Remus remained there trying to read in grief, but his concentration had left with Sirius. He eventually fell asleep on the couch, the book cradled in his arm. He awoke to a prod in the back, and opened his eyes to find that it was James.
"G'morning, Moony!"
Remus sat up groggily.
"Why didn'tcha go to bed last night, man?"
"I- what? I was- caught up in a book." Remus stretched and rubbed his eye. Peter appeared by James' side. "Where's Padfoot?" Remus asked.
"Paddy went to breakfast earlier. Guess he was hungry. Hurry up, Remus, I am too! "
"Of course." The three of them went downstairs to breakfast to find no Sirius Black.
"Where do you think he's gone?" asked Remus.
"Mm, I dunno, probably off to finish some homework or something," suggested James.
"When has he ever voluntarily done homework, James?" Remus questioned.
"Well, this could be his first!" piped Peter, who was ignored.
"I'm going to go find him," Remus said, standing, and left a half-eaten plate of food, into which James plunged his fork.
Remus checked the common room and the dorms, when he thought to look outside. He peered down at the grounds through the window, and recognized a dark shape in the shadow of a tree near the bank.
As he crossed the lawn, he realized that he did not know what to say to his friend when he got to him.
"Hi, Moony," Sirius said without turning.
"Er, hi." Remus responded. He glanced upward, since Sirius wouldn't look at him. The sky was gray and solid-looking. "I, um, about last night, I'm sorry I don't-"
"No, it's fine," Sirius finally turned to face him, forcing a smile. "I should be sorry. I should've been more sure about your feelings first. It's fine."
"Really? You're sure? Cause-"
"Really. C'mon, we'll be late for Slughorn's," he said with another forced smile.
Remus walked to class alongside Sirius, thoughts racing through his head. He didn't like the idea of his best friend liking him- a lot. He knew it wouldn't be the same between the two of them until Sirius gave up on it, and Sirius wasn't a quitter. Remus decided that their friendship was doomed forever and he didn't like that idea either.
When they met up with James and Peter in the dungeons, Remus saw that Sirius threw them a jovial grin in greeting, but as soon as they turned their backs, his expression turned placid once more.
On a parchment during History, Remus wrote:
Sirius, don't think you have me fooled. I know you're still mad at me. Again, I'm sorry. You're my friend. I'd at least like to keep that.
He slid it across the table to Sirius, who scribbled something on it and slid it back to him. Remus lowered his head to read the note:
You're right. I am still mad at you.
He thought to himself 'Ouch.'
Sirius then reached for the note and scribbled more.
But it's not your fault.
Your Friend,
Sirius
Remus smiled to himself. When they left for the common room, he asked Sirius what he thought about the Chudley Cannons' unexpected win that week, and was relieved to have Sirius spout off his own forecast for the team. He had his friend back.
Remus did not sleep well that night. All through his head swam visions of Sirius on broomsticks zooming through solid gray skies, and Slughorn confiscating notes, and Sirius, and piles of books that for some reason he couldn't read, and Sirius, and James prodding him awake, and Sirius' voice echoing on his skull, "So intelligent…" "So handsome..." And Sirius walked toward him, out of a grey cloud and whispered in his ear, "So perfect…" and pressed his lips onto Remus', to hold him in an embrace from which he couldn't break free. But the worst event, that Remus later recalled to himself had turned the dream into a nightmare was his voluntary action of kissing Sirius back- and enjoying it.
