Chapter Five

Later that day Natalie sat alone in Bo's office, her mind racing. Not only was she trying to deal with the fact her daughters were still missing, but now she had to deal with seeing John again and the fact that the kidnapping obviously had something to do with him. For the first time in her life Natalie didn't know what she was feeling.

Anger at John for leaving.

Guilt over not protecting her children.

Relief that John would finally know about his daughters.

But most of all Natalie was scared. Scared that John wouldn't want anything to do with them, scared for the safety of her daughters, but mostly Natalie was scared she would never see them again.

Ever since becoming a mother Natalie would cringe when she heard the news that another child had been abducted or gone missing. She would include those families in her prayers, sympathizing with that child's mother – not even able to fathom going through that. Whenever she took the girls out in public Natalie kept her eyes glued to them, and from a young age taught them their full names, phone number and address.

But now it was her children missing – and it was exactly as it had been described to her – every mother's worst nightmare.

Vicki and Clint had spent hours at the station trying to get Natalie to eat or drink something or to lie down – but she couldn't. Jessica and Eve had both tried encouraging her to "let it all out", but Natalie couldn't do that either.

She just wanted this to be over.

John entered the police station as a common criminal would – keeping his head down, walking at a quick pace, and avoiding eye contact with anyone who glanced his way. He wasn't in the mood for a forced reunion with the guys he used to work with so rather then cut through the main part of the station John opted to use the back door to Bo's office.

Finding it slightly ajar, John let himself in but suddenly froze when he came face-to-face with Natalie, who was just moving toward the door.

"I tried to find you."

Her words just hung in the air between them as John tried to find his voice. Out of all the reactions he had anticipated her having, this was not one of them.

"I'm sorry." Was all he managed in response.

Natalie stared at him, her eyes blank and her face drawn. She looked completely drained. Finally she managed to crack a weak smile and pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm glad you're okay," she whispered softly.

Still slightly shocked, John awkwardly hugged her back unsure what else to say to her. Never in a million years had John imagined he would have another chance to have Natalie back in his arms.

It felt right.

After a few moments she pulled away, much to John's disappointment. "I meant it – I spent months trying to track you down, I wanted Sydney and Eve to know their father."

Ashamed, John looked down at the floor. "I was an idiot."

"Yeah, you were."

John couldn't help but smile at her direct attitude. Finally meeting her eyes he asked the one question that he needed to ask, "So, I am their father?"

Natalie nodded. "I found out the day you left. Conception was probably the last night we were together."

"I'm sorry you had to do it alone." John said it softly, his voice tight. Being here and seeing her after all this time made John long to go back in time and have a chance at doing things over. "I saw their pictures on the news – they are adorable Natalie. You've done an amazing job."

Tears began to fall from Natalie's eyes. "I thought so too until this morning." She took a shaky breath and began to pace the room. "I've just been sitting here, last night replaying over and over in my mind – maybe if I had been quicker or stronger I could have prevented what happened. Why would someone do this John?" Natalie choked out, as she finally succumbed to her emotions and began to sob. "Why would someone use my daughters against you?"

John went over and took one of Natalie's hands. "We'll find them Natalie, I promise you I'll find them."

Taking a few shaky breaths Natalie managed to stop the sobs and looked up at him. "I'm glad you're here." Standing up she moved toward the door once more. "I am going to go find Bo and see if there is anything new – I know he is going to want to talk to you."

John nodded and followed her as she exited the office and made her way through the main part of the station which hadn't changed at all. He recognized almost all of the officers from before, most which were staring at them with curious expressions. But before John could say anything he heard familiar voice that made him cringe.

"No I will not calm down Michael. You tell me that my son who has basically ignored me for four years is back in town and expect me to do nothing? No, his behavior is unacceptable and I have every right as his mother to give him a piece of my mind." Eve McBain yelled as she tore through the station, Michael helplessly trailing behind her.

Knowing he had to face his mother sooner or later, John sighed and turned around. "Hi Mom."

Eve's eyes narrowed dangerously as she came face to face with her son. Raising her hand she slapped him hard across the face and fixed him with a glare. "Do you have any idea what your father would say if he knew the way you have treated us? Not calling in two years – only sending letters? How could you do that to me Johnny?" Tears began to well up in Eve's eyes, and she quickly threw her arms around him. "I have missed you so much, Johnny."

His cheek still stinging from the blow, John wrapped his arms around his mother and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry mom, I was an idiot."

Pulling away from her son, Eve wiped away her tears and nodded. "I swear John, if you ever do that again I am not going to be as forgiving."

Nodding, John looked past his mother at Michael. "Hey Mikey," he said softly.

"John," Michael grunted, still unsure if he could get past how abruptly his brother had taken off from Llanview and how he had stayed away missing not only Michael's wedding, but also the birth of his two sons Josh and Ryan, as well as his own daughters.

Up until this time Natalie had been standing behind John silently observing the strained family reunion, but seeing the tension between the two brothers stepped forward. "Eve, did you happen to see Uncle Bo one your way in?"

Eve shook her head. "Why? Has there been any news?"

Natalie looked over at John, unsure if she should tell Eve about the note. But before she had to make a decision, Bo came up behind them and wrapped his arms around Eve.

"Honey, I thought you were going home to sleep?"

"When Michael told me John was on his way to Llanview I had to come down here." Remembering that John knew nothing of his relationship with Eve, Bo quickly dropped his arms and looked past her, only to meet John's confused look.

Seeing the other man's expression Bo cleared his throat. "John, why don't you come into my office so I can get your statement?"

"Okay," John said following Bo back toward his office his mind racing. He had twin daughters, Michael was acting as if he hated him, and his mother was dating Bo Buchanan.

A lot sure did change in four years.