\ A/N: I'm back again, even though I didn't get very many reviews. :D Anyways, please read and enjoy!! Oh so you know, I was kind of bored so I made the different names different types of font. Just as a warning. They're only the main characters too… so mainly Raoul, Christine, and The Phantom will have different fonts though I might do Madam Giry, Meg, or the Managers too.

Disclaimer: I own nothing… please don't send your lawyers after me. They make me cry.

Of Hanging and Dratted Woman Stealers

Narrator: Deep in the dark dangers of the Opera rafters, The Phantom of the Opera closed in on his prey. Let's take a closer look on this baffling act of Opera Ghost nature.

Phantom: (eye twitching) Haven't… hung anything… for a week. Madam Giry… cut me off… (head jerks)

Bouquet: Who's there?

Phantom: Just your sweet old granny dear! (in a high falsetto)

Bouquet: Oh thank goodness it's just you granny… what are you doing up here?

Phantom: (quietly tightening the Punjab lasso) Does a granny need an excuse to visit her only grandson? (still in high falsetto)

Bouquet: Why granny, what dark malicious eyes you have!

Phantom: (high falsetto) Um… the better to see you with??

Bouquet: Oh granny… what a strange mask you are wearing!

Phantom: The better to… umm… protect you from my frostbite!

Bouquet: Oh but granny, what a large Punjab lasso you have!

Phantom: (no longer in falsetto) THE BETTER TO STRANGLE YOU WITH!!

Bouquet: Eek! (tries to flee) I'm too drunk and beautiful to die!!

Phantom: (after roping Joseph around the neck) Hate to break it to you, but no one is gonna want to get it on with a corpse.

Bouquet: Aaaaaahhhh!!!!!!! (dies)

Narrator: Meanwhile, Christine was preparing for taking on such a large role.

Christine: I CAN'T LACE THE CORSETS!! (sniffle) I feel so allllooooneee!!!

Audience: SHRIEK!!!

Christine: Meh??

Narrator: The ballet girls certainly did receive a nasty surprise.

Meg: Lalalala… dance, dance, dance!!!

Phantom: What am I gonna do with the body?? (ponder, ponder) I'll throw it on the stage!! Wheeee!!!

Meg: Lalalalala… AAH!!! IT'S THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!!

Bouquet: (hanging)

Meg: Wait, no. It's just Bouquet!! (begins to flee the stage as well)

Raoul: Oh my god!! (begins to flee as well from Box Five)

Voice: AND STAY OUT OF MY BOX YOU INSIGNIFICATE FOP!!

Raoul: Meh??

Narrator: Christine made her way from the dressing room to see what in the world was going on.

Christine: Oh Raoul, thank goodness you're safe!

Raoul: Christine! I was trying to find you!! (sadly eyes the EXIT)

Christine: Oh… (pats Raoul's cheek) That's so sweet!

Raoul: Aww… I try!

Christine: Let's go onto the roof so that we can have a romantic escapade! Umm… (blushes) I mean… it will be safe from the Phantom there!

Raoul: Really? Well what the heck are we waiting for let's go!!

Narrator: The two young people made their way to the roof, stumbling over large steps in their hurry to get into the open air.

Raoul: There is no Phantom of the Opera! (loudly and with gusto)

Christine: But a few moments ago you were screaming about how you had to get away from him and pushed me so you could be first on the roof!

Raoul: No I didn't.

Christine: But Bouquet is dead! I disappeared for a whole evening!

Raoul: Bouquet is an idiot and apparently you were with me all night.

Christine: But… I wasn't with you.

Raoul: Well Christine, I've managed to convince myself that I simply had too much to drink and therefore cannot recall if you were with me or not.

Christine: What???? Oh that is classy… (sulks in the corner)

Raoul: Drat! Erm… Christine…

Christine: Yes Raoul? (hopeful)

Raoul: Take this extremely shiny nickel as a token of my love.

Christine: (gasp!) Oh Raoul! I love you! (grabs nickel and begins to stroke it)

Raoul: Really? Cause I love you too Christine! Anywhere you go let me go too… Christine that's all I ask of you!

Christine: Ugh… that makes you sound super clingy Raoul.

Raoul: But I loooooooveeee you!!!

Christine: Yeah, that's nice… (continues to stroke nickel)

Raoul: Christine, if you're going to spend more time with the nickel then maybe I should just leave! (begins to head towards the EXIT)

Christine: Okay…

Raoul: Okay, I was bluffing! There's still a creepy Phantom down there! (attaches to Christine's arm)

Christine: I thought there was no such thing as the Phantom of the Opera? (cocks an eyebrow)

Raoul: There isn't.

Christine: Men…

Raoul: I can protect you Christine! (Christine snorts) Come with me to my fancy home until the new season starts at least!

Christine: No.

Raoul: (sigh) (holds out a shiny quarter) Do you want the quarter? (in a high pitched teasing voice usually reserved for babies and dogs)

Christine: (gasp) Yes… (reaches for quarter)

Raoul: Then you have to follow me to my carriage…

Christine: And your fine horses?

Raoul: Yeah, sure, whatever.

Christine: Anywhere you go let me go too…

Raoul: Anywhere you go let me go too…

Narrator: And the lovely couple then exited the roof, forgetting all about a crazy Opera Ghost that was downstairs, and went to Raoul's fancy estate. Meanwhile, the Phantom had observed the whole incident. There happened to be a lasso sale a little down the road and he had taken a detour on the roof in time to hear Raoul and Christine profess their love to each other.

Phantom: I gave you my music… made your song take wing! And now, now you repay me. Denied me and betrayed me. He was bound to love you… when he heard you sing! Christine… (clutches Punjab lasso to comfort him and rubs it against his unmasked cheek)

Raoul's Echo: (baby voice) Do you want the quarter Christine?

Christine's Echo: Shiiiinnny!!

Phantom: (instantly stops crying) Hey! What's that echo? The acoustics were supposed to be fixed in this place.

Both: Anywhere you go let me go too…

Phantom: Hey! Stop echoing I say! Stop it this instant! (tightens lasso dangerously)

Both: Anywhere you go let me go too…

Phantom: RARRR!! YOU WILL CURSE THE DAY YOU DID NOT DO!! ALL THAT THE PHANTOM ASKED OF YOU! (shakes fists dangerously at the walls that were causing the echo)

I'm going to pull a Donald Trump here in a minute! (trips of the cape that he was swooshing frantically to make himself look more intimidating.)

(blushes) You didn't see that because it didn't happen.

Narrator: Sure Mr. Phantom, just keep telling yourself. Now go Punjab a cat or something.

A/N: Well, that was the interesting new chapter I guess. Please review and tell me what you thought. AND also tell me if you like me changing the fonts for all the character's names or not… it was kind of annoying but entertaining.