Chapter 5: Complex Relationships
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"Are you kiddin' me?"
"Oh shut it Minnie!" Dennis snapped. It was another new day. The sun was out, the birds were singing, and Dennis and Minnie bickered loudly on the side of the street.
Walter just loitered around, waiting for it to end. Walking back and from school every day was almost officially a ritual now. No one hassled them about the fact that a Softy was hanging out with the Menaces, and if anyone raised an eyebrow, Dennis just raised a fist.
Dennis was raising a fist now. His uni-brow deeply drawn, his lip was curled into a snarl while Minnie just screeched at him, insulting him with her sharp cat tongue. "Listen thickhead-!"
"Who you callin' thick head?!"
"You heard me! You're like a bleedin' caveman! No brains! Just a big fat overlapping forehead to store your little pea brain-"
"Say it again GIRLIE!" he sneered, taking a threatening step forward.
Walter noted how often they fought and how casual it all seemed after all a while. In a sick way, it was like their little waltz.
Suddenly Minnie punched his eye in. Momentarily stunned, Dennis reeled back and returned the favor, and before Walter had even registered, a brawl had exploded before him.
Punches flew, hair was pulled, dirt went flying. To be honest, Walter didn't even know why they were fighting exactly. Dennis said something stupid last night and Minnie wouldn't let it go.
"Erm. Excuse me." His bony body shook as they fought deeper, harder. He raised his voice. "You two." Again, they paid no heed, so Walter, with a strength that came out of nowhere, stomped his foot down and barked. "HEY!"
"What?!" They screamed simultaneously. The dust had cleared and Walter could see Dennis had Minnie pinned to the ground, their faces covered in dirt, heaving angrily.
"Perhaps you two should stop fighting."
"WHY?"
"Because the Constable is coming this way." And sure enough, in the distance, the local bobby was strolling down the street, whistling a nonchalant tune. Dennis growled down at Minnie, gripping her angrily, not wanting to let her go just yet. But she stuck her tongue out. "Gerrof!"
With a reluctant grunt, he pulled himself up. "Good look out Walt." He muttered, brushing himself off. Suddenly, Minnie kicked his shin in. "Ow!" he screeched, grabbing his sore spot. "Low blow you MINX!"
"Too right." She snapped and snootily helped herself up. "Cmon Walt, we're going to school today. Forget this total and complete wimp."
His eyes blazed at this, but Walter noticed him suck in his rage and exhale it back out in a stern glare. "Whatever. GO then." Walter was immensely impressed by his passive aggressiveness, and a little unnerved at how similar it was to his fathers.
Sure enough, Dennis stomped away and Minnie snatched her beret off the ground, angrily wiping it off. "He's such a oaf."
"Why were you two fighting this time?"
They fell into a walk "Because he's a rude insensitive idiot and I'm too good a friend for him." Walter nodded, knowing what she said was true, but she was missing the part that she was a fiery, short-tempered minx. "I mean, I'm such a good person, you know?"
He nodded again, knowing it was safest.
"All I do is help him out when he's in trouble, get in trouble with him, make trouble with him." She shook her head. "And all he does is brag about what a trouble maker he is."
"Well." He delivered a soft grin. "He is Dennis."
"Too right. A big headed, conceited bully." She sniffed, folding her arms. "You know what he said to me last night?"
"Eh?"
"He said that I was changing. That I was becoming like all the other girls. Can you imagine that, ME?"
Walter adjusted his spectacles. "Why would he say that?"
Her shoulders fell. "Because, last night, we kind of came to the conclusion that the best way to humiliate Danny would be to send him a kissogram. And then Dennis said we could save money by getting some poor stupid girlie to do it."
Walters brows raised. "You mean, get someone to kiss him. In front of the school?"
"In front of the ENTIRE school!" She grinned devilishly. "It was such a good plan. But then stupid Dennis joked that it should be me, and then I accidentally told him that I already did-"
"Wait. What?"
Minnie sighed. "Don't tell anyone yea? We did a quick kiss after the school nativity play last year."
Poor Walter looked terribly confused. Here he was thinking that he finally had everyone all figured out. But the rule book, for being a menace vs. a softy was suddenly flipped over.
Minnie shook her head, her fiery red hair tumbling around her face. As boyish as she acted, she was actually quite feminine, with soft features. 'Honestly, I kissed Danny because, I don't know what any of that mushy stuff was about! It was a one off! We just thought it would be a good idea and I didn't think it was really. But try explaining that to bleedin' Dennis."
The scowl returned. "He was being so mean. He just went off in this stupid huff, and wouldn't stop saying awful things. He was acting like a stupid BABY." She folded her arms and looked down mournfully. "Like he always does. An everyone thinks she's so tough."
Walter patted her kindly on the shoulder and they walked the rest of the way to school, patiently listening to her unweave her sad tale of her complex relationship with Dennis.
And when they reached the school gates, the person of all contempt was already there. He kicked the ball over, Minnie kicked it back, and before he knew it, they were playing a friendly game of footy.
For Walter, it was an astounding sight to see two people so immersed with each other that they would forget people, events, arguments, within mere seconds.
And it was at that moment that Walter finally understood them, even though neither Minnie or Dennis hadn't quite yet.
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Authors Note: Ok, the nativity play I'm on about is the 20 page special by Mike Pearse, when Bash Street put on a Nativity Play and its just this big ridiculous disaster. It was published in… 2003? If you know what I'm talking about then I could just kiss you!