Author's Note: Sorry, this chapter is pretty sappy.
After the three of them had seated themselves around the desk, and after they had all slowly started in on their meal, it became evident that the awkward tensions between Hitsugaya and Ichigo were going to be a serious problem.
"I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun," Hitsugaya finally said, placing his chopsticks down across the top of his bowl. "I…I shouldn't have acted so disrespectfully to you earlier this afternoon."
"Oh, no, no, it's alright," Ichigo replied hastily with his mouth full of food. "I should be the one apologizing." At this point, he stopped to swallow the bite he had been chewing on. "It was really rude of me to bother you."
"No, it's not alright," Hitsugaya muttered. "Especially since you and Matsumoto went into all the trouble to help me out today."
"It was nothing, taichou," Matsumoto shrugged. "We knew you were having a tough day, so we just decided to do you a small favor. It was Ichigo-kun's idea, though, really."
"N-No, it wasn't! Rangiku-san did just as much as I did!"
"He's lying, taichou!" Matsumoto shrieked happily. "You should have seen him scurrying all over the place and worrying over the smallest details. He really wanted to make you happy, you know."
"Again, Kurosaki-kun, thank you," Hitsugaya muttered shyly.
"There's nothing to thank me for, and, um, please. Call me Ichigo. 'Kurosaki-kun' is way too important for me."
"Thank you for offering, but I do not address people I respect by their first names."
Matsumoto grinned slyly, standing up. "Well," she announced, "I'm done here, and I'm going to tune out for the night. Besides, you two need your time alone together, ne?" She winked mischievously at Ichigo. "G'night, taichou, and see you later, Ichigo-kun."
There was an uncomfortable silence after Matsumoto left, her presence no longer there to be a safety cushion to fall back on if the awkwardness were to become overpowering.
"Um, Toshiro, er, no! I mean Hitsugaya-taichou…About earlier today, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you like I did, I was…"
"There's no need for you to explain," Hitsugaya replied quietly. "It was my own fault for not listening to you finish speaking first."
"No, no, I shouldn't have done that," Ichigo insisted. "I didn't know about what happened between you and that Sojiro guy back then, until Rangiku-san told me…" The words came out before he realized it. Crap. Matsumoto hadn't really been allowed to talk to him about it.
"Did she, now?"
"Er…"
"Don't worry," Hitsugaya murmured quietly, looking downwards at his hands, which were folded in his lap. "I've only asked her not to speak of it to others because it makes the other captains see me as weak and too fragile."
"There's nothing weak about having someone you value," Ichigo replied. "I mean, we're people. We feel things."
Hitsugaya let out a long sigh, placing his hand on the desktop. "I know," he answered. "It's not that I'm ashamed to talk about Kusaka. It's just that it…It's hard to. You have no idea how much it hurts, Kurosaki-kun. I was so happy, and…and then…Well, I don't suppose you want me to repeat the same story again, but I can't help but tell myself every day…He didn't have to die. I could have given up my zanpaku-to and my soul and died in his place. It was my entire fault…If only I hadn't been so pathetic, so selfish, so…so weak…"
"It's alright, Toshiro," Ichigo said in what he hoped was a reassuring voice, getting up from his seat and moving around the desk so he was next to Hitsugaya, then putting an arm around his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him. "I'm sure this is what he wanted. Don't worry about it, okay? I bet he'd be really happy to know that you're still alive and well…and…Aw, Toshiro! Don't cry!"
He reached out with his hand, softly stroking the young captain's cheek, dabbing away the solitary tear that had found its way past his dark lashes before putting his arms protectively around his body. "Everything's gonna be alright, okay? Please, Toshiro, please don't be upset about it."
"I-I'm so sorry, Kurosaki-kun…I shouldn't be talking about him…It's just that…it's…" Unable to hold his emotions in any longer, the boy buried his face in Ichigo's robes, his body trembling uncontrollably with silent sobs.
"Shh," Ichigo whispered, holding him close and running a hand through Hitsugaya's silvery-white locks. "It's okay, Toshiro. Just let it all out, alright? Everything's going to be okay, I promise you."
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Ichigo couldn't help but note that Hitsugaya hadn't scolded him for addressing him by his first name. That, he hoped, was a good sign.
"He died…He died because of me," Hitsugaya choked. "He allowed himself to be killed to protect me…So that I wouldn't have to suffer…I'm so pathetic, Kurosaki-kun. I shouldn't have let him do it, I should be the dead one…"
"Toshiro, it's fine, okay? I know exactly how you feel," Ichigo answered. "My mother, she was one hell of a woman. And you know what happened to her? She was killed by a hollow. She died trying to protect me. I still think about it all the time, and I still feel guilty for it, but you can't say things like you are now, okay? Sojiro died for you, and it would be disrespectful to complain about it, you know what I'm saying?"
"I suppose you're right," Hitsugaya muttered, dabbing the tears away from his face with the back of his sleeve. "I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun, I didn't mean to act like such a spoiled little brat."
"No, what you were doing was perfectly normal. It's not a bad thing to feel guilt, but just try not to dwell on it. Look, it's getting late…You should get some sleep. It wouldn't be good at all if you wake up exhausted tomorrow morning. I'll see you around, okay?"
With that said, Ichigo got up, and walked towards the door.
That was when the impulse hit him.
He turned back around, and without so much as a second thought, he boldly took Hitsugaya's hands in his own, pulling the boy close.
"Kurosaki-kun, what are you doing-"
Hitsugaya had no time to finish his statement, cut off abruptly by Ichigo pressing his lips tightly against his, sealing the gap that had previously separated them.
At that moment, everything seemed to disappear, everything seemed to float away, everything seemed so unearthly and so unreal. Hitsugaya's eyes widened in mute shock as he contemplated the strawberry's sudden and unexpected actions.
The moments moved slowly by before Hitsugaya pulled away, his cheeks tinged pink as he struggled slightly to catch his breath again.
"I…I'm so sorry," Ichigo spluttered, mortified. "I didn't…I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, and I…I…Oh, my god, I'm just so…Really, Toshiro, I'm sorry about that, and, ah…Uh, I'd better leave now..." Turning away hastily, his face bright red, Ichigo started for the door again, humiliated at his own foolishness.
"W-Wait, Kurosaki-kun!"
The orange-haired teen stopped, his heart pounding. "Yeah…?"
"Um," Hitsugaya mumbled shyly, looking down at the ground and fiddling with the hems of his kimono sleeves. "Well, it's just, um…I'd like to see you again, Kurosaki-kun."
Ichigo's embarrassment dissolved for a moment before a small grin made its way onto his face. "Yeah, you bet, Toshiro. I guess…I guess I'd like to see you again, too."
And with that, he made his leave, feeling very pleased and somewhat light-headed as well.