A/N: I'm back again!! Yayness!! Technically I shouldn't be working on this one quite yet (trying to circulate through my stories evenly) but I just kind of felt like writing this. Enjoy! Oh by the way, this will be from a scene from the play that I sorely missed in the movie… (sob) Well, actually two scenes. The first will be Notes 2 and the second will be Don Juan Rehearsals. Then it shall continue like normal.
Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera
Narrator: The next morning (long after the opera had been cast, I might add, by the Managers) the entire Opera House was in an uproar. The Managers and various other members had received letters from the Opera Ghost.
Firmin; WTF!!! I got another letter!!!
Andre: Well what do you know!! Me too!!
Firmin: I wonder what that blasted Phantom wants this time… (reads aloud)
Firmin,
You're such a loser! You have to fire some chorus members because they're losers too!! Find out which ones can actually sing in tune and fire the rest! Did I mention you're such a loser?
O.G.
Andre: That's kind of like mine… (reads aloud)
Andre,
Yo, you need to fire some of those orchestra people. There's this one guy that can't play in tune… unfortunately I don't know his name or his instrument because I only care about singing. Find out who he is and fire him immediately!
O.G.
Firmin: Who does his think is?? Ordering us around like servants… feh!
Andre: Now Firmin… we mustn't lose our temper. We can't afford to lose ANOTHER sceneshifter now can we?
Firmin: Oh blast it all… you're right. The ones we have now we have to pay extra because everyone else is too afraid to go up there after...
Carlotta: I 'ATE ALL OF YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!
Andre: Egad… you ate us?? Then why aren't we all in your stomach?
Piangi: You must add the "h" in there… her accent prevents her from making most sounds similar to it.
Carlotta: I got e letter dat sez I am not to play ze role!!! Christiiiiiine is!!
Narrator: Just then, Christine and Raoul entered the same room and overheard all the angry words being passed in there.
Christine: I've got the lead?? YIPPEE!!!!
Carlotta: Why you little!! (Carlotta pulls fist back to punch Christine's lights out)
Narrator: Luckily for Christine, Madam Giry came in at that moment with yet another letter.
MG: I'VE GOT A NOOOOOOTTEE!!! (waits for everyone to quiet down then begins to read aloud)
Dear… People,
I'm sure you have noticed I have left you various instructions concerning Don Juan Triumphant. Now I have a few more for you.
Piangi, you're way too fat and the only reason you have the part of Don Juan is because you are the only male within a hundred yards willing to wear the costume.
Carlotta is a hag and should die a horrible, painful death.
The Managers are imbeciles who need to realize that they are only here for show. I'm the one who runs this operation, yo.
The ballet girls need some help. Seriously. Less starving and more nutrition so that maybe they can focus enough on their dance steps to actually perform them.
And as for Christine… she would do wonderfully as the lead. If she weren't such a tramp I would totally still give her lessons so that she could improve and be the greatest thing opera has ever seen. Unfortunately, she IS a tramp and I hate her right now.
I'm sorry Christine… I don't mean it!! Come back to me!!
Anyway, if you don't obey me then I'll break a chandelier or something weird like that.
O.G.
Firmin: OH NO!! NOT THE CHANDELIER!!
Andre: Who would come to our operas if there wasn't an overrated and completely unnecessary chandelier hanging perilously over the audience?
Carlotta: Excuse me! Not the probleeem right now!! 'Ave you seeen the size of my pert? (shows others her scripted part)
Script: Carlotta dances on the stage in a cheap and tasteless outfit. She then promptly stops in the center and begins to open her mouth to sing. Just then, a violent crowd rushes to her and begin shooting her with rather large machine guns. Her body is then taken to the back of the stage and forgotten.
Firmin: Oh come now, is that really necessary? We all know he doesn't like her but honestly!
Raoul: And it's written hastily in pencil… I think he may have just added that in at the last second when he realized Carlotta still needed a part.
Christine: Wow… you think?? By the way, what's a tramp?
Carlotta: This obviously all Christine's fault!! THE LITTLE TRAMP!!
Andre and Firmin: We agree with you… but we must follow the Phantom's orders!
Christine: What's a tramp!! (in a high and whiny voice)
Raoul: Hey! There must be a way to stop the Phantom!
MG: Yeeeeeaaaahhh… good luck with that.
Raoul: (light bulb) But you surely know some sort of weakness he might have… something to stop him.
MG: (dramatically) I cannot tell you! But I can tell you what it sounds like. Pristine.
Raoul: I don't know what that's supposed to be!!
Christine: Umm… guys?
Managers: Christine must go through with the opera!
Raoul: Hey! Christine doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to!
Managers: But the chandelier
Carlotta: I for one am fine with 'er dropping out!
Christine: Now this is just getting insulting…
Raoul: She won't go through with it! It's far too dangerous!
Narrator: And then a shouting match ensues. Christine feels stuck in the middle and suddenly very, very afraid. Plus, she just really wants her original question answered. She has no idea what a tramp is supposed to be. Eventually it got to the point where Christine could no longer stand the arguing over whether she would perform in the play or not.
Christine: HEY!! I'M THE STAR AND I SAID STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT, STOOOOPP!!
Everyone Else: Whoa…
Raoul: You see! I told you! She's too afraid to go into the Phantom's play!
Christine: I'm just sick of everyone trying to decide what it is that I'll do!
MG: Oh sweetie, didn't you ever notice? That's all we ever do. Without us telling what's right and wrong you would be a complete mess!
Christine: (gasp!)
Raoul: It's really not so bad… having someone think for you Christine.
Christine: (gasp!) Well I'm going to make my own decision about this! (pouts)
Managers: (sigh) All right, you can decide. Will you perform or not?
Raoul: You've got about… (glances at pocket watch) three minutes to decide love. No pressure.
Christine: (dramatically) OH RAOUL! Don't make me do this! Your plan is bound to fail and when it does I shall be gone forever!
Raoul: Two and a half minutes left.
Christine: When he takes me… he'll always be there! (Carlotta rolled her eyes and whispered 'well duh' to Piangi) He'll always be there singing songs in my head! (begins to cry)
Carlotta: She's gone #& mad!
Raoul: (sigh) You don't have to if you don't want to. Two minutes left. And I'm not trying to be insensitive or whatever but all of our hopes and prayers rest on you.
Christine: (no longer really paying attention) Twisted every way what answer can I give? Am I to risk my life to win the chance to live?
Raoul: One and a half minutes left.
Christine: Can I betray the man who once inspired my voice? (Raoul makes a face) Do I become his prey? (Raoul looks more enthusiastic) Do I have any choice he kills without a thought… he murders all that's good! I know I can't refuse (delighted looks from the managers) and yet I wish I could.
Raoul: Grr…
Christine: Oh god if I agree what horrors wait for me… in this the Phantom's opera?
Managers: That's weird… that last bit you sang sounds a lot like the title of this whole musical!
Narrator: They all stared at the Managers uncomfortably.
Raoul: Oh Christine… give me a hug! (proceeds to try and give Christine a simple affectionate hug)
Christine: NO! Get away from me! (runs off stage in tears)
MG: (shakes head sadly) I knew her using her brain would be too much for her. (runs after Christine)
Raoul: Women and their hormones… (curses silently to himself)
Managers: Well, we got what we wanted. Cheerio, see you all at practice later today.
Narrator: And soon play rehearsals commenced for Don Juan Triumphant. Madam Giry had calmed poor Christine (whose head ached for quite a while after thinking so hard) and convinced her to attend as well. Unfortunately, they were having some problems with Piangi…
Piangi: Those who BLAH with Don Juan!
Conductor: I think the line is "Those who TANGLE with Don Juan". Please try again Monsieur Piangi.
Piangi: Those who BLAH with Don Juan!
Conductor: IT'S TANGLE! TANGLE, NOT BLAH!!!
Piangi: It's my accent… I am so sorry…
Conductor: I understand you have an accent but… this is just ridiculous!
Carlotta: It sounds better this way. It makes more sense than what that wrinkled old fart wrote!
MG: (mysteriously slipping into the practice room) I would not speak ill of the composer…
Everyone Else: How do you DO that?
MG: Beware the Phantom of the Opera… hold your hands at the level of your eyes… (disappears)
Everyone Else: WHAT?!
Narrator: And then a screaming match ensued. Carlotta looked like she was going to tear apart any who dared speak to her and some were screaming at Piangi to get the line right. Meanwhile, the poor Conductor was trying his best to calm everyone down. Then… suddenly…
Piano: (plays Don Juan Triumphant perfectly but no one is pressing the keys)
Everyone Else: (sings Don Juan as if in a trance)
Christine: Wow… everyone but me is in a weird zombie state and singing a ridiculous opera song when they sucked before. Perhaps I should just leave… (skips out of the room into a cab waiting for her outside of it)
"Cab Driver Who is Really The Phantom": Where to little Miss. Sexy! (eyes lowcut dress approvingly)
Christine: Oh, the usual.
CDWIRTP: Alright! To the old, creepy and dismal cemetery we go!
Narrator: Christine, never suspecting that the Phantom has whacked all of her cab drivers so that he could drive her instead all these years to the cemetery, willingly accepted the ride to her father's grave. Why on earth she decided to go there, I wouldn't know. Perhaps it was for dramatic plotline…
A/N: Meh… I don't like this chapter as much. Just so you know. Well, tune in next time to see what will happen now! I will say that it includes hypnotic beams and a return of a not-so-dead person. Review!