A/N: A while ago i dreamt my sister gave me something really gross to drink. Since then, she's been trying to get me to drink it. I won't say what it was here, for its in the story. But this is just an amusing short story i decided to write. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of the characters.
In the third music room, Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin were lazing around, watching their lord Tamaki hand out roses to a group of pretty girls as they were leaving. The Host Club was now closed, and its members were off doing their own thing. Honey was eating cake with Mori, Kyouya was tapping away at his laptop and Haruhi was clearing away dirty dishes. Tamaki came over and sat opposite the twins.
'What a day,' Tamaki sighed. Hikaru and Kaoru didn't reply, both watching Haruhi stack the dirty plates and cups. Tamaki followed their gaze and instantly fired up. His face went red and he began shouting.
'You two! What do you think you're doing, staring at my daughter like that?! Whatever you're planning to do to her, stop it! You won't touch my Haruhi!' Tamaki's fists were clenched by his side and he was now on his feet. Kaoru and Hikaru waved him away.
'Relax mi'lord.' Started Hikaru.
'Yeah, we're not going to do anything to Haruhi.' Added Kaoru. The next moment, both boys had moved as quick as a flash, to stand on each side of Haruhi.
'At least,' Hikaru whispered seductively into Haruhi's ear, loud enough for Tamaki to hear. 'We're not doing anything to her yet.'
Kaoru and Hikaru were gently caressing Haruhi's shoulders teasingly. Tamaki was staring, eyes wide and jaw dropped, tears streaming down his cheeks.
'Knock it off you guys.' Haruhi said, shrugging the boy's hands off. 'Could you hold off molesting me for a while so I can finish cleaning up?' With that, Haruhi left to dispose of the dishes, Tamaki right behind her, hollering something about molestation and twins.
Hikaru and Kaoru were laughing at their lord's idiocy, as they went and sat down again. Wiping away tears of laughter, they settled down to talk.
'Hey Hikaru,' said Kaoru, turning to face his brother.
'Mmm?' replied Hikaru.
'I think we should treat our dear, sweet Haruhi. She works so hard. What say you? Would our lord approve? Kaoru had a mischievous smirk on his face.
'Kaoru?' Hikaru asked questioningly. He knew his brother had something in mind, and as he sat and listened to his plan, a second mischievous grin began to spread. Together they stood to begin fulfilling their plans.
Haruhi, having finally finished tidying up, returned to the music room and collapsed into the nearest chair, exhausted. Her Senpai had followed her everywhere, promising to buy her this and to get rid of that and blah blah blah. She didn't care.
She got annoyed at Tamaki and told him she didn't need any of his charity money. This, of course, was the wrong this to say. Instantly Tamaki had sped to the corner to sulk.
Rubbing her eyes, Haruhi felt two hands on her shoulders. Looking up she saw Hikaru and Kaoru smiling strangely at her. Hikaru had a patterned tea cup in his hand, and he was offering it to her.
'Haruhi! We brought you something to drink!' Hikaru said, grinning broadly.
'We know how hard you work,' continued Kaoru, 'So we thought you might like to try some of our special milk' Kaoru purposely emphasized the word 'special'. Suddenly, there was a shout. Haruhi had reached to take the cup offered to her, but was stopped by Tamaki.
'Haruhi! Don't drink that!' Tamaki ran over and snatched the cup from Hikaru. Mori, Honey and Kyouya looked up to watch the scene unfolding. Tamaki rounded on the twins who were now smiling impishly at each other. Everything was going as planned.
'You little devils! You were going to poison my daughter! What's in this? What were you going to do!' he shouted at them, waving his hands around wildly, almost spilling the drink. Both boys merely shrugged, uninterested.
'Nothing mi'lord. We just wanted to be nice to Haruhi.'
'Yeah. After all, she does so much for us.'
They were now standing next to each other, arms slung around each other's shoulders. They were smiling at their lord, who still looked suspicious. Hikaru sighed, fed up.
'If you don't believe us lord, why don't you try some?' Tamaki started, and then recovered. He didn't want to seem like a coward in front of Haruhi, so he did as Hikaru suggested.
Taking a breath, he took a big gulp from the tea cup. Instantly, his eyes widened and he dropped the cup, clutching his throat. The tea-cup broke, spilling lumpy milk all over the floor. The twins were doubled over in laughter, clutching their stomachs.
'Argh! You've poisoned me!' Tamaki was hollering. Honey was giggling and Mori and Kyouya were smiling. Haruhi, trying to hide a smile behind her hand so as not to upset Tamaki, spoke up.
'Senpai! Stop hollering! They haven't poisoned you!' Tamaki stopped yelling, and removed his hands from his throat. Stupid rich bastard, Haruhi thought. She smiled and bent to pick up the broken tea cup. Then Tamaki rounded on the laughing twins once again.
'You! You tried to kill me and my daughter!' Still, Hikaru and Kaoru laughed. As they calmed down, they managed to speak.
'No mi'lord!' Hikaru gasped. He slowly stood upright, arm around his brother's shoulder. 'We didn't try to kill you.'
'Right!' Kaoru said. 'We only tried to kill Haruhi!' With that said, the boys went off into another gale of laughter. Tamaki had gone red and was gasping for some water. Kyouya left and returned with a glass, handing it to Tamaki.
'Mother!' Tamaki cried to Kyouya. 'The devils are evil! They're trying to kill our daughter!' Kyouya rolled his eyes.
'No they're not. Hikaru and Kaoru merely wanted to torture you. They knew that by offering Haruhi a drink of some strange sort, you would instantly rise to protect her. As you did, you tested the drink to see if it was poison. They obviously knew you would do this, and knew Haruhi would never touch the milk.'
Haruhi had risen and as she went to discard of the broken shards, Tamaki again yelling at the laughing twins, she smirked. Those stupid rich bastards, she thought to herself and exited the room.
A/N: Well there it is. My sister has been trying to feed me lumpy milk for over a year now. I smell all my milk before drinking it. Well, i hope you enjoyed it. Please review!