Chapter Seven
About a half hour after Natalie rushed from the station John pulled into her driveway. It had taken some coaxing, but Bo had finally given him directions to the house after John assured both him and Eve he wouldn't further upset Natalie. Getting out of his car, John walked around Natalie's car which was badly parked on an angle. Based on the parking, it was obvious Natalie was not taking the news of Cristian's involvement with the kidnapping well. John made his way up toward the wraparound porch, taking note of the toys scattered around.
Raising his hand to the doorbell, John paused when he realized the door was slightly ajar. Becoming concerned, John pulled out his gun from his back pocket and hesitantly made his way inside. "Hello?" he called out softly, "Natalie are you here?"
Quietly he crept into the house and shut the door behind him. Looking around, he made his way into the living room and through the kitchen, his weapon still drawn. It wasn't until he was standing still in the kitchen that he heard the water running from above him. Convinced that Natalie was safe and that Cristian hadn't been back to take her John put his weapon away.
He took his time walking through the living room which had been torn apart by the CSI crew earlier that morning. Luckily, Clint had called someone and the shattered window in the kitchen had been fixed right away. John took a few minutes and stopped in front of the fireplace mantle and side tables that held pictures of the family. There were tons of pictures taken throughout the past five years. Pictures of them as babies, recent ones of them as toddlers, pictures of them with Eve, Michael, Vicki and Clint, Roxy, Rex – and many of them with Natalie. A picture on the end caught his eye and he picked it up and studied it. It had obviously been taken recently as the girls looked the same as they had in the pictures on the news. It had been taken outside in front of the house, and Natalie and the girls were playing in a pile of leaves, large smiles on all of their faces.
Suddenly realizing just how much he had missed, John replaced the picture and tried to push away the guilt. He was here now and going to do whatever he could to make it up to his daughters and their mother.
Still hearing the water running, John felt a slight twinge of worry. He had been in the house for at least 20 minutes and from what he remembered of Natalie, she usually took quick showers. Going over to the stairwell, John slowly made his way up to the second level, looking at the framed photos that led the way.
No matter what the event or occasion, Natalie had been sure to document it well.
Once he reached the upper level, John walked toward the room that had the shower running. "Natalie?" he called out much louder this time, in the hopes she would hear him. After pausing for a few seconds, John slowly pushed the bedroom door open and stepped inside. The room was very much Natalie, not overly-feminine, decorated nicely in a mint green color. John was just about to call out for her again, when he heard the sobbing.
Just the fact that he could hear her over the loud spray of the shower, alerted John to the fact she was not well. Going over to the bathroom door, John pushed it open expecting to be hit with the choking steam of the shower.
There was no steam.
"Natalie?" John called again, but it was no use. He could hear her on the other side, completely falling apart. Crossing over to the shower, John pushed the curtain open and found a naked Natalie huddled against the wall, sobs racking her body. John quickly reached his hand in to turn off the water, yelping when he realized the water was ice cold. Frantically, he turned the knob to hot and kicked off his shoes. Not caring about his clothes he stepped into the shower and lifted Natalie into his arms, bringing them both under the water, knowing that he needed to get Natalie warm. As he sat with her in the shower, Natalie wrapped her arms around him and continued to sob and for the first time since the girls went missing completely fell apart.
Once the sobs had stopped John turned over off the water, helped Natalie to her feet and wrapped a fluffy white towel around her. Through this all, she remained silent. He helped her out of the shower and into her bedroom, gently helping her sit down on her bed. Finally she looked at him, as if seeing him for the first time.
"What if he hurts them… what if he does something to my babies?" she asked, her voice tight and laced with fear.
For the first time since arriving back, John didn't just see her as Natalie… he saw her as the mother of his children. Going over he knelt down in front of her and met her eyes. "I'm not going to let that happen Natalie, I'm going to find him."
She stared at him for a few moments, searching his face for a sign of reassurance. Finally, she nodded and then stood up clutching the towel tightly around her. "Can you give me a few minutes to get dressed?" she asked, needing to reclaim a bit of her modestly.
John let himself out of the room. Deciding to give her some time and take this opportunity to get out of his soaking wet clothes, John headed back downstairs and out to his car where he grabbed the duffel bag he had quickly packed. Finding the small powder room, John peeled off his wet shirt, jeans and boxers and changed. Once he was finished he headed back in to the living room and took a seat. Natalie came down a few minutes later, fully dressed and looking a lot better then she had. Offering him a small smile, she began to busy herself with the task of cleaning up the living room. "I'm sorry I fell apart on you like that, I just can't take not knowing."
"It's fine Natalie, there's no need to apologize. But I meant what I said; I am going to find them."
Natalie didn't say anything, just continued to clean. Finally she changed the subject. "I don't want the girls coming home to this mess. It will just freak them out."
Understanding that this was her way of dealing with it, John stood up and rolled up he sleeves. "Where do you keep the cleaning products? I'll start working on getting rid of this powder."
Silently, they worked side by side for nearly an hour trying to get the house put back together. The CSI team had been meticulous, going through every drawer and every corner making sure they missed nothing so there was a lot to clean up. Neither of them spoke until they made their way into the girl's room. As Natalie got to work cleaning, John just took a second to look around. The room was painted a pale lavender color, with pictures of Disney characters posted on the walls. On either side of the room there were two single beds, a bookshelf and a child sized dresser. As he began to help her, John decided to finally ask her about his daughters.
"What are they like?" He spoke so softly that Natalie almost didn't hear his question. She hesitated for a minute, but then sat on the edge of Eve's bed and began to speak. "Different." She managed a small laugh. "Sydney is a free sprit, wanting to try everything and get into everything. She's the child every babysitter fears, the one that wants to watch a movie, color, play house, do crafts and get into mommy's make-up, all in the first 10 minutes. Eve on the other hand is quiet. She likes to watch and observe, and hates to be the center of attention. Eve is the child that you have to watch yourself with because she picks up on everything, whether you know she's listening or not."
"They sound amazing."
Natalie smiled up at him, a few tears in her eyes. "They are. When I found out I was pregnant I was absolutely terrified, a feeling that only got worse when I found out I was having twins. But the second the doctor put them in my arms, that fear was replaced by total love and devotion."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there," John said as he took a seat beside her. "I should have been there."
"I wish you had been. I meant what I said earlier John, I searched for you, did everything in my power to try and find you so you could know."
John sheepishly looked down at the creamy white carpet. "It's my own fault… I shouldn't have taken off like that."
"Telling you I hated you is one of my biggest regrets. John you have to believe me it wasn't true. I could never hate you…" A few tears began to stream down her cheeks and John gently brushed them away with his thumb. Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, John pulled her toward him for a hug. "I know you didn't."
For the first time since arriving in Llanview, John let himself feel. In that instant this wasn't just a case, these were his daughters. Allowing the tears he had been holding back to fall, John and Natalie held one another as they cried. Cried for the way things had turned out, cried for the lost time and most of all cried for the safety of their children.