A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter, though we are still sadened by those who do not review. Why? Why must you make us cry at night? Alas, woe is us.

RAFT tip of the day: In order to foil potential attackers, get earrings equipped with pepper spray. Be sure not to accidentally spray yourself. (Idea from first movie)

Attack of the Ninja Dogs!

"You know, we've been running a long time now, I'm getting hungry, what about you?" Lee stopped thoughtfully and nodded.

"You're right, I am also hungry. I suppose we should head back."

"Yeah, and I need coffee, now!!" At that, Alex turned around and began running back to Konoha, Lee hot on her trail.

"Oh Lady Alex, what a good idea, a race is a splendid way to train! Yes! On to the coffee shop!" Lee passed Alex with a burst of speed. Alex blanched and ran faster, barely catching Lee's dust.

"Lee!! Come back!! Aw screw it."

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"This is my fifth favorite flavor, try this one next!" Naruto pushed a bowl of ramen in front of Charlie.

"Naruto I could barely finish one bowl of ramen let alone five." Charlie was looking sick as Naruto continued to pour ramen down her throat.

"What are you talking about? You wanted to be a ninja, all great ninjas eat ramen! Why do you think I'm the greatest ninja ever? It's because I eat ramen for every meal." Charlie stared at Naruto like he had grown two heads, this was one delusional kid, if he thought ramen made the man. Everyone knows Wheaties is the food of champions.

"Come on, just one more bite." Naruto coaxed Charlie to eat the rest of the ramen while she stared at it suspiciously. Just as she was going to take a bite, Alex ran right into the back of Naruto's chair.

"Hey!! What do you think you----oh it's you." Alex got up from the ground and wound up to start running again, when Naruto grabbed her and sat her at the counter.

"Here, try this, it's my favorite flavor!" Alex stared at the bowl of ramen, then at Naruto.

"This isn't coffee." Naruto looked confused.

"No, it's ramen. R-A-M-E-N." He looked at her like you would a child and she pouted.

"I know! But I was following Lee, he was going to get me coffee! Did he go past here?" They both shook their heads.

"Shoot. Guess I'm stuck here then."

"Oh you're just STUCK here then! You didn't mind being stuck here when we were lost in Romania! But NO we're not your cool ninja friends! Who cares about us?! You know I have my own cool ninja friends too, but you wouldn't know now would you?! Well I do and they're twice as cool as your jumpsuit wearing, barbeque loving, cloud watching, boy chasing friends!" Naruto and Alex stared at Charlie as she continued her angry rant. Suddenly, Alex interrupted her.

"Wanna go find some cheesecake?" Charlie stopped midsentence.

"Okay. We never did find any last time."

"Yeah, I just remembered." They got up and began walking away, chatting happily. Naruto stared after them. Girls were weird.

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"There, at last revenge will be mine!!" The tall figure laughed evilly before stopping suddenly. "But first, I must take care of the other one….."

Nearby…..

"What if we just asked someone? I'm sure Sakura could point us in the right direction, she seems like the know it all type." Charlie shook her head stubbornly.

"No, we can find it by ourselves!" Alex sighed and they kept walking toward what seemed to be a brightly colored sign. It read 'Alex go this way, Charlie go this way. Without even thinking about it, they unconsciously followed the sign, each of them going in the opposite direction. Charlie continued to walk along her selected path until she saw a sign telling her of all the benefits of hot springs. After being thoroughly convinced by the advertisements, she decided to take a trip to the hot springs, never noticing Alex was not with her.

Meanwhile, Alex became aware that not only had Charlie abandoned her, she was now lost in a creepy forest with scary trees and no path to follow. Seeing a light up ahead, she followed it to a small clearing, surrounded by creepy looking trees. Hearing a branch crack, she spun around only to run right into someone. She squeaked and fell backward, before springing up again.

"You! What are you doing here?" Kakashi shrugged before looking around.

"You shouldn't be here, this is outside the village borders, it's not safe. Come, I'll escort you back in the village." Alex stared at him suspiciously before following him.

"How did you know where I was?"

"Lucky guess."

"Oh." He stopped suddenly, making Alex turn around. "What is it?" He narrowed his eyes, before pushing her back, behind him.

"What is it?"

"Someone's coming." While Alex was distracted trying to locate the enemy Kakashi pulled out a small spray bottle and squirted Alex, just then… a squirrel appeared.

"That was the enemy you sensed?!"

"Oh what do you know? My mistake." With that Kakashi disappeared in a poof.

"Hey I thought you were taking me back to the village? Stupid masked pervert, didn't want his help anyway." Alex continued muttering, while she attempted to find her way back. After walking around in circles for fifteen minutes, she realized that Konoha was north of her, and that moss grew on the north side of a tree. After checking the moss on a few trees, she got going in the right direction, finally coming out of the forest on what seemed to be a cliff. Frowning, she walked over to the edge…only to end up looking down on the village. She was standing on top of Konoha's version of Mt. Rushmore. Shit.

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Meanwhile, Charlie had gone into the hot springs, and was floating on an inner tube drinking sake. Suddenly, a loud splash was heard from the middle of the hot spring, and a creature rose up from the waves, its hair plastered to its face, a deranged look on its face. It raised it's arm slowly and pointed at Charlie.

"You." Charlie stared at the creature in horror. "Give it back. Give it back to me!" Charlie backed up trying to get away from the deranged creature.

"Give me back my jacket!" She stopped suddenly.

"Shino? Is that you? Have you come swimming with me? Yay, swim time!" With that, Charlie began to swim around Shino, who was still standing in the middle of the hot spring with an angry look on his face. Suddenly Charlie stopped mid-stroke, she was only in a towel and he appeared from the middle of the water...

"YOU PERVERT!" Before Shino could even react Charlie had gotten out of the water and was running to the locker room. Shino was left standing in the middle of the water.

"No wait my jacket, my jacket. You have my jacket."

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"Damn ninja Mt. Rushmore, just my damn luck they'd have one here too..." Currently, Alex was scaling down the faces of the Hokages using her trusty rock climbing kit, but was having trouble getting past the second Hokage's nose, which was rather large. Just as she was about to repel over the second Hokage's nose her keyhold broke and she went plummeting down the Hokages' faces.

"HOLY SHIIIIT----what the?" Just as she was about to crash, someone leapt and caught her, landing lightly on the ground. She stared.

"Hey there, haven't seen you around before...are you new here? Great! I'll show you around!" The strange man then turned around and began walking, still holding her.

"Who are you?"

"The name's Kiba, don't forget it. It's the name you're gonna be screaming tonight." Alex's eyes widened.

"Shit!!" She struggled and managed to break his grip before making a run for it.

"Aww, come on, baby we were just starting to have fun." As Alex ran away from Kiba, she heard barking from all around her, Alex looked back and saw Kiba. He was barking at her? Weird.

Alex continued running toward the center of the village, dodging venders, and little old ladies along the way, when suddenly...BAM. She ran into Neji.

"At last it is time for my long awaited revenge. Prepare yourself, I will not hold back." She panicked, and turned around, expecting to see Kiba behind her. He wasn't there, but the barking was getting closer. Shit.

"Neji, why don't you go braid your hair or something, this isn't a good time." Neji's eyes narrowed.

"Oh I think now is a fine time, now----" But he stopped and his eyes widened. Behind Alex, what looked like half the dogs in the city were coming to stand behind her, all wagging their tails. Suddenly, Kiba and Akamaru appeared within their number.

"There you are! You aren't getting away from me this time!" Alex screamed and ran right into Neji, who was backing away slowly, as all the dogs began growling at him at that moment. Alex, however, did not know this.

"Yeah, you should be scared, now go away, I have other things to do, like run away from this guy!" Neji turned back to her.

"Surely you've noticed-----" But he was cut off as Alex leapt on him in order to avoid Kiba. He landed flat on his back, with Alex on top of him, her hands on his chest. Wait a minute...

"You're a guy! No girl is this flat chested! Why did you lie to me?"

"I did no such thing. I told you I was male." Just was Alex was about to comment, Kiba came up to her and was about to say something dirty, when Alex panicked and threw Neji at Kiba before making a mad dash for it. They landed in a heap, Kiba jumping up again and running after her. Neji stayed on the ground. She had beaten him again. How did this keep happening? Why couldn't he beat her? He stood up and began walking away, intent on finding the error of his vengeful ways.

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"---and then I ran away." The man nodded sympathetically.

"That's a sad story. A nice pretty little lady like you needs to be treated better." Charlie nodded her head and agreed with the tavern owner. He looked very familiar, oh well ninjas all look the same to her.

"You know I've had my fair share of trouble as well. You see I am a struggling writer, trying to do research in this unforgiving town, but no one appricates my true genius." Charlie looked up at the man with tears in her eyes overwhelmed by the sadness of his story.

"Here you go miss, another refill. I know what you need, you need an older more experienced man to take care of you and appreciate you. Why don't you and your friend come by later and I'll read you some of my book."

"Sure, Sasuke needs to get out more often anyway."

"Um no I meant your other friend."

"Naruto?"

"No."

"Sai?"

"Other one."

"Shikamaru?"

"The red head."

"Red head?" As Charlie sat pondering who she knew who was red headed, Alex came running in.

"Charlie horrible things have been happening!"

"That one."

"Oh. Wait Alex what happened?"

"First I got lost in the woods, then the scarecrow came, I got stuck on Mt. Rushmore, I got hit on by a really creepy ninja, dogs are following me, and I learned Neji's been lying to me about his gender!" Charlie gasped in horror.

"That's terrible, we must take action against your misfortunes!" The two girls got ready to leave, then glanced at Jiraiya.

"Charlie, doesn't that guy look kinda familiar?" Charlie nodded.

"I thought so too, but the man we fought did not have a mustache." Alex nodded.

"You're right. For no man with a mustache can be evil!" With that, Jiraiya escorted them out of his 'tavern', them agreeing to go look at his books. While they were walking down the street, the barking from before got louder, and they were soon surrounded by dogs.

"Not again! Why does this keep happening?" All the dogs sat around Alex, wagging their tails. Jiraiya frowned and was about to speak, when shouting was heard.

"She's over there! That way Akamaru!"

"NOOO! Charlie save me!" She leapt behind Charlie, trying to hide behind her. Charlie turned around and crossed her arms.

"That won't work, I'm shorter than you."

"Jebidiah, you must save the day!" Jiraiya startled at his fake name, then nodded.

"Alright, let's see, we-----" At that moment, Kakashi poofed in front of them, effectively startling Alex and Charlie.

"You again! What do you want now!"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Isn't what obvious?"

"My revenge of course." Alex stared at him for a moment before speaking.

"I see. Well in that case..." With that, she took off her shirt, rolled it up into a ball, and threw it as far as she could. The dogs and Kiba chased after it, ignoring her. She sighed in relief. "That's loads better."

"Umm, Alex?"

"What?"

"You're not wearing a shirt now, you can't go around in your bra!"

"I don't care! I've had enough for one day! If I want to be shirtless, then goddamnit I'm gonna be shirtless!" Jiraiya agreed enthusiastically.

"Yes, don't listen to her, you do whatever you want to." Kakashi looked disappiontedly at Alex.

"How did you know I sprayed the dog pheremone on your shirt?"

"Lucky guess. I was going for my pants next." Jiraiya looked at Alex with a serious expression on his face.

"You know you should remove your pants just in case any of the pheremone is still on you." Charlie looked at "Jebidiah" suspiciously, she was about to comment, when Alex started to take off her pants, just then Jiraiya got a nose bleed. Alex stopped and both her and Charlie stared at the old man in horror, for "Jebidiah's" mustache had fallen off, revealing to the girls his true nature. Alex panicked.

"Oh shit I'm not wearing a shirt. Quick Charlie give me yours! Wait that would do us no good. You!" Alex pointed dramictially at Kakashi. "Give me your shirt!" Alex attempted to tackle Kakashi and steal his vest, only to miss and grab a piece of wood instead. Charlie, thinking quickly, pulled a table cloth off a table and threw it on Alex. Now covered from head to toe, Alex stood safe from Jiraiya's wandering eyes.

"Ah ha! That dilemma is solved! Now for----NO what are you doing?!" A large toad had come up behind Alex and had began eating the tablecloth. Alex was heard crying from beneath it. Charlie, panicking and not knowing what to do, began looking around for something to help them. Squinting, she spotted a familiar person with black hair walking toward them...

"LEE! QUICK, ALEX IS IN TROUBLE!!!!" She pointed to the table-cloth covered Alex and Lee gasped in horror and sped toward them, grabbing Alex and running away into the sunset. Charlie swore.

"NO LEE, OVER HERE!" Lee sped back past Charlie, toward the girls' apartment. Charlie sighed in relief. She looked to her right. Jiraiya was still there. Shit.

"Um howdy ho so long, far well, aufwiedersen, good night." With that, Charlie began tapdancing away from Jiraiya down the streets of Konoha. He stared at the spot they had been standing in a few minutes previously sadly, before sighing and walking away. Why do all the pretty ones run away?