Chapter 2 – Beauty and the cutie

Dot slammed the tower door open and marched into her room growling. She plumped onto her bed and punched her pillow. She had never been so angry in her life! How could Wakko have won that survey? It was as preposterous as Yakko being quiet for five seconds! Surely, she should've won! It was so unfair! And the results were ridiculous! Who would vote so much for Wakko of all people?

Suddenly, Dot began to hate Wakko with all her heart. That stupid, tongue flashing, Liverpool-accented moron! How dared he? He knew how sensitive she was about her looks! Being her brother and all. Yet, he still got away with it! Dot punched through the air and screamed. Why? Why did he do this? Why couldn't he just have continued to be called 'wacky'? Now he was referred to as 'the cute one'. It was a horrible thought. What if people would stop complimenting Dot on her looks? Some day, maybe she wouldn't be considered cute at all! All because of him!

Dot heard the tower door creak open, even if it didn't usually creak. She assumed her brothers to be home. Well, she was not in the mood to see them right now. Especially Wakko! That boy could eat his own tail for all she cared! He could do it anyway, having that killer appetite and a garbage disposal for a stomach. Dot sunk her head into her pillow and screamed her lungs out. Doing that didn't help. It only caused Yakko to come to the doorway.

"Dot?" he said calmly. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Dot growled. "I'm totally fine! What should I be? Pissed? Not a chance!!"

Yakko backed a little. He clearly didn't expect such a harsh reply. He slowly walked inside Dot's room. Since she didn't say anything, he assumed it would be okay to sit down on her bed. "Listen, I know you're not satisfied, but don't you think you're giving Wakko a hard time? After all, he wasn't in charge of the survey, was he?"

"No way," Dot said coldly as she sat up as well. "I'm just behaving like I should. I'm angry, I'm furious and I'm enraged! And who cares if Wakko wasn't in charge of the survey? That doesn't make him any less guilty! I hate him!"

"No you don't," said Yakko. "You're just having a tantrum now. In a few hours, everything will be fine. I know you well enough to be sure that you'd never hate him."

"Well, you knew wrong, didn't you?" Dot growled while trying her best not to shout at Yakko. He was making her more and more irritated.

Yakko moved closer to Dot and put his arm on her shoulders. "No, I didn't. I know you better than anyone, Dot. I mean, come on. We were locked up in a water tower for sixty years. Sure I know you. And I know Wakko. He's not the person who's proud of being 'the cute one'. He's just wacko. You're cute, and you know it. It's just a survey, you don't have to take it so hard."

Dot could take it no longer. She shoved Yakko's arm off her shoulders and pushed him away from her. "Stop pretending to be my dad!! You're not the boss of me! Now be a good brother and leave me alone!!"

"Wha--wha--what--what the . . . ?" Yakko stammered. "What's gotten into you, Dot? I was only trying to make you feel better. I'm not pretending to be anyone. Come on, stop being so mean. What did I do? It's not like I won the cutie contest or anything. I'm just trying to be supportive. You don't seem to apprecia--"

Before Yakko could finish his sentence, Dot did something to surprise both him and herself: she slapped him. "I can't believe you won't shut up!!! Do me a favour and zip it, yakker!! I've had enough of you!! Both you and mister 'cute one'!!"

Yakko merely rubbed his cheek – the spot on his face where Dot had slapped him. He was shocked. "Whoa. No need to play Naomi Campbell here!"

"I told you to shut up!" Dot shouted. "Now get the heck out of my room!!"

She didn't have to say that twice. Yakko immediately sprang out of the room, his hand still placed on his cheek. When he had left, Dot lay down on her bed again. No one seemed to understand how she felt. Not even her own brother. He was all talk, no sympathy. Who was she kidding? All Yakko did was yak, after all.

Then, it hit her. The only person who had been nice to her the entire day!

Dot jumped out of her bed and ran out of her room. When she was about to go outside the tower, she eyed Wakko. He had the usual tongue-expression on his face and didn't seem to see Dot. She growled and went outside thinking: "Jerk . . . "

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When Dot stepped into the psychiatry office, the beautiful nurse behind the desk rose up in her seat and greeted her.

"Hey Dot," she said. "Are you any better now?"

"I wouldn't count on that," Dot said as she walked towards the desk. "Yakko just gave me his big brother-speech but I can't say it made me feel any better. If anything, it made me angrier. I even ended up slapping him."

"Wow," said Hello Nurse. "You must be pretty darn pissed, huh?"

"Pissed?" said Dot. "I'm furious!"

"I totally understand," said Hello Nurse. "There's nothing worse in this world than to be turned down because of your looks. Been there, done that."

Dot's eyes widened. "You've had the same experience?"

"Technically, yes," said Hello Nurse. "This once, I was sent to a beauty contest. I didn't really want to, but many said I looked so naturally beautiful. I loved compliments like that. The judges in the contest even said to the contestants that they relied more on natural beauty than make-up, botox and stuff like that. Some of them even said I was most likely to win. Almost every other girl had had at least one plastic surgery, but I hadn't even so much as dyed my hair. Anyway, when the contest was to be held, I thought for sure I'd win. There were so many out there who thought so too, and I was relying on their votes, as well as the judges. But in the end, Addio Daktaras turned out to be the winner. And you know what? She looked the most fake. She had fake tan, fake eyelashes, fake breasts, and her face looked awful because of plastic surgeries. As for me, I ended up in eleventh place of fourteen. Ironic isn't it?"

"Oh my gosh!" said Dot. "That's so unfair! Why didn't you protest?"

"I couldn't have done anything anyway," said Hello Nurse. "But at one time, I was actually considering to sleep with one of the judges, just to get at least into third place. But thankfully, I didn't. I realized that beauty contests were just like Addio Daktaras: fake. But the backstab will follow me to my grave."

"I don't know what to say," said Dot. "I never thought you were so sensitive too. I always thought you could get whatever you wanted because you're so beautiful."

Hello Nurse giggled. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"I mean it!" said Dot. "You're probably the most gorgeous girl of all!"

"Wow, I'm flattered," said Hello Nurse and smiled. "Come to think of it, I've never heard what you think about me. It's always just your brothers' 'Hellooooooooooo nurse!!' and nothing from you. Is this really what you think?"

"Absolutely!" said Dot. "I'm even starting to lose my self-confidence just standing in front of you. You're so perfect. I'm beginning to envy you even more."

"Oh, I know that feeling," said Hello Nurse. "Standing beside an American actress is a nightmare! They all look so perfect, even more than that. Some of them have the greatest personality too."

"You sure have a lot of experience for a toon," said Dot.

"Which reminds me: have you ever heard of Jessica Rabbit?" said Hello Nurse.

"Heck, yeah!" said Dot. "Wow, she looks too good to exist! Sometimes, I wish I had her looks."

Hello Nurse cleared her throat and blushed. "She's my cousin."

"Oh," said Dot and blushed as well. "Heh, sorry. I didn't mean to say that."

"It's okay. I get it all the time," said Hello Nurse and smiled once again. "But I was going to say that many people think that she's just one of the slutty toons in the world. The typical mean witch with no feelings. But looks don't say everything about a person, even if it's a toon. Jessica is a great example for that. I mean, she's not really a bad girl; she's just drawn that way. When 'Who framed Roger Rabbit?' was premiered, everyone thought she'd use the opportunity and flash a photographer or something. How silly is that? Can't a girl look good without being considered a slut? It's so ridiculous!"

"Tell me about it," said Dot. She and Hello Nurse were making really good friends! Who'd thought?

"But that survey tops everything! Or should I say: it's the bottom of everything," said Hello Nurse. "I read it just before you came earlier today, and I was shocked. Did you see the gap between you and Wakko? It was so freaky. When I saw that he had won, I thought there was going to be a 0,009 percent gap between you two. It was just . . . I don't even know what to say."

"Why did he have to win in the first place?" Dot said angrily. "I hate him! He's such a player! I wish he wasn't my brother. If he wasn't, I wouldn't have to see him every day! What's so cute about him anyway? If anything, he's the less cutest of all of us. He burps like a vulture, he bathes once every three months, he always has his tongue out, and to top it off: he doesn't wear any pants! Argh! I could just hit him on the head with his own mallet!"

"Don't you think you're going a bit to far?" said Hello Nurse, trying to calm Dot down. "It's not like he did anything. Just because he won the survey, it doesn't mean he was behind it from the start."

"Don't take his side!" Dot said threateningly. "I don't mean to be a suck-up, but you're the only one who seems to understand me. We've never been really close – I'm fully aware of that – but now that I think about it, we have so much in common!"

"You know what? You're right," said Hello Nurse. "We do have a lot in common. Especially when it comes to looks. You're known as the cute one and I'm known as the hot one." She paused. "Okay, that did not come out selfishly!"

The two shared a laugh. Hello Nurse was a much greater person than Dot ever thought she was. She was absolutely right. Too many were judged by their looks. But still: Wakko?

"Why do you think people picked Wakko and not me?" Dot had to ask.

"I haven't the slightest idea," said Hello Nurse. "Maybe it's his accent, or his voice, or his way of solving things, or his endless hunger, or his few lines . . . I can't tell. I didn't take part in the survey, you know. But if I had, I definitely would have chosen you."

"Thanks," said Dot and flashed the cutest smile she could think of. Suddenly, she had a little thought. "Do you think there's any way I can become cuter?"

"What?" said Hello Nurse, quite startled. "I . . . I don't know. I mean, I know loads of beauty tips, but cutie tips? That's not really my specialty."

"Oh come on," said Dot and put on her puppy eyes. "Surely you know something. And if you don't, I'll just use your beauty tips. After all, I'm going to have to be beautiful any time soon. Please?"

Hello Nurse sighed. "Okay, I'll give you the list. First of all, there's good skin care. But since you have fur, I don't think that's necessary. Second, there's good body figure. The number one key to that is eating healthy and exercising every once in a while, or perhaps every day. A good tan is always a good tip, but your fur kind of bashes that one. Nice clothes always do the trick. They don't have to be tight, just look good on you. Um . . . " Hello Nurse thought for a while. "God, there are so high limits for beauty. You have to be this tall, this skinny, this tanned, this well dressed; it's so confusing. But if you're desperate enough, we can start going to the gym together. What do you think of that?"

"I'm not too young?" said Dot.

"No, silly," said Hello Nurse and giggled. "Even if you are, you can still go. Remember, you're a cartoon star. And a mighty cute one," she added and winked.

"Okay, I'm ready," said Dot. "When are we going?"

"Well, I can go first thing in the morning if that's okay with you," said Hello Nurse. "How about seven thirty?"

"Isn't that a bit early?" said Dot. "I need my cutie sleep, after all."

"The earlier you start exercising, the better," said Hello Nurse. "We could go an hour later if you want to. I'm okay with that. I'm just used to going so early."

"No, we're not changing your system," said Dot. "Seven thirty it is. Can you come to the tower when you're ready? I'll make sure the boys aren't up if that's a problem."

"Okay," said Hello Nurse. "I'll see you in the morning, then?"

"You bet," said Dot and turned to leave. "We'll live healthy, right?"

"Totally!" said Hello Nurse and did a thumb up.

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When Dot climbed up the ladder to the tower, she began to feel a pang of conscience. Not towards Wakko, though, but because she had slapped Yakko earlier. She wondered what he would say when he saw her. Would he begin to avoid her too because of that? Or would he let it pass by and pretend like nothing had happened? Dot had reached the balcony before she could finish either of those thoughts. She opened the door carefully and tiptoed inside, trying to sneak inside the tower without her brothers noticing. It didn't work.

"Dot! Where were you?" Yakko said as he came practically running towards Dot. "You didn't tell me you were leaving! I was beginning to worry so much about you! Okay, maybe not that much, but still."

"I went out," said Dot, somewhat happy that Yakko had forgiven her about the slap. "And I'm sorry how I acted earlier. I was angry."

"That's okay," said Yakko. "I was kinda sure what the problem was. But what did you do? You left in rage, but here you are, fine as can be. Where did you go?"

"I went to see Hello Nurse," said Dot.

"And you didn't tell me?" said Yakko, looking insulted.

"Please, Yakko. If I'd taken you along, Wakko would have to come too," said Dot. "Anyway, I think Hello Nurse and I have become great friends. She even gave me some of her beauty tips. She's more fun than she looks."

"Dot, her looks are all that matters," said Yakko with a dreamy look on his face. "I can't believe she needs beauty tips. She's so perfect, so smooth, so pretty, so . . . " He sighed with delight.

-Boys, go fig-

"Where's Wakko?" Dot asked. "Is he anywhere near us?"

"Dot, you have to get over this Wakko-hatred," said Yakko, snapping out if his (dirty?) daydreams about Hello Nurse. "And yeah, he's here. But I don't think you have to look at him. He's avoiding you like clowns."

"I suppose that's cute, huh?" Dot said sarcastically. "Fear of clowns is always adorable. Geez! I shouldn't have come back here. When I was with Hello Nurse, I stopped thinking about Wakko completely. I'm going to my room."

"Okay, you do that," said Yakko. "Just don't throw another tantrum, all right?" he added and smiled kindly.

Just seeing how nice Yakko was made Dot feel a heavier pang of conscience. He was so nice to her. She regretted that slap so bad! But what's done is done, so she went to her room like she said.

Meanwhile, Yakko scanned the tower for any trace of his brother. "Wakko, it's safe to come out now. She's gone to her room."

"Are you sure?" Yakko heard Wakko say. "She's not planning to come out of there when she knows I'm out too?"

"I'm sure," said Yakko. "Just come out, okay? I could talk to you like this, but I feel like a crazy person when I just talk to a voice."

In a flash, a small bag appeared next to Yakko, and out of it peeked only a head. The red cap was placed so low on it; Yakko could barely see its eyes. "You're not fooling me, are you?"

Yakko groaned. He then grabbed the head and pulled Wakko out of the gag bag. "When is this stupid avoiding going to stop? You know you're going to have to talk to her again sooner or later."

"Yeah, but I just can't do it now," said Wakko. "She hates me too much. I'm not going to push her into doing anything. She'll just have to come to me when she's ready."

"Suit yourself," said Yakko. "But before you say anything else, let me tell you that I'm not going to be your messenger. If you want to ask her something, or the opposite, you're going to have to do it yourselves."

"Fine," said Wakko. "It's not like I have much to say to her. I mean, I didn't plan the results, did I? She hasn't got a reason to avoid me at all. I didn't do anything. She should be hating the voters!"

"I agree with you," said Yakko. "But it's Dot we're talking about. If her name doesn't appear in the same paragraph as the word 'cute', she'll snap. You know that just as much as me."

"I guess," Wakko sighed. "I'm still wondering why people voted for me, though. What's so cute about me?"

Yakko shrugged. "Don't ask me. I didn't score very high, you know."

"Yeah, but 69 percent against eighteen?" said Wakko. "It's so fishy. I can't help but think that some voters were mentally disturbed."

"Don't talk like that, Wakko," said Yakko. "You sound like a researcher!"

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I don't have a very good figure, Dot thought while looking at her body figure in a mirror. I should have started thinking about the whole image long ago. It's always the face for me. Maybe that's why I didn't win the survey. Maybe I'm not hot enough. Come to think of it, I do look a little chubby on the edges. And just look at my chest. It's flatter than a labtop!

Listen to what you're thinking! said another voice in Dot's head. You're only seven years old! You're not supposed to have a chest! Your figure looks fine! So what if you're a little chubby? That's sometimes what makes a character the cutest!

Dot scuffed. She wasn't going to listen to her conscience anymore. The only person she was going to listen to was Hello Nurse. She knew best how to look good. If they hung out, maybe Dot would grow a little more mature body. Maybe she would even lose some weight as well.

Dot couldn't wait until the next morning.

A/N: For those who were wondering (I doubt many), Addio Daktaras is sort of a parody of Hello Nurse's name. Addio means goodbye in Italian, and Daktaras means doctor in Lithuanian. Hello Nurse – Goodbye Doctor . . . get it?

. . . okay, that wasn't funny . . .