Set is the same as last time, but with a slight twist—there is an orchestra pit near Azula's chair. Ty Lee and Mai are sitting nearby, fanning the princess with palm leaves.

AZULA: Why, hello, inferiors! Welcome back to another episode of "Ask Azula". This intro is getting boring, so I hired a band to do a theme song.

Chong, Lily, and the rest of the hippies are all sitting with their instruments, being forced to play at gunpoint.

AZULA: Well, I didn't technically hire them. Slaves have to be bought. Play my song, hippies!

They play a rather good, jazzy, upbeat tune.

AZULA: Hmmm! Good! Very "Ask Azula-ish".

TY LEE: Can they play the trombone??? Huh?? Can they???

AZULA: Keep it up, and they'll play your funeral mass too. Mai, fetch me some letters!

Dear Azula,
Were you ever annoyed when people referred to you as Zula? Oh, and would you please stop acting so psychotic, you're giving my little sister, who is annoyingly similar to you, too many ideas!!
Sincerely, Kitty Demon
ps. the Zuko fan mob is coming for you, I shall be among them and I shall rip every hair out of your head and then force you to watch barney and do calculus.

Dear Kitty Demon,

Yes, I was rather annoyed by people messing up my name, but a few lawsuits cleared that right up.

No, I will not stop being psychotic. I do, however, find it charming that your sister emulates me so much. She'll never top me, though. No sir.

I took down the Dai Li like a sneeze. Taking down the Zuko Fan Mob shouldn't require any more effort than is needed for me to use the bathroom.

I took Calculus already and passed it with an AA, which is one letter grade higher than an A. Beat that. (If you're having trouble with calculus, write my name in the blanks on your tests. You will score over 123 percent.)

TY LEE: Most people don't know that "Zula" was Azula's cute little nickname as a baby… Firelord Ozai called her that. So CUTE!

AZULA: You must enjoy pain. Hits her with a trombone.Heh… hit her with a trombone…how appropriate.

NEXT LETTER!!!

Dear Azula,

Do you have any "feelings" besides anger, rage, triumph, etc.?
And are you aware that after you failed to bring your brother back home to the Fire Nation (The Avatar State), Momo spraypainted 'Zuko wuz hea' on the side of your ship?
And are you aware that your name spelled backwards is 'Aluza' as in 'a looser'? (Someone told me this, as I am too dim-witted coughyeahright and nonobservant to notice things like these.)
P.S. Lurves the hair.
Oh-so-sincerely, Avatarwolf
(And it would really boost your status if you got a cape and maniacal laugh. XD)

Dear Avatarwolf,

Feelings besides anger, rage, triumph? Yes, actually. I also feel amazement, mainly when I'm reading stupid letters like this. It's a shame that I never cry, because my tears can cure cancer.

Momo spray-painted that? Heh. A freakin' lemur can spell, but Zuko can't manage to see through my lies.

Your name backwards is Flow- Rat- Ava. Sounds pretty sick. You actually have the properly spelled words "Flow" and "Rat" in your name, whereas mine is a bogus mispronunciation.

Thank you for the compliment. 0 I like my hair too. I would say that I "love" it, but I am not capable of love.

Cape and maniacal laugh? Who needs them when you've got pointy boots? I'm not about to take popularity advice from a girl whose username backwards brings to mind a rat taking a pee.

I believe I just pwned you. BURN!

NEXT LETTER!

Dear Witch that has a name that rhymes with "Hula",
Why are you calling Zuko's fics bad? Have you ever read the fics people write about you?!
Sincerely, Strix Moonwing

Dear Stick,

Oh dear Agni. Not you again. Sheesh, do you enjoy the sight of your typing or something? Oh, and I have certainly read fics that people have written about me. (See episode 1 of Ask Azula) I could manure a lawn with them, or rather, have my slaves do so. Zuko's fics are awful, and so are mine. His just suck by about 0.998 percent more.

PS: My name does rhyme with "Hula". And I can hula dance nicely. I'm sure you could too if I lit you on fire.

NEXT LETTER!

Dear Azula, do you have a crush on anyone? And don't lie!

Sincerely, Nosy

Dear Nosy, you ARE nosy! About your question….

…

…

…

…Yes. Yes, I do have a crush on someone.

I was passing by this mirror, and in it I saw this girl… with gold eyes… and perfect hair up in a bun… wearing clothes just like me… and I was so captivated I couldn't look away. Siiigh….

MAI: Ohh, that's how I feel whenever Zuko walks by.

AZULA: Really? Oh, how romantic.

MAI: Yeah…

AZULA: Hits her with an oboe.

NEXT LETTER!

Dear Azula, my mom is being so unfair! What should I do??

Sincerely, Mad

Dear Mad, you can just do what I did to my mom when she got on my nerves. All you have to do is ::::STATIC ELECTRICITY:::::

Due to an electrical failure, the show will have to end early.