Disclaimer: I still don't own Supernatural or its characters. I and am not making any money on this…I'm just having fun!

Secrets

Chapter 3 – Secret Revealed

The first thing Sam became aware of was the smell of fresh coffee as he opened his eyes. His head was still sore, but at least the pain was manageable. "Dean?" Sam croaked as he tried to open his weary eyes. He was still exhausted, but he knew that they had to get moving to the small town in Indiana.

"Morning sunshine! I knew this would wake you." Dean said as he placed the hot cup of coffee on the nightstand. He watched as Sam slowly sat up, wincing and rubbing his temples. He didn't miss Sam's hand shaking as he reached for the cup of coffee. His brother was really looking bad.

"Why don't you jump into the shower Sam? I'll finish getting our stuff loaded so we can get on the road."

"You found the bar then…how far Dean?" Sam was glad that Dean had done the research. He was barley able to form a coherent thought, much less start a search for the bar in his vision.

"Yep, if we hurry we can be there by tonight." Dean watched as Sam stood on unsteady legs. He quickly moved to place a steady hand on Sam's back. "Take it easy Sam…I've got you."

"Thanks Dean." Sam replied as he moved towards the shower.

A short time later both boys were once again in the Impala on their way to the small town in Indiana and the Blue Oyster Bar and Grill. Dean was playing his music, but out of consideration of Sam's headache, he had kept the volume on low.

Sam continued to look out the window. Two visions in less than 24 hours and he still had no idea what they were walking into. God he was so tired of all of this…he couldn't shake the feeling that he was standing on the edge of a knife, no matter which way he went, something bad was going to happen. He thought about the demon's words again and wondered what he had meant.

He knew that Dean didn't want to accept that Sam might be a monster. With the exception of Andy, all the children born in 1983 who had special abilities were turning evil. What if it was only a matter of time before he gave in or until the demon forced him to serve him? His father was the strongest man he knew and he wasn't able to keep the demon from possessing him and almost killing Dean. How was Sam supposed to stand up against that?

Dean heard his brother sigh and looked over at him. He could tell by Sam's features that he was worried. "What's up Sam?"

"Nothing Dean…I'm just tired." Sam really didn't want to burden Dean with anything more. His father's order for Dean to protect him was more than enough of a burden for Dean to carry.

"That's crap Sam...I can tell you're worried about something, now spill it." Dean watched as Sam sighed and turned to look outside the window.

"Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I hadn't been born Dean?"

"Whoa where did that come from?"

"I mean, what if fate had played you a different hand Dean…what if you had been able to continue the family life you had before I came into the picture…you know you and Mom and Dad."

"Sam, where are you going with this? There is no such thing as fate…there is always a choice. You weren't to blame for what happened Sam, the demon gets that honor. I thought we had this ironed out already."

"Dean, I keep thinking about what the demon said. He has plans for me…put that with Bobby telling us about the increase in demonic possessions and the increase in the number of visions I've been having…what if I end up on the wrong side Dean?"

"Sam, you are not a killer and you will never willingly do anything to help the demon. You just gotta have a little faith Sam, faith that things will work out."

"Yeah, like that ever really works for us Dean…look what happened to Dad. He's suffering because of a deal he made; he had to make to save you because I was too weak to stand up to the demon."

"Sam, Dad made his choice. I'm not saying I agree with it…and believe me I'm having trouble accepting it. But he did it because he loved both of us and he knew that you would need me."

Sam paused and looked at Dean. "What do you mean Dean? Why would I need you?"

Sam watched as Dean swallowed nervously. His brother was never nervous. "Dean I know that you've been hiding something from me ever since Dad died. What did he tell you Dean?" Sam asked quietly.

Dean gripped the steering wheel more tightly. "Look Sam, Dad did tell me something before he died…but I…I just didn't know how to tell you what he said." Dean looked at Sam, his eyes begging for his brother's understanding.

"He knew didn't he Dean…He knew all along what the demon meant and never told me. What is it Dean?" Sam couldn't keep the hurt from his voice.

"Sam, Dad loved you. He just didn't think you were ready to handle it. Hell, I'm not even sure I'm ready or even believe it. Look he told me that there were more children like you Sam…children who have special abilities."

"Well that's no big revelation Dean…we already figured that out on our own." Sam said dryly.

"He told me that some of these children had already been turned but that you were the key to stopping the demon's plans. He told me to watch out for you Sam because he knew that you would be targeted and he wanted you to be safe. That's all he was trying to do Sam…he thought that I was the best person to make sure that the demon would never be able to get to you Sam."

"I understand why Dad never told me about this Dean…but why couldn't you tell me? Why did you lie to me Dean when I asked you what Dad told you?" Sam couldn't hide the hurt he felt and the betrayal. Dean had never lied to him before…he may have shaded the truth a little…but he had never lied. "What else haven't you told me Dean?"

Dean knew Sam would be upset and he didn't blame Sam for being mad. "Sam, I couldn't tell you because…because I was afraid…I had just lost Dad and I was afraid if I told you what he said, you'd leave me too. I'm sorry; I know it was wrong…"

"Wrong…damn right Dean. I trusted you…Oh hell. I really am tired of this shit. I'm the one with the family curse firmly affixed to my back and yet no one thought I should know about it. Just great Dean!"

Sam closed his eyes effectively terminating the conversation. He didn't want to talk about it any more.

"Sam…look, I'm sorry I lied to you, but I promise that's all he told me. Hell, what he told me doesn't really mean a thing Sam, we already had guessed most of it and the rest, well it doesn't really tell us how to handle it. I don't think Dad even knew for sure what was coming and he certainly didn't know how to prevent it. He spent his whole life preparing us Sam for what he thought might be coming. But how does he know? You will never convince me that you were meant to be some sort of evil being sent to destroy the world Sam…do you hear me?" Dean looked over at Sam; his worst fears confirmed as his brother just turned his face away from him without saying a word. He had lost his brother and he had no idea how to get him back.

The miles continued to pass as Sam sat in silence. He really wasn't mad at Dean; actually he was more worried about his brother than angry. He knew that Dean saw himself as a shield against the evil that was coming for Sam. That and he was disappointed that Dean obviously thought he was too weak to handle the truth. But then, maybe he was right. Sam had his own doubts that when the time came, he would be able to do what was needed to defeat the demon.

Suddenly Sam made a decision. He was tired of just waiting around for things to happen. It was time he took back some control in his life. His father had spent his life looking for the demon, but obviously the demon was manifesting in a way that made it impossible for him to be tracked. But what if Sam started to look for the special children? If he could get there before the demon, maybe like Andy, he could warn them and keep them from making a mistake in following the demon. Weber had said the demon appeared to him in a dream and it appeared that Weber was not possessed, but had welcomed what the demon had offered him.

"Dean?"

"Yeah Sam?" Dean turned hopeful eyes towards his brother.

"We need to go to the road house…I need to talk to Ash. You and I can't handle this alone anymore…we are going to need more help."

"What about your visions Sam?" Dean asked, worried about his brother if he ignored the visions.

"To hell with them Dean…I'm tired of being led around. If you don't want to go, you can drop me off at the bus station…"

"You sure Sam?"

"I'm sure Dean. Do you need me to drive for a while?" Sam knew that Dean hadn't gotten much sleep the night before.

"No I'm good…you get some rest Sam and I'll wake you when we get there….and Sammy?"

"Yeah Dean?" Sam asked, already closing his eyes.

"Thanks for understanding."

Sam sighed. He didn't want to hurt Dean, but he also knew that what he was planning was probably going to hurt him more than anything else had recently. "I'm sorry too Dean…" Sam murmured as he let himself fall into a fitful sleep.

TBC

Raven524: So the secret is finally out…but will our boys be able to move forward? And what about Sam's visions? Can he really ignore them? Guess I better get writing to find out (wink). Thanks for all the great reviews. A few have asked if I had any inside knowledge…unfortunately, my telepathic link to the writers of SN is on the fritz…so this is all pure speculation on my part. Don't forget to push the little button and feed the writer!