don't know. But when his magic burst out, it didn't disappear. I think I understand now. See, I don't think magic can ever be destroyed. It's like energy. But for some reason the magic came into me."

Buffy's eyes opened wide. Harry didn't notice. His thoughts had settled inward again. Turning into that magic. Again he noted the unpleasant pressure in the air. Tugging at his painfully shattered magical core. Buffy's voice brought him back to the present.

"So you have..."

"Yes, his magic and mine. And trust me, I don't want his. Sometimes when I sleep I see things his magic did. He was so bound to it. This magic. He did things to it, with it...things wizards shouldn't do."

Buffy cringed and reached out to grasp his forearm.

"But Dumbledore, my school's headmaster, he said that a magical core isn't meant to be torn apart and added too. It's made me, at least for the time, more vulnerable to outside influences."

"So that...when your eyes went all red...that was Voldemort?"

Harry wanted to lie. He wanted to tell her that it was Voldemort, placing all the blame on the sadistic madman. But he couldn't.

"No, that was me. Something in the magic here, in Sunnydale, there at the hellmouth...it's very strong. But in a bad way. I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't...If I'd given into it." Harry's voice floundered and for a moment he was filled with images of what he might have done. Then in a flash the tornado of fears stopped and his mind became suddenly clear.

I can't stay here.

The thought was an unwelcome one. But he knew it was true, he couldn't stay here. Not if he wanted to heal, not if he wanted to be whole some day. Being here was like picking at a scab.

Something of Harry's thoughts must have reflected in his eyes because for Buffy, those vivid green eyes suddenly stole her breath away.

"Harry..." she swallowed nervously as his head lifted. Without knowing what she was doing, Buffy leaned forward. Her mind didn't register anything except sudden warm fluttering in her stomach as she pressed her lips against his. It was soft, no demands. She pulled back quickly, shaking herself wondering what had inspired that sudden action. It had just seemed right.

"I...I..." Harry stared back at her with a gobsmacked expression. He hadn't expected that. He hadn't anticipated anything remotely like that. And although it had been a surprise, he knew without question that it was certainly something he wanted to experience again.

Harry tried to pull himself together. "I've forgotten what we were talking about," he confessed.

Buffy giggled again. "Well that's nice to know."

This time Harry tentatively leaned forward, watching Buffy's eyes as he did so. The laughter faded to be replaced with something else. Harry paused. Once again a pair of lips met his, this time more firmly. He closed his eyes and drank in the smell of her. Her blonde hair brushed his face. His hand reached out, sliding along her back, bringing her closer to him.

Harry could have floated as the magic that had swirled around them before returned in full force. He could see it though his closed eyes. He was feeling distinctly sappy. He'd never relate this to anyone...except perhaps Buffy.

He smiled when they parted.

Cough

Buffy and Harry sprang apart as if they had been spring loaded. Harry jumped to his feet and hastily shoved his hands into his pockets. He looked up to see his Uncle polishing his glasses.

"I'm sorry, did I miss something? I can't see a thing without my spectacles." Giles's voice was rather sly, and Harry was rather certain that his Uncle had caught him mid-snog but he was relieved by his Uncle's guise nonetheless.

"Uhhhh, hi Giles," bubbled Buffy.

"Hello Buffy, I'm surprised you aren't sleeping like the rest of us, hem, were."

"Ooh, yeah...Just wanted to see how you guys were doing. But since you're doing fine." Buffy smiled "I...uh, really should be going." Buffy paused for a moment, then leaned towards Harry, who opened his green eyes wide. Buffy grinned at his deer-in-the -headlights look.

"Maybe you should talk a little, with that Uncle of yours. He's not a bad guy when you've got a lot on your mind. Just don't let on that I told you that." Buffy voice was quiet, and Harry grew still as he listened.

"Maybe you're right," conceded Harry.

Buffy grinned impishly. "I'm always right." With a grin in his direction, she flounced out of the room.

Harry watched as she left. That carefree exuberance she possessed. It was amazing when you knew what she dealt with nightly. Yet, Harry couldn't hide the returning feeling of sadness when his previous thoughts returned in full force. He liked Buffy, he liked her lightness, her determination, the love she expressed to those around her. But that kiss... it had been the sort of thing that should hold him here. Yet it couldn't. He could never become the type of man he should be, the type of man Buffy deserved, if he didn't become whole again. But his magic wouldn't heal here.

No one ever said that life was fair. His life just seemed more unfair than most.

"We really should do something about him," said Giles nodding toward Xander. Harry hadn't noticed but the young man's snores had become somewhat loud. The potion Harry had given him would likely ensure that Xander wouldn't wake up anytime soon.

Giles looked upward, thinking that they might leave Xander up in his room. "Well if you take his shoulders and I take his feet I think we might just manage," said Giles speculatively.

Harry grinned. He snapped his fingers and the young man on the couch disappeared. Harry grinned and took Xander's place, stretching satisfactorily.

"I thought of doing that early."

Giles looked ceiling-ward again, the noise of Xander's slumber now muffled. "If you can do that why didn't you pop him home?"

"I ah...don't know where he lives," shrugged Harry. "Didn't want to miss, he could wind up on the roof."

"Something I'm sure he'd live with," muttered Giles. Harry nodded and leaned back into the cushions of the sofa. But Harry didn't close his eyes. He kept them open, wondering how he was going to tell Giles and Buffy what he had to do.

"Are you alright Harry?" a kind male voice asked. Harry raised his head and locked eyes with his Uncle.

His trademark 'I'm fine' was on the tip of his tongue. But this time he paused.

"No. Not really." Harry sat up, he surveyed his Uncle for a moment. Giles felt the measuring quality of the gaze and stiffened his spine slightly. But whatever Harry was looking for, he must have found.

In a low voice, Harry quickly related the fall of Voldemort to his Uncle. It felt easier telling it now, after having shared the misadventure with Buffy. His Uncle had listened, seemingly tranquil, during the tale's telling. Yet his eyes had flickered when his nephew mentioned Voldemort's magic entering himself.

"I went to speak with Dumbledore, they said he wanted to see me, so I went. I...well we talked about things. He said, well I told him I was here. He knows the hellmouth. Said all the dark magic not only lured dark creatures here, but it also acts as an influence."

"I'd willingly agree to that," Giles said with a nod. He'd often seen good people driven to the brink, often for the best intentions.

"And with my magic being the way it is..." Harry paused. He wasn't certain how to explain this. Not without it sounding like was merely trying to escape from Sunnydale. That wasn't it. He intended to come back. He had an Uncle who seemed to...care about him?

Harry leaned back for a moment and tried to look at his Uncle from an outsider's perspective. The older man was seated, leaning forward slightly. His forehead was slightly furrowed, his eyes looking downward. Harry could see his Uncle's mind puzzling out what Harry was saying. Giles's lips narrowed into a slight frown.

He did care. He must. Uncle Vernon or even Aunt Petunia had never shown the slightest interest in Harry's well-being, well, unless he endangered their own. Yet, Rupert Giles, a man who had only known of his existence for a short time, seemed honestly worried about him.

"You have to leave...don't you." Giles looked up.

"Did...did you want me to stay?" Harry had to ask. It was probably rude to be so direct, it might offend his Uncle. But for a kid who had spent so many years knowing that he wasn't wanted, it was something he had to ask.

Giles swallowed. He took a breath.

"Yes...I wanted that."

Harry leaned back in his chair, a small smiles spread across his face, he lifted his hand and pushed a few stay hairs out of his face. He took a breath and promised himself that he would remember this moment. Sitting here with the mid-day sun slipping through the windows, the dusty, bookish smell of this Uncle's house. If he concentrated he thought he could catch the smell of Buffy in the air, he could remember the magic sparking in the air as she'd leaned in to kiss him. He'd remember the flecks of gold in his uncle's eyes as the older man nervously expressed his desire for Harry to stay. He'd remember all of this. Moments like this were rare, and he'd treasure it. Even if, for the moment, these memories would cause him nothing but pain.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. I can't stay here in Sunnydale. But..."

A gasp intruded into the conversation.

Harry's head whipped around, his eyes widening when he spotted the source of the noise. Buffy. Her mouth hung slightly open, her eyes wide.

"You're leaving?" Her voice was amazingly steady. But there was a hurt in her eyes that surprised him. Harry had thought he'd known Buffy pretty well. What he hadn't known, and probably had no way of knowing, was that she didn't lose her heart easily. And that one kiss which had been so sudden and unplanned, a kiss which might be interpreted as friendly and caring, was in truth, filled with a voiceless confession of love.

Love.

Harry hadn't known it, Buffy hadn't known it. But there is was. Now the emotion stood between them heavily. Buffy closed her eyes and swallowed as the now familiar ache of abandonment tugged at her.

"I..."

Buffy was gone before the words left Harry's lips. She'd heard all this before. She flung herself from Giles's flat and into the deceptively cheerful California day, her feet pounded on the pavement as she cursed herself for being foolish once again. What did she think was gonna happen? Had she really expected for Harry to just toss his magical world aside, move here, go to UC Sunnydale with her and live happily ever after? Well as happily as a Slayer and powerful boy-wizard could.

She bit her lip fiercely. She had. She's done it again. Idiot! She'd fallen into the same trap with Angel. Damn the Beatles and their "All You Need is Love" song. Love wasn't all you needed. Love didn't pay the bills, love didn't bridge oceans, and love sure didn't keep people together when the forces of evil were constantly tearing them apart.

She'd been a fool, and it hurt even more the second time.

"Buffy!" The Slayer stumbled for a moment when a voice called her name. She looked over her shoulders to see a black haired young man chasing after her. She was sorely tempted to keep running she was nearly at her house, she could run inside, lock the door and bury herself until all the feelings fell away. But she didn't.

"Buf–fy" Harry staggered to a halt next to her. His breath came in ragged gasps. He'd run full speed trying to keep up with her. He shook with exhaustion, he lowered his hands to his knees, leaning forward. He wheezed trying to catch his breath. He glanced up at Buffy, she wasn't even out of breath. Okay, Slayer stamina wasn't something to be doubted. Nice to know.

"Not- for-rever" Harry struggled to say. "I'm- not- forever...jusst magic heals..." Harry looked back up, his eyes trying to tell her what his weak words could not.

Buffy stood still. Harry had caught some breath and straightened, his eyes were locked on the far away look she had.

"Buf- umph" Harry voice became muffled in shock when Buffy threw herself at his chest, wrapping her arms around him. Harry paused for a moment, unsure how to react. Buffy's head came to just about his nose, the soft scent of her hair washed over him. Strawberries? Harry wrapped his arms around Buffy, pulling her closer.

"You aren't leaving forever?" Buffy glanced upward.

"Nope. Just got to get my magic fixed, then you can't keep me away." Harry shook his head.

Buffy smiled. "I'll hold you to that."

Joyce Summers closed the curtain with a small smile on her face. Seeing her daughter, seeing the seeds of love that were being planted, she felt an unimaginable feeling of relief. She had always wanted this happiness for Buffy. She wanted it for Harry too. She continued smiling softly as the phone rang.

"Hello...oh hello Mr. Giles." pause. "Yes they're outside...no everything seems fine."

In his flat, Giles shook his head a gesture of both exasperation and (somewhat hidden) relief.

"Thank you Joyce...you wouldn't mind if I popped over would you?" Pause. "Good, see you then." Giles rested the phone on the cradle. He took a moment, sitting in a chair. Unbidden a laugh came pouring from him. It was an unusual sound to be heard coming from the Watcher. He tied his shoes with a somewhat goofy grin. He wrote a note for Xander should the young man wake, then left for Buffy's house on foot.

Well Rupert Giles, he thought to himself, you won't be lonely anymore.

-The End-

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A/N: I promise an epilogue so you can get a glimpse into what life holds in store for Harry and Buffy's world. A sequel depends on how well I can create a new plot, I'm not about to throw together something that won't work. Smiles, I like this story too much to do that.

Special thanks goes to SeleneHarker, my beta for this chapter. I'll admit to being a little anxious about this last official chapter, but she talked me off the ledge and got me writing. So you can thank her for this update.

Just in chance folks don't stick around for the epilogue...I personally love them, but you never know some people might not be fans, I wanted to write something about borrowing ideas from this story. Go Ahead! If anyone got an idea for a fanfic from reading mine, I sincerely hope you write it. Don't like how something went, write your own version. I only ask that you let me know, smiles, so that I can read it and enjoy it. I feel that this is the spirit of fanfiction, a true sharing of ideas. Well, that is my philosophy, I hope you enjoyed my fanfic. And, I hope you enjoy what hopefully will be more to come (I have a great idea for a HP/Xmen crossover!)