8 Blame and Absolution

Once they were in space, she un-strapped herself and walked into the back of the ship. He followed her, though he was unsure why.

She whirled on him. "This is your fault." She spat the words at him, knowing they weren't true but she needed someone to take the anger and pain out on. She punched him in the chest and he took it without comment or action. Then she punched him again, twice before she collapsed against him sobbing.

He held her, his own heart cut with pain. Kyra was gone and it was his fault. If he hadn't left her alone all those years ago, then none of this would have happened.

After a few minutes, she began to calm down a little and felt something warm and sticky on her hand. She pulled back and looked at her hand, shocked to find blood, knowing she wasn't cut. It must be Kyra's, but it was still wet and fresh. She pulled up Riddick's shirt and gasped. He'd been shot.

"Riddick." He glanced down and shrugged, he never even made a noise about it, not one whimper of pain. She was standing there, sobbing like a fool and he was bleeding and in pain.

"Go to the bedroom and put your goggles on. I need to look at that." He silently did as she told him. She came back in the room a few minutes later with the first aid kit and few medical supplies they had on the ship.

"Lights 100 percent." She winced when she saw the wound in the light. "It didn't go all the way though, I'll have to take it out." She told him matter-of-factly.

He was shot in the side, right under his right ribs. It went in the back but it hadn't come out the front. Tracy could see the faint outline of the bullet just under the skin. She felt her stomach roll, if Kyra hadn't jumped in front of him and pushed him aside, he would have died. He still might if she didn't get the bullet out and clean it before infection could take hold.

Kyra gave her life so Riddick would live, Tracy was sure of it. She knew what she was doing when she stepped in front of that gun. And she knew that she would do it the same way if she had the chance. Kyra would do anything for Riddick.

"You know I don't blame you right?" She whispered to him as she worked, he grunted in response but remained stoic as she shot him with a numbing agent.

Riddick didn't think she really blamed him but he blames himself. Kyra's blood was on his hands, just like Imam's and Carolyn's. Anyone that he let himself care about.

"You know what you're doing?" he asked her absently, trying to change his thoughts.

"Yeah, it was part of my flight training. First aid and small surgical procedures, birthing babies. As caption of a ship, I would've had full responsibility of everyone on board. I can even perform a marriage." Riddick listened to her voice, laid back and didn't speak for some time. Tracy only thought about the task at hand, she couldn't think about anything else if she wanted to stay strong. If she thought about Kyra, she would fall apart again and Riddick needed her now to get the bullet out. While she was sure he had worked on himself over the years, she didn't want him to have to do that. She would do it, she owed him that much.

"I'm sorry." He told her quietly after a time. She shook her head, willing him not to speak, hoping he would continue. His voice would shatter her but then again, he was the only thing, the only one that could offer her comfort. While she was sure he was upset, there was no way it could compare to what she was feeling and they both knew it.

"There, all done. I think you'll be ok. We got it fast. You shouldn't get an infection but I gave you a shot of antibiotic anyway." She collected the stuff and started to get up when he grabbed her arm.

"Come here." Tracy shook her head; she didn't want him to see her break down again. "Come on, baby. We've had a long, shitty day. We're safe right now, get some sleep."

"I don't want to close my eyes, Riddick, and see it all again." The sight of Kyra being gunned down was burned into her mind for all time.

"I know. Just lie down with me, let me hold you." He wouldn't admit to himself that he needed to hold her as much as she needed to be held.

She finally nodded and curled up beside him feeling empty and cold. He wrapped his body around her as his heat began seeping into her icy skin and she finally started to drift off to sleep safe in his arms.

-

"What do we do now?" she wondered aloud.

"We move on,"

"There's nothing left Riddick. I'm twenty five fucking years old and for the second time in my life I'm completely alone. There is no one, nowhere to go. Everyone I have ever cared about had died in front of me by the hands of fucking mercs! I swear to God I'm going to kill every last motherfucker I see, every fucking one of them."

They had that one thing in common. Everyone he's ever cared about died by a merc's hands too. The thought was disturbing.

"You can't just start going around and killing mercs, Tracy." As much as he would love to be able to do just that.

Her eyes flashed at him and he was surprised by the amount of rage and bloodlust he saw there. The makings of a killer. "You sure about that? What do I have to lose?"

"Your life, your freedom. The slam's no place for a woman." That's why he was so desperate to get Kyra out of there before she was defiled.

"I don't care anymore…" Her hands were clenched in fists but her chin was quivering. She refused to cry again. She didn't care what happened to her now that Kyra was gone and she was alone. There was probably a bounty on her head now also.

Riddick got up and in two huge strides was looming over her, his fingers digging painfully into the soft flesh of her upper arms. "You fucking should." He growled at her and gave her a little shake, "Is this what she would have wanted? You to throw away your life like this? I know Kyra, she would want you to be strong, move on. Start over again."

"Start over again?" she shrieked; "Only to have it all ripped away again? No thanks." Tracy couldn't look him in the eyes. The damn silver eyes cut right to her soul when he looked at her.

Riddick raised his voice at her, "Where the fuck is that woman that yelled at me over the com? Where the fuck is that woman that picked herself up after her whole family died and went after the fuck Johns? What happened to her? You better find her again, Tracy, because the woman I see in front of me is weak and stupid talking about going after mercs. Get your shit together and lets come up with a fuckin' plan that doesn't involve us being hunted like dogs."

He released her so suddenly she fell back against the wall with a startled cry. Riddick just reamed her ass out and for good reason. He was right; Kyra would expect more out of her. She'd expect her to move on and deal with what came next. If she went off half cocked, she'd do nothing but draw unwanted attention to Riddick and she didn't want that.

He taught her how to use a blade and there would be no way to hide his influence. They'd use her to get to him, just like they did Kyra.

Tracy stood up and slapped Riddick across the face, "That's for calling me weak," she bit out angrily.

His eyes flashed at her a moment before he grinned. He picked her up and carried her to their bedroom as she squealed against his back. He tossed her on their bed and crawled over top of her, "You know what we need?" he rumbled against her ear as he ground his hips into hers.

"What?" she asked, her voice husky with desire.

"We need to fuck and I need to feel you cum around me," he whispered sensually as he placed little nips on her chin and collarbone.

"But your wound," she protested as he settled his mouth over her nipple. They were both completely dressed but her body responded anyway and she cupped the back of his head and pressed her breast into his hot mouth.

He growled and ripped her shirt down the middle and pulled it from her body. His wound was completely forgotten by him as his need to be inside of her grew. As his beast demanded to mate and to feel life under him. He may not be showing any outward signs of grief but he was still hurting from losing Kyra. She was like a sister to him and the last of the two people he ever cared about.

Until Tracy. The thought brought him up short. He pulled back and looked down at her. Her lips were red and swollen from his kisses and there were small bite marks all over her neck. To him, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Riddick," she whispered and opened her eyes and looked into his.

He groaned and cursed. I don't fuckin love her. Don't know what love is, just like fucking her is all. His mind raced as she found the soft spot behind his ear that drove him insane. I don't…I…can't…love her… it was his last coherent thought before he slid inside her and found his home.

--

Long after she fell asleep, he lay awake, watching her and listening to the sound of her breathing. He was truly shaken by his earlier thoughts and how much they caught him off guard. He liked Tracy. She made him laugh and she was a good sport when it came to his mind fucks. She even dealt well with his mood swings but was it love? Could someone like him ever really love?

She sighed and snuggled closer to him and he thought about what it would have been like if she was the one that died and not Kyra. He felt his heart skip a beat as realization sunk in. He would have been mad with grief and out for blood. He would have gone into Crematoria and killed every single one of the guards for even accepting Kyra's bounty and putting Tracy in danger.

It didn't matter that if Kyra hadn't been taken there he'd've met her; all that would have mattered would have been revenge.

Riddick closed his eyes and cursed himself ten times a fool. He couldn't afford to love anyone, not with his lifestyle. He had nothing to offer her and he could never settle down and give her a life, a family. She said she wanted kids. Kids? The thought filled him with dread and something else he wasn't sure of.

He felt her shift and smiled as she slowly became aware of him. First her body responded. Her nipples stiffed against his chest and then her arousal began. He could smell the unique scent of her sweet honey and then finally her mind. She opened her eyes and smiled at him. She smiled at him like she was happy to see him. Him, a convicted murder and an escaped con and she was happy to wake up in his arms.

Fuck!

His mind roared as he felt himself fall--and he was lost. He smiled back and kissed her forehead, "Hey," he said and noticed his voice sounded deeper than normal.

"Mornin'," she said and leaned her head up to nibble on his rough jaw. She lapped her tongue over his stubble and made him shiver.

She felt good. She loved waking up in Riddick's arms but something was different today. She couldn't place it, but her heart felt lighter and her grief less. Riddick had been right about them needing to sleep together. It bounded them closer and helped scab over the wounds.

He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her deeply, "Tracy," he whispered. He had no idea what he was going to say to her and he wasn't ready to admit his feelings.

She smiled at him and cupped his face. Tracy shifted and climbed on top of him. She ran her hands run over his chest and traced the outside of his bandage. She almost lost him and that scared her more than anything ever could. Her heart still bled for Kyra but it was time to move on and she hoped that Riddick would want to move on with her.

She locked eyes with him as she lowered herself onto his shaft. Riddick gripped her hips and helped guide her body. They found a smooth rhythm and he slid his hands from her hips and gripped her hands in his. Riddick pulled her toward him and when their lips touched, he moaned. He released her hands and wrapped his arms around her back and held her close as his hips kept time with hers. Slowly, in and out. He stroked her back with one hand and cupped the back of her head with his other.

"Riddick," Tracy gasped as she felt her orgasm building. The gentle way he was making love to her had her trembling. The way he was touching her was different than ever before and she knew he was opening up to her for the first time. She was overcome with emotion and with love for him. Tears slipped from her eyes and she felt the rasp of his tongue as he drank then in.

"Don't cry, baby." He whispered against her cheek.

"Oh God, Riddick, I love you," she sobbed as she exploded around him.

His breath hitched and his hands trembled as the gripping of her body sent him over the edge. He cried out her name and let himself go. For the first time in his life, he let all his guards down and gave her everything he had. It may not have been words of love, but they were actions of it. She'd know how he felt until he worked up the nerve to say the words, if that day ever came.

Tracy snuggled into his chest and cried silent tears. She knew he loved her and that was all that mattered now. Nothing else, just Riddick and making a life with him.

They were silent for a long time before she spoke, "Are you going to come to Alpha Luna with me?"

He was playing with her hair, watching the shine of light off of it when she asked the question. He answered before he thought about it, "Yes," and he felt her relax fully against him.

"Thank you, Riddick, for everything."

He didn't think he deserved her thanks so he said nothing, just kissed her on the forehead. "I'll set course when we get up. It'll take a few weeks to get there. Should we stop and get the dog?"

Tracy shook her head, "No. I think he's happy there with his mate. Let him be happy… maybe we could stop and say goodbye though? Tell him what happened."

"Ok,"

He didn't question her sanity, wanting to tell a dog that his owner was dead. He knew somehow the animal would understand and stop waiting for her to come and get him.

She smiled and kissed his chest thinking that she was lucky to have a man like Riddick for a mate.

--

Seth and Abby James landed two months later on Alpha Luna and made their new home. It was a small cabin in the wilderness. No neighbors for twenty miles in either direction. It was perfect.

The moonlight glistened off Abby's skin as lifted her head. Her eyes, now silver from their shine job, collided with Seth's. She never really regretted getting them done, knowing they would be living most of their lives in darkness but she missed the true golden color of his skin.

She looked at the bunched skin between his eyebrows and smiled. "Relax, Seth. I'm fine. It's normal to be sick for the first few months."

Seth grunted at her and picked her up from the floor and tucked her into their bed. He hated to see her sick but when he thought about their child growing in her belly, he always smiled.

"I love you," he muttered against her shoulder as they drifted off to sleep.

FIN