Fooling Ourselves

Chapter 20: Hideaway

A/N: I might be going away this weekend and I just wanted to get this chapter up before I left, I promise there are no evil cliffhangers this time. Please enjoy and as always, if you have time, I'd really appreciated it if you used that time to send me a review and let me know if you like what I'm doing.

Olivia was surprised when she woke up, surprised because she didn't remember falling asleep. It had been a peaceful sleep, one without nightmares or any dreams of any kind for that matter. She could feel Elliot's strong arms wrapped around her waist. She separated herself from him and sat up.

Rose was sitting up in bed "Morning Livvie," she called brightly.

"Morning honey," Olivia replied softly. She was amazed by how the little girl could seem so cheerful after everything that had happened to her. Olivia wondered if Rose had already suppressed the memory or something to that effect. God knew Olivia would give anything to be able to suppress that memory.

Olivia got up and crossed to the bed. She bent down and enveloped the little girl in a huge hug "How are you feeling this morning?" she asked.

"Good," Rose smiled. She looked up at Olivia "Livvie, I hungry. Oatmeal pwease?"

Olivia smiled "Sure honey, I'll go ask the nurse." She turned to leave the room. On her way out she passed the cot. She bent and shook Elliot's shoulder gently "Wake up sleepy head," she teased.

His eyes popped open and he smiled at her "Morning yourself," he said sleepily, sitting up.

"I'm gonna go talk to the nurse," Olivia told him "I'll be right back."

Elliot nodded. He stood up and went over to his daughter "Morning sweetie," he smiled down at her.

"Morning Dada," she greeted with enthusiasm. Zack began to stir and Rose gestured to the crib with her arm "Morning Zacky," she beamed.

Elliot went to the crib and picked up Zack "And how are you this morning buddy?" he cooed to the boy. Zack simply burbled and blew a spit bubble. "Is that some secret baby speak for happy?" Elliot asked, carrying him over to Rose's bed and sitting down beside it.

Olivia walked back into the room with a tray with Rose's oatmeal and a couple of muffins for her and Elliot in one hand and a bottle full of formula for Zack in the other. She stopped in her tracks watching Elliot with the kids. He was helping Rose to hold Zack and she was being gentle with him, being careful not to touch his "Owies". Olivia smiled and softly cleared her throat, making her presence known.

Elliot looked up "Hi," he smiled softly. He turned back to Rose "Looks like Livvie brought breakfast."

Olivia pulled the table over and set the oatmeal in front of Rose. She positioned the spoon in Rose's good hand before pulling Elliot to the side. She lifted Zack out of his arms "You know," she said in a whisper so that Rose wouldn't overhear "We have to have a talk about this whole 'Livvie' thing."

"What about it?" Elliot asked.

"Well," Olivia started, shifting Zack carefully to one side "Your daughter can get away with it because she's too young to know better and she's cute but you-"

"You don't think I'm cute?" Elliot asked, pouting a little.

Olivia leaned in and kissed him "You're down right adorable," she assured him before continuing "I mean you should know better."

"You don't like being called 'Livvie'?" he asked, poking her playfully in the ribs.

"Not unless the person doing the calling is under four feet tall," she replied.

"Hmm…" Elliot scratched his head "That's gonna cause some problems down the road. What should Rose call you when she starts getting taller? Probably 'Mom' or 'Mommy'," he had said this last part without really thinking but he didn't have any objections to it. But it wasn't the time to be discussing those sorts of things.

Olivia's face fell and she reached for the bottle of formula, sinking into a chair "'Livvie' is fine," she murmured, beginning to feed Zack "It'll probably grow on me."

Elliot sat down beside her. He watched as Zack sucked on the bottle. He reached out and placed his hand over hers on the baby bottle "Sorry about that," he said quietly "I didn't want to make you upset," she had been in such a good mood that morning until he had gone and tripped over his own words.

"No," she said, looking up at him "It's not that… I mean, it is and it isn't… I don't know…" she trailed off and looked back into her son's face. Rose had never known her real mother, Olivia didn't feel like she had earned the right to be called that by the little girl. She sighed heavily, glancing at her watch "The nurse will be in to discharge them soon," she said simply.

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"I thought that Maureen was coming to help us," Olivia observed as they walked out of the hospital, Olivia holding Zack and Elliot, carrying Rose. The poor child had both legs incased in casts and would be reliving her earlier immobile days for the next several weeks.

Elliot unlocked the car doors and strapped Rose into her car seat "We'll be meeting up with her later," he explained.

"At the apartment," Olivia said, it wasn't really a question but she still waited for some sort of reply from Elliot as she finished strapping Zack into the car seat and hovered there waiting for a response. Elliot didn't respond but instead, climbed into the driver's seat. Olivia decided not to think too much about it and got in the passenger's side.

Elliot started the car "Wave bye-bye to the hospital Rose," Elliot said as they left the parking lot.

"No," Rose responded almost bitterly "Don't like hopstital."

"That makes two of us," Olivia muttered, not bothering to bite back the grin that broke through.

"Make that three," Elliot added in such a low whisper that only Olivia could hear him."

They drove in silence for a while. Olivia spent most of her time staring into the rearview mirror to make sure they weren't being followed. She didn't notice that Elliot was doing the same.

"Wait a minute," Olivia said suddenly and Elliot nearly lost control of the car, he was so caught off guard by the sound of her voice.

"What?" he asked, trying not to sound as on edge as he felt.

"We just passed your apartment building," Olivia told him.

"Oh," Elliot remarked and continued to drive "Don't worry about it."

"Huh?" Olivia murmured "Should I be worried?"

"No," Elliot said in a calming tone "I just thought… well, you'll see."

"Okay," Olivia settled herself back into her seat and continued watching the rearview mirror "I hope this isn't one of those 'jump out and surprise the already on edge woman with the gun' kind of 'you'll see' things."

Elliot wished he could have a moment so that he could call them and tell them not to yell 'Surprise'.

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"It's been an hour and a half," Olivia noted. They had long since left the city limits. As far as she could tell, they were headed somewhere upstate. The kids had fallen asleep in their car seats and Olivia was getting impatient "Could you please tell me where we're going?"

"I'd like to," Elliot smiled slightly "But I promised I'd keep it a secret."

"You're starting to scare me," Olivia said in all seriousness.

Elliot pulled off to the side of the road for a minute. He turned and looked at Olivia, covering her hand with his where it lay between them "Call it an early Christmas present," he told her. When that didn't elicit any sort of change in Olivia's attitude he continued "Do you trust me?"

"With my life," she replied without even having to consider her answer for a second "And my son's life," she added.

"Then don't worry," he told her. He pulled the car back onto the road and continued driving "We should be there soon," he told her.

"Great," Olivia murmured "I just wish I knew where there was."

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Elliot pulled into the driveway of the house. Olivia looked out the window at the trees and the flower beds which, if it were spring instead of late fall, would probably be overflowing with colorful plants. "Where are we?" she breathed, opening the door and breathing in the clean air, so much different than the thick, car exhaust filled citty air.

Elliot lifted Rose out of her car seat "Let's go inside. We'll explain everything."

"We…?" Olivia murmured, lifting Zack from his car seat and following Elliot.

Elliot stood in front of the door and watched Olivia "You might wanna hand me your gun," he suggested half kidding.

"Why…?" Olivia asked suspiciously but, remembering their earlier conversation, she groaned "No Elliot, don't tell me you drove me all the way up here so people could jump out and yell surprise at me and scare me half to death?" she waited for a response but Elliot just stood there with his hand outstretched. She rolled her eyes and handed it to him "Here, take it. I don't want to kill someone before I get the chance to verbally tear them apart for this."

Elliot took her gun from her and almost laughed, almost, because he knew that her words had some truth to them. He opened the door.

"Surprise!" the gathering screamed as soon as Olivia could be seen by all of them.

"This doesn't look much like a party," Olivia observed as she walked in to the spacious main room and sat in one of the arm chairs.

"It isn't exactly," Elliot explained, coming and sitting on the corner of the sofa closest to her. "It's more like a 'welcome to your vacation' thing…" he trailed off.

Cragen stepped forward "What Mr. Articulate is trying to say is that we've all decided to give you a little break until the New Year."

Olivia looked up "All of you?" she asked in amazement.

"Got someone to cover all of my shifts at the restaurant," Maureen smiled.

"Downing let us take vacation time," Munch explained "We had enough of it built up. He's still got Chester and all the other SVU detectives in all the other burrows to help him find Gitano."

"We shrinks are a dime a dozen," George Huang quipped "I found someone to take care of all my appointments."

"We got a note that says we don't have to go back to school until next year," Lizzie told Olivia.

"Yeah," Dickie added "And a whole pile of assignments that we're supposed to have finished by then."

"No big cases that I need to be around for," Casey explained "I found an adequate replacement."

"We're still on paid medical leave from our jobs," Simon explained from his seat at the other end of the couch. It was the first time Olivia had seen him in over a week. He looked so pale and he seemed to have aged a great deal.

"Charlie's teachers gave me his work for the next month and a half," Lucy smiled.

"I finished my finals early just for this," Kathleen told Olivia as she came forward and stood to Olivia's left "I love a good long vacation."

Everyone had given an explanation for their presence except for Cragen. Olivia leaned forward "And what's your deal Cap?" she asked.

"None of that," he corrected quickly "It's just Don now Olivia. And, well it's my vacation house."

"It's huge," Olivia observed.

"Yeah," Cragen shrugged, settling down into another armchair. Everyone around the room found places to sit which were not lacking. There were three couches in the space and at least half a dozen armchairs.

"Marge and I bought this place a long time ago," Cragen reminisced "She always wanted a big family but…" he trailed off. He was never exactly sure why he had held on to the place after she died. Sure, he liked to escape from the city on those rare occasions when he could but the place was just so damn big that whenever he did come to it, he was overcome with the realization of just how alone he was.

"Is there enough room for all of us?" Olivia asked.

"Definitely," Elliot smiled as Maureen took Rose from his arms.

"What about our clothes… and the baby things… and-" Olivia stammered.

"We packed all of it last night," Maureen told her as she cuddled her youngest sister in her arms.

"You guys are sneaky!" Olivia said all of a sudden "Where did you hide all of your cars? I didn't see them when we drove up."

"We hid them in the woods," Munch replied "Hey," he addressed the designated drivers of the group "We should probably go move them before they get coated in squirrel droppings." He, Maureen, Cragen and Huang all filed out of the room. They soon returned and the conversation continued.

Elliot and Olivia managed to sneak away somewhere in the third hour with the excuse that Rose and Zack needed their rest. Elliot took his youngest daughter from Huang, who she had somehow managed to make her way over to him during the course of the afternoon. And Olivia retrieved her son from Casey, who was absolutely gushing about how cute he was.

Elliot led Olivia up the stairs and to a bedroom at the end of the hall. He opened the door and Olivia gasped "Elliot, this is… wow," she finished.

"Cragen said he had no use for the master bedroom so he said we could have it," Elliot told her.

"This is all very nice," Olivia started "But I thought we were going to put the kids down for a nap?"

"No nap," Rose protested sleepily, her voice slightly muffled by Elliot's chest.

"Oh we are," Elliot opened the door to what appeared to have once been a walk in closet but had recently been transformed into a nursery.

There was a window at the far end of the room and underneath the window was a bed similar to the bed that Rose slept in at Elliot's apartment. Against the wall at a right angle to that bed was a crib. Olivia looked at Elliot "When…?"

"We've had a busy week," he explained, walking to the bed and putting Rose down. He pulled the covers up over her and kissed her forehead "Sweet dreams kiddo," he whispered.

Olivia placed Zack in the crib and turned, embracing Elliot warmly "You're just too amazing," she told him as she pressed her lips to his.

"I'll do anything to make sure that you feel safe," he told her as he walked with her back into the bedroom, flipping on the baby monitor as he left.

"Thank you," she whispered as they stood in the center of the room. She rested in his arms and smiled, genuinely for the first time in far too long.

A/N: I figured that after what Olivia's been through, she could use a bit of time with the people in her life that care about her. I took a little author's license and created a place to suit my needs but I hope none of you will fault me for that. I'll update as soon as I get back at the beginning of next week.