Hikaru was released from the hospital a week later with the condition that he would spend one hour in therapy every week for the next two months.

I couldn't have been happier.

"I'm home," he said, standing in the door to our room, face lit with relief and closure.

I didn't waste a moment, kissing him the instant the door clicked shut. His lips acted feverishly against mine, tongues meeting in between.

We could finally exist together again, without fear for stupid, Outside feelings.

Nothing could penetrate our happiness.

But still…

It soon became a battle for power that neither of us could control. We were crashing together, pushing each other into the walls, fighting to earn the upper hand, until Hikaru pushed me to the bed.

I looked at him carefully as he straddled my waist. He was breathing every bit as hard as me, his eyes burning with new passion and desire.

And none of it was sadistic or angry.

Our mouths met again, but I wasn't going to let him take over, just because he was on top.

"I want you," he moaned as I attacked his neck with my lips and teeth. "All I ever wanted was you."

I grinned into his skin, flipping him over so I could be on top. He easily complied, using this freedom to pull off my shirt.

"Hikaru," I panted, running my fingers under his shirt. He pulled that off, too, sitting up and pushing me off to face him. His hands cupped my face, pulling us together so we could stare into the other's eyes. My arms lay weakly at my sides as his bright ambers penetrated my soul.

"Kaoru," my twin whispered tenderly, rubbing my cheeks with his thumbs. "I want you—only you. We were meant to be together. We were made together! There's no one else for us. I want to take you, right now. Is that okay? Are you ready for this?"

"Only if you can win," I teased, smashing against his kiss. Willingly…

Desperately.

My hands roamed around his chest as his kept our faces glued together. I wasn't about to complain, and not only because my tongue was already engaged in other activities.

I can't say just what I really did feel then.

I was happy, but so inexpressibly sad.

I was triumphant, but so defeated.

I was so in love…

Period.

Hikaru groaned into my every caress, every touch. It excited me to know what I could pull out of my brother, but I was ready for him to act as well.

I wanted to feel his fingers again…

I fought my mouth away from him.

"Your turn," I gasped, letting air into my lungs, but he just let his head fall to my shoulder.

It finally hit me that he had just left the hospital. He must've been tired, and I was asking too much of him. I threw my arms around him, rubbing his back in soothing strokes.

"You must be tired. Do you want to sleep? We can do this later," I offered, moving him to sit more comfortably in my lap. His shoulders were heaving in his desperation for air.

Finally, he picked up his head to glare at me in defiance.

"No. No, I can't wait."

I was confused by his belligerent pigheadedness, but I wasn't about to argue with the face closing in on mine.

The face so much like mine.

Trying to let him get in good breaths, I resumed my battle with desire, trying to best Hikaru in at least this. Our pants found their way to the floor, followed shortly by our bodies.

Hikaru had me pinned to the ground, on his hands and knees, and we spent some time just panting and staring into the other's eyes.

I wanted him so badly.

He wanted me.

I couldn't help but grin, grabbing him around the neck and pulling him down to me.

His body felt so warm against mine.

I could have stayed there forever, except for one thing.

Okay, two things.

Both very large and insistent.

"Bed," I managed, clumsily standing, pulling Hikaru with me. We fell together, mouths locked again.

"I call top," Hikaru growled into my throat. I shivered, trying to protest, but I never got the opportunity.

Hikaru's boxers hit the ground, and mine followed shortly after.

"This could hurt you," he whispered, hands poised above my abdomen. I reached out to brush some of his hair away from his face, smiling as kindly as possible in light of my urgent impatience.

"Do it."

His hands grabbed my hips, stroking my skin as his fingers slipped further down…

Down…

Down…

Every second was a new bubble of pleasure. As one digit found my entrance, I gasped, but tried to regain control as Hikaru bent over my body, his face just above mine. He kissed my jaw as another finger slipped inside.

I gave a small cry, and the fingers froze. I rocked slowly into them, begging Hikaru to continue. He nodded, beginning a steady rhythm and forcing my body to keep up.

I easily complied.

Willingly.

Desperately.

"Are you ready?!"

He left my body, and I found his face through haze of remaining euphoria. He seemed concerned, but determined.

"Yes, oh God yes!" I moaned loudly, readying myself. Hikaru prepared himself, hoisting me up by the thighs and…

Wham!

I felt as if I could hear him enter me.

At first, the pain was immense. My eyes swam and overflowed; my mouth opened and gaped noiselessly; my back arched and nearly gave out.

"Kaoru!"

He leaned over me again, frightened and worried. I grabbed his shoulders, biting sharply on his collarbone until the pain was replaced by an almost hysterical giddiness.

"Move!" I urged when I couldn't stand it anymore.

He began with such maddening slowness, gradually becoming more confident that I wasn't in any serious pain.

"Kaoru!" he cried, about to…

"Hik-karu!" I screamed, about to…

Oh my. What a mess…

Sweat glistened all over his body as my vision returned. My twin cautiously pulled out of me, breathing heavily. He came crashing down beside me, flat on his back.

"Wow," was the only thing he could say.

I rolled over to drape across him, my head filled with the sound of his heartbeat.

It was so quick…

Did I do that to him?

"What was that?" he whispered some minutes later.

"I love you," I answered, kissing his chest without moving my head. I could taste his perspiration on my lips, and I smiled, savoring the flavor.

It was Hikaru's.

Something not even I had.

"I…love you…too."

He was so sleepy. I pulled the greatly abused sheet over our bare waists, hiding our nudity in case anyone were to barge in.

"I missed…you."

"I missed you too, Hikaru."

"That was…new. Not like Haruhi at all."

I rubbed his stomach absently. I didn't like this talk of Haruhi.

"Go to sleep. I'll feel bad if you don't get some rest."

"Okay Kaoru."

His eyes closed, fluttering every once and a while as he drifted unsteadily into his dreams.

I just lay there next to him, halfway on top of him, his arm holding me there.

In the brief seconds before falling asleep, I noticed a few things.

I realized that the bandage that had been on Hikaru's arm had come off during our…activities, and that a jagged line of stitches was now cutting into my back.

I realized that Hikaru's other hand was firmly grasping mine, fingers spasming every once in a while to squeeze my own.

But the main thing I noticed was…

For the first time I could remember, I was on Hikaru's side of the bed, and he was on mine.

It felt wonderful.

My eyes flew open a split second before the door, and I soon gathered exactly what the intruder would see.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

I flinched into Hikaru, feeling him stir and begin to sit up, but he faltered and fell as he, too, took in the situation.

"Kaoru? Hikaru!"

"H-Haruhi…" I began, pulling away from my brother and sitting up, carefully keeping the sheets in place. "Calm down. It's not what you think."

"What I think? What I think?! How about what I see?!" the girl screeched, gesturing wildly at the chaos surrounding her. "What the fuck is wrong with the two of you? This is…disgusting! It's sick, Kaoru!" She was on the verge of tears.

"We didn't do that, Haruhi," Hikaru interjected, rolling to his side. "It was a very warm night, so we undressed. It's not that big of a deal. We're twins for chrissakes! Like we could ever do something that nasty!"

Haruhi looked uneasy, as if she both did and didn't want to believe what my brother had to say.

Me?

I turned away from the both of them, insides in turmoil.

Did he really think that?

That it was nasty?

Was he lying all along? Toying with us again?

Still?!

"Yes, I do feel better, thanks."

I had missed a chunk of shallow conversation, and didn't care.

"Haruhi, please leave so we can get dressed. Then we can have breakfast together."

"Okay, Hikaru. See you in a bit."

She shuffled out, leaving us in an uncomfortable rift.

"Let's get dressed," I mumbled after too much for me to handle. But as I stood up, Hikaru caught my wrist.

"You know I didn't mean that, right? I had to calm her down. I love you, Kaoru." He pulled me into his chest, securing my body to his. "No matter what."

"I l-love you, too."

I was still scared. I didn't want for him to lie to me. It terrified me how much power he still had over my life. He was my beacon, but he could still scorch me if I got too close.

But he still held my hand as we went down the stairs.