A/N Insert the usual disclaimers here. I don't think this is the final chapter, but I'm not sure when I'll post the next one (or if). It all depends on my ever elusive muse. Anyway, thanks to those who have read and even more to those who have reviewed, I appreciate the time and effort.

POE1911

FONDEST WISHES, AND OTHER NIGHTMARES COME TRUE

Angel stared out the window of his office and brooded; hey, you always go with your best pitch. If you had told him a couple of years ago that he would end up as the CEO of Wolfram and Hart, he would have laughed in your face then punched you out, but here he was. He hated it.

Ever since Cordy had stopped being Cordy Angel had felt adrift, rudderless; like he was simply moving from one bad decision to a worse one with no end in sight. Angel found himself missing her several times a day, her comments and her no bullshit attitude was a constant reality check. And she kept him grounded, it kind of amused Angel that Cordelia had ended up performing the same function for him that Xander had done for Buffy. In that respect it wasn't such a surprise that the two had been close. Even their outcomes were similar, one dead and the other in an irreversible coma. It wasn't fair, the normal members of the group suffered the greatest losses, then they were discarded; there were times that Angel really despised the Powers. He resumed brooding and kept it up until Fred Burkle burst into his office talking a mile a minute. The petite Texan was talking so fast that Angel could only catch about half the words, and what he was catching wasn't making any sense. Finally getting fed up with it he yelled out "Fred, take a breath or two and then tell me again, slowly, what has you so worked up".

Fred took a couple of exaggerated breaths and then said "she's awake" with an ear to ear grin on her face.

"Cordelia" Angel asked his voice almost reverent.

Fred nodded, grin firmly in place "at about 8 this morning she just got up out of bed and went to the bathroom. Then she started freaking out, I guess because of her hair now that it's long and brunette again."

"Maybe" Angel said with an almost smile of his own "or she saw herself in the hospital gown." He mused for a second or two and then turned to Fred again "so she's still in the hospital"?

"Uh-huh, she was told that the doctors had to make sure she was fine, so they're running a bunch of tests. They were told not to let her go until we arrived."

"Good" Angel said "you and Wes get her some clothes; the rest of us will meet you at the hospital." His gaze returned to the window as he heard Fred head out the door; it wasn't pure happiness but it was sure close Angel thought, his Cordelia was back.

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Xander was bored and frustrated and angry, especially angry. He was angry at the Powers for the whole gender switcheroo, angry at himself for not asking, but mostly he was angry at Deadboy both for not protecting Cordy, and for not calling him when she had been in trouble, or the hospital or whatever. He honestly couldn't figure out why no-one had picked up the phone and told him when there had been trouble, or when Cordy needed a friend or help. Part of him thought that Angel had simply been jealous, and part of him was afraid that Cordy just didn't care enough to keep him in the loop; but mostly he figured it was simply that they led very involved lives and had grown apart. In a way that was the scariest possibility of all.

Unfortunately he didn't have any kind of direct outlet for his anger at the moment, there were no demons to pummel or anything like that, so he had to be satisfied with glowering and sniping at the doctors who were performing a boatload of weird tests on him.

At first he had told them "no" to every test they suggested, but finally the department head came in and basically said that 'no tests' meant 'no get out'. After hearing that, Xander agreed to the tests. After hearing that, the docs had started swarming, until he had made them all stop and explain exactly what they were doing and why; they had pouted worse than Buffy, but did what he asked. Unfortunately one of them tried to take the opportunity of his being distracted by all the explanations to jab a syringe full of something into his arm. Xander had surprised himself by being both fast enough to grab the Quack's hand before the needle got to him, and strong enough to accidentally crush the guy's hand. He had felt a little bad about that, but mostly he was wondering what had happened to Cordy's body.

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Fred couldn't help but rush ahead of Wes, she was so looking forward to seeing her friend again. She burst into the room and saw Cordelia sitting in the bed with a very irritated expression on her face. Fred launched herself at the larger woman and grabbed her in a fierce hug and said "ohCordyIcan'tbelieveyou'reawakeaftereverythingthat'shappenedtoyouI'msorrywedidn'tknowyoureallyweren'tyoubutnowyou'reawakeandeverything'sgonnabeOK" in a Willow worthy burst. It took Fred a moment to realize she wasn't being hugged back and that Cordy wasn't saying anything. Disentangling herself a bit she looked at Cordy and saw an odd expression, almost a grimace, on her face. "Cordy" Fred asked in confusion.

"Uh, no offense and I'm glad you're happy that I'm awake and everything, but who the hell are you lady?"

Fred looked at the other woman, uncertainty clearly written on her face "you don't remember me" she asked in a small voice.

"Sorry but no" came the reply.

Before Fred could say anything the door opened up and Wesley walked into the room.

"Hey Wes, you're looking different" Xander said.

Wesley stopped in confusion and Fred took the opportunity to ask "why do you recognize Wes but not me"?

Realizing that these people were Cordelia's friends and they deserved an explanation Xander said "there's a reason for that but how about I get dressed first, Deadboy ought to be here by the time I'm done and that way I don't have to repeat the story."

Wes's eyes snapped up when he heard the name Cordelia used for Angel, but he didn't say anything, he just handed Cordelia the clothes that Fred had picked out for her. As the bathroom door closed Fred asked "what's up Wesley"?

"Well Fred, I have a suspicion, but it sounds too incredible."

"More incredible than what we usually deal with?"

"Well beyond that Fred" Wes said "well beyond that"; he cast a hard look at the bathroom door and said no more.

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It had just taken the news that Cordelia was awake for Angel to pry Lorne away from the Client meeting he was in the middle of and together they tracked Gunn down then the three of them headed for Cordelia's hospital.

When Angel walked into Cordelia's room he should have known something wasn't quite right. First of all, Wes and Fred were across the room from her and she was leaning against the wall in a not very Cordelia-like way; Fred looked confused, Wes looked suspicious and Cordelia looked very uncomfortable. But the most obvious evidence was the fact that Cordy was wearing minimal make up, her hair was in a simple pony-tail and her dress was rumpled, as though she had difficulty putting it on. None of that registered with Angel though, all he saw was Cordy, his Cordy; awake and alive nothing else mattered. He was across the room in a heartbeat and scooped the tall brunette into his arms all the while muttering "thank God". He leaned in for a quick kiss but was brought up short when Cordelia put her hand over his mouth and hissed "you kiss me Deadboy and I'll scream 'rape' at the same time I'm kicking your nuts so far up your throat that you'll be able to gargle em."

Angel stepped back, not wanting to believe what he'd just heard "What did you call me" he asked.

"Deadboy" Cordelia replied "would you have preferred 'Captain Hair Gel', 'the Broodmeister', 'the Forehead Avenger', I've got more."

Xander almost laughed out loud at the different reactions to what he'd just said. The big guy in the suit looked like he was about to laugh and was mentally taking notes on things to call Angel; the green guy just looked a bit bemused; the girl, Fred he remembered, looked offended that anyone would speak to Angel that way; Wes looked upset but satisfied, like he'd just figured everything out; and Angel looked like someone had just run over his puppy with a steamroller, an odd blend of anger and sorrow and confusion.

"Your not Cordelia, are you" Wesley asked from across the room.

"Not exactly" Xander said "this is her body, but her essence, soul, spirit, whatever you want to call it has ascended, and can't come back".

The revelation caught them all flat footed but Angel recovered the fastest, maybe because he was angriest; he grabbed the person in front of him firmly, but not painfully by the throat. "Then who the hell are you" Angel asked, menace in his voice.

The person didn't look intimidated in the least "I'm hurt Deadboy, I've given you enough clues, heck I though you were smarter than this" there was a moment's pause "OK how about this, your nasty alter ego and me in a hospital corridor, you've got some lilies in your hand and you're there to turn Buffy; catching a hint now?"

Angel released the person and stepped back quickly "Xander" he spat out.

"Well it's about time, no cigar for you; but maybe for Wes, he figured it out first."

"So exactly how did this all happen" Wesley asked because Angel looked incapable of speech at the moment.

"Well it's kind of an involved story; short version is that I died prematurely because one of the Powers got a bit uppity. Anyway, because of how I died, they gave me a choice between moving on and coming back. I opted to come back. The only problem was that my body was dead and I did not want to be a Xanbie. The solution the folks upstairs came up with was to put my spirit in the body of a champion whose spirit had moved on. They repaired the damage to the body and I moved in. I didn't realize it was Cordy until I woke up, although the smile Joyce had on her face when we said goodbye should have tipped me off."

"So what happens now" Angel asked.

"Well originally I was just gonna head out, but now I've got a couple of concerns; one is how do I approach the gang, I've been dead for over a year and they've kinda moved on with their lives; two is that I've already done some freaky stuff with Cordy's body, surprising strength and stuff like that not to mention the whole getting used to being a female. So I was hoping I could stay with you all a bit, that way I'd have time to map out a plan for blending back into everyone's life, plus Fred here could give me the whole low down on getting in touch with my feminine side.

The members of the 'Fang Gang' looked at each other, they had been together long enough that each could tell what the other was thinking; once a consensus had been reached Wesley spoke up. "It's not that we don't believe you, but could you sing a little something for us?"

"Sure, why?"

"Lorne here is an anagogic demon, he can get set you on the right course if he hears you sing."

"And tell if I'm a white hat or black hat."

"Yes, that too."

"OK" Xander said "here goes".

If there had been any question about whether or not it was really Xander was answered as soon as he/she/whatever started singing: "ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer, take one down and pass it around, ninety eight bottles of beer on the wall".

"Stop, please" Lorne yelled, grabbing his head

"So what do you think" Angel asked the green skinned demon before Cordy or Xander or whatever could open its mouth.

"He's one of the good guys, and he needs our help, oh and he can't sing to save his caboose."

Angel turned back to the newest or maybe former member of the team "looks like you've got a home."

The smile was one of Cordelia's mega watt jobs, but the sentiment was all Xander when he said "thanks Angel, I'll try to keep it down to three taunts a day."

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So Xander left with the Fang Gang and stayed with Fred at the Hyperion. He was told everything that had happened to Cordelia since she had been a part of Angel Investigations, and given the hows and whys of her new strength. This of course led to some very intense sparring sessions where Angel definitely came off second best because he was holding back and Xander wasn't. And when he wasn't training, Fred was doing her best to teach him how to be a girl, it was slow going.

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Charles Gunn was walking through the halls of Wolfram and Hart when he saw Angel standing outside a door with an odd little grin on his face. Gunn stopped next to his friend and noted that they were standing outside of Fred's office. "Another lesson in Girl 101" he quietly asked Angel.

Angel just nodded, then a voice yelled out from inside the office "I stick this WHERE four or five days a month".

And for the first time, since he found that Cordelia really wasn't Cordelia, Angel smiled and then went back to work.