"Hikaru?" What happened to your arm?"

I froze as Haruhi asked the question.

"Nothing. Kaoru and I were watching an old horror flick and he got scared and grabbed for me."

"Hikaru!" I snapped playfully. "Why not tell everyone all about it?!"

He winked at me conspiratorially.

Mori-senpai held up the arm, regarding it critically before exchanging a glance with Kyouya.

"Be more careful you two. If you hurt profits, I'll make you pay for it personally."

He glared at me meaningfully, making me shrink a bit.

Hunny-senpai grabbed the bottom of my shirt, un-tucking it.

"I get scared too. It's okay!" he said with a smile before running back to latch onto Mori-senpai's leg.

"Customers are coming," Kyouya-senpai sniffed and hurried to greet them. I took Hikaru by the hand and followed, the others trailing happily behind.

Everything was normal again…

…except one secret.

One that would stay secret.

"Welcome!"

Suki immediately bobbed over to stand beside us, leading a trail of ducklings/patronesses.

"What can we do to serve you?" the pair of us asked as we dipped into even bows. No new faces, no exceptionally shocked girls.

Good.

No one would notice if I was just a bit closer to Hikaru.

I squeezed our still-joined fingers and we straightened to delighted faces.

And Kyouya-senpai.

"I hope you don't mind hosting with me today, Kaoru. Hikaru, you can join Tamaki."

Both boys looked at me, Kyouya in impatience and Hikaru, reluctance.

"No problem, right Kaoru?" I said cheerfully turning to him. I tried to convey how much I wanted to avoid our leering senpai.

"But…Hikaru," he murmured, falling directly in line. "I hate being apart from you…"

"I know, but we should listen to Kyouya-senpai." I kissed the back of his hand.

"I'm not convinced," Suki butted in. "Hikaru is Kaoru."

How…

How could she…

Our faces were frozen, but our "mother's" icy smirk cracked our composure.

"Hikaru," he said delicately, looking directly at the real Hikaru. "Go join Tamaki and his guests."

With a final glare, my brother stomped off, ignoring the dark Ootori.

"That hurts, Kaoru; do you dislike me?" Kyouya-senpai asked with that sinister smile.

"What are you thinking?" I muttered, keeping my face blank.

He sniffed and adjusted his glasses.

"Nothing. We just haven't seen eye-to-eye in a while."

The implications were there.

Kyouy did know most of it…

Could he have guessed the rest?

'Probably,' I amended, following the group to the pair of couches waiting for us.

"Kaoru? Did you want to see Tamaki?" Suki asked in her usual timid manner.

I tried to smile at her, but I felt the pressure already from the little contact I'd already had with Kyouya-senpai after so long without him in my head.

Hunny-senpai and Mori-senpai were both fairly occupied and Tamaki was already with Hikaru. Haruhi had an inordinate amount of guests, as usual…

There was no escape…

I sat down beside the supplier of my torment, pondering what he could possibly want with only me.

"You and Hikaru are a lot closer again, right?" one of the girls asked me. I smiled and nodded.

"We've been through a lot recently, but it's all okay again."

"And he's not with Haruhi anymore?"

Kyouya even glanced up from his clipboard.

"They're done. I'm sure they're both doing their best to recover and smile a hundred percent again," I assured them.

"They won't hook up again, will they?" another pressed. "You were so sad…"

There were four of them, Suki and three others, on the couch opposite us.

Two had medium-black hair, but the girl between them had an almost fiery-orange head.

"You're not Japanese, are you?" I questioned her, changing the subject gracelessly.

"Half," she explained, color entering her face. "My dad was from America."

I smiled as the conversation carried to the Western culture, ignoring the way Suki and Kyouya looked at me.

I just didn't want to think about Hikaru and Haruhi together, no matter what.

It didn't make me 'sad'.

It ripped me up inside.

And Kyouya knew that as much as I did.

"Kaoru…Have you and Hikaru been…'active' with Suki nearby?" Kyouya asked me as the girls excused themselves.

"No," I lied automatically. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"She suspects something," he mumbled into his clipboard. "Her eyes never left you."

I felt like I was being insulted in some way that only Kyouya could understand, but shrugged it off.

Hikaru was coming over as Suki stole Haruhi's attention out of the corner of my eye.

His arm slipped across my shoulder blades as he pulled us together.

"Well, Mom? Was he behaving?" he teased, smiling too widely.

"Admirably so. You two may leave."

Hikaru took me by the hand out of the room. I managed to get Suki's attention, and she nodded to signify that she would be along in a bit.

"Tamaki asked my permission to ask Haruhi out," my brother blurted the instant we were in the car.

"What?"

"He thinks I want her back or something…as if she'd have me now…"

The last part wasn't meant for me, and it stung. My face felt stretched.

"Do you?" It was a whisper.

"Huh?"

"Hikaru, do you still love Haruhi?"

"I…"

Like a thorn…

"Answer me!" I shouted. "Do you love her or not?!"

"Kaoru, of course I do," he sighed, staring intently at me. I couldn't meet his gaze. "I love you so much more, though."

"So, you picked me?" I blubbered, feeling my cheeks go numb except for one hot streak. "You decided that you loved me more?! Hikaru, that's…that's not…"

The door opened, and we both froze. Suki entered the car, sitting across from me and Hikaru, obviously flustered by our expressions.

Certainly she hadn't heard…

"Kaoru? Are you crying?" she asked timidly.

Hikaru whipped around to look at me again.

"No, it's just the weather. Maybe I'm getting a little sick?"

"Do you want to stay home tomorrow?" the girl persisted eagerly.

"I'll think about it," I answered, staring out the window.

Another silent drive…

"What about Suki?" Hikaru hissed once we were back in our room, "changing".

"What about her?"

"Don't you love her?"

"No."

"B-but…you had sex with her…"

"No, I didn't, Hikaru," I frowned, crossing my arms. "There's nothing between us."

"Then send her home!"

"She doesn't want to go."

"Make her!"

"I can't!" I snapped, flopping down into a chair. "She's ridiculous!"

"Then if you don't care about her, why—"

"I pity her, Hikaru," I glowered. "She doesn't have anyone."

"But you have me! And I need you!"

I laughed bitterly. "No, you don't. Why not get Haruhi again? She's at least allowed to love you."

"Kaoru, I picked you because of the things you can give me that she can't!"

"Name one," my voice demanded. I didn't want to be so cruel; I wanted to tell him to forget everything and go back to normal.

But some part of me wouldn't let it slide.

And Hikaru couldn't think of a single thing to say. He just stood there, gaping at me.

"You just wanted someone you could blindfold and play with. I'm not that person anymore," I said in a colder tone than I'd heard away from Kyouya-senpai. "I'm going out. Call me if you think of anything."

I changed quickly into street clothes and had my hand on the knob, ready to leave, when…

"Where are you going?" It was almost a sob.

"Figure it out."

Slam!

Up…

Over…

Down…

Under…

It was a Ferris wheel, of course.

Even without Hikaru, I could still have fun here.

Right?

People got on and off around me, but I didn't see their faces.

My hand stayed on my phone, an d I kept telling myself not to cry.

I want Hikaru to call.

I wanted Hikaru.

A man and his son held hands and laughed, gently rocking their basket back and forth.

My face crumpled bit by bit every second that the laughter was all I could hear.

No crying. Boys aren't supposed to, you know.

All of the anger I had melted away.

A cool, dark pebble was all that was left of my heart: me without Hikaru. He filled me with warmth. Without him…

I would get jealous of stupid Outsiders, rocking merrily in their basket.

The wheel slowed, bearing me openly to the sunset. I could see the ocean and further, deep into the red belly of the sky.

I touched down to see two people standing at the loading platform: the electrician and a near-reflection of myself.

"Thanks," Hikaru told the man, climbing in next to me.

Neither of us spoke until the mechanism was rotating at full speed.

"How'd you find me?"

"Where else would you be?"

"You called Kyouya, didn't you?"

He shook his head.

"I called Tamaki."

"…What did you say?"

"I told him that I didn't want Haruhi back."

Silence…

"Then I came here. It's your favorite one, isn't it?"

We reached the top, staring the sunset down.

I took his hand into mine.

He wasn't demanding explanations or apologies.

He wasn't even upset.

I felt awful.

"Hikaru…I—"

"Shh…" he cut me off, lacing our fingers. "I know."

I couldn't help it.

I broke down, miserable because of my wretchedness.

Miserable because Hikaru could understand me.

Miserable because I didn't deserve anyone remotely like him.

He just rubbed my back as I cried, knowing that his embrace would be too warm for me.

Short, I know. The story's almost over, peeps. I really want to thank everyone for sticking with me even though I'm not the most reliable author out there. )

Suki Haters: I know. She's annoying and stupid. I sympathize, mostly because she's the kind of person I hate the most. She'll hang on to anything that's even remotely kind to her because she's terrified of being alone or in a situation too far out of her control. I hope she gets run over by a train, but that's not in my cards. Alas...

And no, Suki and Kaoru didn't do the nasty. Suki just guilted him into staying with her until she fell asleep, mostly because she's a manipulative wench. Seriously, even if you don't hate her, you'll be seriously put off by her later behavior, mostly because she's a manipulative wench. ;) I'm thinking maybe four more chapters and the epilogue.

LOVE, M'DEARS!!!!