Title: Silence is blond

Summary: In which Naruto shuts up to prove his point. NaruSasu. AU

This is inspired by Rasengan22's Fish and Chips, a brilliant piece of work. Did you notice the terrible pun in the title… yes? No?

Time taken: four hours

Word count: 4, 376

Sasuke is a quiet guy, you know? It's never really bothered me before because I talk enough for the both of us. Except… now I'm not talking. I have to prove a point, you see.

As I said before, Sasuke is quiet. He's socially retarded or something, because he won't make conversation and says the bare minimum, always. I know that his favourite type of speaking is insulting. I'm the subject of his insults, usually. But I don't mind, because I'll insult him back and it's fun. It's probably why we're best friends. We don't do much more than argue.

The point I'm proving to Sasuke is that being a loudmouth is better than being quiet all the time. "Quiet is boring," I said, and then I proposed that we exchange roles. Sasuke wouldn't, of course, but I decided to do it anyway, to see if he would get annoyed by my silence.

They say that silence is golden. Well, this silence is blond. Although I don't suppose they mean it literally, do they? It's all figurative, isn't it?

I said that to Sasuke before I stopped talking and he called me a moron. I found it pretty clever, though. Not everybody is as clever as him. He's always reading so he has the unfair advantage with stuff like that. He's always quoting famous people – I'm stuck with the things I pick up from talking to realpeople. Books are okay for reading but telling stories is much more interesting.

Right now, Sasuke is sitting on his bed, reading. I'm bothered that my silence hasn't bored him already. I'm bored. And it's only been an hour since I started this silence thing.

I stretch my legs out in front of me, pointing my toe to poke Sasuke's leg. I'm sitting on his bed, too, on the other end to him, propped up against the headboard. He shoots me a frown and returns to his reading. He's quite hard to rile up, so I try again.

"What is it, moron?" His voice sounds really loud in the thick silence that has occupied the room for the past hour. At least my proposal has done something, even if it is just an impression. I pout because I can't say something back and he returns to his reading.

I'm so bored, so I retract my foot and stand up on his bed. He shoots me another frown, opening his mouth to tell me to get down. I jump off before he has a chance to, and he closes it quickly. I want to make a jab at him – tell him he looks like a goldfish – but I can't.

Sasuke is watching me expectantly and I like to think he wants me to insult him. I smirk proudly at him because I haven't given in to temptation and he arches an eyebrow incomprehensively, staring blankly at me. Okay, so he doesn't want me to talk. He thinks I'm stupid and I guess I do look pretty dumb, acting like a mute and making faces at him to express myself. I don't know how he pulls off conversations with people with just his face. I feel like I'm in a different country. I mean, why make faces all the time when you can just say what you want?

I frown at Sasuke but it's lost on him. He has no idea what I'm doing. Knowing him, he's probably forgotten about my promise to stay quiet because it's not something he'd think I'd be able to pull off. He underestimates me. Bastard. I wish I could call him one right now.

I walk out of his room and into the kitchen for a drink. My mouth feels funny from not talking and I wonder if it'll damage my health to stay quiet. I talk so much, maybe I have a talking problem and I'll get withdrawal symptoms and come out in hives. Or something. It's not likely, but I'm sure it's possible. I'll ask Sasuke.

When I start talking again.

I down myglass of water and fill it up again. I almost call out to Sasuke to ask if he wants something, but I remember my pact in time. I'll make him some tea, since that's all I ever see him drink. Apart from liqueur when we go out with friends. I'm more of a beer person, but I don't think beer would suit Sasuke. Sasuke looks like a liqueur person. I wonder if he thinks I look like a beer person?

The kettle boils and, again, the noise sounds louder without my usual chattering. If I'm at Sasuke's house and I'm in a different room to him, I'll just talk louder. If I'm by myself, I talk to myself. I feel stupid but I'd be more embarrassed if I sang, like some people do. My singing voice isn't very sweet. I pour the scalding water onto the teabag and it makes a loud hissing noise. I wince slightly, and wonder why it makes that noise. I'll ask Sasuke. He'll know.

Maybe Sasuke stays quiet all the time because you notice these little things you don't normally. Like, the sounds of the kettle and the faces you can make to convey something without saying a word. I feel calm, too, like those meditation tapes that get you to feel 'at one with yourself' as you listen to sounds of the ocean or something. I guess they put those sounds in because they can't sell silence, but I reckon this promise of silence I made has the same effect, in the end.

I stir the tea, listening to the clink of the metal teaspoon against the ceramic mug. I've never appreciated little sounds like this. They're relaxing.

I take the teabag out of the water with the spoon and bin it, giving the tea a final stir before taking it to Sasuke. I'm barefoot, so when I pad across the linoleum floor of his kitchen it makes little sucking noises. That sounds funny, and I can't keep a smile from creeping onto my face. I have to bite the insides of my cheeks to stop myself from laughing because I think of funny things when I don't talk and I'm not sure if laughing counts as talking.

I hand Sasuke his tea and he looks surprised that I made it for him without asking. I don't know if he wants it – it's okay if he doesn't – but it's the gesture that counts. He gives me this tiny smile that he allows himself to give every millennium or so and takes the mug. He blows the steam away and takes a sip. I don't know how he does that, drink tea almost straight from the kettle. If I drink something hot, I have to leave it for about five minutes so that I don't burn myself.

I realise I'm staring at him drinking and blush with embarrassment. Sasuke's realised it, too, and is looking at me with raised eyebrows.

"You're being more of an idiot than usual, Naruto," he tells me flatly, and I have to clench my fist to keep from retorting. He's waiting for a reply and looks surprised once again when I don't. He's forgotten, I can tell. He won't ask me what's wrong, though. He'll just assume I'm doing something stupid to get on his nerves. He'll get this suspicious look in a minute and he'll keep watching me when he thinks I won't notice. He'll think I'm playing a prank on him or something funny like that.

I sit back down at the head of the bed, placing Sasuke's pillow on my lap and fiddling with the poppers on the pillowcase. I unpop them, and then stick them back together. Unpop them, and then stick them back together. They make a plastic clicking sound which gets on Sasuke's nerves after the first fifteen or so pops, and he sends me a pointed scowl. I pause my popping for a while, wait for him to get absorbed in his book, and then resume.

I think I'm getting the hang of this silent thing, you know?

Sasuke puts his book down without marking his page and pulls the pillow away from me. I almost protest, getting as far as opening my mouth and forming the words. I'm good at keeping promises, though, so I button up pretty quickly. Sasuke looks confused. I've only achieved that expression two or three times in my life, so I savour it. I smile sweetly at him, and steal his book.

"What's with you today, moron? Have you forgotten to take your stupid pills?" He reaches over to take his book back but I stick my foot out, catching his stomach, to keep him away. I wave the book tantalizingly in front of his face and snatch it away when he makes a grab at it. He's irked now, but I like to wind him up. It's boring to stay on his good side.

"Naruto," he says, warningly. Nobody does 'warningly' like Sasuke. Anybody clever would know to obey him straight away when he uses that tone. It's a good thing I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I jiggle the book teasingly, and his scowl deepens. In a few seconds his cheeks will go red. They do that when I annoy him. He's so pale so it shows up almost immediately when he's in a bad mood or embarrassed.

As predicted, the red starts to spot his cheeks. I point at them and mime laughing, and then feel like an idiot. Sasuke is looking at me strangely, book forgotten.

He remembers pretty quickly about my pact and rolls his eyes. He's a genius, Uchiha Sasuke. He never really forgets stuff, apart from my birthday. But if you ask me, he only pretends to forget. He always has a present lying around, conveniently.

"You really are an idiot, Naruto." He leans past me and plucks the book out of my hand. I tighten my grip too late and only manage to catch part of the cover as it's taken from me. Sasuke grins triumphantly. See? He never forgets anything.

I cross my arms and huff silently, but of course I'm not really mad. I can still poke Sasuke with my toe and think things.

I poke Sasuke with my toe and look out of his window. I can see the quiet street outside but there's nothing to look at except more houses and a few trees. Boring. I watch the road a while longer until I feel my eyelids growing heavy and decide that a nap wouldn't be a bad idea. I glance at Sasuke. He's still absorbed in his Book That Is More Interesting Than Me and won't be finished for a while. I close my eyes.

…

Sasuke shakes me awake some time later and I wipe my mouth sleepily. If I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer normally, I'm the bluntest in the world when I've just woken up. I've drooled a bit. I almost ask Sasuke what time it is but I remember my deal and keep schtum. I've come this far, haven't I?

"It's four-thirty," Sasuke tells me, and I wonder if he read my mind. "I'm going to order a pizza. Do you want something?" I guess not.

I nod enthusiastically. I'm hungry and Sasuke never finishes his pizza so there's always a lot for me. Sasuke is considerate enough to hand me the take-out menu so I can pick my toppings. I smile gratefully and choose ham and pineapple, because it's dreary and grey outside and I want to feel summery. Sasuke nods and leaves the room to order the food.

I fidget for a bit, unsure of what to do with myself, and then spy Sasuke's book. I wonder what has him so captivated this time and pull it towards me to read the blurb. It's a story of 'failure and disappointment' by some author called Jiraiya Sannin and is supposedly based on his life. I'm interested to see that the main character is called Naruto. My name's uncommon and this surprise sends a strange warmth through my body.

Sasuke comes back after a little while and sees me with the book. I point out my name and he nods. "It's the reason I bought it," Sasuke tells me, and I feel even warmer. He looks kind of awkward and it's cute because Sasuke never does 'awkward'. He's the arrogant, superior mute. I'm just loud. I beam at him to convey this thought and he understands part of it, because his mouth twitches. He sits back down on the bed and I pass him the book.

He continues reading for a bit and, with my interest in this 'Naruto' character, I begin to read over his shoulder. He's half-way through the book already and he turns the pages before I've read the first paragraph but I can tell that this Naruto is kind of like me. He's loud, too, and a dreamer. I want to be a lot of things and I haven't achieved anything yet. It makes me sad because I don't want to be a failure like this guy.

I want to ask Sasuke if he thinks I'm like the character.

I rest my chin on his shoulder as I attempt to read at a higher speed and Sasuke eyes me warningly. He doesn't like people touching him. I ignore the look and continue reading. Sasuke's shoulder tenses and I think he's going to shift me off, but he doesn't. I smile because I've gotten my own way.

The pizza arrives soon after this and I'm forced to leave my comfortable perch to eat in the dining room. Sasuke's posh like that. I don't care where I eat: in the bathroom, in the bedroom, in front of the television. Sasuke does things properly. He eats at the table in the dining room or in the kitchen if he's in a hurry.

"Do you want ketchup with your pizza?" Sasuke asks. I love ketchup with my pizzas and it's good of him to ask since I don't know where he keeps his condiments. His fridge is almost bare. I nod again.

I watch him leave the room and get stuck in to my first slice. It's piping hot and I burn my tongue and have to stifle an 'ouch'. My eyes are streaming. Sasuke returns to see me wiping my eyes and fanning my tongue. He raises his eyebrows.

"How long are you doing this silence for?" He asks, and I hold a finger to indicate one day. He nods. I like to think that he asked because he doesn't like my silence. He sets the bottle of ketchup in front of me and I nod my thanks.

Eating in silence is one of the most uncomfortable things I have ever done in my life. The sound of chewing isn't very pleasant, and all I can hear is the gross sound of the pizza turning into mushy pulp in my mouth. I can't even finish my pizza, let alone Sasuke's. It's that distracting. I think I'm starting to understand Sasuke a bit more.

I wonder if Sasuke understands a bit more about me, too. I hope so, since that's the whole point of this exercise. Kind of.

I help Sasuke to clear up the boxes and plates and while he disposes of the boxes I do the dishes. I hate chores and stick mainly to disposable plates and cutlery at home, but if Sasuke's generous enough to pay for the take-out, I'll gladly do the dishes. He looks at me in disbelief when he comes back into the kitchen and I smile. I feel kind of shy around him when I do nice things, you know? It's those little gestures that always get to me.

He sits up on the sideboard beside the sink to keep me company and I can't help but think that a little conversation would not go amiss here. Sure, the silence is companionable but it feels weird for my babbling to be missing. I think Sasuke notices it, too, because he talks with no prompting.

"You didn't have to do that." He sounds awkward and I smile reassuringly. Not the best move because I'm sure it appears condescending to him. Sure enough, he turns away from me. With a roll of my eyes, I flick sudsy dishwater at him to get his attention back. He narrows his eyes at me and hops down off the counter.

He stalks off to his room and I'm left up to my arms in dishwater and with my guilt. Great. How did I manage that without my voice?

It's okay, though, because he comes back. With the Naruto book. He's back beside me and I feel much better, especially when he nudges my hip with his foot. It's these gestures, too. His tiny displays of affection that I don't notice when I'm running off at the mouth. Not that there are many affectionate moments when I talk because, as I said, we're always arguing.

I bump his foot back with my hip and we both smile to ourselves, like a silly old couple. I rinse the soap off the dishes and grab a cloth to dry them. Sasuke gives me a brief, approving look. I'm experiencing communication Sasuke-style and it's not as hard as I'd first thought to interpret.

Once I'm done washing up I tap Sasuke's arm and we return to his bedroom. I'm getting an urge to talk again but I've made it so far I don't want to give up. My mouth is dry from disuse already and I can't fathom how a real mute feels. I know now why a person who stops talking for a while croaks when they first speak – it's because their saliva dries up. It's like those little guys that keep my body working want me talk. Talking must be as much a part of me as my heart or my lungs.

We resume our positions on the bed and I pull out my iPod to distract myself from that urge. The volume is at the loudest and I jump when I snap the headphones over my ears and press play and am confronted with a blast of music. I scrabble to turn it down, looking agonized. Sasuke laughs quietly at me and I flip him the bird.

Hey, watch me communicate.

Still, music can't entertain you forever and it keeps me going for all of twenty-eight minutes. I know because my iPod has the clock up on the display and I can't stop watching it. If I go to sleep at ten I only have four hours of silence left. I'm an optimist but it does sound impossible.

I press pause and pull my headphones off. Boring. Sasuke's still reading that book. It must be good. I feel some pride in the fact that a book that sort of about me has gripped him. He's nearly finished now. There're about ten or so pages left. Wow, I could never read a whole book in one sitting. Unless it was a picture-book or for very young children. The kind that consist of short sentences and next-to-no plot.

I watch Sasuke as he finishes the book, entertaining myself by imagining whether or not the ending is good or bad. His expression flickers so often and I think he's checking up on facts from previously in the story. He doesn't look disappointed so it could be good. He doesn't look impressed either. But that's what Sasuke is – indifferent.

He closes the book and sets it beside him and turns to me. I hold up my hand. Good? I try to communicate.

"It was a good book." I love the way he can read my mind. I'm glad he liked it and I try to put that into a smile. He blinks at me and I guess I failed. I let the smile fade and slump boredly. Sasuke is sympathetic and offers me something to engage myself in – a movie.

That's cool. Sasuke has some killer movies. I nod and we go to the living room to choose something. He lets me choose because he's seen them all and I think he's feeling mellow today. I don't like to think that I stress him out when I speak. My brow furrows as I look through the DVD collection but Sasuke would not be my friend if I irked him. He doesn't like Sakura much, and I'm kind of like her. I suppose there's something in me that he likes that he doesn't see in her.

I pick out Lost in Translation, because I'm a sucker for movies like that. It's funny and clever and the relationship between Charlotte and Bob is touching. It reminds me of Sasuke and I on a low level. Maybe it's the way they get on so well and yet are so different.

Sasuke complains but settles down on the couch to watch. I sprawl out across the couch, mindful to keep my feet off because Sasuke's really anal about stuff. I rest my head on his thigh and he flicks the top of my head, telling me to shift. I don't, and he rests his elbow on the arm of the sofa and places his chin on his palm wearily. He doesn't tell me again, though.

…

A quarter of the way into the film, I'm dozing off. I'm using Sasuke's thigh as a pillow and he started combing his fingers through my hair absently. I'm not sure he's even noticed what he's doing because he's focused on the film. He might have grouched at my choice but this is one of his favourites too. My eyes keep closing as I watch Charlotte at the flower-arranging thing. I smile sympathetically at her as she erm-s awkwardly.

I can totally relate. I've got no footing in this silent world and feel completely lost. There's a small difference between Charlotte and Bob and I. I can start speaking whenever I want. They're stuck in Japan until their ticket home says otherwise.

I shift and Sasuke's fingers stop. He looks down at me and I smile back. He's stiffened, embarrassed by his affection. He's my best friend Sasuke and I wouldn't have him any other way but I wish he wouldn't be so cold all of the time. I'm the clingiest person I know. I'm more touchy-feely than most of the girls I know, too.

I sit up and give him his space. He looks puzzled for a little while before returning to the movie. He doesn't get as into it as he did before and I'm annoyed that I can't either. I give him five minutes regaining-composure time before lying back down again. It doesn't take long for his fingers to start combing again either.

I like to think he's a closet clinger.

…

I don't really want the movie to end, and there's a different sadness paired with the sadness that comes with the final scenes of the movie. Sasuke's thigh is comfortable, I'm warm and I don't feel the need to talk here. I'm annoyed when the credits start rolling and Sasuke turns of the TV. The silence feels a bit stifling then and the urge to gab comes back at full force.

I guess this means I have to get going soon. It's almost nine o'clock and I'm desperate for tomorrow to come so that I can talk. I sit up so that Sasuke can move and I stretch. I puzzle over how to tell him I'm leaving. I get to my feet and he understands.

"This is really childish, you know that?" He asks me. It is childish, but I feel wiser for it. Sasuke won't understand because he's already wise. I nod.

I want to tell him that silence is boring but that it is nice, too. I'll have a lot to tell him when I come over tomorrow.

We walk to the door and I wave goodbye to him, stepping out into the cold. I've grabbed my coat, but all he's wearing is a t-shirt and pants. He shivers and I make to close the door so that he won't stay cold. He keeps it open stubbornly to see me off and my heart melts. He's a lovely friend.

I shake my head hopelessly at him and make my way down his path towards my car. I stop suddenly and run back to give him a hug. So what if I'm a grown man and look like a child? Sasuke has told me that I'm acting childish. It's a given. He shoves me away, as expected, but I grin and lunge at him and plant a kiss on his cheek. My lovely friend is flushed and is staring at me as if I might molest him.

Well, that was fun.

I wave at him again and bound down the path in case he comes after me and jump into my car. Once the engine is rumbling I look at the house one more time to give him a final wave but he's gone. He's in a huff and I feel kind of sad that he's not there but, what can you do?

What can you do, indeed?

Sasuke's still a quiet guy but at least I've learnt something. Silence definitely isn't blond, that's for sure. This time I mean it literally. I know that as sure as the grass is green that this silence thing won't happen again. Maybe it's good to stop and think but I have to communicate with words.

I'm happy that I learnt some things about Sasuke. I'm sad because it must be boring for him to be quiet all them time. I've got lots to ask him tomorrow so he'll have to talk. That's good, isn't it?

Maybe now I'll stop being such a loudmouth and he'll be able to get a word in.

If he wants.

Which he won't.

I guess I'll always be the talker.

I suppose we're really just two halves of a whole.

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