Chapter 23 : Wormtail, Moony, Padfoot and Prongs
"Oh Bugger!" Lily exclaimed as tea spilt down her front. James immediately bit his lip in sympathy for her pain and turned his back to her, desperately trying to hide his mirror from her.
"Uh James, what are you doing?" Lily asked in an accusatory tone.
"Uh, I didn't want to see if your shirt would go see through when wet."
"First of all James, I'm wearing a dressing gown, which is hardly going to go see through when wet as that would completely defeat its purpose, and secondly… you know that not what I meant!"
James inwardly admitted defeat and turned back to face her. His head was spinning with possible explanations for Lily, and also the excuse he was going to give his mother, when her head arrived in the mirror to find James standing in a strange living room, with a girl in her dressing gown, who was now – James felt a lump grow in his throat – patting down her chest in an attempt to dry it.
"Well this is," he began, but was, of course, cut off by his mother's voice.
"James!" she called a bit loudly – she wasn't used to using the mirror. James' mouth flapped open for a few moments like a goldfish. He had two choices. He could try to maintain his reputation in front of Lily, ignore his mother, put the mirror away and pay for it when he got home or… he could talk to his mother in front of his biggest crush.
Lily made his mind up for him.
"Answer it," she all but breathed, obviously not wanting to be heard.
"James!" came another shout.
"Hello Mum," he said a bit warily. "How are you?" He glanced at Lily, who was gazing intently at the mirror and didn't notice.
"James, where are you? Boots just came down from the coach house to say you weren't there, and now Sirius has just handed me this, saying that you wanted a word. Now what is it?"
James took a deep breath. This was possibly the worst situation he had ever been in in his life. Well ok, that was a bit of an exaggeration. That time in 5th year when he had had to go down the passage under the whomping willow to stop Snape being killed by Remus had probably been worse than this. And finding out that Remus was actually a werewolf in 2nd year hadn't exactly been a picnic. But at the moment this situation wasn't exactly great.
"Well Mum… the thing is…" He could see his mum giving him a glare from the other side of the mirror. "I went out to pick… something up for the party…" He felt Lily's eyes flicker on to him and then back to the mirror. "Well you see… it's not exactly ready yet… so…" He bit the bullet. "I'm not going to be home tonight, because it's easier for me to wait here for it, and come home with it tomorrow." He closed his eyes and flinched, he had never told his mother what he was going to do in his life, he had always asked. "Ok?" he added, trying to soften her a bit.
"James?" his mother replied, sounding surprisingly light-hearted. "This item you've gone to pick up…" She was going to try and trick him out, but James was already one step ahead of her.
'A banner, I've gone to collect a banner' he repeated in his head.
"…what's her name?"
'Damn.'
"It's Lily Evans Mum, you know, the head girl." Somehow, he thought adding that would make the situation sound a bit better.
"Oh." By the tone of his mother's voice he could tell it had. "Well let me speak to her then." Without thinking James immediately held the mirror up to Lily, and then withdrew it just as fast. His eyes met with the thunderous ones of his mother.
"James William Potter, would you like to explain to me what you are doing in a strange living room, with a strange girl dressed only in a bathrobe?!!"
"Mrs Potter, it is really not what it looks like." James was glad Lily had taken it upon herself to sort this out, for he was sure that he would never be able to regain the power of speech and movement ever again. He watched helplessly as Lily took the mirror from him and sat down on her sofa with it, tucking her half-dry hair nervously behind her ears.
"You see Mrs Potter, James only told me he was coming to collect me a few hours ago, and well, silly me I didn't manage to get ready on time. He caught me just as I was coming out of the bath." James watched in awe as Lily fed his mother, what could only be described as complete and utter lies.
"Well could I speak to your parents please?"
"I'm sorry but that won't be possible, Mrs Potter. You see my dad is away for a few days, that's actually the reason I can't leave with James until the morning, I have to wait until he comes back."
"Well what about your mother?"
"My mum hasn't been well this winter, and I'm afraid she is in no fit state to come to the… mirror."
"Well… tell James that it's ok for him to stay until tomorrow morning, but I'll be having words with him when he gets back!"
"Ok Mrs Potter, sorry for any inconvenience."
"Ok. Goodbye dear."
"Goodbye."
There was a slight glow from the mirror and it returned to being a normal household object.
"You're amazing," James managed to splutter.
"And you're useless," Lily replied, handing him back the mirror. "What is this by the way?"
"A two-way mirror, Sirius and I use them to speak to each other when we're in separate detentions." Lily rolled her eyes at him. "Look, thank you so much for that, you really saved me."
"Well I was afraid that the next thing that was going to come out of your mouth would be 'Uh because we were having sex', and I didn't want your mother to think that little of me."
"I would never have said that," James answered defiantly. Lily raised an eyebrow. "Well, maybe if it had been Sirius, but never to my mother!"
"Well, I believe you, thousands wouldn't. I guess I better show you where you'll be sleeping."
"I didn't get to ask her how to get to my house though," James remembered, inwardly kicking himself.
"Well, I know how to get us to Caitlin's, we'll figure out where to go from there ok?"
With that, James followed her out of the living room and up the stairs. He watched as she opened the third door across the small landing to reveal brightly pink room, with only a bed, a lamp and an old chair in it.
"My sister's old room," Lily explained. "You should be alright in here."
"Is that why they made you head girl?" James blurted out before Lily could close the door on her way out of the room.
"What do you mean?" Lily asked, leaning on the door.
"Because you can lie so convincingly," James explained. "I mean I always thought it was because of your good grades but…"
"James," Lily interrupted. "How do you know I really am the head girl?"
And with a wink she shut the door behind her.
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Something that James had failed to notice in the dark the night before, was that not only did the room have very little furniture, it also had no curtains. It was because of this that James had been awake since seven because of the light, and because there was nothing in the room to amuse him, and he didn't want to go prowling around Lily's house by himself, he had spent a very boring couple of hours sitting on the foot of the bed.
'This must be how muggles live,' he had thought to himself.
At around nine, he was pleased to see the door of the bedroom open a crack.
"Are you awake?" Lily's voice called through it.
"Yes," James called brightly.
"Are you decent?"
"Yes."
The door opened fully to show Lily standing with a tray in her hands.
"Do you want something to eat?"
"Yes.
"Good morning by the way," James said, as Lily handed him some scrambled egg, sausages and toast.
"Good morning," Lily replied. The pair looked at each other, and it was only then it hit them both just how strange this situation really was. Strange because it didn't really seem that strange at all.
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About an hour later they were on their way. James had met Lily's mother briefly before they left. When Lily had told his mother that she had been unwell this winter she really hadn't been lying. Not to be unkind, but to him she had looked simply awful. He didn't really understand muggle diseases, but he did pick up that this one was serious.
The rest of Lily's family James did not meet. They pulled up in the driveway, just as Lily drove off. In fact James was nearly sure she had timed it to be like that.
"Shouldn't we stop to say hello?" James asked as he watched them get out of their car.
"You can wave if you want," Lily offered. He did so. "That's my dad waving back at you, and that's my sister glaring."
"How do you know? You're not even looking at them!"
"Trust me. I know."
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About 40 minutes after that, they were travelling down what Lily had told James was called a dual carriageway, and all was silent in Lily's brown Mini. In fact the only time anyone had spoken was when Lily had told James that this road was called a dual carriageway.
"So…" James sighed. "What's your family like then? Any brothers or sisters?"
Lily looked quizzically at him.
"James, I told you all that in the letters."
"Oh so we are allowed to mention them then? I thought you were pretending they never happened."
"Look I'm sorry," Lily replied, her posture relaxing a bit at the wheel. "I guess I'm still finding this a bit weird. I mean yes I know we're friends in the letters, but those are the letters, and this is like… well this is real life, and its hard to merge the two. Do you know what I mean?"
"Yes," James lied.
"Really?"
"No." Lily looked a bit upset at this. "Look, I know what'll we'll do," he added quickly. "I'll ask you a question, something I didn't ask in the letters, and then you ask me a question, and this time we'll get to know each other in… real life."
And so it began. About an hour and a half later they were still going strong. Lily was laughing so hard she was finding it hard to drive in a straight line.
"I can't believe you believe in Santa Claus!"
"I can't believe you don't!" James retorted. "Lily, you're a witch, you know magic is all around us! OF COURSE THERE'S A FRIGGIN' SANTA CLAUS!"
"And he lives at the North Pole and everything?"
"Well no, the muggles made that up. Actually he lives just outside Bolton."
Lily laughed even harder.
"Well anyway it's your turn."
"No it's not," James argued. "You asked me did I believe in Santa, I said yes, and then I asked you did you not, so it's your turn."
"Well I hardly think that counts but alright, I've just thought of a good one anyway."
She took a deep breath, whilst James pretended to brace himself by grabbing on to the dashboard.
"What does your nickname mean?"
"What do you mean?" James managed to say calmly, inside his head he was screaming.
"What does Prongs mean? What does it stand for? How'd you get it?"
"I can't tell you." It was the first time in the game that a question hadn't been answered, and it was clear that Lily wasn't going to stand for that.
"James no fair, you have to tell me, I promise whatever it is I'll not tell anyone, not even Caitlin."
"Caitlin knows already," James found himself saying before he could stop.
"Well then you have to tell me!"
It never even crossed James' mind to tell her the truth, there was not just his own freedom at stake here, but that of his friends, and he would never put that at risk.
"It's really embarrassing."
"Go on," Lily coaxed.
James muttered something incoherent.
"What?" Lily asked loudly.
"It's because I'm really horny," James said a bit louder. Lily looked at him a bit uncomfortably. "Not right now, obviously! I mean when I was younger, when I got the nickname."
"I don't get it," Lily stated after a brief pause.
"Prongs," James made a gesture on his head like antlers. "Horns, horny. You get it now?"
"Oooooooooh right! Are they all like that then?"
"What? You mean are all men horny?… Basically yea…"
"No!" Lily stopped him. "I mean are all the nicknames, you know, from stuff like that?"
"Stuff like what?"
"You know… sexual innuendoes?"
James laughed so hard that no sound came out.
"Sexual innuendoes?" he managed to splutter after a while. "I've never heard it said like that before!"
"Shush! Don't laugh at me!" Lily reached over and punched him playfully in the arm. "Come on then, what does Wormtail stand for?"
"Lily that's more than one question."
"Shush!"
"Oh alright then." James pointed towards his groin. Lily took her eyes off the road for a moment to see what he was pointing at.
"What? … Oh my God! That's disgusting!" she yelled, shuddering.
"Yes it is, so if he ever offers to show it to you say no!"
"I doubt he ever would, but thanks for the warning," Lily giggled. "Right so what about Moony?"
"Think about it," James said slowly. He had run out of ideas, he was going to have to let her make this one up herself. "What do you think it means?"
Lily pondered for a while, then suddenly formed her own conclusion about the name.
"Oh Merlin! Really? Is that how he got that?" Lily laughed in apparent disbelief.
"I know, disgraceful isn't it?" James nodded. In reality he had absolutely no idea what conclusion she had come to, but by her reaction he was pretty sure it wasn't 'werewolf'.
"But I've never seen Remus moon anyone in my life."
James' eyes widened as he realised what she had just said, and how he was going to explain this to Remus when he saw him next.
"Yes well," he gave a slight cough. "You wouldn't have, he disguises himself when he does it doesn't he? You wouldn't have known it was him." He gazed intently out of the car window, pretending to be taking in the passing countryside, praying she wouldn't ask anymore about this.
"But James… I don't think I've ever seen anyone moon anyone in my life."
James sighed to himself and turned back round to face her.
"Look do you want to know the truth? Do you think you can handle it?" Lily nodded fervently. "Huge. Ministry. Cover-up." James gave a pompous little nod and turned back to the window. Lily hit him on the shoulder.
"What do you mean? Huge ministry cover-up?!"
"Well," James answered, sounding very 'all-knowing'. "Every time he does his… 'public displays' they are just that, very public." Lily's mouth opened in mock horror. "Ministry officials are called in and everybody's memory is wiped. I mean, he does it all the time, sorting hat, Halloween feast, Yule ball. You will have seen it, you just don't know you've seen it, but Sirius, Peter and I? We know man, we know!" Lily started to laugh again and James joined her.
"James William Potter, you know, I think you just might be pulling my leg."
"You know, Lily Margaret Evans, I think I just might be." The pair looked at each other and smiled.
"Right well what does Padfoot mean then?" Lily continued.
"Merlin, are you never going to give this up?" James yelled, exasperated. "Maybe it's because he prefers wearing notepads to shoes or something, even I don't know anymore!" He slumped into his seat, pretending to be exhausted. "Are we there yet?"
"Yea we're almost at Caitlin's and then you're going to have to lead me from there, ok? Now sit up, it's your turn!" Lily barked at him, sounding a bit like his mother.
"Ok," James groaned, shifting a bit in his seat. "What's wrong with your mum then?" James watched as Lily kept her eyes dead set on the road ahead.
"Nothing," she said flatly. "She's just got a bit of flu that's all, she should be fine by the time I get back."
James had the distinct impression he wasn't the only one lying anymore.
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About 20 minutes after that, they were driving just along side Caitlin's house. It was a tall, black building, about four storeys high, and stood by itself on top of a slight hill. There was a circle of trees surrounding the whole property, preventing you from seeing the bottom two storeys from the road, and James had always felt that entering the house was like stepping back 100 years in time.
"Do you know you're way from here?" Lily inquired, startling James a bit. She hadn't spoken much since James had asked about her mother.
"Yea, take the next left, it's not very far from here." Lily did so, and they were greeted by the picturesque vision of the tiny village of Godric's Hollow.
"Wow," Lily exclaimed quietly. "This place is really quaint, isn't it?"
"Yea," James half-heartedly agreed. "Have you not been here before?"
"No, I've never been past Caitlin's house. To be honest, I never really wanted to go into the village in case I ran into you," Lily admitted, rather embarrassed.
"Sorry," James mumbled, not really wanting to think of a time when Lily would rather have avoided him. "The truth is I rarely go into the village myself." James shifted a bit in his seat again. "The locals all think my family's a bit… mad." Lily looked quizzically at him. "Well, the gates to my house are just on the other side of the village," he tried to explain. He paused for a moment. "You'll understand when you see them."
And soon enough they were there, at James' gates. With the two familiar giant golden snitches, one on each gatepost, looming above them.
Right there you go, hope you could all remember what was actually going on in this story, I'll try to update again soon I promise.
Please Review!!!!
orly23: Sorry that chapter wasn't as long. I'm pretty sure the next one's going to be really long though. Thanks for reviewing!
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