Author's Note: This chapter is a little longer than my other ones would normally be. And, by the way, this isn't really going to be a humorfic, not really in the style of Fishing or The Pursuit of Happiness, for that matter. In fact, I don't even normally write in that style, so yeah...
"You what!?"
"God, don't make me repeat it," Ichigo grumbled to a very shocked Renji, who was gaping at him like there were rabbits squirming out of his nostrils.
"Seeing him come out of the shower is one thing, but…You asked out Hitsugaya-taichou!? You're crazy!" the redhead squawked in disbelief. "What did he say?"
"Apparently, tomorrow's the day that some guy died," Ichigo shrugged, "So he said, maybe another day, and that he'd think about it."
"Wow," Renji muttered, shaking his head. "Hitsugaya-taichou hasn't been out with another person in about fifty years, ever since that guy died…You know, Ichigo, there's got to be something special he sees in you. He never says yes to date requests, and I mean, never."
"Really? Well, he did say that he was impressed by the stories he heard about me…"
"You see!? He likes you!"
"Shut up! He does not like me!"
"Well, you definitely like him, if you tried asking him out when you barely even knew who he was."
"So what if I do like him?" Ichigo shot back defensively. "You said he was pretty yourself, too!"
"Yeah, he's pretty alright, but he's scary."
"He's not as bad as you say he is! He's just really stressed out, that's all! And there's loads more to him besides being pretty. He's really smart, you know. It's not everyday that you come across someone with looks and brains. Have you ever heard him talk before? You get the feeling that he knows everything when he speaks. And he's…he's not scary. Honestly, he-"
"Man, you're so lame, Ichigo, who cares if the kid's got brains!?" Renji interrupted. "Focus on the more important things! What'd he look like nearly naked?"
"Renji!" Ichigo hissed angrily. "Is all you care about his body!? God, you're so shallow! Like I said, there's so much more to him than his appearance! I can feel it! There's a lot more about him, but he's hiding it from us!"
"Okay, fine, maybe his skull's loaded with smarts, but…" At this point, Renji placed a hand over his chest. "…But he's got nothing over here. Nothing."
"God, you're acting like he's some heartless whore who's going to break all of our hearts and make us upset to the point of considering suicide," Ichigo grumbled with a roll of his chocolate-colored eyes.
"Because that's exactly what he is!" Renji snapped. "I've known him longer than you have, Ichigo, and this is my honest opinion on him, and I'm warning you, as a friend. Look at him. Seriously. He's got the prettiest face in Soul Society and he knows it, so what does he do? He parades around in that damned haori, showing off his figure and batting his stupid eyelashes at everyone that passes him like some vapid hooker bitch. And you know what? He likes the attention. He likes the idea of everyone loving him but unable to have him. He's going to use you, Ichigo. You know what he wants from you? He wants your name next to his. He wants everyone in Soul Society to talk about the two of you, he wants to be known as Hitsugaya Toshiro, the little boyfriend of the powerful substitute shinigami who single-handedly destroyed the Sokyoku. He wants everyone to be jealous, of both you and himself. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"No!" Ichigo shot back angrily. "He's not like that! He does not "bat" his eyelashes, and he is not a "vapid hooker bitch," I can't even believe you'd call him that. Why would you say that about him!? And he has to wear that haori anyways, since he's a taichou, you think he wears it for a fashion statement!? No! He's only following orders! He's not heartless, either, he's just sensitive after his old boyfriend died! You've got to stop talking all this shit about him, or I will hurt you. In fact…I bet you're jealous. I bet you're mad because you wanted to ask him out yourself, and you're trying to make me hate him! I'm right, aren't I!?"
"Shut up!" Renji retorted. "You're really naive, you know that, strawberry!? He's going to break your heart, and when he does, don't come crying back to me! I warned you, so don't claim I didn't!"
"Fine!" Ichigo shouted. "I don't need your shitty advice anyways! You'll see, Renji, I'll show you that Hitsugaya Toshiro's not the slut that you make him sound like!"
"Ha! Good luck with that, but in the end, nothing's going to come out of it."
With a final fierce glare, Ichigo stood up abruptly, turning to leave.
"Ichigo, wait!"
"What do you want!?"
"Just one quick question, okay?"
"Fine, what is it?"
"Um, well…" Renji muttered sheepishly, "Did you, um…Did you manage to get pictures of him, you know, after he came out of the shower?"
"No!" Ichigo yelped, disgusted. "What, you think I carry a camera around with me everywhere just in case I happen to see something like that!? Maybe you might, but I'm not that low, okay!?"
"Well, if things go well between you guys, then do you think, um…Do you reckon you could get some pictures of that for me? I mean, I'm your friend, right, and I bet the other guys would love to see that, too…"
"You're disgusting! You and your pervy friends, all of you are full of crap!"
And with that, Ichigo stormed away.
He was coming up with a plan, and he knew exactly who he was going to speak with in order to get a step closer to Hitsugaya.
After all, there was no better resource than the boy's fukutaichou, Matsumoto Rangiku.
The next day, promptly after waking up, Hitsugaya got out of bed quickly and quietly, not stopping to have any breakfast besides the usual piping hot cup of green tea in his office.
His fukutaichou was asleep on the couch, as usual, a small blanket draped over her reclining form. She had probably been pulling an all-nighter in an attempt to help him finish the paperwork without his knowing.
"Arigatou, Matsumoto," Hitsugaya whispered as he readjusted the blanket on her body for maximum coverage. He knew it was chilly in his office on account of his icy reiatsu, and Matsumoto often complained about it.
"Hn?" the strawberry blonde woman grunted, rolling over on her side and blinking sleepily. "Why're you already up, taichou?"
"I'm going out," Hitsugaya answered quietly. "It's that day again."
"Ah, okay, then. Don't worry, taichou, you can count on me to keep the tenth division organized today."
"Good. I'll see you later, then, and if you have spare time, get as much as the paperwork done as you can, understood?"
"That's no fun!"
"I'm not asking you whether it's "fun" or not. I'm asking you if you understood."
"Yeah, yeah, I understand. Look, it's five in the morning, okay? Let me at least get some more sleep before you get on my case, taichou."
"I'm sorry," Hitsugaya muttered grumpily.
"No worries."
"Well…I'll be off then."
"Mm-hmm. See 'ya later, taichou."
And with that, Hitsugaya was off, shunpo'ing through the Seireitei, his destination being its outskirts near the gates, where various graves had been posted for hundreds of shinigami that had died, most of them having been killed in the line of duty.
After a while of moving, he finally reached a grassy knoll, atop which sat a plain gray headstone, with nothing more etched into its surface except for the words, "Kusaka Sojiro."
He stopped, making his way up the knoll, before pausing in front of the headstone, his eyes running over the name engraved there. He let out a long and reminiscent sigh before dropping to the floor in a bow, touching his forehead to the grassy ground.
He held the position for a moment, before he pushed himself back up to his knees and sat in front of the headstone, reaching out to brush his fingers against the cold stone.
"How many years has it been?" he asked, as if there was actually someone there to hear him speak. "How many years have passed since you left me?"
There was a silence before Hitsugaya let out yet another sigh, staring quietly and contemplatively at the plain grave.
"Aha! Found you! So this is where you've been!"
Startled, Hitsugaya turned at the sudden sound of a loud voice interrupting his thoughts and his private time. His eyes met flaming orange hair.
"Kurosaki?" he grumbled, irritated. "In case you haven't noticed, this isn't an occasion for you to come lumbering about and shouting as you please."
"It's not?"
"No! Weren't you even listening to me yesterday?"
"Yeah, but I thought you might be sad today, so, um…I kind of wanted to see if you needed any company."
"Thank you for considering," Hitsugaya replied stiffly, "But, no. I don't need your company, or anyone else's, for that matter. How did you know to look for me here, anyway?"
"Oh," Ichigo shrugged nonchalantly. "Um, it was easy. I just had to ask Rangiku-san."
"Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya gave Ichigo an unhappy glare. "She was busy, and I don't appreciate that you had to insist on interrupting her. The tenth division has too many things to get done, and we don't need you meddling in our businesses. You are excused."
"Sorry, but, uh…You know, I was only trying to…Trying to help," the strawberry offered lamely and half-heartedly. Sometimes, he wished Hitsugaya wasn't as smart and quick-minded as he was. Then he'd never have to endure his biting remarks.
And then, he said something that was just plain stupid.
"And anyway, Toshiro, if you're so busy, then why're you spending time over here?"
That, obviously, had not been a very clever thing to say.
Hitsugaya seemed hurt at this remark, but even angrier than he was offended. Ichigo could tell because of the sudden scary drop in temperature.
"First of all, Kurosaki," he hissed, "It's Hitsugaya-taichou. Just because I said that I was impressed by your skills, it doesn't mean that you can get all conceited and address me so casually. Secondly, today is an extremely important day to me. Did you expect me to let you come marching up with that stupid oafish grin of yours, and openly disrespect both me and my former boyfriend's death? And thirdly, I believe I've already asked you to leave."
"I-I'm sorry!" Ichigo spluttered, horrified at his own tactlessness. "I…I didn't mean to offend you, or the other guy, I had no idea this was so important to you…"
"He was my fiancé," Hitsugaya cut him off in an icy, bitter voice. I was still very young at the time, but I knew enough to know that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I loved him, Kurosaki, and…and…And why am I even telling you this anyway!? It's not like you care or anything."
"What happened? How did he..."
"Oh, you want to know now, don't you?" Hitsugaya shot back icily. "I'll tell you how Kusaka Sojiro died - I killed him. I killed him, with my own katana. I had no choice, the authorities in Soul Society facilitated it between us, kill or be killed, just because...because of our...I-It's none of your business. Are you happy now!?"
"Hey, don't be like that, it was only a question out of curiosity..."
"If you won't leave, then I will. Good bye." He stood abruptly, shoving past Ichigo with such ferocity that it startled the strawberry. But there was something else that he saw that seemed to stab him directly in the heart – The boy's eyes were brimming with tears that he was struggling to keep behind his dark lashes.
"Toshiro, wait…"
But he had already disappeared.
Which left Ichigo wondering if he had totally blown it.
If he had learned one lesson today, it was the fact that Hitsugaya Toshiro was very easily annoyed and very easily offended.