Fooling Ourselves

Chapter 10: Please Don't Leave

A/N: I managed to write another chapter. I'm not making any promises about how long it'll take me to get the next one up but we will see.

Olivia steeled instantly, hoping he was still groggy enough to be easily placated, she said quietly "Nothing Elliot, go back to sleep."

"Did you really think you could pull that one off?" he asked, half jokingly, as he got up and walked towards her "Not even Elizabeth tries to sneak out in the middle of the night. So what are you doing?" he asked and even in the relative darkness, Olivia could see the no-nonsense look in his eyes.

Olivia shrugged and followed him back to the couch. She dropped down beside him as she had done that afternoon. Keeping her voice low so as not to wake anyone, she began "I just got a phone call," she paused and tried to organize her thoughts "He… whoever it is who's after Zack and me…" she found that words seemed to be failing her "He said… he would…" she couldn't speak.

Elliot pulled her close "Shhhhh," he soothed. "We'll find out where that call came from, we'll get you and Zack round the clock protection, we'll-"

"I can't," she whispered "I have to leave. It's better for all of you. He knows… he knows about you Elliot." She buried her face in his chest, desperate to feel him, to know that he was there with her before she would have to tear herself away and run again.

"Olivia," Elliot said in a soft yet commanding tone as he rubbed small circles down her back "Look at me."

She pulled back just far enough that she could look into his eyes. What she saw made the tears come faster. There was only determination and love and she could feel that he was never going to give up on her. She opened her mouth to object and he covered her lips with his fingers.

"I never stopped loving you," he said honestly "I know a lot of things have changed but I just want you to know that there is no way I am going to let anything happen to you or your son. Do you believe me?"

She nodded but as soon as his fingers fell from her lips she said "But your kids Elliot…"

"You've been using my kids as an excuse for far too long Olivia," he said sternly "You have to accept my help on this one okay?"

"What if he comes here?" she asked "What if something happens to Dickie or Elizabeth or Rose because of me?"

"Olivia, you've got to trust me that I know how to protect you and my family," Elliot told her.

She nodded "I do trust you," she whispered "But…" she trailed off and when she spoke next, her voice was so small that Elliot could barely hear it even though he was only centimeters from her face "I'm afraid."

"I know," Elliot whispered back and the two of them stared into each other's eyes for a long time. He hadn't realized until now just how much he had missed being able to look into her eyes. It had been far too long.

Olivia moved her lips closer to his slightly and then, before either of them knew what was happening, their lips had met. They pulled apart just as quickly as it had happened and both looked away. There was so much that Olivia wanted to tell him; she had never stopped loving him either and in fact she probably loved him even more now because he wasn't just offering to keep her safe but he had promised to keep her son safe as well. She was about to say something when Zack began to cry. She stood up and went to pick him up. When she did, she noticed that the window was open. She got to the window just in time to see a figure retreating down the fire escape. She clutched her son to her chest as she sank to the floor, consumed by pure terror that someone had gotten so close "Elliot," she called out in a hoarse whisper that was meant to be a scream.

He ran into the room and saw the open window. He feared the worst until he realized that he could still hear Zack crying. That was when he looked down and saw Olivia, huddled on the floor with her son held close to her. He knelt down beside her "Liv," he whispered, fumbling for his cell phone "What happened?"

Olivia pointed at the window with a shaking finger "He… down the fire escape…" she crumpled again, fear overtaking her as Zack continued to cry in her arms.

Elliot separated from her long enough to go to the window and peer out into the darkness, he saw no one. He closed the window and returned to where Olivia was on the floor "Shhhhhh," he said softly as he held her and went back and forth with Downing.

Olivia only heard bits and pieces of what Elliot was saying; she only had eyes for her son. She had completely ignored the note that had been left on the bed beside him. Zack wouldn't stop crying though it probably had more to do with Olivia's inability to stop crying herself than anything else.

Elliot hung up from talking to Downing "He's sending CSU over hear and Munch and Fin are taking all of us to the precinct. We'll decide what to do from there," he gently pulled Zack from Olivia's arms and rocked him gently. The little boy stopped crying but continued to look at his mother with apprehension and confusion "It's okay," Elliot said quietly, moving the baby so he was resting against Elliot's shoulder. He stood up and extended a hand down to Olivia "Come on," he smiled reassuringly at her "Let's go tell the kids to pack."

Olivia stood up and numbly followed Elliot out of the bedroom. She squeezed Elliot's hand and he squeezed back "I'm sorry," she whispered and hung her head only to have Elliot gather her in his arms and kiss her again, except this time, even in the presence of Zack, they didn't pull away or try to act like it didn't happen.

"I promise you," he said as confidently and firmly as he had said it earlier "Nothing will happen to either of you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot tiptoed to the crib and slowly opened the door. He smiled softly as the light from the doorway fell across the three nearest cots. Elizabeth, Dickie and Rose were fast asleep. The twins hadn't been too thrilled about being awoken in the middle of the night and told to pack their things but when the situation was explained, they'd been more than happy to cooperate. As Elliot stood in the doorway, he wished that Olivia had chosen to get some sleep too. Instead, she was downstairs, sitting in what had been her chair long ago, keeping Zack close to her and not letting anyone but Elliot take him from her once in a while.

Elliot softly closed the door and headed downstairs. The squad room was nearly empty. Downing was in his office and the door was closed. Chester, who had been exiled from his desk for the moment, and had nothing else to do at the moment, was sitting on the corner of Elliot's and watching Olivia. Every few minutes, he would ask if she needed anything only to be rebuffed with a sharp 'no' from Olivia.

Elliot walked over to Chester and gave him a pat on the shoulder "Don't take it personally. She's had a rough night," Elliot glanced in Olivia's direction and pulled a couple of bucks out of his pocket "Hey," he said to Chester "Could you go get me a couple of bottles of water from the machine."

"Sure," Chester said, glad for something to do. He took the money from Elliot and headed down the hell to the vending machine.

Elliot pulled his desk chair around to where Olivia sat "You do know that's not your desk anymore?" he asked conversationally.

"I'm not in the mood to be messed with," she told him simply "He can have his desk back when I'm done with it."

"When do you think that'll be?" Elliot asked, taking the now asleep Zack from his mother's arms "He's a good guy," Elliot said, referring to Chester.

"I'm sure he is," Olivia said quietly "I just don't want to deal with anyone right now," he could see her eyes glistening with tears again.

Elliot decided now was as good a time as any to tell her what Downing had suggested. He cleared his throat "Downing thinks I should take you out of state until all of this cools down."

Olivia looked up "Not the worst idea I've heard all night," she mused "But this doesn't seem like the kind of thing that will 'cool down' all that easily if at all."

"It won't take long to find this guy," Elliot said confidently "Downing thinks that you'd be safer somewhere that he wouldn't think to look for you."

"He's not just looking for me," Olivia said "He wants something he thinks I have or at least know where to find it. And whatever it is, it sounded like he's pretty determined to get it."

"It still couldn't hurt to get out of town for a day or two," Elliot told her.

"Are you speaking as Detective Stabler, the cop or Elliot Stabler, the man who would do any stupid thing to save someone he cares about?" she asked.

"What's so stupid about getting out of town for a few days?" Elliot said defensively.

"Would you be planning to bring all of your children on this little getaway?" Olivia questioned.

"I don't see where this is going," Elliot looked at her sternly "Why can't you just do something to keep yourself safe for once?"

"What?" Olivia asked "It isn't safe for anyone who's around me!" she finally snapped, standing up and waking Zack in the process "He said he'd kill anyone who got in his way," she tried to run for the roof but Elliot managed to catch her with one hand.

Keeping Zack, who was now crying, balanced on one shoulder, he held Olivia's gaze with fiery blue eyes "Don't you dare run away," he said firmly "I don't blame you for running away two and a half years ago but God help me, I will blame you if you run now."

This got Olivia's attention and she returned to her seat "If I stay, he might…" she trailed off and looked away.

"And if you go, there's no guarantee that he won't still come after me or my kids or anyone for that matter but there's a much bigger chance that he'll do God knows what to you and God Damn it Olivia there is no way I'm just gonna stand here and let that happen."

He had kept his voice as even as possible but at the end it cracked and Olivia saw the tears in his eyes. She reached forwards and engulfed him in a huge hug, careful of her son who had started to settle down again "El," she whispered "I'm sorry. I just can't… when I think of what might happen to you if…"

"And you think I never thought about what might happen to you?" he asked almost indignantly "That it didn't hurt to think that someone could… Do you not realize how much you mean to me?"

She didn't say anything. She simply held him, her cheek pressed against his as their tears blended.

After a long silence Elliot cupped her face with his hand and looked into her eyes "Please don't leave?"

Olivia gave him a watery smile as she leaned in and kissed him. She finally understood. It was time to stop running away. It was time to make a stand and fight for what she wanted, had wanted for years. As she pulled back and noticed Munch, Fin and Chester entering the bullpen, she replied "I'm not going anywhere."

A/N: I just needed some EOness and I think it was high time Elliot gave her a piece of his mind about the running away thing she keeps doing. Next chapter will have more to do with who called Olivia and what Dean took from who. Surprises are ahead.