Chapter 17: Of suspicion, love and trust
Kagome was mentally wiped out when she got home. Her mind wrapped around the dilemma in the feudal era and why that last letter had her adrenaline pumping. She closed the door behind her and threw her jacket over the chair in the entry way while she tossed her shoes off and pushed them aside.
"You're home earlier than I'd thought you'd be." Hojo's voice sounding from the dark.
"Yea, Mom and Etsu were out and Grandfather and Souta were working on that old shed so that left nothing for me to do there. Grandad did find some interesting artifacts hidden in there so that kept me busy for a little while. Why are you sitting in the dark?" Kagome asked as she rounded the corner.
Hojo turned to look at her and shrugged. "It's better for watching t.v by your lonesome I guess."
"I'm sorry. I'm home now, would you like some company?" Kagome asked with a tired smile.
"Sure. I'd like that a lot." Hojo said as he patted a spot next to him on the couch.
Kagome sat on the offered spot and leaned into Hojo. She idly watched the television as her mind began to wander again. She thought of Inuyasha possibly doing something drastic to himself and the thought of poor Shippo having to deal with having to send her bad news, hoping it would reach her intact after 500 years of weather and wars. She wondered if Shippo was alive today and why he hadn't found her yet or if he died a long time ago and spent the rest of his days alone, only hoping to see her again. That thought bothered Kagome to no end. Not knowing what happened to her friends and knowing that no matter what, she couldn't change the past.
As Kagome slipped off to dream land, her mind dully reminded her, 'here, in the future, Inuyasha's dead, Miroku and Sango are dead and more than likely, so is Shippo. Unless you can find Miroku and Sango's decedents, you'll never have that connection again'. And it was that very troubled thought that made her sleep restless.
She dreamt of Inuyasha, sitting under the old god tree. She was so excited to see him that she went running up to him but to her dismay, he couldn't see her. She stood there, next to him, in wonderment. He sighed and looked out towards the horizon, Kagome followed his gaze and sighed herself. Only in the feudal era and her dreams could she ever witness such gorgeous sunsets. The sky was washed with colors of red and purples and the sun hung in the sky like a huge blaze-orange saucer.
"Kagome, why did you abandon me?" Inuyasha's voice was unlike anything Kagome ever remembered. His voice seemed older and held a heavy sadness to it.
"Inuyasha, I didn't want to leave you. Believe me, I had no intention of never coming back. If you could only hear me." Kagome cried, her voice echoing as she spoke into thin air.
"Just when I thought we could be happy, you left." Inuyasha leaned heavily back against the tree and stared into the fast darkening sky. He shut his eyes for what seemed to be a few seconds.
All Kagome do was stand there and watch him, wishing she could comfort him some how. She watched as he lowered his head into his arms and she felt her heart break as she realized he was now crying. Her mind swirled around the miserable hanyou sitting in front of her. Was he this miserable about their separation even after all these years? Something just wasn't right and although he couldn't hear her voice or feel the warmth of her touch, she still felt compelled to lean down and wrap her arms around him.
"Even if you can't hear me, I love you Inuyasha. Please feel my love around you." Kagome whispered as she held him.
Inuyasha shuddered as a strange presence swept over him and for some strange reason, he couldn't help but smile a bit. "I love you." He whispered back into the wind.
Kagome smiled, she felt much better knowing a bit of her got through to Inuyasha. Maybe this dream would be their last moment together, Kagome knew she didn't dream like this often.
Suddenly, Inuyasha turned and appeared to be looking right at Kagome with tears in his eyes. Kagome found herself speechless as he seemed to lock eyes with her.
"Kagome, you must stay on your toes, danger looms overhead." His voice rang, but before Kagome could question his warning, she was jerked out of dream land when a hand roughly shook her shoulder.
"Kagome, wake up." Hojo's voice sounded.
"Hmmm? What is it?" She asked as she awoke.
"The office called. There's an emergency and I have to get to the office A.S.A.P., but I can't go anywhere with you in my lap dear." He said softly and yet worry seemed to heavily lace his voice.
Kagome sat up and stretched out, allowing Hojo to get up and quickly dart around the room, grabbing his wallet, keys, briefcase and jacket. He kissed Kagome on the head and told her that he'd be back soon and left.
Kagome was left alone to sit with her thoughts while she numbly gazed at the t.v that was rambling on in the background, but she wasn't paying attention to what was on the tube. Her thoughts were wrapped around her dream.
"Grrr, what a distracting day! I know, I'll call Etsu and see if she'll meet me in town." Kagome said aloud to no one in particular.
She picked up the phone and dialed Etsu's cell number and waited while it rang, tapping her fingers on the kitchen counter and perked up when Etsu's voice answered.
"Hi! It's Kagome...fine, how about you?...I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie or something?...Great, should I pick you up?...Ok then, I'll meet you there in half an hour." Kagome hung up the phone with a happy sigh. She was to meet Etsu at the movie theater and they'd decide what to see from there. But she had to be there in half an hour, that only gave her about fifteen minutes to get ready and head out the door.
Kagome had decided on a pair of black jeans and a white tank top with some random anime-style female character on the front and instead of her normal jacket, she decided to wear her blue jeans jacket and her hair pulled back into a neat pony tail.
She didn't have to wait long outside the movie theater before Etsu arrived. And it wasn't like Kagome could miss her third-trimester figure either.
"Etsu! You look ravishing. You're positively glowing, how are you feeling?" Kagome asked as she gently gave the woman a hug.
"I'm feeling great. Although this little one barely gives me a moment's rest. Kicking me at all hours of the night, and throughout the day too, in fact, this baby is just none stop. I am counting down the days to the arrival." Etsu explained.
"Well then, no scary movies, don't need you having this baby in the middle of a movie, it would ruin the plot." Kagome teased.
"Pshh, Kagome, you sound like Souta. Let's pick a movie, shall we?" Etsu asked.
"Sure, how about Howl's Moving Castle?" Kagome suggested.
"Sounds fine with me." Etsu agreed.
After the movie was over, the girls stood outside the movie theater to talk before going their separate ways.
"Etsu, may I confide in you?" Kagome asked seriously.
"Sure, you have before." Etsu replied.
"I've been having weird dreams lately. Of my ex-love. And I feel that my dreams have been warning me, but I don't know what and it has me tearing my hair out." Kagome explained.
"What do you mean by 'warning'?" Etsu enquired.
"Well, it's been like this, I go back into the past and try to console my ex who seems to always be sad and just when I have resolved things and all is right, he verbally warns me about danger, but I can never hear the full message." She sighed and threw her hands up in frustration.
"Hmm. My interpretation of your dream is that there's something or someone that you want to make amends with but seeing how it's too late, it's eating at your self-conscious. Has anything from your past come back to haunt you at all?" Etsu asked.
"Now that you mention it, there is. I recently found an old love letter from my ex and it's absolutely heart breaking." Kagome said, her voice full of hurt.
"Sounds like you're having trouble letting go of the past." She offered.
"You think so? I've tried for years to leave it behind me, but the harder I push it back, the harder it bites me in the behind." Kagome sighed as the truth sunk in.
"Yea, you're stressed out and these new developments in your life have brought on paranoia of moving forward. You're afraid that you're making a mistake?" Etsu asked.
"Yea, maybe that's it. You sound like you speak from experience." Kagome said.
"That's because I do. Trust me Kagome, just give it time and everything will work itself out." Etsu smiled at her sister-in-law. "Now, I have an over-worried husband to go home to, but if you need anything, give me a call, k?"
"Deal. Take care and drive safe." Kagome hugged Etsu and waved her off as she got in her car and drove home.
When Kagome got home, she was surprised to see Hojo's car in the drive way. 'For an emergency, it sure didn't take long.' Kagome thought to herself.
She entered her apartment feeling emotionally refreshed and realized that getting out with Etsu and their little talk really did help lift some weights off her soul.
"Hojo? I'm home." Kagome called as she dropped her keys on the table. "Hojo? Are you here?" Kagome called with uncertainty. She heard some noise coming from the bedroom and decided to investigate.
She cautiously tiptoed around the corner and made her way to the bedroom door that was propped open a bit, careful not to make a sound.
Again she heard rustling from beyond the door and gulped. If it was an intruder, was he armed and would he harm her should she surprise him? She gulped and summoned the courage to open the door and slowly reached her hand out and gave a gentle push on the door.
Once the door was open and the whole room was visible to Kagome, she had to do a double take. Her jaw practically hit her chest at the sight before her.
Indeed it did look like a burglar broke in and tore her room up. Her personal belonging were strewn across her bed and her dresser drawers were thrown open and her cloths were unkemptly exposed. In the middle of all this mess sat a very angry looking Hojo on her bed with a piece of paper gripped tightly in his hand.
"Hojo? What's going on here, what did you do to my ro..."
"You tell me what's going on here!" He shouted at her angrily, cutting her words short.
"I don't know! Why don't YOU explain!" Kagome hissed back, her own anger rising.
"What is this about? Are you cheating on me?" Hojo accused.
"What? No! Why would you even ask?" Kagome cried out.
"Because when I got home and saw you weren't here, I looked around the house to see if you had left a note or any kind of evidence that you had gone out and was safe. Then I saw your jacket and got worried so I decided to check it to see if maybe there was something in there and that's when I found this!" He waved the paper at her as if it smelled of doggie poo.
Kagome snatched the offending paper from his hand and read it. Her face paled when she realized that it was Inuyasha's love letter, she totally forgot that she had put it in her pocket.
"Well? Explain why you have a love letter addressed to you from another man in your pocket. Is HE who you've been with all this time I've been worrying about you?" Hojo pointed at the letter to emphasize the 'he'.
"No! I went to see a movie with Etsu. That is just an old letter from a long lost love. It was years ago and he's gone for good." Kagome defended.
"I don't believe you." Hojo accused again.
"Well then, call Etsu and find out for yourself. You're acting like a jealous little child. And what gave you right to tear through my stuff?" Kagome asked.
"First off, I know that you saw another man on the side when you were dating me back in high school, so I have every right to be suspicious. And you can't claim half this stuff as yours. You have to be the one to have bought it to own it. I bought most of everything in this place and this is the gratitude I get for including you in it?" Hojo would have opened his mouth more had it not been for the swift slap across the face from Kagome.
"How dare you! If you want to talk about possessions, then you can't even talk. Most of what 'you' own is paid for by your grant money. If the board only knew how much crap you bought that didn't go towards your research, you'd be in some serious hot water! And I have no problem turning up the heat!" Kagome threatened, she too would have slung more insults and threats at Hojo had he not cracked her upside the head at that last comment.
Kagome went sprawling across the floor at the impact of his assault. The instant she hit the floor, the room went silent and seemed to echo the resounding thud of her body meeting floor. Tears sprung up in her eyes when she realized that he hadn't slapped her but punched her in the face full forced. She tenderly touched her left cheek and recoiled in pain upon contact. It was already swollen and the very flesh on her cheekbone burned.
"Damn it woman! You piss me off. Don't forget, we're in this together and if I go down, I'm taking you with me. Keep that in mind. If you don't like the heat, then stay out of the kitchen or else you'll burn only yourself." And with that said, Hojo stormed out of the room and Kagome heard him noisily slamming drawers around in the kitchen.
Kagome had been stunned by his actions and words. Never in her life had a man actually hit her let alone punch her in the face. Her heart felt as if it had been stabbed and left in the pit of her stomach to rot. She crawled up on her cloths-ridden bed and some how managed to maneuver herself between the sheets under the cloths and cried.
She thought about how Inuyasha would react if he knew what had transpired just a few minutes ago. Stupid Hojo, he probably wouldn't have known what had hit him. Inuyasha would probably tear Hojo limb from limb for giving her a black eye. But then again, if Inuyasha were still around, she wouldn't be with Hojo, now would she?
Kagome was a smart girl, she knew how abusive relationships started, she just always thought she was too smart to get into one. And now that she had been hit and hard, she feared what would happen if she stayed or how Hojo would react if she decided to leave. She wasn't stupid and she knew that this would be a vicious cycle. Men just don't hit a woman like that only once.
With that thought, Kagome started crying. 'What have I gotten myself into?' Her thoughts wailed. She cried until she couldn't cry anymore and eventually fell asleep.
When Kagome woke, it was dark and from what she could make out with one good eye, Hojo was in bed and appeared to be asleep. She looked around and noticed that the room had been put back in order and there was a note on the night stand with her name on it.
'I'm so sorry. Please forgive me,
Hojo.'
Kagome made a throaty noise when she read the contents. Such a man of few words was Hojo, but he got his point across. 'I'm sorry I hit you, forgive me until next time and then please forgive me again.' Kagome sighed, her mind do tired to even reason with her resolve to give him a second chance. She kept reminding herself that if she let him get away with it now, she'd be regretting it as long as she lived and in an abusive relationship, who knew how long that'd be.
Kagome had decided to leave Hojo and soon.
With that resolve, Kagome fell back asleep and allowed her mind to bring her back to the world she had left behind where a sad silver-haired hanyou waited for her. A world of memories and a world without Hojo, a world of lesser evil.
..:End of Chappy:..
A/N: Well, this chapter was shorter, but I felt that I really owed you guys a new chapter seeing how you've been soooo patient with me and everything. Plus I'm setting you up for what's to come. I know exactly were this story is going and no one can stop me MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Any way, thank you for reviewing, you guys make me feel warm and fuzzy when you tell me how much you like my stories and if you don't like this story, trust me, you aren't going to hurt my feelings by expressing such. It's not like I've never read a story I didn't like, but I'm nice about it as I expect you to be. Please, please, please review! And BE HONEST! Thanks all.
Oh, and BTW, you guys have NO CLUE where this story will be headed! Yay me and my evilness. Hehehehehehehe. It's almost 2:00am and I'm just about out off coffee and Starbucks double shots and my nerves are so shot, but that's ok cause I love it!
Yea, so to help keep what little sanity I possess intact, review, contact from the outside world keeps me from killing people.
Sunny.