DISCLAIMER: I don't own those characters, the plot, and the real people who are alive or dead. Those characters are owned by Clamp. The plot is owned by Kathleen Givens.

Chapter 1

China

September 1185

Madison Li Hiiragizawa lifted her head and let the wind blow through her hair while she caught her breath. Even after all these years, she still climbed to the top of this promontory to wait for her man to come home. Two ships today, and neither of them his, but there were still hours of daybreak left. She was not worried, for Alexander Hiiragizawa was a man to trust. He'd said he'd be home this day, and home he would be.

She'd missed him. Wasn't that strange, to live with a man for nigh on thirty years, then miss him terribly when he'd only been gone a few days? He'd not gone anywhere unusual or dangerous, only to Taipei to visit her brother Xi Ling Li, then down to Pingtung to visit their elder son, Jacob, who lived on the lands the emperor had granted to Alexander so many years ago.

And there it was the sail she'd expected and had hoped to see. Alexander's ship was approaching rapidly from the south, its rail almost under water, its white sail mirroring the foam at its bow as the black hull sliced through the dark blue water. But it was not alone on the sea, for there, in the north, was a second sail, one that made her draw her breath in sharply. A dragon ship. A long ship, of Viking devises its wide beam and shallow hull bringing back a flood of undesirable memories. Dark storm clouds fluttering behind it, putting the square sail, red with yellow stripes, into high aid. She clutched her arms and ignored the chill that swept through her, reminding herself that it was not a warship- those days were over forever. It would be a messenger from the north, nothing more. Still… She looked south where Alexander's ship was nearing the entrance to the sea loch, was comforted. Whatever the news the dragon ship brought, she and Alexander would face it together, as they had everything else life had brought them.

She turned to start down the slope, and then took a moment to look over the glen that was her home, where she and Alexander had built a life together, blinding the remnants of her family and clan into a thriving community. The sea loch was now known as Loch Alexander, which never failed to entertain her husband. But the honor was proper, for without him, none of them would be here. Across the usually placid waters, ruffled now by the wind, the mountains rose to the north and the east, protecting them from the world beyond. Below her the fortress grew out of the rocky promontory on which it rested, and to which she now hurried, hearing the horns sounding twice, first with the familiar notes that let all below know that the lord of the glen was coming home, then again, with the message that a ship was approaching and that it was not one of their own. Alexander had the men of the clan well trained, and her staff would know to prepare a meal to welcome him and his men home. But she would greet him –and the visitors-herself.

Eriol, her younger son, tall, strong, and ready for the world, met her on the path to the postern gate, his navy hair catching the light, the same shade as his father's. He was so like his father. He had Alexander's chin, Alexander's sapphire eyes, and his wide shoulders. And his patience.

"Mother! Do you know who it is? Father and who else?"

She shook her head, not wanting to betray how breathless her headfirst rush had made her. She often forgot that she was no longer young, but her body never did. "Hai, your father's coming. But the other is a dragon ship."

Eriol's eyebrows drew together, just as his father's always did when he turned thoughtful. "From Beijing? Perhaps with the news of the empress's progress?"

Madison's mood lifted at once. Isabel, Maid of England, only nine years old, was on her way to accept her kingdom of China that she had held since she was two. "Hai. That's what it is. Takashi did say he'd let us know when she stopped in Beijing on her way to Hong Kong. I'll just-"

"Go to meet father," Eriol finished with a laugh. "As if you didn't always do that?"

"And someday, my son, if you are as lucky as your father, your wife will do the same."

"You'll have to teach her to love me as you do father."

"Love! He's been spreading rumors again, has he?"

She laughed with him and led the way into the fortress that Alexander had built to keep them all safe. Wooden walls at first, replaced over the years with thick stone walls, filled with rubble to withstand siege machines. And unable to be burnt to the ground, like both Huawaizhide and Taiwan had been. But she would not remember that now, any of it. Those reminiscences belonged to a time past, when she and her sister Naoko and young Xi Ling had faced horrors no one should have to endure. When Alexander had entered her life and changed it forever.

She'd been Alexander Hiiragizawa's wife for twenty-seven years, had borne five children and seen two live to be grown men. Jacob, already married, was learning how to manage lands and people. And Eriol was young, but Eriol would do well, for Eriol excelled at everything he attempted. All he needed-eventually-was a home of his own, and a woman to love, and, yes, to love him, for he deserved it. But that would come in time.

Alexander's Lady sailed into Loch Alexander under full sail, her husband at the helm. Madison stood, as she always did, at the end of the dock, waiting for him, Eriol at her side. The sky was darkening and the wind rising, bringing the smell of the storm with it. This one would be more than simple showers, for already the mountaintops across the loch were obscured, and the seabirds were flying inland, seeking shelter. The autumnal equinox often brought fierce storms, and this one, coming nine days later, looked to be no exception. Eriol's hair was whipping around his hair, and brushed it back with a gesture that was so like his father's that she smiled.

And then Alexander himself was calling to her, his tall form alive with movement. As always, she saw nothing else. He wore the clothes of a Chinese. He'd abandoned his English clothing long ago. Sometimes she herself forgot that he was of England and not a native of China that had always been her home. But the painting carvings along the railing of his ship, English symbols and Chinese runes painted gold against the black of the rail, reminded her that he was her gift from the sea. England's loss and China's gain.

She waved in return, her smile wide. Her man was home and all was well… for a moment at least, for there, rounding the last turn through the empty entrance that hid Loch Alexander from the world came the dragon ship. She recognized it as Takashi's at once. The Chinese had been their friend since their fateful meeting that long-ago summer 1158. Their friendship had begun strangely. They'd been enemies who quickly discovered that they were united in their hatred of Dave Yamazaki, Takashi's uncle and the man who had murdered her family. They'd joined forces and had finally defeated Dave in the mighty battle on the isle of Taipei that was still talked about all over China. Takashi waved, but not with his normal enthusiasm, and her heart lurched. Whatever news he bought was not good. She was certain it did not concern Jacob, or her brother Xi Ling, and his family, for Alexander had just come from them. Surly not Jocelyn, who was in Beijing to greeting the child empress, nowhere near the Hong Kong nor the sea.

But something had happened.

"Young woman," Alexander called, as his ship neared the dock. "You do see Takashi, Hai? Sent word to bar the door to the wine cellar. He'll drink us out of house and home."

She smiled, but saw Alexander's eyes narrow as he looked at the dragon ship and knew he saw the same tension in Takashi's stance, that she did. Takashi was wearing leather armor and a leather helmet that hid his black hair. Not the attire of a man simply visiting friends, but what a sensible man might wear in uncertain times. She kept her silence waiting while the clansmen caught the ropes and secured Alexander's Lady. She wrapped her arms around Alexander when he caught her in his embrace and kissed her for all the clan to see, his devotion never failing to please her.

He smiled down at her. "I missed you, Madison. How are you?"

"Wonderful now that you're here," she said.

She laid her hand along his cheek and kissed him again. He was no longer young, this wonderful man of hers. There were lines around his navy blue eyes and gray at his temples now, but he still moved quickly and his back was still straight. He was still the most handsome man she'd ever seen, and she was the most fortunate of women to love this fierce warrior and have him love her in return. She smiled again as Alexander hugged Eriol, clapping the boy on his shoulder.

"Tell me it's you growing and not me shrinking," Alexander said to his son.

"It's me growing, Father," Eriol said, and they both laughed.

"All is well here, love," she said. "It's good to have you home. How is everyone?"

"Well. Everyone's well," Alexander said. "Jacob is learning how to run his own, and Eleanor is the same as she always is."

Which meant, Madison thought, that their daughter in law, difficult at best, was as prickly and spoiled as ever. Jacob was a good man, but serious and cautious, and Madison had hoped he would marry a woman with laughter in soul, rather than a woman like Eleanor. Still, she pleased Jacob and what else could a mother want for her son?

"Your brother sends his love," Alexander told her. "His pile of rocks is beginning to look like a castle instead of a rubble heap. It'll be a good fortress when it's finished. Xi Ling wants you come and see it soon. Everyone there is fine." He looked at Takashi's ship and his tone deepened. "We'll see what news he brings. You've heard nothing?"

Madison shook her head. "Iie. Eriol thinks it must be about the empress' journey from England. She was to stop in the Beijing."

Alexander wrapped an arm around her. "That must be it."

"Takashi himself," Eriol said. "Must be important."

"We've not seen him here for four years," Madison said quietly. "Since we lost Emperor Reed."

Alexander met her gaze. "Hai, since we lost the king."

The dragon ship slid alongside the wooden dock, and Takashi leaned forward over the rail. He snatched off his helmet. His gaze swept across them.

"She's dead," Takashi said. "Your empress is dead in Beijing."

"Madison gasped. "Are you sure? The little girl is dead?"

"I came as soon as I heard," Takashi said. "The word is just getting out. I knew you'd want to hear it at once."

"Oh, the poor child!" Madison cried.

Alexander reached to clasp Takashi's hand. "Hai, you're right. And I thank you for bringing word yourself, my friend. Now come inside and tell us all the rest of it."

"What does it mean?" Eriol asked. "What will her death mean?"

"There will be a struggle for the kingdom," Madison told her son, shaking her head. "And there's no assurance that the winner will be the best leader for our people."

"It means," Alexander said, "that the wolves will be coming out of their lairs. And the leopard in the south will wait to see who wins. Gods help China now."

There was not much more for Takashi Yamazaki to tell then the stark news of the child empress's death on her journey to claim her kingdom. She'd been called the Maid of England because her father had been King Terada of that land, but her grandfather had been China's Emperor Reed, and she had been the queen of China since she was two. The Maid, the daughter of Reed's daughter, had been the last of his line. Now she too was dead, and the succession was left unclear.

Madison sat with Alexander and Eriol near the huge stone fire place in their Great Hall, listening to Takashi. The years since she'd last seen the Chinese from Beijing had changed him. Takashi was younger than Alexander, but his black hair was ribboned with gray. He looks weary beyond words, and she felt a wave of affection for their staunch friend. Takashi had left his own wife and family to bring the news to them. There were good men in the world- even in Beijing.

"It's said she became ill on the voyage," Takashi said. "Some say, of course, that she was poisoned, but I've heard she was sickly. And in truth, there is no reason for England or us Chinese to have the child die on their watch.

"Nor does it benefit Emperor Minamoto," Alexander said. "This will change his plans."

"A child should not be a pawn in games of powers," Madison said. "What was her father thinking to let her leave him? She's just a little girl." She paused. "She was just a little girl, poor soul."

"Her father was thinking that he'd signed the treaty with Minamoto of Japan, pledging her to his son," Alexander said. "And Emperor Mina's a mere boy, only twenty, I think. Minamoto is a force to be reckoned with. Lesser men have crumbled before him. I'm not surprised that Mina let Minamoto have his way."

"Foul thing, that," Takashi said, "to wed your son to your sister's granddaughter."

"And as foul to have the Pope approve it," Alexander said "But approve it he did. And now there is no clear heir."

"It'll have to go back generations," Madison said. "The Bruce clan will claim the kingdom is theirs. So will the Li clan who were my kin." She sighed, thinking of the measures her kin might take to assure that their position. "And there are a host of illegitimate royal children who could make claims."

Takashi frowned. "Surely they'll have no success? I'm no expert on China politics, but I cannot remember a bastard taking the kingdom."

"Actually," Alexander said with a laugh, "many bastards have taken the kingdom. But no, I cannot see one of the earlier emperors' bastards getting the kingdom. What's the talk in Beijing? What are your people thinking?"

Takashi smiled ruefully. "That they wish she'd died somewhere else. Some are thinking this will bring King Terada of England's wrath on Beijing, although Terada's men were with her. Others are afraid that the China will blame us and take revenge, or that Minamoto of Japanese will. And although no one's saying it straight out, some are wondering if she was as ill as she was made out to be."

Alexander's brows furrowed. "Murder?"

"Unlikely, but not impossible," Takashi said. "Show me a country where men cannot be bought or frightened into betraying someone who trusted them. There are evil men in every land. As we know."

Alexander nodded. "There is the kingdom at stake. That will bring out the greedy ones and China, like everywhere, has its share."

"What will Jocelyn do?" Madison asked, turned to Takashi. "Naoko and her older daughter, Megan, were to serve the empress. They're at Shanghai, waiting for her arrival."

"Well," Alexander said to Madison, "now Naoko will not be going to Tomoeda with the empress. Despite the reason for it, that should please you, young woman."

"Hai," Madison said, comforted by the thought. The Maid was to have stopped at Shanghai and Fujian to greet many of Chinese's nobles, and then travel to Tomoeda, to live at Emperor Minamoto's place and await her marriage to Minamoto's son. Naoko was to have accompanied her, with her daughters. "I wonder if Naoko was stay at Shanghai while the emperor is chosen. What if she hasn't heard yet? We must get word to her."

"I'll go," Eriol said eagerly, drawing her gaze. "I'll go to Shanghai and tell her."

Her son's face was alight with the possibility of the journey, and Madison felt a feeling of fear. She would lose him. She'd always known they could not keep Eriol at Loch Alexander forever, that its peaceful life was not enough to hold him. They'd taken him on their travels to Japan and throughout China and he had accompanied Alexander to the Continent and to Tomoeda. But Eriol was ready now for more. Or thought he was.

Alexander looked at his son thoughtfully. "They will hear this before we can get you or anyone there, but it might be a good idea to send you. I'd like to know what is being said at court."

"I could leave in the morning," Eriol said.

"You'd need other to go with you"

"Not many," Eriol said, naming a few young men.

Madison listened to them discussing the journey. Eriol's manner betrayed his growing excitement, and she hid her own sadness. Why could Eriol not have ventured into a peaceful China, as his brother had? Why now was he hearing the call to join the world, when once again China was about to plunge into turmoil? Or was she being ridiculous? She leaned close to her husband.

"Alexander, I feared this," she whispered. "Am I wrong, love, to worry so?"

Alexander kissed the top of her head. But he did not answer.

October 1185

Tomoeda

"There will be men," Tomoyo Daidouji's Okaa-san said, bending to examine the hem of Tomoyo's dress. "They will test you, you know. They are the hunters."

"Hai, Okaa-san," Tomoyo said.

She had heard this lecture many times before. The men whom her mother called "the hunter," preyed upon young girls foolish enough to exchange their virginity for a few trinkets. Invisible in her modest clothing, she'd watched these men lean over a shoulder, caress a cheek, and kiss a neck. And never notice her watching. But those days were over. Now she would be one of those pursued.

"Most of the men are married," her mother said, adjusting the fall of the silk gown Tomoyo worn. "But even those who are not do not have honorable intentions. Some of the girls are foolish enough to think what they're being offered is true affection. They do not see it for the game of hunter and prey that it is." She straightened and looked into Tomoyo's eyes. "Those girls do not realize that they are nothing more than a prize, a name for these men to brandish before their friends and then be forgotten. Many a young girl has mistaken lust for love and exchanged away her only value. You will not be one of them."

"Iie, Okaa-san."

She knew the answer her mother wanted to hear. And truly, she had listened and learned, knew the price of such foolishness. She was taking the place of a girl from a good family who had suddenly left the royal household after weeks of vomiting at strange times, obviously with child. Tomoyo would not be so foolish.

"Remember this day," her mother said. "Nothing will ever be the same. You have been invited to serve Meiling of China, by God's mercy the Empress of Japan and Ireland and Aquitaine. Over all the others, she chose you, a Japanese girl, instead of one from her own land. It is a high honor. And an unexpected one, given who we are."

And while the honor could not be declined, neither could it be explained. Her mother was convinced it was because of their ties of the kingdom, but that had been generations ago, and, the family had been all but ignored in the years since. Tomoyo's great-grandmother had been seduced by an emperor who had never acknowledged the child-her grandmother-and who had been disowned by her family, left to fend for herself. Happily, the emperor had given her great-grandmother a house of her own in the City of Tomoeda, where she had raised her daughter alone, and done it well.

It had helped, of course, that Tomoyo's great-grandmother had been a beauty and had passed those qualities down. Tomoyo was fortunate to have inherited her mother's clear skin and amethyst eyes and wavy black hair. She had her mother's long fingers and, her mother told her, her father's height. Her mother's expression softened and she turned Tomoyo to face their luxury, the long mirror from the Continent that had been a gift from her grandfather.

"Look at yourself."

Tomoyo looked at her image, wavy in the glass, and a young girl who put on a brave face. She was ready for this new part of her life, but she was terrified of it as well. She was not afraid of the work, although she knew she would be asked to do the least pleasant tasks, those things that the empress's older and far more powerful ladies would not stoop to do. What terrified her was that, after all these years, of being unseen, she would suddenly be highly visible, a topic of discussion, of speculation. There would be many who would question why she, of all those at court or in the nobility, had been chosen by the empress.

"I wish your father were here to see this," her mother said fiercely.

"And I as well. He would have been so pleased."

Her mother raised an eyebrow. Her mother did not mourn the loss of her father as she did. Mother rarely spoken of him, and never with fondness. Tomoyo had only small memories of a man lifting her into his arms, his laughter merry, and his embrace comforting. She missed him, even after all these years.

"You must never trust any of them," Mother said. "Listen, learn, and laugh. Flirt. But never, never trust."

Tomoyo nodded again. She knew what the court was. She'd been born in the shadow of a royal palace, where her father had been a clerk of the Wardrobe. Despite its name, the entity had little to do with clothing. The Wardrobe handled all the financial dealings of the emperor's household. The servants, garments, and accoutrements of the emperor and empress, of course, but much more, for the Wardrobe equipped not only the royal household but the emperor's armies as well. The Wardrobe was responsible for purchasing, dispensing and storing large supplies of armor, bows, swords, spears, lances, and other weapons, as well as the horses and the servants to care for it all.

Her mother was head seamstress for the empress, with a staff of five, and rooms at Tokyo and here at Tomoeda. Tomoyo had spent most of her young years roaming the halls of royal palaces, invisible to royal family and the nobles who frequented those halls. She had watched them with fascination, as a child mimicking their accents and manners for her mother's and grandmother's amusement. But all of that had changed now, for she would serve the empress.

Meiling of China was wife to Emperor Minamoto, a tiger of a man. Once Tomoyo had admired him. Now she hated him. Minamoto was a harsh emperor, one year of champion of the Christians, another year expelling them from their homes. She would never forgive him for his casual cruelty. Meiling, on the other hand, had taken the time occasionally to talk to her seamstress's daughter. Tomoyo had heard stories that with others-especially the tenants on her lands- Meiling were not so pleasant, and she certainly was not a popular empress with the people.

"What I don't understand," Tomoyo said, "is why I was chosen. The empress has always been kind to me, but we've not spoken a great deal, and I would not have thought she could even remember my name."

"There was a sudden opening, remember. She has known you all your life."

"Okaa-san, Empress certainly does not know me."

"Are you questioning your good fortune, Tomoyo? Most young girls would be delighted to have been offered this position. Most women in Japan would be delighted! You have the chance to reclaim our family's name, and perhaps to make a brilliant marriage. Why do you have to examine everything? If the empress does not know you well, time will remedy that."

"When I have become settled," Tomoyo said, "when the empress does know me, I will talk to her about Emperor Minamoto expelling the Christians. Surly, if I explain it well, that emperor was too harsh, that they did nothing wrong and have lost everything simply because handful of Tomoeder complained about them, surely she will talk to Emperor Minamoto. He could easily cancel his exclusion order."

Mother straightened, her eyes blazed. "You will not!"

"But I will, Mother. The emperor is only looking at it from one point of view. Jews are forbidden to lend money, and that's why the Christians were brought to Tomoeda. A few years ago the emperor himself defended them, and now this!"

"The emperor had put into the Tower and demanded they pay a fine to be released, Tomoyo! You will be silent on this."

"Sakura's family was driven out of Tomoeda like cattle. You did not see it. I did. And what did they do-prosper? Is that their sin?"

"They refused to acknowledge Gods."

"As do the Moors, but they are allowed to stay."

"There are not so many of them."

"They have not the wealth that the Jews have. Had. Do you not see this as an injustice, Mother? How can you see this?" I have lost my dearest friend-because of money!"

"It was time for that friendship to end, Tomoyo. It was unnatural."

"Unnatural! We were little girls together. There is nothing unnatural about that. She was my friend when others scorned us. She did not care that Grandmother was illegitimate and I did not care that she was a Christian."

"You must tell no one that you were friends with Sakura Kinomoto! No one! And you will not approach the empress with any complaint, let alone this one. You will risk more than a rebuke, Tomoyo, you risk your very life. And mine. And your grandmother's. Do you understand who you are, who the empress is? With one word she could have us all imprisoned or put to death. Your grandmother could be punished for allowing your friendship- encouraging it, even, and keeping it from me. You know I never approved of you being friends with her. I would lose my station, at the very least. You risk our lives!"

"If she is so harsh an empress that no one can talk to her, then why do I want to serve her at all? What loyalty do I have to Emperor Minamoto, whose grandfather chose not to acknowledge his own child? How easy it would been to acknowledge her!"

"You speak treason, Tomoyo!" Mother took a step back from her. "It is not for us to question the dealings of Emperors. I know you are young, and losing Sakura has wounded you, but you cannot ever speak of these things again. Ever! We have no choice in this. This is your grandmother's fault, letting you roam and mix with all sorts of people." Her expression softened. "Child, I know how steadfast you are, and that this has been difficult, being neither here or there. I ask you now to be loyal to me, and to your grandmother. You have been chosen to be elevated. It is a great honor, and God's plan for you. Do not question it. I pray you, child, keep your silence. Promise me that you will not confront the empress on this! You hold our very lives in your hands."

"Do you really believe that, Mother? That for merely questioning the emperor's expulsion of the Christians, we could all died?"

"Have you learned nothing in all your years at court? Why would you think that the empress would not agree with her husband in this? They are in accord on everything else, child. And if she were to complain to Minamoto of you, what think you of our chances then? Does he seem the kind of emperor who would enjoyed being questions? Do you think he would hesitate to have us removed from his presence? Do not question this, Tomoyo. Dislike it if you will, but say nothing. Promise me that you will say nothing."

"Mother-"

"Promise me!" Her mother burst into tears. "Go, then! Go. I cannot do more with this hanging between us." She wept into her hands.

Tomoyo sighed. Her mother never took the middle road on anything. All was perfect or it was unsalvageable. There was no other choice. She'd become accustomed to her mother's swings, the suddenness with which her moods changed. People once considered friends had been cut out of her life forever, but Tomoyo had never understood it. She could not imagine abandoning Sakura-who would have laughed at Tomoyo serving the empress. Tomoyo sighed, missing her friend even more and knowing she would not speak of this to the empress. Yet. She was sure there would come a day, when she and Meiling were alone, when she could talk of all this.

"Promise me at least that you will not risk our lives, Tomoyo."

"Iie, Okaa-san. I will not risk your and grandmother's lives."

"Or yours. Promise me!"

"I promise to be cautious."

Mother wiped her tears away. "Good. When the Court is at Tokyo, you will live with the empress's ladies and I will see you every day. Where the empress goes, you will go, of course. When she travels, you will travel. You will take an escort with you when you visit your grandmother. Remember to ask for it and don't go dashing off by yourself."

"I don't need an escort. I've been walking Tomoeda streets all my life."

"Not alone at night you haven't. Promise that if it is late and there is no one to escort you, you will stay in the palaces."

Tomoyo nodded. That would be no hardship; she liked the palaces with its three hundred years of history. She wondered what it would have been like to lived then, when William of Normandy Conqueror of the Japan, had built the magnificent structure and surrounding walls to protect his men and court from the hostile local population. Her mother hated the Palaces, and although she'd never said why, Tomoyo thought she knew. Her father's office had been there. The very buildings must be very painful reminder of her loss.

She watched her mother sew and thought of all the years her mother had served the empress, all the years she had been invisible at court, all the year she had cared for Tomoyo alone. And now, by a twist of fortune, Tomoyo had been given this golden chance. Somehow, she told herself, she will find a way to reconcile the two, to talk with the empress and still not endanger her family. She was sure she could. Somehow, strange as it seemed to her, she had caught the eye and the favor of the empress. She would be a fool not to make use of that.

"Name the empress's ladies," Mother said.

Tomoyo did, their faces coming to her mind with their names. Important women from important families, wives and daughters of important men. And Tomoyo, of no importance at all. But every one of them would know why Tomoyo had been included, and once again her great-grandmother's one sin would be recognized, but never discussed.

"Lady Dickleburg," her mother said. "You forgot her."

"Oh, hai," Tomoyo said, nodding, thinking of the aging courtier with distaste. Lady Dickleburg behaved as though she were young and desirable, but those days, and years, were the long past, although she gave no sign of recognizing that.

She wore clothes appropriate to a much younger woman, her very low necklines revealing deep wrinkles on her neck and décolletage, her deeper breasts no longer able to hold the bodice in the correct position. During the day sunlight cast shadows in the deep wrinkles around her mouth and eyes, and makes the eye makeup she used to hide the gray in her hair all too visible. Tomoyo's mother often said that Lady Dickleburg pulled the coils of her hair tightly to the top of her head to draw her skin up to hide some of wrinkles, but the attempt failed. Her skin, surrounded as it was by the white silk wimple she wore, was pasty. Her small brown eyes looked beady behind the folds of skins that threatened to hide them altogether. Her husband, a baron of little note from Sendai, was neither influential nor wealthy, and his family was certainly not noteworthy. Tomoyo thought her repulsive.

"Why is she still at court? Does she have some importance I don't know?"

Mother laughed. "In her youth she was attractive enough, in a sly and furtive sort of way. She was a very willing companion."

"Is it true that she was a mistress to several important men? Several!"

"It is. And some were willing to pay to have her stay at court rather than risk her talking of all she knew. They gave her rooms in which to live, bought her clothes and jewels to keep her quiet."

"What does her husband think of all that? Did he knows?"

"Do the waves on the shore retreat and return? Hai he knew. He flourished because of it, was contest to look aside and take other men's leavings. There may be no willing to pay for her favors now, but there were those who are willing to pay for her silence. She could smell a secret miles away. Never trust her with anything you do not want all of Tomoeda to know. She can be an interesting ally, for she knows everything about everyone. Now, you will need to be alert when you travel with the empress. The roads are not safe, and even with the emperor's men guarding you, you must be careful."

Tomoyo nodded, thinking of Sakura and her family. No word since they'd left. Tomoyo had not truly expected to hear from her friend, but it was so hard not to know what had happened to them. She sighed.

"I wonder where Sakura-"

"Hai, hai," Mother said. "I know you still worry. But we may never know what happened to them. Her father will have thought of somewhere to go. It's been but three months. Sakura and her family have no doubt found a haven somewhere."

"But where would they go? They had to leave Japan!"

"There is a world outside Japan. There are many places where a man like Fujitaka Kinomoto could find a position."

"I should ask Lady Dickleburg," Tomoyo said with a laugh. "If as you say, she knows everything, she'll know where they are. Or knows who knows."

Mother did not answer but looked at her with a strange expression. Then she put her needle down and stared at Tomoyo's skirts. Tomoyo watched her uneasily.

"It was banter, Okaa-san. I will not ask her about Sakura."

"Tomoyo," Mother said, an odd more note in her voice.

"And I promise to stop talking about Sakura. I know it's not wise even to acknowledge that we were friends. I do love her, but I will stop talking about her."

"Tomoyo." Mother did not look up from the helm. "There is something you need to know." She stood now and put a hand on Tomoyo's cheek, then sighed and walked across the room. "I would rather you never knew, but you need to know the truth, and I would have you hear it from me rather than from Lady Dickleburg, or someone else at court. There would never mention it in front of me, but now that you will be among them, someone is sure to tell you." She sighed again.

"Mother, I know all about great-grandmother's … folly. I know that Grandmother is unlawful. I've known that for years."

Her mother shook her head. "It is not that, Tomoyo. I know you've known about that. But … there is more that you need to know. And I do not know how to tell you." She turned to the window, tracing a finger along the leaded glass.

Tomoyo waited, her heart beginning to pound. What could it be? Was grandmother ill? Was that why Mother wanted her to visit her more often? Another possibility occurred to her.

"Are you ill, Mother? You look well, but are you…?"

"Iie, Iie. It is not me, child. Or rather, it is. You see, your father…I…" Mother turned from the window, her chin raised. "I was very young, not much older than you are now. He was so handsome and charming, and I believed everything he told me, that I was beautiful and that he loved me and that he would always love me and always be with me. He won my heart. I thought he loved me. And so I… I became his lover. And you came from that union."

"But there is no shame in that, Mother! Men and women always declare their love and marry and have children. It is the way of the world."

"The way of the world." Mother's laugh was unpleasant. "I should have known better, Tomoyo. I knew the shame of being a bastard. I knew the things said about my grandmother, that she was a emperor whore. I knew that my mother suffered for her mother's mistake and that her family disowned her. And still I learned nothing from knowing all that."

"But, Mother-"

"Hush! You need to hear this, and if I do not tell you now, I may never tell you. I am throwing you into a pit of wolves and I have just realized how ill-prepared you are." She took a deep breath. "I have misled you. Your father is not dead. He is alive."