People, you can not hide from us the fact that this fic has well over one hundred hits and yet only five reviews. Kudos to twiggy shino, who was the only one who reviewed the last chapter. The rest of you, please review!

RAFT tip of the day: If a rapist pursues you while you are injured, quickly shoot up your flare gun, to alert us of your presence. We will come.

Shino's First Date

The next day, Alex was out exploring the streets of Konoha, searching for someone to buy her breakfast. So far, she was failing miserably. If only she could find Lee, or that nice guy with Chouji who bought them barbeque the previous night. She sighed miserably. Suddenly, she was tackled from behind.

"Boo!!!" Alex started as she was knocked to the ground, Lee landing on top of her. Groaning, she stood and faced him.

"AHH! A monster! Oh wait, never mind. Lee, what are you doing?" He grinned sheepishly.

"I am very sorry. I thought that maybe if you thought you were being attacked, you would unconsciously use your mystic moon powers to defend yourself. Then I would learn your secret and defeat Neji!" Alex sighed.

"Okay whatever; I'll forget that ever happened. But only if you buy me breakfast. I'm hungry!" She gave him puppy-dog eyes, and he immediately brightened.

"Alright! Come with me your Highness, I will find you the finest food in Konoha!" Lee then pranced ahead of her, intent on finding her amazing food. After four places he had decided were not good enough, Alex was getting delirious.

"Lee, if I don't get to eat within the next five minutes, I'm going to bite off your hand! Let's go back there now!"

"No! I can find better! I will ge-----Ah! Neji, my eternal rival, I see you have recovered from your defeat!" Said person Neji simply glared at Lee, before turning to look at Alex. He narrowed his eyes; she was awake and looking perfectly fine. Well, she wouldn't be for long if he could help it.

"Your majesty, you remember Neji, my eternal rival, whom you defeated."

"She didn't beat me."

"Not true, she did, and I will learn her secret, and defeat you!" Alex stared at Neji. This was the person Lee was so desperate to beat?

"Lee, you didn't tell me you were fighting girls! I could have come up with a strategy to defeat her! Snap her bra, it hurts like hell." Lee and Neji both stared at her incredulously, hardly believing what they were hearing.

"You think...you think Neji is a girl? Ha hahaha----"

"That is not funny. I assure you, I am male." Alex blinked at him.

"Really? But you have such long pretty hair. And you're wearing a dress!" Neji growled.

"This is not a dress; it is the traditional wear of the Hyuuga clan. If you insinuate one more time that I am a girl, you will regret you ever said anything at all."

"No, no Neji. Don't deny your feminine side, it is not a crime to look nice. Okay, now sing with me: I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and g-----ow, Sasuke, what are you doing here?" Sasuke had appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Alex, pulling her to the side. Three kunai were embedded behind her in the wall where she had previously been standing. Neji looked furious and ready to kill.

"Come with me. Your assistance is required." Sasuke began to drag Alex away.

"Okay, bye Lee bye Neji it's okay to a pretty girl, just accept it." Neji proceeded to throw three more kunai at her. Luckily Alex sneezed right before they hit her head, and they whizzed right over her. Sasuke simply sighed and dragged her out of sight.

"Why is it that neither of you can be by yourselves for five minutes without causing trouble?" Alex looked over at him sideways.

"I wasn't alone! I was with Lee and Neji!" Sasuke slapped his forehead.

"Lee should have kept you from insulting Neji, but I will give you some advice. Do not ever insult Neji, unless you want t----hey! Are you even listening to me?" Alex was currently doing cartwheels along side of him, very obviously not paying attention to anything he said. He growled and took three deep breaths before continuing.

"I need your help." At that Alex stopped doing cartwheels and started to walk along side him.

"Why?"

"Shino asked Charlie out on a date, and he asked me to ask you to help her get ready, because I know nothing about girls." Alex stood and blinked at Sasuke. Something about this sounded suspicious, but, oh well.

"Okay!" Alex set off to find Charlie while Sasuke went to find said ninja and convince him to go on a date with her. A few minutes later, he stopped. Why should he go off and do something potentially dangerous like this when there were perfectly persuasive idiots that would do the job for him?

"Hey Sasuke, where are you going?"

"Naruto. I have something to ask you..."

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Alex walked to Charlie's room, in the apartment Tsunade provided them with, and saw Charlie sprawled out on the floor with bottles of alcohol around her. Alex blinked and stared at her wall. Charlie had created a mural devoted to Shino made in macaroni. She was getting to be really scary.

"Charlie, wake up."

"Mmmm, go away. I wanna sleep."

"No, no Charlie wake up. Get ready."

"No." Okay this was harder then she thought. Just then she got an idea.

"Oh Charlie wake up! Shino just called and said he lost all his clothes and needs your help finding them!" Charlie bolted up, and rushed out the door, knocking Alex over. As Alex was getting up she heard a crash coming from the stairwell. Yup, she fell down the stairs. Alex walked down the stairs, and grabbed Charlie, who had swirls in her eyes.

"Ronald McDonald is that you? Oh Mr. McDonald I want a happy meal!"

"Come on Charlie, I'll help you get ready."

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"No. I most certainly will not." Currently Naruto was attempting to get Shino to go on a date with Charlie.

"Why not, you need to get out. I bet being with a girl you would open up and possibly be less creepy. Go on a date with her!"

"No."

"Why not, it's not like you've ever not been on a date before right?" Shino coughed and looked over to the side, realization dawned on Naruto. "You haven't, have you? You've never been on a date! Shino's never been on a date! Shino's never been on a date!" Naruto began dancing around Shino in a circle.

"Oh come on, I'm sure she'll leave you alone if you go on one date with her."

"Why do I not believe you?"

"What's the worst that could happen?" Shino gave Naruto and incredulous look beneath his sunglasses. Just as he was going to reply, the sounds of an explosion resounded throughout the village, knocking everyone down, causing Shino to hit his head.

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"Hey, Alex I think that was a bad idea." In Alex's attempt to help get Charlie ready, she had plugged in a blow-dryer from Charlie's emergency supply pack into a wall socket. Unfortunately the voltage was too great and caused an explosion heard throughout Konoha.

"Yeah, now you'll have wet hair. Here put this on." Charlie held up the fluorescent orange dress Alex handed her incredulously.

"You expect me to wear this?" Alex nodded happily.

"No, no Alex you're the pretty, pretty princess, not me."

"Oh come on it's orange."

"No."

"Wear it!" Alex attempted to tackle Charlie and force her to put on the dress, which sent the latter through the doorframe to the living area. They started hitting each other, Alex now using the dress to try and smother her. Charlie, realizing that if she was smothered she could not see Shino, called upon her chain forged of love for him, and hit Alex round the head with it. She flew into the kitchen and hit the counter.

"I see how it is. But you forget who you're dealing with!" With that, she pulled her whip out of nowhere and swung it at Charlie, which soon escalated into an epic whip-chain duel. Suddenly, Charlie threw her entire chain at Alex, attempting to catch her off guard. She did, and Alex flew through the door, catching herself by the stairwell.

"You bitch, it's stunts like this that made Erik hate you!" Charlie gasped and leapt at her.

"Erik doesn't hate me you Portuguese floozy!" Unfortunately, Charlie did not know that Alex was standing in front of a stairwell, and she sent them both tumbling down it. They landed in a heap at the bottom. Alex attempted to get up, but Charlie grabbed her ankle, tripping her.

"Well, you know what Legolas found you to be a disgusting, uncivilized, stupid strumpet!"

"YOU BITCH!" Alex launched herself at her, and they began wrestling on the floor. Suddenly, they heard someone clear their throat. They both stopped to see Naruto and Shino staring down at them, nervous expressions on their faces. The two girls looked at each other, then rushed back up the stairs.

"Five minutes!" Slamming the door behind them, they scrambled to get Charlie ready.

"Okay now Charlie I'm going to give you some tips to use on your date. First off can you tell me what went wrong with you and Erik?"

"You and Robin came?"

"No! You came on too strong. Luckily I have already included this in my plan. Here." Alex handed her a headset.

"What's this?"

"You're gonna wear this during your date, and I'll tell you what to say." Charlie looked at the headset, then back at Alex. She shrugged.

"Okay. But if something goes wrong, I'll kill you." Alex grinned nervously and handed Charlie the headset, before running into the kitchen.

"Venus fly-trap, do you read?"

"Copy pink princess, over"

"My name's not pink princess, over."

"Then what is it? Over."

"I wanna be Thundercat! Over."

"Okay pink princess. Whatever you say. Come back into the living room. Ten-four."

"Fine, ten-four." Alex shut off her walkie talkie and went back to the living area where Charlie was trying to put on her shoes. Alex slapped her and made her put them on correctly. Just then the doorbell rang. Charlie stood and attempted to rush over to the door, before Alex grabbed her collar and yanked her back.

"Too eager."

"And since when did you become the guy expert, Miss-rabbit-trap-the-boy-you-like-and-throw-him-in-a-bag."

"That was a one time thing." The doorbell rang again and Alex went to answer it. Naruto came in lugging a disorientated Shino.

"Hi Alex! Charlie! You ready to go now?"

"Uh, Naruto why are you carrying Shino?"

"Oh he hit his head during the earthquake, but he's fine, aren't you Shino?"

"I like rainbows and ice cream, sunshine, and butterflies." The girls stared at Shino.

"She won't drug him or anything, right?" Alex gave him a very serious look.

"I don't think it'll matter now, but just in case, I stole her chloroform." Naruto sighed in relief. "So where's Sasuke?"

"Oh, he went home. He didn't want to see how this played out; I don't think he wants Shino to remember much." Alex nodded knowingly.

"Well, I think we gave them enough of a head start, ready to start operation save Shino!" With that, Naruto and Alex pulled out scarves and sunglasses out of nowhere, put them on, and snuck out after Charlie and Shino.

"So where do you want to go? Oh wait, Alex gave me a list of pre-approved activities she has selected for us. Let's see movie, dinner, sky-diving, ping-pong, inner tube water polo, fly fishing, catch butterflies, kill the w-- um let's go see a movie. They pranced off together, talking and laughing. Meanwhile, Naruto and Alex followed them, staying a little ways behind them.

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"Okay, now compliment him on his sunglasses and call him mysterious. Make him think you haven't figured him out, like checkers. But in actuality, you're going to king yourself any minute, and he------"

"Charlie, forget everything she just said. Talk about beetles or something. Alex, getting along with Shino is not like checkers, stop or Charlie and Shino will never get along."

"Fine Naruto, gee when did you get so smart?"

"I've always been this smart! Believe it!" Alex looked at Naruto skeptically before adjusting her headset.

"Fine. I see how it is. Apparently Naruto is the boy expert here, so I'll just let him give you Shino advice. So there." With that, Alex threw her headset at Naruto and stalked off. Honestly. Naruto blinked, then put on the headset.

"Umm, Charlie, Alex just walked off. What do I do?"

"Quick, give me advice about Shino! What if he realizes he has head trauma and goes to the hospital?" Naruto sweatdropped.

"Uhh, I don't think that will happen. Ask him about bugs. That's his specialty after all."

"Alright."

A few minutes later...

"Lady Alejandra! I have been looking for you all day!" Alex blinked and turned around in surprise.

"Lee! What are you doing here?"

"I am going to visit Sakura at the hospital. Would you care to join me?"

"Alright. I'm not wanted anywhere else. Stupid Naruto and his stupid guy tips like he knows what guys want so much better than me." Lee looked at her strangely.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Alex and Lee set off for the hospital.

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Charlie and Shino stepped out of the movie theater, Attack of the Giant Cockroaches, had been a poor choice in movies, seeing as the cockroaches died in the end and Shino was currently in shock. Charlie looked at him worriedly trying to think of something to fix him.

"Oh Shino, let's go to the lake." Shino sniffled and nodded his head.

Sometime later on the way back from the lake.

Charlie and Shino were currently sopping wet and holding a kayak. "Okay kayaking was a bad idea, who knew the lake had a waterfall."

Charlie looked over to Shino who was looking around confusedly, like he didn't know where he was. "Uh, Shino, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but where are we?"

"Uh, we're, just walking! So Shino, tell me about your bug friends!" Shino immediately got the happy look back on his face and began to babble about insects. Charlie sighed in relief. That was close.

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"----but I'm alright now, so it's okay." Lee nodded enthusiastically; hanging on to Sakura's every word. Spotting Alex, she leaned around Lee. "Alex? Where are your friends? I didn't know you knew Lee."

"Oh I'm training him right now or something, and Charlie was with Sasuke I think." Sakura's eyes brightened at Sasuke's name.

"Really? Why was she with him?"

"I don't know, I think they're best friends or something, or at least that's what she was mumbling." Sakura's eyes darkened angrily.

"Best friends? Best friends?? She doesn't know the first thing about Sasuke! She doesn't know what he can do, how much he's accomplished, or anything at all about the Uchiha clan! How can she possibly say they are best friends? Why tha---"

"Sakura, I will-----"

"Not now Lee, that girl is going to get a piece of my mind! First Ino and now her? I'm the only one Sasuke will end up with! I'll ge---"

"I know! I'l----"

"Lee! Stop interrupting me! Alex, do you know where they are now?" Lee's shoulders slumped and he turned away from Sakura, crestfallen. Alex frowned and looked back at Sakura.

"I don't know where Sasuke is now, and Charlie went on a date with Shino." Lee and Sakura both looked up, surprised.

"She did? That two-timer! How dare she flirt with Sasuke and go behind his back? Oh I'll get her for this, just you wait." With that, Sakura began mumbling more about Sasuke. The words "amazing", "prodigy", and "hot" were heard frequently. Alex backed away from Sakura, and went over to Lee. Feeling bad, she patted him on the back, and led him from the room to go get ice cream.

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Five hours later with Shino and Charlie...

"It's a rare poisonous insect native to the Village Hidden in the Mist..." Shino had not stopped talking about bugs since Charlie had asked him. Charlie's head bobbed up and down trying to pay attention to what he was saying, to bad she didn't realize before she didn't care about bugs. Realization suddenly dawned on Charlie when she remembered she had her flask with her! Pulling it out of her sleeve she took a swig. She looked at Shino still going on about insects native to certain areas and passed it to him. Without pausing, Shino took a swig and kept on talking. He blinked and turned to her.

"What the heck was that stuff? It practically burned my tongue off!"

"Extra strength fire whiskey."

"Oh. Okay." With that, he went back to talking about bugs. Charlie sighed and took another swig.

Another hour later...

"Who's that hiding in the tree top? It's that rascal the jitterbug!" Shino and Charlie were dancing around singing the song Charlie taught him.

"I am the jitterbug!" Shino laughed and fell over, taking Charlie with him. They stumbled to their feet and took off down the street, still singing. A few minutes later, Shino stopped and gasped in shock.

"What is it?"

"Look!" Looking up, Charlie grinned happily and the two of them stumbled toward the source of their new-found joy.

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"Oh why, oh why doesn't Sakura like me? What does Sasuke have that I do not? He does not even pay attention to her!" Alex patted Lee on the shoulder and discreetly took a bite of his ice cream.

"Lee, girls can be weird sometimes. This is one of those times. You see, everywhere you go there will be a Sasuke-type guy. Someone tall dark and handsome that seemingly has no interest in the female population, or anyone else for that matter. He's mysterious and strong, and girls almost always obsess over that type." Lee looked over at her, still sniffling.

"You too?" Alex sweatdropped.

"I am one of the few women in the world that's actually smart and realizes that Sasuke is a stupid selfish jerk. I prefer guys with long hair anyway."

"What can I do then? I most certainly can not compete with him! He has not only his natural genius at ninjutsu, but his sharingan and his heritage as well! It is not fair." Alex frowned, before brightening considerably.

"Lee, I think I know how to help you..."