Notes: Last one for today. Thanks so much for all your reviews. Enjoy!
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
Rule 4:
"'I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name' is not a challenge."
"Oh, come on! Like I haven't heard that one before." Oliver Wood's voice preceded him into the Great Hall like a foghorn, as he stalked away from an idiotic Slytherin who had been trying to make up cracks about his name.
He sauntered lazily over to the Gryffindor table and seated himself opposite the twins and next to Katie Bell.
"Heard what before?" George- or could it have been Fred?- asked as he snatched the bowl of potatoes away from Oliver and helped himself to a few.
"Oh, some idiot was trying to joke about my name," Oliver told him, claiming the potatoes and spooning a few onto his plate. He set the bowl down and turned to Katie. "Pass the salt please, Kate."
She passed it to him and shot him a grin. "It isn't possible to think up new jokes about your name. I've heard every single one possible," she told him.
Hearing this, the twins immediately sprouted two identical, devilish smirks.
"Uh oh," Oliver muttered, noticing.
"Nothing's impossible, oh Katie, dearest…" Fred began.
"Yeah, I'm sure we could come up with something…" George continued slyly.
Oliver scowled and started to stuff his food into his mouth, accidentally spilling a stream of gravy down his shirt, so as not to have to speak. He really didn't want the twins to start… They had been through this before. Every. Single. Day. For the last six years.
"Go on then," Katie encouraged, eager for some entertainment. Oliver scowled and sighed.
"Don't encourage them," he mumbled through his food, though it came out more like 'duncouragim'.
"Well, let's see…" Not to be stopped, the twins began racking their brains for the best jokes they could come up with referring to their friend's name.
"How about… 'Little Olli's sucking on a Lolly'!"
"That isn't even funny," George reproached Fred.
"You do better," Fred challenged, leaning back lazily to enjoy his brother's attempt.
"Okay… How did Oliver find out he was made out of wood?" Everyone shook their heads in disbelief. "He caught on fire!"
No one laughed, instead they all continued shaking their heads and rolling their eyes at George. George pouted childishly, scowling. "Well, sorry. This isn't so easy, you know."
"Giving up?" Katie taunted the boys. They exchanged a look and shook their heads.
"Never."
For the rest of dinner, the two boys went back and forth, each cracking a joke about Oliver's name. Some were quite original, although they got steadily lamer and lamer as the time went by. But all had one thing in common: They had been heard before.
Even when Ginny joined them and added her jokes, they couldn't find an original one.
Finally, the end of dinner came, and Oliver desperate to escape the jokes, hurried off.
Desperate to get in one last one, Fred and George shouted, almost simultaneously, what was possible the lamest joke they had ever heard.
"Woody's got a Woody, Woody's got a Woody!"
Oliver scowled, mortified, and dashed from the Great Hall. Cries of "Woody's got a Woody!" and howls of laughter followed him.
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