A/N I hope you saw Star Wars III. I have a couple references here…
Today's Tekken, the Documentary, is brought to you by:
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For those of you who don't own the big T5, here's the scoop: You can customize your characters! You can make Hwoarang fight with a Guitar strapped to his back! Grow Jin's hair out or make him look like dear old daddy! Turn Panda green (or any other primary or secondary color you fancy). You can also buy entirely new costumes to customize and wreck! But by far the nastiest, creepiest occurrence would be the choice of buying Christies final costume. No, it's not what you're thinking. You freaking dirty pervert. No, she can apparently put on Eddy, because Eddy himself is her costume. Yes, her Brazilian Capoira Master with the cool dreadlocks Eddy. She wears him. We investigate the conspiracy, ladies and gentlemen, this is not for the faint at heart, viewer discretion is advised, but hell, no one cares if you use discretion or not, so here goes.
At Tekken 4, where our favorite busty Brazilian was introduced, Eddy had mysteriously disappeared. He went to get revenge for his father's debt. I mean death. So he's gone, and his student, Christie, goes to find him.
Fast-forward to her ending. She's up there on stage (after beating diaper-Heihachi) and suddenly she thinks she sees Eddy (with a cast on his arm) standing around in the crowd! She finds him and for a moment, everyone's happy. End tape, the movie is over. What you do not see: she finds out he was trying to abandon her, which would explain his sudden disappearance. So she goes all Anakin Skywalker on him in a mood reflecting volcanic planet, underestimates a jump (stupid teenagers. Think their freaking invincible…) and dies. Oh, wait. No, Eddy tries to help her, but she accidentally pulls on his broken arm (remember the cast?) Eddy falls on a really sharp Brazilian-hating rock and dies.
As our resources tell us, Christie was suddenly aware that her Grandpa would want to see his student- her master, Eddy. So she… well, she wore Eddy to her grandpa's….
Case Closed
Next time the disturbing Pedophilia of Ganyru (that's the liking and touching of kids, for the uneducated. Thanks Omnicient Shadow for the idea.)