A/N Yet another chapter in this epic saga of good and evil. God, I couldn't even type that with a straight face. So this looks to be the next to last chapter, and possibly an epilogue to wrap up some loose ends. As always, thanks to everyone that takes the time to read or review my little tale; I just hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. Thanks as well to Banadar, Cathode and Co. for thier suggestions and editing prowess. And now on with the show.
POE1911
SHAME IS A PERSONAL THING
Xander looked over at the sleeping blond that was currently snuggled into his side and wondered about the miracle of timing. There had been many times and some not to long past where he would have killed to be in the position that he was but now it was pleasant but a little awkward. It hadn't been a restful night but he believed that Buffy was over the worst of the guilt and had accepted the fact that she had only done what needed to be done; Buffy would come out of the whole thing OK and that was what was crucial.
Now that he had quieted his mind about Buffy, he considered the problem that was her sister. Dawn had seemed to fall right back into where she had been back before Spike killed him, determined to become Mrs. Xander Harris or as it stood now Mrs. Cordelia Chase. He wasn't sure how he should deal with it. He knew he loved Dawnie but he knew that it was more like the kind of love you felt for a sister. He distinctly remembered how he had felt when Buffy had just blurted out how she didn't feel "that way" about him and he felt the sting to this day and he didn't want that for Dawn but he didn't want to lead the girl on either; it wouldn't be fair to either her or to Faith. Xander knew that Faith had some monumental trust issues, and he thought that they were working through most of those, but to have Dawn hanging on him because he couldn't bear to cause her the pain of cutting her loose would pretty much destroy any relationship he had with the Bostonian. And he loved Faith; he knew that to the very depths of his soul. So he had to figure out a way to cut Dawn loose that was firm enough to make the girl back off without hurting her. He lay there wondering how his life could possibly get any more complicated.
Just then the blond at his side stirred and opened an eye "morning stranger".
"How are you this morning Buff?"
"Surprisingly good"
"Ahh, Xander the comfortador strikes again."
"He's always been there when I needed him."
"And he always will be."
"Really"
"Heck yes, my whole reason for coming back was so I could take care of my girls, I'm not gonna forget that; besides I promised your mom I would. Now I can't promise I'll be there at the drop of a hat but I'll be there that's a guarantee."
Buffy just stared into her friend's eyes and then hugged Xander tight "thanks Xander; I really don't know what I would have done without you."
They stared into each others eyes from just inches away and for the millionth time Xander found himself revisiting the land of 'what if'. Finally breaking the moment Xander said "we probably ought to get up and find Sam before Riley wanders off by himself."
"Yeah. . . . . .dibs on the shower" Buffy said launching herself out of bed with a laugh leaving Xander to just lay there and shake her head.
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Xander decided that he hated Rome; there were two main reasons. The first was the traffic; it seemed like everyone here drove like Buffy, actually upon reflection he decided that everyone drove like Cave-Buffy and that was scary beyond all measure. Add to that the conflicting and incomprehensible road rules and when you complained about it not making sense everyone looked at you like you were the crazy person. Finally everyone could breathe a sigh of relief when the taxi dropped them off at the Piazza de La Rotunda. Willow had refined her locator spell so they had a better idea about where in Rome Sam could be found.
After they got out of the taxi, traffic ceased to be the main source of Xander's ire but the other big problem reared its head. In short it was the male population of Rome; due to some massive delusion all of the men seemed convinced that every woman they spotted was aching to have sex with them and considering some of the men that was an insanely powerful delusion. It was nearly impossible to see anything or get anything done with the three girls constantly being hit on, so they devised a plan. Riley would use this little locator dohickey that Willow cooked up that would help them hone in on Sam using the warmer/colder principle while Buffy and Dawn were his eyes; it fell on Xander to deflect the attentions of the amorous male population. This was a job that he excelled at despite or maybe because he didn't speak Italian. Relying on a scathing tone, body language and very sharp-toed shoes Xander kept the horny men at bay while Buffy and Dawn were able to scan the crowd unimpeded.
"I'm telling you she's close" Riley called out "Willow's gizmo is pretty darned hot."
"That's great Riley, but I don't see her" Buffy called back "what about you Dawn"?
Dawn didn't immediately answer her sister, something or rather someone had caught her eye. She mentally tried to put the person she was looking at in fatigues and get rid of the make up. She finally managed this and it clicked, the face matched the one she remembered. "Got her" Dawn called out.
"Where" Riley asked looking around wildly.
"2 O'clock" Dawn said "the one in the middle."
Buffy looked over to where Dawn indicated and did a double take; she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She shook her head involuntarily, what she was seeing had to be a mistake, there was no way this could be real. Reluctantly she turned to Riley, what she saw was utter devastation on his face.
For his part, Riley didn't believe Dawn at first, he didn't want her to be right. But as he looked he realized that she was and that she had found Sam but this was a Sam he didn't know. Maybe it was the garish make-up or the clothes or something else entirely; regardless he was shaken down to the very foundations of his soul. There she was, for all to see; his Sam, his beautiful, funny, tough as nails Sam working the streets of Rome as . . . . . . his brain was having trouble even thinking it . . . . . a mime. Obliquely he noticed Buffy, Dawn and even Xander turning away from him, not wanting to add to the burden of guilt and shame he was feeling right now; part of him was angry at their turning away but mostly he was glad because shame was a personal thing. Once Riley had wrapped his brain around the concept of 'my wife is an amnesiac mime' (which sounds like a bad Jerry Springer episode and Riley was praying that Sam had amnesia, he didn't think he could handle Sam choosing to live like this) the question became 'how do you approach her'? Do you just walk up and say "hi, you don't know me but we're married and you have amnesia which is why you now don't know me from Adam"; or do you go for the subtle approach and lure her to some semi-private area and show her the documentation you have; or do you go the 'Soprano's' route and just cosh her on the head and drag her off? 'First things first' Riley thought 'let's make sure it is memory loss before playing "what if" without any evidence' he walked up to the girl and called out "Sam". No reaction. The problem was he couldn't tell if he was getting no reaction because she didn't know who she was, or because she was so into the mime thing; so he tried again "Sam its Riley, your husband".
This at least got a reaction; the girl looked straight at him and responded "do I look like a 'Sam' to you" she asked while cupping her breasts "my name is Anna".
Riley blushed but kept going "you're my wife, Samantha Finn."
"I think I'd know if I was married" the girl shot back.
"Yeah probably, unless you had amnesia."
"Right, I've got amnesia, what are you really; some kind of perv that's looking for a girl nobody would miss so you can do whatever you want with no consequences? I go with you and wake up two days later with no idea what's happened until I find out I'm an internet porn star, is that your game. Besides it looks like you're already taken care of in the female department" she said indicating Buffy, Dawn and Xander.
"Fine" Riley said "just tell me where and when you were born and we're out of here."
They all saw Sam hesitate, it was only for an instant but it was enough; what was more, she realized she was busted and hung her head. "So what do you want me to do?"
"Just come with us for a few minutes, somewhere public and we'll show you what we've got if you don't buy it you're free to walk."
Sam thought it over for a second or two "fair enough, where and when for this?"
"Now and you pick" Riley shot back.
"Cool" Sam said "follow me."
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Sam/Anna was shaking her head in denial. There was no way that what these crazy people were telling her was true. She and her husband; who admittedly was a pretty good looking guy, were basically bounty hunters that worked for the US government. It was a lot to swallow. "So how did we meet?"
"You were working with the Peace Corps in Peru and some terrorists attacked the village you were in, looking for supplies. My team and I were on their trail and took em out but not before they'd killed a lot of people in the village. You asked to join the team and a few months later we were married."
Sam/Anna listened intently, wanting to believe that what she was hearing was the truth but she had no memory at all of it. "You got any proof of this?"
"Well I've got the pictures and paperwork here that documents the what's and where's but I gotta admit it could all be faked."
"Is it?"
"Nah, I wouldn't do that."
"But doesn't this leave us at kind of an impasse?"
"Not necessarily" Xander spoke up "If you're willing to come to Paris with Riley and myself we've got a friend there that's familiar with straightening out situations like this."
"Paris?"
"Yeah, I realize its asking a lot, especially in terms of trust but I really think it'll help."
"And if I say no."
"Then Riley will find some excuse to run across you every day and remind you that he's still here and maybe hit you with the 'puppy dog eyes' until you feel lower that whale shit for not at least giving it a try."
"And if I go to Paris and afterwards I still don't know who you people are?"
"Then we back off" Riley answered, shocking his three friends.
"Really"
"Yeah, I'll leave you a card so you can contact us if you need to but that's it."
Sam/Anna considered this for a bit finally she looked at Riley "so when do we leave?"
"There's a train out of here at 2 pm if that's OK."
"Yeah" Sam/Anna said "that sounds good."
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It wasn't a teary goodbye at the train station but it was a heartfelt one. Xander had first gone to Buffy because he needed to make sure she was OK with everything that had happened and because it put off talking to Dawn. "Are you really gonna be OK Buff?"
"Yeah, in time I will be."
"You know I was serious about getting away from here, you, Wills and Dawnie just take off for a month somewhere you've never been before, somewhere on the Pacific."
"Why the Pacific?"
"Did you know the Polynesians say that the Pacific has no memory, I think that's something you and Wills needs right now."
"That sounds nice" Buffy murmured "somewhere warm with no memory."
"And you've got my number; use it if you need to, day or night I won't care."
Buffy hugged him tight "what would I do without you?"
"I don't plan on ever letting you find out". They hugged a bit more and Xander gave her a kiss on the top of the head then they backed away from each other; Buffy to say goodbye to Riley and Xander to say goodbye to Dawn. He eased up and gave out a lame "take care of yourself kiddo". Dawn just laughed.
"Xander" she said "you don't have to worry about me being in love with you or at least wanting to marry you. I know you don't think of our relationship in those terms aside from the fact that you're with Faith now. I'm just gonna concentrate on living my life and helping out where I can. If circumstances change and we get together then so be it, but I'm not gonna put my life on hold waiting for that to happen."
"When did you grow up Dawn" Xander asked after a moment of incredulous silence.
"While you were away."
"And how did you get to be so smart?"
"I don't know" she replied with a smirk "but it sure as heck wasn't genetics."
Xander and the Finn's got on the train to the sound of Buffy's outraged yell and Dawn's laughter.
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"So what's between you and soldier boy?"
Xander looked up from the newspaper she was reading into Sam Finn's eyes. He'd actually been expecting this ever since they boarded the train; Sam was curious and Riley was making with the silence and 'that's classified' a lot. Xander had seen that the woman was becoming frustrated and angry so when Riley left to see what was in the dining car Xander just started counting the seconds until Sam tried to get information out of him; he had made it to one hundred and forty seven. "We're friends that's all, we've known each other for years."
"So you met in that town you were telling me about?"
"Yep, good old Sunnydale; Riley was a Psych TA while Buffy and Willow were there, I met him through them."
"Did you and he ever . . . . . .?"
"Nah, he and the blond you met in Rome were an item for a while but me and Riley, never gonna happen."
"Why not?"
"Not my type."
"What, too stiff and take charge for you?"
"Nope" Xander said with a grin that was almost a leer "too male". Saying this he just held Sam's gaze.
She sat there for a minute, not really processing what the attractive brunette had just said. Suddenly the realization hit her and her eyes widened till they resembled dinner plates. She began to notice her surroundings again and became aware that 'Alexa' was looking into her eyes with a frank, appraising gaze and suddenly Sam felt very uncomfortable. Stammering an excuse she got out of her seat and moved to the door of the compartment, she panicked a second when she couldn't seem to get the door to work but soon it slid open; Sam looked back to say something to Alexa, saw the tall girl licking her lips and practically dove out into the aisle. She breathed a sigh of relief when the door slid closed without Alexa following her. Then Sam got up and went to find Riley, the sooner this was over the better.
Back in the compartment Xander smiled and thought 'there wasn't any part of that that wasn't fun' and went back to his newspaper.
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After everything else that had happened, Sam getting her memory back was kind of anti-climactic. They showed up at Willow's shop, Xander had called ahead so she was expecting them, and five minutes later it was done and everything was back to relatively normal. Well except for Sam being mortally embarrassed about her time as a mime. The restored couple was making rather noisy use of Willow's guest room while she and Xander talked.
"Any word from Tara?"
"No" Willow replied then she looked up at Xander, there had been something in the tone of the question "but you knew that didn't you?"
Xander gave a rueful smile, not much got past Willow "yeah Wills I did".
"So do you know where she is" Willow asked with a bit of heat.
"Me personally, no, but Deadboy's company tracked her down."
"Why didn't you tell me" Willow asked, hurt replacing the anger in her voice.
"Cause I didn't know then, it was in the information they handed to me in Rome."
Willow looked a bit relieved at this revelation "so where is she?"
"Barcelona Spain" Xander replied, then shot his hand out and grabbed Willow before she tried to get up "there's more" he said looking her in the eyes.
Willow was wigging a bit, she recognized the look, it was pure Xander but it was on Cordelia's face and that was fairly freaksome; and she knew the look, it was the 'you're not gonna like this' look. "She's with someone else, isn't she?"
"Yeah she is, they met a little over two weeks ago; she's a minor league witch , about Jonathan's level, and she's from a fairly well to do family. I'm so sorry Wills" he concluded as his best friend's face seemed to crumple in on itself from grief.
Being who he was, even in someone else's body, he immediately pulled Willow into his arms and just let her cry.