Once again, I apologize for the gap between the two previous chapters. Had it been up to me, I would have spent every second of my life giving you guys my story, but alas, I was given a new computer for Christmas and the internet took forever to get set up. However, I do believe now that I should be able to finish this story in a timely and suitable fashion.

On another note, I find it hilarious that everyone has read so well into Hikaru's character and funnier that no one thought that he would be accepting and tame about the Suki ordeal. He won't of course, but I still found it funny.

I have begun the story In This Legacy and hope to have it out soon; for those who don't know what that is, look at my profile.

I want to thank all of my readers [I just got over 10,000 hits!. I love all of you who have stuck with me this long and ask that you stick with me a bit more for the long haul. To my readers, reviewers, friends, and the skeptics,

Love,

Charlie, the Killer Queen and your "humble" author.

I woke in an unfamiliar bed with memories that couldn't have been from the night before. Only Suki's sleeping face could convince me of my own folly.

'Hikaru!' I mentally exclaimed, cursing my stupidity. I rolled out of bed and pulled my discarded garments onto my body. It was only two in the morning when I glanced at the clock on my way out the door.

I got back to Hikaru's and my room not five minutes later, flinging my clothes off again and crawling up against my brother.

"Where were you?" he asked, tone bordering indignant.

I hadn't expected him to be asleep, merely hoped.

"Helping Suki settle in." It wasn't exactly a lie.

"Did you fuck her?" Now his voice had slipped back to stormy.

"No! Hikaru, you'd know if I had and you should know that I wouldn't!" I tried to sound indignant myself, but I couldn't shake off the fear; what if he went back to how he was before? "I love you."

"And I love you too, Kaoru, but I can't trust that woman!"

Thank God; He wasn't going to go back to that.

He was only upset.

"She doesn't mean anything. She's just trying to run away from everything."

"Stay away from that woman," he growled, snatching my hands and pulling me into his body. "She'll only take advantage of your kindness."

The warmth of our bodies was different from what Suki's small frame could offer. It was much more pleasant this way, with Hikaru's hand in mine and his other running through my hair methodically, drawing me into a trance. I found the border of his neck and shirt with my nose and killed the hollow between his collarbones, relishing the sound—half moan, half growl—that the action pulled from his throat.

"Stop it, Kaoru. I couldn't sleep without you here, and now I'm tired. Plus…" he broke his word for a yawn, "Plus, we can't do anything with that woman here."

My free hand rubbed his chest and I smiled pleasantly into his skin.

"Fine, fine. But the second she's gone…"

"Oh, the instant."

The hand in my hair continued stroking until long after he fell asleep.

I shifted slightly to add more warmth to his unmoving form. After pulling the blankets more securely atop us, I too found myself slipping into a more pleasant realm of dreams.

School the next morning was obscene. No matter where I went, the rumors preceded me. There were whispers and snickers and worse. I did my best to ignore it, for Hikaru's sake if nothing else.

Still…

Even Haruhi was curious.

At best, Haruhi had been moping. She had lost; I had won; both of us recognized this. By then, she must have realized everything that had occurred between me and Hikaru and was doing her best to recover.

Her effort was commendable. I noted her progress as she approached Hikaru with questions masking the wounds just behind her eyes. Hikaru pointed her to me, and I pretended I hadn't been watching them. She came over and I gave her my full attention.

"What's happening with Suki? Is she really living with you now, or…" she trailed off suggestively as I gathered the proper words.

"She's staying at our main house because of some minor family issues. It's no big deal. It should all work itself out."

"Why doesn't she stay with someone else?" the girl continued relentlessly.

"Ask her," I replied with a shrug. "She says no one else would have her, which might be true. Or not. I can't tell with her."

"She could have come to me…"

"You're a "man" too, Haruhi," I pointed out, to which she shrugged.

"At least they think I'm gay. They probably think that you and Hikaru spend all day all over her." Accusation colored her words.

"You know that nothing's happened!" I hissed, fingers twitching at my sides.

She just smirked and leaned in close to whisper, "Yet."

"What're you—"

"Think about it: could you really stop her even if you wanted to?"

She had an odd look on her face, though, as she bobbed away, leaving me to gather the implications that she had left in her wake.

And it made me frown.

I could still refuse the girl, no matter what stood in our past.

I didn't love her the way I loved Hikaru.

Everything would work itself out.

Sitting in the Host Club, everything was far from working itself out.

Suki was conversing animatedly with me, but Hikaru could scarcely throw a glance my way, choosing instead to keep another set of girls occupied.

I was getting tired of having to share my twin.

He should only belong to me.

And I knew Hikaru felt the same about me.

At the first break in conversation I could get, I grabbed his elbow to force his attention to me.

"Hikaru?" I asked timidly, giving him an opening I begged silently for him to act on.

He took the bait.

"Yes, Kaoru, my heart?" he responded silkily.

"Are these girls prettier than me? Is that why you'd rather look at them?" I sighed, halfway in feigned sorrow and half anguished self-disgust.

"Oh, Kaoru. I just needed to get new faces in my mind because you're all I ever think about." His fingers found my cheek, other hand wrapping around my lower back, preparing me to leap into his arms, which I did in earnest, ignoring the avid audience surrounding us. Even Kyouya stopped pacing for an eyeful.

I smiled, concealing my face in my brother's shoulder. I would give everything to keep Hikaru this close always.

But alas…

"Oh, Hikaru, you're so sweet!" one of the girls giggled.

"And Kaoru's so precious!"

"This is a lot better than Hikaru and Haruhi!"

There!

He stiffened slightly, though I was positive his face was still the same beaming smile he always used to greet praise from the Outside.

My own smile was gone. I clenched one fist around his shirt fabric to let him know that we would have to talk about this later, alone.

I kissed his shoulder before pulling away if only to reassure him that I wasn't mad.

By the end of club activities, Suki was still bobbing around us expectantly and I belatedly realized that she would have to ride home in our car with us.

"Ah…ready to leave?" I asked quietly. Both nodded and we headed out, taking a leisurely pace and arriving at the car in due time.

The ride home was particularly painful.

No one talked.

We barely moved.

I clasped my hands together, content to stare out of the window the entire way. Suki sidled up beside me, pulling my arm into her hands and laying her head on my shoulder.

I tensed, throwing a panicked glance at Hikaru sitting across from me, who shrugged—eyes fiery and cold at the same time—and returned his attention to the road flying by outside.

Painful.

Like Haruhi said, I couldn't shove the girl off of me.

I just sat in miserable pain until we got home and I had an excuse to shake her off as I stretched, watching Hikaru's expression.

It didn't change.

"We should go change," I told Suki, fleeing upstairs and taking Hikaru with me by the elbow.

By the time we got behind the closed door, Hikaru was already trying to escape from me.

"Hikaru?" I hazarded, trying to get his precious attention.

"And you keep going on about Haruhi," he muttered darkly, shrugging off his jacket.

"Knock it off; you know that I didn't start that."

"You let her think whatever she wants, you dumbass! You went with her last night and now she won't leave you alone." His eyes were dark and angry. "You and her should just stay the hell away from me for a while."

"What are you talking about?!" I demanded, both confused and exasperated. "All I want is to be with you, but you just seem to want to push me away!"

He laughed loudly and rudely.

"What about you that day on the couch? What do you call that? You wouldn't even tell me anything!" His face grew even stormier. "Sometimes I don't think you really care about anyone but yourself."

"Hikaru…" I felt like I was breaking. Pressure built up behind my eyes and a sensation was building in my nose like I had been winded. My throat felt too big for my neck, and my lips went numb. I could hardly talk. I turned away from him to ask, "Is…Is that what you think?"

"What else am I supposed to think?!" my twin inquired in agony. "You hardly start anything, you always just want my attention, if I'm not looking at you, you automatically get jealous and jump to outrageous conclusions and then you don't even say anything about it, just leave me to play catch-up! And then when I catch on, you go back to being passive about everything we do!" He wasn't even bothering to keep his voice down. Anyone passing by could hear everything. I almost felt like warning him, but he was being so terrifying.

Any second now, he could just snap.

He could go back to how he was before…

…the stormy and dangerous Hikaru.

Instead, I let the silence drag on.

"Well?! What do you have to say?!"

"I…I'm sorry…Hikaru."

"…Are you crying?"

I tried to say 'no' as my breath hitched to betray my efforts.

Surprisingly, his hand gripped my shoulder warmly. I pointed my face carefully away from him, trying not to cry.

It was hard.

"Stop it," he commanded, emphasizing with a squeeze. "Stop doing things like this. It would only make me hate you."

"Hikaru…" I slipped my hand over his, holding it weakly to my body. "Don't, Hikaru. Don't hate me."

"It's not my choice, Kaoru. You have to make me care about you. Stop caring about that woman. Focus only on me now."

"What about Haruhi?" I asked quietly. His hand twitched beneath mine. "You still care about her. You should just leave her alone; she doesn't want any more to do with you."

"Kaoru, I can't just leave her," he whispered, voice dripping with regret.

"You hypocrite!" I launched, whirling on him. The tears slipped out of my eyes, anger taking control of my actions now. "How dare you?! Everything's always different for you, isn't it? Did you think I didn't notice you watching her? Did you think that your relationship with her before has any excuse for you to be so selfish as to still want us both?! Are you soinsatiable that I'm not enough?"

"You don't have any idea what you're talking about! I don't love her, Kaoru, I hurt her! I took everything away from her and I can't even tell her anything now! I can't do anything to explain myself in a way that she'll understand and accept! She's not mine anymore; I can live with that. I can't stand that I treated her the way I did and she just thinks…just thinks that I'm a monster…"

"You are a monster, Hikaru. At the very least, you were. I don't know what kind of reform you've made for yourself, but that's the only way she'll ever see you. You have to live with that. That's your punishment for the way you acted."

He was still angry, but he was sad, too.

"Don't let me hurt you again, Kaoru."

"Don't try to."

I stalked over to my wardrobe and pulled off my uniform, slipping into a t-shirt and jeans. Hikaru hadn't moved as I walked out of the room and made my way down to the kitchen to get a quick bite before starting on my homework.

I was trembling too much to write.

What had I done?

I had just yelled at Hikaru.

He was still so unstable…

Dangerous, even.

I couldn't bring myself to put anything in my mouth, and my homework wouldn't work itself out, so I just sat at the table, staring at my blank notebook, a plate of blurred…something just next to my fingertips.

I focused everything on breathing, scared that if I stopped concentrating for even a second, I'd forget how and suffocate on raw fear.

Why couldn't she just stay away?

"Kaoru? You're shaking; what's the matter?"

She slithered to my side, a hand on my shoulder, the other in my hair.

"Nothing, Suki. I just need…"

'…Hikaru. I need my missing half.'

"I can get you anything you want," she stated obediently, leaning over to stick her chest in my face…or rather, to look me in the eye. Or perhaps both.

She, like myself, was desperate for company.

"Just give me some space for now. If I need anything—(God forbid)—I'll ask you for it."

Blessedly, she left me alone.

It was late. I should have known better than to go back to my room so late. I had spent the afternoon pacing restlessly around one of the half-empty wings of the house, trying to kill some of my anxiety. It kicked into overdrive as I entered our room at near-eleven at night.

"Come here," Hikaru called as I slid through the door.

I obeyed.

"Kaoru, I need for you to listen to me. You can't keep doing all of these things. I love you, okay? I need you with me."

It was dark, but I could see the earnestness in his eyes.

And his naked body, sprawled gracefully across our bed. I couldn't help but look over his body—his beautiful, perfect body—and I could feel my groin twitching uncomfortably.

"Hikaru, we can't; she'll hear…"

"We'll just have to be extra quiet then. Lock the door."

I obeyed numbly.

"Take off your shirt and come here."

I was trembling uncontrollably again. I couldn't get my shirt over my head properly for several agonizing minutes.

But soon enough, I was standing before my godlike brother, already breathing too heavily.

He was growing hard just watching my reaction to him.

"Please…I w-want you," I whimpered. I felt feverish and ill.

"Soon," he assured me, reaching out and deftly unbuckling my pants and dropping them along with my boxers to the floor. "Oh, Kaoru…you're this big already?"

"Please," I repeated, quivering more in apprehension.

"Don't forget to be quiet," he warned.

And he took me into his mouth.

I felt my jaw drop and stood silently shouting and gasping at the feel of Hikaru's tongue and cheeks and lips…

My legs nearly gave out from the sheer pleasure.

"H-Hika…Hikaru!"

He squeezed my member to silence me. The contraction and growing heat made me lose it and I reached my orgasm as Hikaru suddenly released me.

I collapsed to the floor.

"Oh, Kaoru. That wasn't that long at all. I'll get bored if you always release too early."

This wasn't my Hikaru.

He was very upset still.

He was almost stormy, and I couldn't take it.

I sat on my ankles, staring at the mess I'd made, and trembled violently with Hikaru's cold glare ripping through my hair.

"Get up here. It's my turn now."

I meekly obeyed, fumbling clumsily to sit in front of Hikaru. When I managed to glance up at him, I watched as his icy eyes melted into mine and he reached for me, kissing me passionately. There was no restraint or sense to this kiss. Hikaru was ready to show me everything he'd ever felt towards me.

I just had to pray that I was strong enough to answer it.

He knocked me to my back and placed his hands on my neck as he straddled my waist. My fingers reached out on their own to touch his chest, shaking worse than ever. They worked their way down, rubbing the sides of his body tenderly.

"Kaoru," he grunted, pulling away to look me in the eye. My hands fell to the bedspread. "Don't be gentle with me. I can't feel what you do if you don't show it!"

"I…can't," I replied hazily. "I won't st-stop shaking."

He kissed me forcefully again and leaned back to brush his lower back against my erection, making me moan and shiver even more.

"Quiet!" Hikaru hissed against my teeth. I lowered my mouth to deny him access as I tried to catch my breath.

Hikaru seemed to only keep going because of my won reaction, but there was little I could do to help him along. My strength was gone and I was still shaking, though it was finally beginning to pass.

We were only panting together now, but I was sure that if I didn't do anything soon, Hikaru would give up and leave, to do it for himself.

I didn't want him to do anything like that.

Ever.

So I willed myself into action.

My hands moved to Hikaru's thighs, and I began to massage them rigorously, each stroke stronger than the last. Soon I had Hikaru panting away again, his mouth opening and closing without words to fill it. That mouth—that talented, tricky mouth—latched onto my neck and began to suck on it, kiss it, and move to my shoulder. My movements became jerky and less effective, and stifled half-sounds choked their way out of my throat.

"Kao…ru."

"Hik-karu."

I grabbed him in my palms, making him shudder against me. His mouth left my skin as his back arched until I thought he would snap in half.

"You're…beautif-f-ful," he stammered endearingly.

"You're p-perfect," I replied, gaining energy and strength.

I managed to flip us over, my hands still grasping him and his eyes on fire.

"You can…have th-this round." His breathing was erratic and pained.

"N-no. I w-want you…in me." It was said in a normal speaking voice, but Hikaru looked at me as if I'd shouted.

"But…But…"

"Please!" I begged, squeezing him sharply. "I need you."

"Okay…Okay Kaoru."

I released his throbbing arousal and he took a steadying breath before sliding a hand sensuously down my stomach muscles and further.

I pressed my forehead against his as an intruding finger found and penetrated me. I stifled a gasp, knowing it would only make Hikaru stop and insist that I take him instead.

Because the pain that hurt Hikaru the most…

…was my pain.

"Ah!" I couldn't contain the noise as the second finger joined the first.

Why was it always such a new experience? We'd done this countless times before, and yet…

I bit my lip as the fingers swiveled and scissored.

"Hika…Hikaru…"

His unoccupied hand pulled me down to kiss him again, trying to distract me from the pain.

"Go!" I murmured when he pulled away to breathe.

He flipped us over again, pulling my knees over his shoulders and then gently pushed into me.

I did my best not to make noise; I bit my lip, I bit my knuckle, I stabbed Hikaru with my fingernails as I clenched my hand around his forearm, but a small cry still escaped me.

"I know! You're okay! Only a bit…more…"

Hikaru hissed as he fully entered me.

"Tight!" he grimaced, shifting around inside.

I caught my breath and unclenched my fist, frowning at the red crescents that would appear in the morning on Hikaru's now-marred body.

My feet jerked uselessly behind Hikaru's head as he began to move. His pattern was irregular. Our sweat-soaked bodies fit together perfectly, but still slipped over each other as he gained momentum.

And then…

"Oh!"

A certain movement had caused my twin to hit that spot.

"Are you okay? K-Kaoru?"

"Do…that…again…"

He hesitated, but pressed slowly into the sweet spot, causing me to shudder in ecstasy.

"Hikaru…"

"K-Kaoru…"

I realized that I had come all over Hikaru's sweaty body, but he still had yet to…

"Keep going," I whispered, giving him permission. It wasn't long before he hit his own release deep inside of me.

My abused body twinged as Hikaru pulled out and away from me. I missed his warmth instantly, but I was still leaking Hikaru's essence and overcome by the tranquility I always felt after sex.

"Hikaru?"

"One second," came the reply, and I automatically knew that he was cleaning the floor from where I had come earlier.

And he was back soon enough, cradling me to his chest. I licked the sweat from his neck, making him groan tiredly.

"Stop, Kaoru. You'll make me want you again."

"I always want you," I replied honestly.

"Kaoru, I can't go again…knock it off."

"Fine; I'll behave."

"Really. I don't know why you were so scared before."

"Huh?" I looked up at his kind and caring face. "What do you mean?"

"Why else would you shake so much?"

I absently stroked his shoulder and neck.

Why indeed…