AN: This is going to be a slightly longer story than all the other's I wrote up to now. I would be very happy about reviews because I really want to know how good or bad I am, especially concerning the language. Just don't be too hard, because I'm German and I think I'm allowed to make some mistakes, right? ;-)

Well, anyway. This story is kind of AU and I really hope no-one is going to kill me. giggles But I won't let slip too much. Just enjoy the story (or don't) and be nice and leave a review, because that really makes me happy. :-)

The Pieces That Are Left

Chapter One

Gibbs was cold.

Not the 'It's freezing outside' kind of cold. Gibbs hands were never cold, anyway. That made said point unbelievable, already, but it didn't chance the fact that Gibbs really was cold. And it wasn't the 'unemotional bastard' cold either. Although sometimes it seemed true. Gibbs was an unemotional bastard. At least that's what he let people think, because deep inside he had feelings. But it was his and only a few people he could trust enough to show them what he felt. And still, Gibbs was cold.

But it was different.

So different that Tony would cry about it.

Not only would. Did. He did so violently, that someone watching would think he'd already cried himself out. Dry and empty inside, not able to produce any more tears. In a way that wasn't entirely wrong. Anthony DiNozzo felt already empty for the fact. Dry… well, not quite sure about that, but definitely empty. But the emptiness wasn't the main feeling. Neither was the sadness or the loneliness. It would be the guilt.

Guilt because he hadn't been able to rescue his supervisor soon enough. He had been hesitating one moment too long, waiting to be sure, that Maddie was alive and breathing. She had for the moment, but he had doubted it one moment too long and that was the reason why Gibbs was facing death right now.

No way out.

No matter how often Tony had pounded down on the chest of his boss, still hoping that he would come to consciousness again, choking, but breathing at least. Alive. But he wasn't and it was all his damn fault.

Tony had given up on him. He had stopped trying to get Gibbs out of dreamland or wherever he was. Had stopped to get him conscious by clearly telling him, that he would prefer not to kiss his boss. Had stopped to get him conscious by doing exactly that although he'd tried to avoid it. But since Gibbs wouldn't wake up, he didn't have any other choice. He'd stopped, to get Gibbs conscious by facing Maddie and trying to at least bring her back to life.

And he had.

He had saved Maddie but he hadn't been able to save Gibbs. And that was what left him crying on the dock, shivering from the icy cold water, he'd previously been in, from where he'd pulled out Maddie and Gibbs. He was crying so hard, that he felt numb. Everything happening ever after he'd realized that he couldn't reanimate his boss was a blur. He didn't see McGee and Ziva appearing and processing the scene. He didn't see Ducky arriving and silently bagging the corpses, Gibbs' included. He didn't feel the hand of the older man on his shoulder, his lips close to his ear, whispering soothing words and trying to get him to response in any way.

But Tony couldn't.

He just sat there, crying to himself, in trance. He couldn't think and he couldn't feel and he couldn't see. He just knew that he would never be able to forget. And most of all to forgive himself.

Tbc…