Road trip part 2
"Dei-chan i'm hungry" whined Tobi and a little tear rolled out of his sharingan and down his orange mask. The sight would pull at the heartstrings of any hardened fighter, even the infamous Pein. He stopped kissing Konan just for one moment, long enough to catch a glimpse of the crying ninja, and at once he changed his mind.
"Ok everyone get back in the van we've gotta go find some food!" he called out to his team spread over the floor. Wearily they shambled over to the van, all matching cloaks and bad hair.
"Erm, we're going to have to lose the cloaks" Konan explained with a look of resignation on her pretty face. "We'd be too suspicious right?"
"Lose the cloaks? You're kidding? This is who we are dude!" said her boyfriend."They'll just have to-"
"Deal with it." Zetsu finished the sentence and wiped dog blood from around his mouth.
In fear the other ninja backed into the cramped darkness of the van once more, each tripping over the body still curled in a pool of blood in the centre. The atmosphere in the back was pretty normal, carnivorous plants and immortal friends were all in a days work to them. But what was really exiting was going to mac donalds!!
"Drive through or eat-in?" asked Pein who was now back in the drivers seat, whether that was a good thing or not nobody was quite sure.
A variety of voices called out a mixture of things, none of which sounded anything like the two options offered to them.
"..." said Itachi who still felt ill,
"Don't get the fillet, no really it might be a relative" Kisame was trying to persuade everyone.
"I hope I'm not going to have to pay for this..." Kakuzu was getting seriously suspicious by now
" belly belly" sang Deidara who was cleaning clay from the tiny teeth of his hand mouths. The alcohol was still having an effect on him.
Hidan said nothing, the reason being there was no room in his stomach for food – it was all too full of triple-bladed-weaponry. In the front seat Konan was flapping a menu about – who knows how old it was because I'm sure Mc donalds don't do menu's anymore. Sasori of coarse was a puppet and didn't eat – unless it was alcohol or some chemical. So that left Tobi sitting in amongst the chaos. His crocodile tears had got him exactly what he wanted just like a spoilt child, he grinned but no one could see it under his mask.
"Eat in or drive through?" Pein asked again through gritted teeth, then he grew angry. "Oh, since you can't bloody decide, we'll have a mixture of both shall we?" he muttered, his eyes were rolling around crazily and he gripped the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white. He swung the car around and headed out of the deserted car park and down the road towards the big m sign. Instead of pulling into the drive through lane or finding a parking space, he simply lined the car up squarely with the big glass windows at the front of the building. The engine revved. Konan screamed.
The van hurtled across the ornamental flower bed, over the path and right through the floor-to-ceiling windows. It was surreal but suddenly the van was inside the restaurant, the tyres were skidding on the greasy tiles and the noise was deafening. Broken glass fell down like deadly rain and the customers were running for their lives. Pein's head had hit the windscreen on impact and he was out cold, a trickle of blood ran down his face and Konan took the wheel. The drugs had made her crazy and she put the pedal to the metal aiming right for the counter.
The van jumped forwards and with incredible power it smashed into the cheap plastic of the till counters, the employees ran to save their necks and the entire place was left deserted.
"What are you waiting for?" yelled the Akatsuki woman, she leapt out of the door and began rampaging.
The back doors burst open and the others spilled out into the ruined restaurant, oblivious to the devastation they advanced on the food waiting snugly in the heater.
"Itadakimasu!" cried Deidara, and he rushed at the hot chips with Tobi on his heels. Kisame skirted around the fish fingers and sunk his teeth into a random burger. Itachi, with a yet unheard of sweet tooth, stuck his head under the mc flurry machine and pulled the lever. Ice cream came out, he was happy.
Sasori helped to drag his fallen comrade, Hidan, out of the van and into the light. His head lolled about and more hot blood pumped out of him and onto the floor. A pipe had burst somewhere and water was flooding into the place. The puppet laid Hidan on a bench seat and pulled the scythe out of him. He grunted in what could have been appreciation or pleasure, then passed out before anyone could get so much as a chip between his lips. Zetsu was just rampaging about ripping up chairs and eating happy meal toys. He likes the way they squeaked as he swallowed them whole.
It was a considerably long time before the sirens could be heard in the distance. By then the van was filled up with more cheap plastic toys than Kisame could shake Samehada at, about a years worth of fried food and greasy chips, and thanks to Sasori it was completely devoid of blood. Pein had come round and just had time to have a poke about the back, he'd found the cute little headsets the people used in the drive thru and was playing cops and robbers with Tobi.
Every single one of the tills was gone, and the safe, and any other coinage that could be found. Kakuzu was in money counting heaven and he didn't have to pay for anything!He was glad he'd come on this road trip, it was well worth all the hassle and that one weird kiss with a certain blonde.
Once the sirens got dangerously closer, the van was started up once more and the villains cleared the scene before the first siren rounded the corner. If they drove all night they could evade the cops and make it to Sound before the party began. Everyone deserved a smug grin.
Darkness, the rank smell of cold and congealed food and darkness. Six sleeping bodies and two awake ones filled the back of the van along with the mountain of burgers and toys. One of the awake people was attempting to devour all of the food and the other was dismantling all of the toys and building a monster plastic puppet.
"Never worked with plastic before" mused Sasori as he melted two figurines together, "might work quite well!"
"Mmm" said Deidara through a mouthful of chicken burger. The darkness was so complete, the two ninjas couldn't even see each other and the only noise was the engine and the slow breathing of their criminal friends.
"So what do you think this party will be like?" asked the puppet quietly, "are you hoping to find a girl for the night or something...to dance or whatever"
"hm," began the blonde, switching the eating over to his hand-mouths so he could speak, "that's not really my bag." He blushed; glad that his partner couldn't see.
"So you're not after women then?" asked Sasori, surprised. Maybe it was time to unleash his feelings after all, he'd been hiding it so long.
"No, danna there's only one person on all this earth that I need." Said the blonde in the most serious voice Sasori had ever heard him use. "And that person...is...is"
"Shut it lovebirds if you think that I'm asleep" Pein rattled on the dividing wall between them and the cabin. "Keep it down I don't want to hear it!!"
Deidara hung his head and mumbled into his cloak, "all that we've been through together, all the fights, resurrecting you after that bitch whore Sakura killed you. It's made my feelings stronger. Don't hate me please."
If Sasori could cry he would now, instead he reached a hand out and tried to find his partners hand in the suffocating gloom. He took it and whispered the truths and the secrets he'd kept hidden for months, how he thought Deidara was into kunoichi and ladies, "In that game of truth... when I said I slept with a ho I was lying." He grinned and pulled the blonde closer glad their friendship had matured into something far grander.
Deidara reached forwards and took the smaller nin's head in his hand. The mouths nipped Sasori's ears and he was pulled into a deep kiss. The blonde and the red hair mingled together and with both of their eyes closed they didn't notice the other dudes waking up. Someone flicked on a happy meal torch with illuminated the scene before them.
"Oh Jashin!"
"What the-"
"Gimme that torch!"
"It's mine, give it back!"
"Was that what I though it was...??"
The torch beam flicked around the walls, aiming at anything but the two embarrassed ninja embracing in the dark. The light almost found them, and then Zetsu swallowed it.
"Hey stupid plant!" cried Tobi
"Told you that damn plant was evil!" hollered Pein rapping on the dividing wall again. "He tried to get his flytrap on my stash!"
"Would have been better for them if I had..." muttered Zetsu's pale half. And the others nodded in agreement. The driving would have been a lot less nerve racking if the driver wasn't stoned off his head. But then again, anyone who was sane wouldn't have blown up a gas station, crashed into mac donalds and driven all night just to get to a party.
No on was wearing a watch, but the time outside was approximately 6am on the 31st of December . The red, beaten up and filthy and van passed under a sign which read 'Sound 1mile' and a cheer rose among the ragged group.
"Nearly there!" cheered Kakuzu raising the last bottle of Jack Daniels which he and Hidan then argued about. Was it half full or in fact half empty?
Everyone cheered when they finally rolled into the drive of the large and stately mansion house that the invite had lead them to. The enormous building was made of a dark stone and had acres and acres of grounds, a lake glittered in the morning sun and the wide sloping lawns rolled down to a river. Ivy climbed its way up the front of the building and over some of the windows. The glass in them gleamed like so many blind eyes, and at this angle anyone watching would be totally concealed. A feeling of unease rose in the hearts of the group as they emerged out of the safety of the van.
The gravel crunched under 10 pairs of boots as they made their way around the fountain in the middle of the drive. On closer inspection, the fountain was a sculpture of entwined snakes, each one biting the tail of the other, Sasori glared at Deidara about to engage in another art debate, but the oppression of the moment silenced him. The wrought iron gates creaked slowly shut behind them all on their own and the wind whistled eerily among the chimneys that littered the high roof. 10 heads turned suspiciously and Hidan raised his scythe.
"Put it down!" hissed Konan, "we're here for a party!"
"Fuck that, this looks like a set up to me!" he cursed and Tobi covered his ears to block out the foul language.
Just as Pein was about to start the engine again and get the fuck out of here, the massive white front doors opened and a figure strode out. It was none other than Orochimaru himself. His big purple bow bounced and waved in the breeze and his flyaway hair whipped up alarmingly.
"Welcome!" he announced, spreading his arms wide and pausing dramatically at the top of the white marble steps that lead down to the gravel drive.
Sasori straightened up from the fighting stance he'd dropped into and wished he'd brought Hiruka with him. Hidan lowered the scythe slightly but not completely, he hadn't forgotten that time where he'd gotten electrocuted and Orochimaru ran away.
While they were deciding whether to forfeit the whole thing and go straight home, 6 other figures stepped out of the pale oak doors and stood beside their master. They were none other than the sound four, with Kimimaro and Kabuto following behind. With a sick feeling Itachi realized his horrible snotty little brother would be here too, oh he hated when family had to be brought into things.
Pein gave a sigh and started walking forwards. He waved the others forwards, it looked like they were sticking around. Tayuya grinned, she saw a certain pair she needed to catch up with. Her smile faded when she saw Konan was still among them, the two women among a giant group of boys had never got along.
Cloaks swished and purple bows bounced as the criminals said hello, a gathering this big had never been known. If any bounty hunters knew they would have been swarming the place, it was lucky Kakuzu had killed them all for their bounties weeks ago. So with a suspicious and nervous glance, the last one of them passed through the doors and they were shut against the world. The party awaits...
Hey everyone and thanks for the comments! I wasn't going to write any more but now I think I might, this story is way too much fun. As you might have guessed I recently quit my job at macdonalds and wanted a bit of revenge! Haha The next chapter may be more tomfoolery or the actual party itself, beware it will be WILD.