A/N: This was suppose to be the last chapter followed by an epilogue, but after reaching almost nine pages, I decided that it might be best to follow this with another chapter then the epilogue. I'm sorry for the wait, but once again life managed to get in the way. I wish to thank every one for their wonderful reviews, they keep me motivated and on course to finish this story. So please continue to leave your comments, good, bad or neutral.
Chapter 23: Because Of You
The first thing that Kara Thrace became aware of was the Venice Beach marching band playing at full throttle in her head. On the heels of that, there was a dull ache coming from her cheek and jaw, sharp stabbing pains in her chest and stomach, and the general overall feeling of having been hit by a Mack truck. She tried to open her eyes, but they felt like they had been glued shut and the effort just wasn't worth the pain.
Memories came flooding back to her; escaping the cylons, finding a planet, making love with Lee, him holding her as she drifted off, then the blood curdling screams, followed by pain and after that, blessed darkness. As awareness continued to return, Kara felt the tears begin to slip free. She wasn't dead, so that meant whoever saved her did so by killing Lee, because she knew that nothing short of death would have made him let her go.
"Hey spitfire, what's with the tears?" Her brother's voice washed over her, soothing the aches and pains, but doing little to assuage the grief or fear that gripped her.
"Lee?" She chocked out in a voice that had been damaged when strong hands had tried to strangle the life from her.
"Let's not worry about all that right now," Devon replied gently wiping the tears from her battered face.
"No," she whispered shaking her head forcefully, causing stars to appear behind her closed eyes.
"Kara," Devon said on a sigh. He was use to dealing with the stubborn side of her, it was the emotional side that always sent him for a loop. "You've just woken up after being out for 3 days, we can talk about Lee later.
Kara forced her heavy lids open so that she could glare at her brother; he was sitting so close to her that she could see the flecks of gold in his eyes. She glanced at the chair closet to the bed to see Helo stretched out, chin resting on his chest, snoring softly. In a chair by the door to her room was her younger brother, scowling fiercely at imaginary foes. When he looked up and met her gaze, he smiled shyly the dimples in his cheeks peeking out. She swept her glance around the room and her eyes widened when she saw the small couch occupied by none other than the Fleet Admiral; and if that wasn't enough of a shock, seeing her wrapped up in the arms of Commodore Thalia would be etched on her brain forever.
"Still wigs me out seeing them like that," Devon said following her gaze.
"Tell me what happened," Kara demanded of her brother.
"Kara, please give yourself some more time before doing this," Devon all but pleaded with her.
"Is he dead?" She chocked out. She had been through too much to mince words, or have anyone hold her hand and tell her it would all be alright.
"No, he's not dead," her brother replied on a sigh. "He's being held on the Galactica."
"What do you mean held?" She asked struggling to tamp down the relief that surged through her at hearing that he was not dead.
"Kara, he was trying to kill you when we got there," Devon replied running his hands through his hair in frustration. "Andreas and I had to pull him from you, and even then he continued to try and get to you. He was incoherent and raving madly, screaming that you had betrayed him."
"What did you do to him?" Kara asked him in growing horror.
"Well we didn't kill him," Andreas replied. Kara looked over at him and saw that he was once again scowling fiercely.
"You have no idea what they did to him," she said vehemently.
"And you have no idea what he was going to do to you," Andreas all but growled back.
"I need to see him," Kara said beginning the process of getting out of the bed. She fought the wave of dizziness that engulfed her when she sat up, and she had to take several deep breaths to keep from heaving up whatever may have been lurking in her stomach.
"We are not letting you get out of this bed," Devon told her, firmly pressing her back into the pillows. Helo picked that moment to wake up as did both the Admiral and the Commodore.
"If you know what's good for you Devon you'll get your hands off of me and get the hell out of my way," Kara snarled at him. The two of them were shooting angry glares at each other, and the battle for dominance was on it's way to exploding.
"That's enough," Cassandra said approaching her two hot headed children. She noted that her younger son had shifted into an attack position, ready to back his brother up in keeping their sister in the bed.
"Kara here thinks that we're just going to let her get up and waltz on over to the Galactica so she can have a little chat with her would be murderer," Devon said with enough venom in his voice to make the others in the room cringe.
"This is not a fight you want to wage right now," Kara said softly her eyes never leaving her brother's face. "I can guarantee you won't win."
"I told you both that was enough," Cassandra said with enough force to draw both their attentions to her. She sat on the edge of Kara's bed, trying hard not to see the damage that had been done to her only daughter.
"I don't expect you to understand Admiral," Kara said letting her eyes shift to a point just beyond her mother's shoulder. "I need to talk to him."
"I understand better than you think Captain," her mother said in a voice that Kara had not heard since she was a small child. She felt Cassandra's fingers lift her chin so that she was staring into eyes that were shadowed by pain.
"Give me some time to talk to his Admiral, and I'll see what I can work out," Cassandra said.
Kara's face registered her shock and confusion, but wisely kept her mouth shut. She slowly nodded her head and relaxed back against the pillows. She watched as her mother left the room, followed by both her brothers and father.
"I sure would pay anything to be a fly on the wall for the argument that Devon picks with the Admiral," Helo said into the quiet that had descended upon the room.
"It's not going to be nearly as interesting as the argument that is going to take place in this room if you don't start talking about what happened," Kara said leveling her fiery green gaze on him.
Helo shifted in his seat feeling very much like a small mouse cornered by a rather large, hungry alley cat. He wanted to protect her from the details of what they had charged into, but he knew that she didn't need or want his protection. So he tried to distract her while he got his thoughts together.
"What's the last thing you remember?" He asks.
"Being thrown to the ground while Lee was screaming incoherently," she replied tears stinging the back of her eyes. She forced them back, she knew that crying was not going to help the situation and at the moment she knew that she couldn't show any signs of weakness or distress. If they thought she couldn't handle it, they'd never let her anywhere near Lee again.
"We had been looking for you for weeks," Helo said moving to sit on the edge of her bed. "Devon said that you were alive and although he wasn't sure about Apollo, there was no way that Admiral Adama was leaving without you, especially when Hermes said that you were pregnant and there was a chance that it was his son's child."
At the mention of pregnancy, Kara's hands flew to her stomach and her expression took on one of dawning horror. In all the confusion she had yet to tell Lee that she might be pregnant, and after the brutality of the attack, she was sure there would be no need. She vividly remembered the blow to her abdomen that lifted her clear off the ground.
"Hey," Helo said breaking into her jumbled thoughts. She felt his hands on her arms, and she lifted her eyes to his unable to hide the tears. "No crying Buck, the baby is fine."
Those four words turned her into a basket case. First relief surged through her at hearing that the baby was fine, and that she hadn't miscarried because her child's father had beat her to a bloody pulp. Then her emotions spiraled as she realized that she really was pregnant; it wasn't something that she had hoped for, but it wasn't something she had ever tried to prevent when she became intimate with Lee. Contraception had come a long way since pills and iuds, and it had been easier on her body for Sam to be the one to take injections that kept his sperm from maturing, it never occurred to her that Lee was not likewise protected. All this culminated into the thought that the two of them already had so much to deal with, that maybe adding a baby wasn't the right thing to do.
"You know the Admiral won't force you to do anything that you don't wish to do," Helo said taking her cold hand into his.
"I know, but this is something for me to think about later," she replied looking into his eyes. She was desperate, confused and having her friend's reassurance went a long way towards keeping her sane. "Finish telling me."
"We didn't think we'd ever find you until Hermes had a vision that showed him a partial list of jump sequences. The information was sketchy at best, and Hermes couldn't tell if what he was seeing was even relevant, but that didn't keep us from jumping to hell and back looking for you. Then after weeks of searching we jumped to some little backwater system that didn't seem to be offering the universe much in useful contributions."
Kara smiled at her friends take on the desolate little system that had been hiding one hell of a gem. They say never judge a book by it's cover, well seems like you couldn't judge a solar system by the planets either, at least the ones you could see at first glance.
"Then Devon went berserk, screaming your name and completely freaking out. At first we thought it was because he could sense your presence, but then he tells us you're in danger. Well duh, we knew you were in danger, after all the cylons had captured you, but low and behold he meant immediate danger. We were going to go back to the fleet and have him checked out when the sensors quietly registered the planet. You know on a side note when a planet that is basically paradise is found I think the sensors should get up and do a happy dance, something with a little punch, know what I mean."
Kara laughed at him, but she could totally understand the need for fanfare when you found a place that could become your new home. Balloons, confetti, fireworks, all those thing would be a nice touch to finally discovering what you had been looking for.
"Any way, we picked up your distress signal, and then your brother calmly let's us know that there was a chance that Apollo might try to kill you. After that we raced like hell to get to you, and when we got there it was to find Lee straddling your body with his hands wrapped around your throat."
Helo paused, his voice choked with emotions, the memories of seeing his best friend laying there while the man she adored was choking the life out of her. The sight of Lee screaming at her, tears coursing down his face and trying so hard to kill her would remain with Helo for the rest of his life. He understood unconditional love, after all he was deeply in love with Athena and it mattered not that she was a machine, so he would do everything to support his friend in whatever she decided to do concerning her relationship with one Lee Adama. He felt Kara's small hand on his cheek and her gentle encouragement to continue.
"It took Devon and Andreas both to get Lee off of you," Helo said with a little catch in his voice. "I scooped you up in my arms and got the hell out of that tent. I thought it was best if I removed you from Apollo's vicinity; he was fighting like hell to get to you, and your brothers had to use some extreme force to keep him down."
"In other words they beat the crap out of him," Kara said helping Helo with the words.
"Yeah," he replied shaking his head. "They had to beat him unconscious, and even after that they restrained his arms in case he came to before we got back to the fleet. It was decided that Lee be held on the Galatica under guard until their doctor could figure out what was wrong with him."
"I can tell you that whatever is wrong with him, that bitch figures into it prominently," Kara hissed. If she ever got the chance to get her hands around the neck of another Six model, she would happily choke the life out of the fucking machine.
"I don't think I really want to know," Helo said a little stunned at the look of pure venom on Kara's face. "Any way that is pretty much how things stand right now. You're recovering and Lee is in fucked in the head."
"Thank you Karl," Kara said turning his face towards her. "I know that everyone wants to protect me, but I don't need protecting from him. Whatever they did to him, it made him do this. It may not be fixable, but I have no intentions of whatever it is coming between us."
"You didn't fight back, did you?" He asked looking into her eyes. He saw the pain that was shadowed in their depths, and knew that his friend shared a connection with some one that nothing short of death could sever, and even then she'd keep on fighting for him.
"No," she whispered. "It wasn't him, not really. They've warped something inside of him, made him believe things that I don't know about. I believe that torturing him was only part of the plan, the other part was that he would eventually kill me if we ever managed to escape. Nothing would destroy him faster than knowing that I died by his hands."
Karl decided that it was time for him to go so that she could get some rest. He also figured that she needed some privacy so that she could let go and have a good cry. She didn't give into tears often, if ever, but right now she had more to deal with than any one person should.
"I'm going to go and let you get some rest," he said leaning over to kiss her lightly on her forehead, the only part of her face that wasn't currently covered in bruises. "If you need anything, and I mean anything, don't hesitate to send some one to get me."
Kara only shook her head, sleeping already beginning to drag her back under. She was in pain, but she was sure Karl would alert a nurse to make sure they gave her something, and right now she didn't want to answer any questions for anybody.
&&&&
"Do you think this is a wise idea?" Roslin asked Adama as the two of them waited for the shuttle doors to open. It had been three days since Fleet Admiral Thrace had relayed a request for Kara to be allowed to see Lee. There had been much deliberation on the idea, and in the end the request had been granted.
"Cottle feels that in order for Lee to even begin to move forward, he needs to deal with Kara," Bill replied never removing his eyes from the shuttle door.
"I just wonder if any good will come from it," she said hoping that they weren't going to cause the younger Adama any more harm. Both her and Bill had been devastated when Lee had been brought aboard the Galatica in restraints, unconscious and beaten to hell and back. When they had been apprised of what had transpired, they knew the heartache was just beginning.
The doors to the shuttle opened slowly and Bill stiffened noticeably when Kara Thrace appeared in the open hatch. Most of the swelling had gone down, but nothing could hide the bruising on her face and the horrific black fingerprints around her throat. The Admiral wanted to howl at what had been done to this woman that his son loved, and for it to have been done by his son's own hands felt like a knife to his already battered heart.
He walked over to the shuttle and pulled her gently into his arms. For a long moment they stood there wrapped in a loving embrace, drawing strength from each other. After a while Bill drew back and looked into her clear green eyes.
"I am glad that you're alright," he said letting her know that he meant it with every fiber of his being. He could easily see why his son loved this woman so much, in a short amount of time he too had come to love her.
"The baby is fine too," she said knowing that he must be concerned about his grandchild.
"I don't think that's the most pressing thing right now," he said gently wanting her to know that she was more important than just the fact that she was carrying his son's child.
"You don't blame him?" She asked. "Please tell me you don't see him as some sort of monster."
"Never," Bill assured her. "He's my son, and I'll always see the little boy that he was. I know he'd never hurt you, so they had to break something in him to drive him to commit such a heinous act."
"Does he know I'm coming?" Kara asked as they began to walk arm in arm away from the shuttle.
"We thought it best not to give him the opportunity to refuse your visit," the President said coming up and drawing Kara in. She ached for both of them, so young and so tortured; yet she saw a strength in this woman that wouldn't accept this situation until she made it better to her own satisfaction.
"You came alone?" Adama asked her as he began leading the way off the hangar deck.
"Yes," Kara replied. "I'm not leaving until Lee understands that this changes nothing between us, and knowing him the way I do, that means I might be here a while."
Bill chuckled knowing that Kara had that correct. His son was beyond stubborn, and he knew that he was taking the whole situation badly. Lee didn't want to hear that the cylons had done something to his mind that set him on this path. All that mattered was the end result, he had tried to kill the woman he loved. He wasn't fit to be allowed into contact with others, he definitely shouldn't ever be around Kara again, and if he had his way, he would be confined to the brig for life. Bill fervently hoped that Kara could get through to him, he didn't know what to do if this failed.
"You're keeping him in the brig?" Kara asked in astonishment when they arrived outside of the doors that led to the holding cells.
"He insisted on," Bill said gently. "He believes himself to be a danger to others, especially you, so he's had himself brought up on charges and confined to the brig."
"He's also refusing medical treatment," Laura said as they walked through the doors.
"Well we just see about all this," Kara replied in a dangerously quiet tone.
The three of them moved down the corridor flanked by cells until they came to the last one on the right. There was a marine guard who snapped to attention behind a desk, and then relaxed back into his seat after Adama saluted him, motioning him to resume his duties.
Kara ached at the sight of Lee stretched out the cot unaware of her intense scrutiny. He was thinner, but she remembered that after having fled with him from the cylons. They hadn't beaten him, but they most assuredly had tortured him mentally, and it was obvious that they either withheld food from him, or he wouldn't eat what they gave him. She knew that her brothers had roughed him up a bit, but any swelling was gone, and what bruising there may have been had mostly faded away.
"Major Adama," Laura said breaking the silence that had begun to grate on her nerves.
She saw Lee flinch at the use of his rank, but he opened his eyes and snapped to attention as quickly as possible. She saw all that shatter as his eyes landed on Kara. They watched as his eyes registered his shock, then the pain of seeing what he had done to her, his gaze lingering on her throat. As if they were watching a scene on stage, they all saw him gather himself and look towards the President.
"I have not been cleared to receive any non Colonial Fleet personnel," he said in a very crisp voice.
"I'll take it from here," Kara said looking at both Bill and Laura. "I think the accused and I have a lot to talk about."
Bill couldn't help the smile that forced it's way out. Kara could play Lee's game if that was the way he wished to carry it. He lightly squeezed her shoulder, gave her a kiss on her cheek, and taking the President's arm walked out of the brig. Kara swung her gaze back to Lee after she heard the doors close, and noticed that he was looking anywhere but at her.
"Corporal," she said turning her head to address the marine. "Would you be good enough to open this door and give the Major and I a little privacy?"
"Corporal, Captain Thrace doesn't have the authority to give you orders as she is not Colonial Fleet military," Lee said leveling a hard glance to the Corporal. "So you can ignore anything she says to you. In fact escort her from the brig, and see to it that she safely reaches the hangar deck so that she may return to her ship."
"Now Corporal," Kara all but purrs. "If I was you I might wonder which one of us I might be in the most immediate danger from."
Kara said all this as she slowly moved towards the young Corporal with a smile on her face. Anyone who knew Kara could have told the young man that at this moment she was at her most dangerous, but all he saw was a slender young woman with a pleasant smile.
"Now it's true that if you do as I ask, eventually Major Adama could have you brought up on charges of disobeying a direct order," she drawled out as she stepped around the desk.
"But what you really should be concerned about right at this moment is how badly will your jaw hurt when you finally regain consciousness," Kara said as she swung back and delivered a stunning right hook to the Corporal's jaw, followed by an upper cut to his chin that sent him crashing to the floor in a boneless heap.
Lee stared in open mouth horror as the young man went down, a sucker for a pretty lady. He would have to school the Corporal that you couldn't trust women in any situation. But what had Lee terrified was that Kara was calmly standing in front of his cell door, key in lock about to enter.
"Don't come in here Kara," he said hoping that for once she would listen to him.
"I'm not afraid of you Lee," she said swinging the door open and stepping in. "Nor of what you might do, but I'm thinking that after that little showdown in the tent, whatever that bitch had planned has been thwarted. I wasn't suppose to survive your attack, but I did, so now we need to talk."
"I could very well snap again, and try to kill you," he said backing up as she slowly advanced on him. He flinched when she grabbed his hands and placed them around her throat, lining up the fingers precisely.
"Do you have a desire to kill me Lee?" she asked quietly while looking into his eyes. Kara saw the pain, the fear that rolled through him. She felt his hands shake as she held them around her throat; she knew what she was doing was killing him on the inside, but it needed to be done.
"No," he said in a hoarse whisper, dropping his hands away from her bruised flesh. Flashes of what had happened in the tent came rushing back to him, and he had to forcibly hold back the tears that threatened to fall at what he had almost accomplished. If her brothers hadn't gotten there when they did, he would have killed her, she would be dead.
"Then tell me what you thought I did that was so bad that you wanted me dead?" She said to him in a strained whisper.
"I never wanted you dead," he said in a tortured voice. "But Kara, why?"
"Why what?" She asked once again grabbing hold of his hands.
"Why would you give that monster a piece of you?" He asked gathering her into his arms. Kara felt his body trembling, shaking with emotion. She leaned back a little from him so she could see his face, what she saw there broke her heart. He looked devastated, ravaged, as if they had ripped out a piece of his soul, but kept the rest of him alive.
"Why would you be willing to bear that monster's child?"