Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts

Warning: Contains… scenes of a sort. You know what I mean.

Chapter 5: Plunge Into Depression

Later that day, Sora was up in his room packing clothes and other things he thought he might need on his trip back home. Then he realized how silly this was, how he had all he would need at home. Even though he wouldn't be seeing Kairi the first few days of vacation, she would be home on Christmas Eve. Even though she had been increasingly strange when she was talking to him, disinterestedly almost, he was as exited as he had been about Christmas when he was only 5 years old. Riku had told him earlier, reproachfully, that he should realize just how rude she was to him. But Sora couldn't help himself.

The phone rang. Sora jumped up and answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey Sora, its Tidus. Listen, I think there's something you should know." Sora completely missed the tension in Tidus' tone of voice.

"Tidus! I've missed you! Yesterda" Tidus cut Sora off.

"This is important. Sora, its about Kairi." Suddenly Sora went silent.

"Selphie just told me that Kairi told her about a guy she's seeing. She's playing you Sora. Fooling around while you're gone, and she doesn't plan to break up with you. You know that friends house she's been staying at? That's him. I'm sorry Sora; I just had to tell you…"

"I'm gonna go now…" Sora ran blindly, tears in his eyes, to he knew not where. He fell, and couldn't get up. And so, he lay there crying, oblivious to rain and time. Emotionally spent, he passed out; oblivious to rain and time.

Hours later, when Sora didn't show up for dinner and hadn't come back to the dorm, Riku decided he would search for the boy. He left the dorm and first looked around the school, but couldn't find him anywhere. After an hour, Riku decided to go back to the dorm to see if Sora had gotten back while he was gone. Riku desperately hoped that this was the case, but was soon disappointed. He left again, his open almost gone.

"Mnnmnn…" Riku's heart jumped, listening to the moaning. He kept walking, and it got louder. He started running, through a garden, and found Sora slumped over by a birdbath. Riku gingerly picked him up, his body limp. Riku brought him back to the dorm, careful not to knock the boy's head when going through the doorway. Riku tenderly set him down on the bed and took his wet clothes off. He tried not to look at anything, but Sora's wet naked body shone in the moonlight, attracting his eyes. His shoulders, nape, smooth chest, slightly rippled stomach, tight legs, and… he looked away again. A warm feeling at the bottom of his stomach was growing, and he knew he couldn't feel that way about Sora. The brunette was so sweet and innocent… he would feel so guilty for even just looking. Riku brought up the sheets over the sleeping boy, trying not to touch his skin.

Riku went to the bathroom and locked the door. The sight of Sora's body and the feelings it brought were too much. His body had reacted, and now an almost painful erection was trapped in his pants. Riku undid his pants and let them drop to the floor. Pictures of Sora flashed before his lust-clouded eyes as he grasped himself. Starting slowly, he moved his hand along his length. The guilt soon melted away as need consumed him. He pumped it harder, faster. Sweat gleamed on his back. Suddenly he threw his head back as he came, loudly moaning Sora's name.

The next morning Sora awoke, stark naked beneath the sheets. He blushed, and then remembered what had happened last night. The phone call, the pain. The broken love. He turned to see Riku still asleep in his bed. Sora knew it must have been him that found him. Riku had said that Kairi was no good, that he deserved something better, something that was at the very least, real. Sora had always smiled and denied the state of his relationship. But he now knew he must tell Kairi not to bother to visit him during Christmas. She should stay with whoever her new toy was. Sora drifted back to sleep, grateful that Riku cared enough to go to the trouble to keep him safe.

Later that morning, Sora awoke while Riku was dressing.

"Thank you for…last night." Riku didn't look at Sora, his guilt at the lust he felt returning.

"What happened? I found you passed out in Marluxia's garden."

"Yesterday Tidus called. He told me that Kairi is seeing someone else. And I… it really hurt." Riku turned now and gave Sora a quick hug.

"Don't think about her. Okay? She doesn't matter anymore." Riku felt a deep jealousy laced with hatred. The girl had not only taken but broken Sora's love.

"Well, we better get going. Class is going to start. We missed breakfast." The boys left, both hurling themselves into schoolwork to erase emotion and memory.

Later, Sora called and confronted Kairi. At first she denied everything and said she would never do something like that. Then she tried, for a moment, to ask forgiveness. And finally, she yelled at Sora for his supposed faults and hung up. It was bitter, and although Sora knew he had done nothing wrong, remorse seeped into his soul and tortured him, making him regret what he had done and wish he could take it back.

That night Sora left on a bus with a few other student, none of whom he knew, to the airport. He was taking a late night flight with the few bags he had to his parents whom he would see in the morning. He was in a touchy mood and made his goodbyes quick. His day, his whole trip had been ruined. Sora's mixed feelings had taken their toll on the boy, and on the plane ride over, he fell into a deep sleep.

After walking off the plane and picking up his luggage, he waited outside the airport for his parents. It was early in the morning, and within 15 minutes, he saw their car coming down the road. It pulled over to the curb, and Sora climed in.

"Hi honey! How was your trip?"

"We missed you so much!"

"I missed you guys too. It was okay. A long trip."

"You don't sound too good, sweetie. Are you okay?" His mom was always getting worried.

"Yea, I'm fine. I just hope I don't see Kairi while I'm here."

"Oh, sweetie…" Something was wrong.

"I thought you knew… We phoned the school last night…" What was it?

"Last night, Kairi was at her friends house taking a shower and…"

"And what?!?"

"She slipped in the shower. When her head hit the side, she was knocked out. She would have been fine but, oh, honey, I can't tell him." Sora's mom looked to her husband for help.

"She drowned, Sora." Sora was shocked. He had talked to her that night. It must have been right before she got in the shower…right before she died. He was incredulous.

"It cant be true. It isn't!"

"I'm sorry, Sora sweetie." He wouldn't speak for the hour drive home. Sora stared out the window, going over in his mind what had happened. He had known Kairi since forever. He couldn't remember a day before high school when she hadn't been there.

When he got home, Tidus, Wakka and Selphie were waiting for him inside. They all got up and helped him with his baggage, and Slephie gave him a big hug.

"Sora?"

"Thanks. I'm okay." The small girl smiled. And Sora knew that even though something terrible had happened, he had friends that would support him.

Later that evening, Tidus came into Sora's room after the others had gone home.

"Hey, what's up?"

"Nothing much…"

"Sora, its okay. Lets talk about something else. How's that new school been going?" Sora smiled. The first person he thought about was Riku. That friendship was what had kept him going during hard times. He wished he could be with Riku now. Tidus listened to Sora talk and talk, watching the tension slip away a Sora talked about happier times. But when Tidus left, the weight of reality pushed him back down into the misery of his tragedy.

Riku had also been falling into the emotional dumps. The absence of Sora left an empty place both physically and mentally. Sora wasn't there when he woke up or went to sleep, he wasn't there during mealtimes. He told himself that he had always been alone before, or with his brother Sephiroth.

That was it! Instead of spending Christmas day alone, he would visit his older brother, who lived in a small cottage on the other side of the campus. He would have to take a bus down there, as it was more than a few miles away. Even though most boarding schools didn't have a bus, this bus made a trip from the school to the small collection of houses the teachers lived in. It was quite similar to a gated community.

Riku had a strange relationship with his brother. He was always trying to compete, always trying to be as good as his brother. At the same time, however, Riku admired his brother. He was, after all, great; in a way, Riku was glad he had such an amazing brother. But Sephiroth had always seemed to overlook his younger brother, until the day when their mother had committed suicide. Riku had been 15, Sephiroth 16. They had been walking home from school and found their mother hanging from a rope tied to a beam in the ceiling, a chair toppled over under her. Her eyes were popping out, the sight truly gruesome. Sephiroth ran from the room out the front door, and not knowing what else to do, Riku followed. He followed him all the way down to the beach, where Sephiroth collapsed on the sand and started taking off his clothes. Terrified, Riku tried to stop his brother, screaming.

"Its my fault she did that, Riku. I have to atone…"

"It wasn't your fault! I don't want to lose you too!"
"Then who was it?" Riku was horrified. Who could he stop his brother? He was all he had left.

"It was me." Now Sephiroth gave Riku a horrified look.

"Really? You're right… it was you…." Riku couldn't understand Sephiroth. He was acting so strangely, saying such strange things.

"Seph, lets just go to dad's house. Okay?" Sephiroth nodded. They took the bus to the next town, where their dad lived. He was having dinner with another of the many women he was seeing. The boys just went up to their room.

Riku took a shower and got in bed. He waited while Seph took a shower. He fell asleep listening to the water from the shower, but woke up when he felt a weight on top of him. Someone was pinning him down.

"Wha-what?"

"You made mother do that. You need to pay for what you've done. It's what she would have wanted." Riku was shocked. What was going to happen to him?

Sephiroth pushed his mouth onto Riku's forcing it open and pushing his tongue inside. It was then that Riku noticed his brother was still wet and naked from his shower. Hands found their way down Riku's torso, pulling his shirt off. His tongue licked his way down Riku's neck, biting the white skin every few inches. Although it was his brother doing this to him, Riku couldn't stop himself. He had never felt so good in his life, and he wanted more. He was caught between horror and pleasure.

Sephiroth took one nipple in his mouth, sucking and licking. He pushed his fingers inside the younger boy's mouth, which was open and wet. He closed his mouth, making them all wet too. He moaned at Sephiroth pulled down his boxers with one hand and lifted one leg over his shoulder. He slipped his other hand, fingers still wet, right under Riku's cock. He grasped it lightly, warm and slippery. Riku gasped and moaned Sephiroth's name. And then, without warning, Sephiroth slammed his length, as far as he could, deep into Riku, who threw his head back and screamed. It was turning into a nightmare. The pain was too much for Riku, more than he wanted. But… if he really did drive his mother to do something like that, then maybe he deserved it. Sephiroth grunted and panted above him, once licking Riku's bottom lip before kissing him again, hard. Riku couldn't stop crying, it hurt so much and felt so good, so wonderfully forbidden. His erection rubbed against Sephiroth's tight stomach. It felt so good. At the same time, he felt as if he were going to break. He welcomed that foreign feeling.

This was the beginning of Riku's obsession.

He stood in front of the tall door oh his brother's house, waiting there for what seemed like forever as night fell. Sephiroth finally came to the door, and when he saw who was there to visit, he smiled.

"Why, its Riku. I haven't seen you in such a long time. Come in." Riku stepped in to the dim room and followed his brother to the couch. He sat down while Sephiroth poured some wine in crystal glasses, handing one to Riku. He took the glass gratefully and sipped. The wine was dark, almost mahogany, and it tasted so good to him.

"So, why did you suddenly show up on Christmas night, hmm? Is it because you wanted to spend it with family? Or because you're lonely without your little friend Sora?" Riku stared guiltily into his glass. He hadn't come to see his brother as often ever since Sora had forced his way into Riku's life. The kid took up so much time, but he had enjoyed every moment of it.

"What does he do to be put in such high priority? Even over me. You do know you'll have to make up for it, Riku." Riku glanced up into Sephiroth's glaring eyes.

"What do you want me to do?"

Well, that was kinda sad…. Remember to review! Because… without reviews, I don't think I would be able to live….(which also means I wouldn't be able to write this!! dies) And also, I tried to make this one extra-long. And I updated fast! So please please please reviwew!