Dear Journal,
Left me hearties quite a mess to clean up. No, no. I didn't vomit all over the deck after I drank. I ran over to the side of the ship and vomited into the water, if you really must know. Actually, I was so drunk that I was doing acrobatics up by the crow's nest. Landed in a load of barrels and whatnot when I fell. Pieces of wood flew everywhere. I should start up a circus. You know, with people doing tricks with ropes and human pyramids and stuff that interests people. It'll need a fancy name, too, like...Cirque du Soleil! I dun' even know what language that's in, nevermind what it means. It has a nice little ring to it, though. Idea was prolly already taken, though.
"The French"or..."Thef Rench" keeps sailin' back n' forth infront of us! Next time those lunkheads sail near us they'll get such a behind kickin' that they'll kiss the moon and I can take their ship as my own. I'll have to change the name though. Gonna end up being the laughing stock of all the pirates in the world if I have a ship by the name of "Thef Rench"... "Thief Wrench"..."The French"...WHATEVER THE GODDAMNED SHIP IS CALLED!
Maybe I should name it "The White Pearl". I mean, I already have one called "The Black Pearl", so why not "The White Pearl? Or perhaps "The Pearly Pearl?" ( I can't tell you exactly what color Pearls are...I dunno what it is myself.) Or maybe "The Pearlinator?"..."Pearlorific?" That sounds...all right. It sounds like it'll make a better word, though. You know...
"How are you doing, Mr. Sparrow?"
"Pearlorific!!! And that's CAPTAIN Sparrow."
Nah. I'd just sound like an idiot if I said "Pearlorific!!!" Guess what? I have another idea. I could make money off o' this one, though. I'll sell the charcoal that I use to line my eyes! (Yes, that IS charcoal. Quite dangerous if you take a piece from a burning fireplace or if you get one from a blacksmith. You'll burn yer damned deadlights** out, and I'm speaking out of first-hand experience!) And I'll call that charcoal...Eyeliner. Brilliant! Brilliant! Jack Sparrow's Pearlorific Eyeliner! Whoo-hoo!
Alright, "The French"/"Thef Rench"/"Thief Rench" is really gettin' on me nerves. Either stay to the left or the right! Don't go zigzaggin' all over the damned Caribbean, mate!
Oy. I should really stop my swearing, aye? Lots of those Englishwomen find swearing a big turnoff. Then again, Englishwomen are so hard to please.
Word of the Day: Pearlorific!
Lesson of the Day: Don't swear, especially infront of Englishwomen
~Jack Sparrow
**Deadlights: Piratical term for "eyes"
Left me hearties quite a mess to clean up. No, no. I didn't vomit all over the deck after I drank. I ran over to the side of the ship and vomited into the water, if you really must know. Actually, I was so drunk that I was doing acrobatics up by the crow's nest. Landed in a load of barrels and whatnot when I fell. Pieces of wood flew everywhere. I should start up a circus. You know, with people doing tricks with ropes and human pyramids and stuff that interests people. It'll need a fancy name, too, like...Cirque du Soleil! I dun' even know what language that's in, nevermind what it means. It has a nice little ring to it, though. Idea was prolly already taken, though.
"The French"or..."Thef Rench" keeps sailin' back n' forth infront of us! Next time those lunkheads sail near us they'll get such a behind kickin' that they'll kiss the moon and I can take their ship as my own. I'll have to change the name though. Gonna end up being the laughing stock of all the pirates in the world if I have a ship by the name of "Thef Rench"... "Thief Wrench"..."The French"...WHATEVER THE GODDAMNED SHIP IS CALLED!
Maybe I should name it "The White Pearl". I mean, I already have one called "The Black Pearl", so why not "The White Pearl? Or perhaps "The Pearly Pearl?" ( I can't tell you exactly what color Pearls are...I dunno what it is myself.) Or maybe "The Pearlinator?"..."Pearlorific?" That sounds...all right. It sounds like it'll make a better word, though. You know...
"How are you doing, Mr. Sparrow?"
"Pearlorific!!! And that's CAPTAIN Sparrow."
Nah. I'd just sound like an idiot if I said "Pearlorific!!!" Guess what? I have another idea. I could make money off o' this one, though. I'll sell the charcoal that I use to line my eyes! (Yes, that IS charcoal. Quite dangerous if you take a piece from a burning fireplace or if you get one from a blacksmith. You'll burn yer damned deadlights** out, and I'm speaking out of first-hand experience!) And I'll call that charcoal...Eyeliner. Brilliant! Brilliant! Jack Sparrow's Pearlorific Eyeliner! Whoo-hoo!
Alright, "The French"/"Thef Rench"/"Thief Rench" is really gettin' on me nerves. Either stay to the left or the right! Don't go zigzaggin' all over the damned Caribbean, mate!
Oy. I should really stop my swearing, aye? Lots of those Englishwomen find swearing a big turnoff. Then again, Englishwomen are so hard to please.
Word of the Day: Pearlorific!
Lesson of the Day: Don't swear, especially infront of Englishwomen
~Jack Sparrow
**Deadlights: Piratical term for "eyes"