There are times when you can't focus, like everything but what you're supposed to be doing is that much more interesting. Don't help trying to focus on it even harder, neither. The more ya try to resist, the harder it gets. The kinda thing that happens in tests, exams, studying, working. Hell, anything. I can't count the number of times I've looked up from the blackboard at the kids in front of me and seen them there physically, but in their heads, they're a million miles away.
My mind wasn't that far, just across to the next town, Brahms. But for all of that, it was like a world away. Or further. I couldn't shake the memories. That look on Angela's face had set me off thinking about Suzy and Jeff. Or, Jeff's attack on her, anyway. She'd spent the rest of her time there looking like Angela did just then, scared sick to her stomach and lookin so very hurt.
Looking under the seats, I saw Suzy's face as I walked in on them in the locker room. Peering behind tapestries I saw Jeff feeling behind her blouse. Looking over to Angela, I saw Suzy skulking in the corners and hallways, trying to avoid everyone. Just in case. Kate caught me looking and I flashed her what I hoped was a reassuring grin. She scowled, guess she wasn't in the mood to be reassured.
I tried to focus on the search, but couldn't concentrate. I probably missed some real important clue about twenty times cause of that, but what can ya do?
I'd been working late that night, even the janitors had gone home for the day, but I had stuff to catch up on. Seems like some folks think a school should be all about paperwork and nothing about actually teaching. You wanna keep the job, though, you gotta keep up with the paperwork. So I was keeping up. Or trying to. Kicked it in for the day, though, and headed home. My route through the school building to the car park took me past the sports hall and locker rooms. That's where I heard it. Not much of a noise, the sorta thing the news reporter to your mind would put back to page 23 on a normal time, just between the international business and the obituaries, a dead zone. You'd hear a little shriek all the damn time during the school day, recess games or hallway gossip, but it was past six there, even the football team staying late for practice had gone home, and science club woulda been packing up their astronomy kit (a short telescope, a notebook and a whole lotta hope) and heading home. So why this little squeal, suddenly cut off, and... just as you strain to hear it, a muffled voice?
A door had closed off down the hall, and I went to check it out. I shoulda been the only one there, and if someone had gotten in to mess with the kids there... well, that just wouldn't fly. No sir. I made it down the hallway nice and quiet, making sure not to breathe heavy or trip over anything. A steel pipe stood up against the wall, leftovers from the plumbers who'd fixed the showers earlier that day. Only 3 foot long, and a bit rusty, but it'd do. As I got closer to the door of the boys' locker room, the muffled voice got louder, and I picked up the pace. A high-pitched yell rang out 'No! Leave me alone, please! Stop touching me!' A slap and a sudden intake of breath, and the girl's voice squealed in pain. I had reached the door now, and kicked the fucking thing wide open.
I looked up from staring under the seat, someone stood right by me. Kate crouched down, bringing her face level with mine. "You keep staring at Angela like that, I'll start to think I can't trust you," she said, nice and quiet, probably trying to keep the kid calm, made sense I guess.
"Sorry," I said. "I just... I guess I feel bad, ya know? After how I was before to her and all. Just looking at her now, I..." I waved my hands helplessly. I knew I'd acted like some complete asshole, and to a girl who looked to be even worse off than Suzy was, but how to make it up? Specially when I couldn't even convince Kate to stop pointing her gun at me. I tried again. "There was a girl back in Brahms High, where I used to work. She got in trouble. Or, Jeff made trouble for her, and -"
Kate interrupted me, "Jeff? That thing back in the mall?" I nodded, slowly, keeping an eye on the handgun she had levelled at my belly, outta sight of Angela. All the better to scare you with, my dear.
"Yeah, him. He grabbed her after school one night and... well, if I hadn't gotten there in time, it woulda been bad."
Her face softened, the gun point lowered. I could have grabbed it off her, I guess. Woulda made a kinda sense, but only if I'd wanted to risk her never trusting me again. Place like this, a gun as self-defense aint just a constitutional luxury, it's a survive-the-next-hour necessity. "You stopped him raping her, and he wanted to pay you back? That why he wanted you so much deader than me?"
I shrugged. "I guess so. That and some other stuff. You know the academic and all"
"So you really did fail him?"
"Yeah, and not just for the studies. He needed to get kicked out, so I... I guess you could say I sabotaged things a little bit.'
"Cause of Suzy?"
A flash of Suzy's face, cold and pale in the rain, mud spattering her pretty dress. "Yeah," I said, "Cause of Suzy" Splat of cold mud on cold skin. Azure eyes closed against the unfeeling moon. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Pulled myself together. Because of Suzy.
"We were in the haunted house," Kate told me, "It's haunted alright, but not by puppet ghosts. More like..." Her turn to flail helplessly for words. "...like shadows of people's own evil. Or something, I dunno. Your past catching up to you, or something." She looked scared saying it, and my betting was she was glad she'd gotten outta there before it had caught up to her. Kept quiet though, just in case saying it broke our little piece of peace.
"So it caught up with her pretty bad, huh?" I asked quietly.
She looked me over coolly. I guess she was trying to figure how much to tell me. How far could she trust me? "Yeah, it caught up to her pretty bad. Suzy got off light by comparison." said Kate.
Ashes to ashes, mud to mud. I looked at Angela. I'd certainly never seen Suzy look that bad. But then, and I remembered those eyes shut against the mud and the moon, I hadn't seen Suzy that much. Not enough to keep her safe after all. I guess I didn't try hard enough. This time, though...
"Will she be ok?" I asked Kate. "Is there anything I can do?" She smiled at me. A real smile.
"No." She said, and put her hand on mine. "But thanks for asking. The Dog was with her just now, I think she needs time to recover by herself before she can talk, ya know?"
I stiffened. The Dog? "Can't say I like that mutt much," I said, "but if it helps the kid with... whatever caught up to her, I guess it can't be that bad."
She grinned and pushed at me. "Come on, old man. We gotta get outta here before I start thinking you're a nice guy or something and the world gets even crazier." I watched her walk away, what they used to call 'walkin wavy', shook my head and turned back to the search. This kid was turning out to be one hell of a lot more than just some piece of ass. And Angela... well, maybe somehow I could make up for Suzy.
Footsteps behind me made me grin. "Forget something, kid?" A black boot came down, just missing my hand. Smell of leather and smoke. I looked up, my stomach in knots, and found myself eye to muzzle with an outstretched handgun.
"Not quite, Mr Crawley" said the Dark Man at my side. "I haven't forgotten anything today"