Chapter Five
"Jaime, I am so sorry," Steve said in a soft voice that was almost a whisper. He stood frozen, just outside his own front door, afraid to move toward her or cause her any more pain..
As much as Jaime yearned to be closer (his arms would feel so comforting), she wasn't quite ready yet. "It wasn't your fault," she reaffirmed quietly, "but...I need to ask you something." Jaime was too afraid of what would happen when she looked at Steve, so although she swiveled her body around in his direction, her eyes remained squarely on the ground.
"Ask me anything you need to."
"When you were...doing that with Lisa -"
Steve had to interrupt. "Jaime, I thought she was you. My mind and my heart...were with you. I...thought the rest of me was, too."
Finally, she looked up and their eyes met for the first time since she'd walked into the house. The intensity of the contact, of the emotions behind the gaze, took their breath away. Jaime saw a deeper, clearer love in Steve's eyes than she'd ever let herself acknowledge before, and Steve saw...something, too. Slowly, his eyes locked into hers, he lowered himself to sit down beside Jaime and raised a gentle hand to tenderly stroke her cheek, brushing away the trails of tears. He knew what he was seeing – recognized it instantly – but didn't dare to give it voice. That was up to Jaime.
Jaime knew exactly what was happening, too – and it was rocking her entire world. She knew, in theory, all about her past relationship with Steve and how strong it had been, but having it come flooding back into her heart, full force and all at once, was overwhelming.
"I was making love to you," Steve repeated.
"I know. Steve, I don't know how to say this...or even if I should say it, but...as ugly as this was today..." her voice trailed off as she searched for a way to describe it.
"I already know; your whole face just changed." He smiled tentatively as his fingertips grazed the palm of her hand then clasped it tightly. "You're back," he finished simply.
Jaime nodded, her eyes wide. "When I walked in there and saw you, I thought I was gonna die, and part of me wouldn't have minded if I had -"
"Jaime -"
"But seeing her with you, it was like seeing us. And now, I do see us. Steve...I can feel us!"
"I know." He reached up to catch the last tear before it could pearl on her cheek. "Are you...alright?"
Jaime nodded, mesmerized by a feeling that was deeper than she'd ever thought was possible. "I knew that what we had was strong – special – but I had no idea it was this...um..."
"Intense?"
"Yeah." Jaime sighed with relief; he understood. "Now I know why you kept waiting – for this."
"Why don't we go inside and talk about it?" Steve suggested.
"No – I can't go back in there where she was, where you and Lisa...not right now."
"I understand."
"Steve, I know we have to give reports to Oscar, and I have to tell Rudy what happened, but can we keep this part just for us – for a little while, anyway?"
Steve smiled at her. "Of course. I'll do whatever you need me to do, to make you comfortable." Oscar was giving them a little private time, but they both knew he was waiting in the house for them to make their statements. Steve's hand lingered a moment longer, reluctant to leave the soft skin of her face. "Want me to bring Oscar out here, so we can get it over with?"
"I suppose we have to." Jaime's eyes clung to Steve as he stood up. "Steve? I...I love you," she said with a quiet smile.
"I love you, too." I always will.
- - - - - -
Oscar took Steve and Jaime's statements and then got straight to the point. "Jaime, taking off on your own against my orders – under any other circumstances, you'd be reprimanded strongly for that. But you both had an experience today that no one should ever have to go through, and if there's anything I can do to help you deal with it, I don't want you to even hesitate to ask -"
"Give Lisa her own face back," Jaime demanded. "That's a good start."
"I'm already on it," Oscar confirmed. "Took care of that while you two were talking." He eyed them both closely. It was obvious to his well-trained powers of observation that something had happened between them while they'd had that talk. They seemed unified, drawn together by a tragic error into a strong, cohesive bond that made the ugliness seem not worthwhile, but at least a little easier to swallow. "How does a vacation sound, in terms of soothing your spirits?"
"Make it a long one," Jaime requested, smiling, "and make it a double."
- - - - - -
