The Gun and the Guitar
Chapter 8: Take Me Far, Far Away
By the time the sun started to rise in Kyoto, K was smashed. But, he had calmed down enough to come to a few conclusions. One, he realized he was utterly in love with Hiro. But he knew he also had to let him go. Two, the younger man had his whole life ahead of him and he didn't want to be the obstruction that stood in his way. Ayaka was good for him, she was beautiful and around Hiro's age—K decided he had no choice but to be cool about it. And three, he was going to focus on making Bad Luck the best fucking band he could!
Devastatingly tired, K returned to his room and crashed on his bed in a sprawl. In seconds, he was fast asleep on top of the bedcovers still fully clothed, shoes and all.
Hiro heard K's hotel door open and close when the blonde returned. The brunette hadn't slept a wink last night as he laid in his bed worrying and replaying the part where K pointed his gun at him. His eyes were so cold, his voice so angry... He'd really meant it. Hiro almost ran up to the door in thoughts of trying to talk to the man again, but some ungodly force stopped him. Now was not the time, K must be really tired and there was no point bugging him now. Feeling more relaxed, knowing K was safe and close by, Hiro could let his eyes drift close. He swiftly fell asleep.
Hours later and Kyoto much quieter now that the concert shindig was over, Bad Luck sat down to brunch, Ryuichi included. Hiro, working on only a few hours sleep, stared off into space not even touching his food or listening to the excited conversation of the concert the night before.
"Hiro, what's wrong?" Shuichi asked, looking really concerned at his best friend this morning.
"Huh?" Hiro grunted.
"I asked what is wrong with you. You're off in space and you have circles under your eyes," Shuichi enlightened his best friend.
"Didn't sleep much," Hiro replied tiredly, but added, "Must have been too hyped up from the concert."
Shuichi glanced worriedly at Yuki. But Yuki only shrugged and looked away, he knew Hiro was lying. What exactly had happened with K last night, Eiri wondered. Probably some stupid lovers quarrel.
"So, how was your visit with Ayaka?" Shuichi continued to investigate.
"It was fine, she's getting married," Hiro said simply.
"But—what?!" cried Shuichi.
"Don't worry, I'm cool about it…things just didn't work out between us," Hiro explained calmly.
The group all looked at Hiro with mouths hanging open.
Shuichi was looking sadly at Hiro, "Man, I'm so sorry…"
"Aww, then Ayaka doesn't deserve Hiro," Ryuichi said.
Hiro smiled softly, "I'm not that broken up about it." He shrugged. "Let's just have fun on our tour, ok?"
Shuichi nodded.
"Good morning!" sang someone in English.
Everyone's head glanced over to see K headed towards their table, looking perfectly happy and chipper.
Hiro studied K's face, but the man was avoiding his eyes.
"It's more like afternoon," Yuki said, glancing up at the blonde, he added smartly, "Aren't we happy and gay this morning." He could tell right away that K was putting on false bravado.
K cast him a silent warning with a quick flash of his sapphire eyes.
Ryuichi set dubious eyes on K.
"K, you're not going to be taken away for murder, are you?!" Shuichi asked after hearing about K's outburst in his hotel room from Hiro. "What will happen to our tour? We need you!"
Laughing, K waved his hand casually and said, "Oh, that. There was a spider in my room." He shrugged. "I hate spiders," he lied and pulled up a seat beside Suguru and Sakano.
Confused looks passed around the table, but no one said anything.
Hiro was watching K and wondering why he was making shit up! In fact everyone knew he was making that up, but what could they say? After the man flipped his lid last night, no one wanted to be the next person in the crosshairs. Hiro watched as everyone continued with their meal in silence. He sat there for at least ten minutes and K didn't even look at him once. Not even a glance! Hot, confused tears prickled behind his eyelids, Hiro tried to blink them back quickly before anyone noticed, but they weren't going to stop. He got up fast, knocking over someone's coffee, and excused himself with a hurried mumble.
He walked quickly to the stairwell knowing he'd never make it to his room in time, and tears he could not stop, ran down his face. Why was K being like this towards him? He swiped at his eyes in frustration and pain. What did I do? More tears streamed over his cheeks, he'd thought he was really falling in love with K. He huffed over his ridiculous tears, it seemed so crazy! But it was true…he had fallen for that man! His stupid, crazy-assed manager…he was in love with him.
But now K didn't seem to want anything to do with him.
Hiro wasn't wrong. The entire trip back to Tokyo, K ignored him.
It was really late by the time Hiro entered his street-level apartment. He'd spent the rest of the day in Kyoto doing interviews and photo shoots with Bad Luck. They even did an hour radio show with Nittle Grasper in company, and Shuichi and Ryuichi sang their duet again impromptu.
Now it was all over.
He flopped onto his couch in an emotional, drained heap. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so fucked up, lousy. All he could think about was K, and what the hell could've happened. Maybe all he had to do was be patient.
Two days later K came into the studio early, when it was only Hiro there. Suguru and Shuichi had yet to arrive and begin working on tracking their new song. Hiro was plucking at his guitar; tuning it, a cigarette dangling from his lip…he didn't even realize K was standing there watching him.
K cleared his throat.
The cigarette fell from Hiro's lips when he looked up at K. "Oh…I, shit," Hiro muttered and got off the seat to pick up his smoke. He pulled a drag off the thing again and eyed K silently, and with hurt.
"Look," K started coolly, unable to look at Hiro's face as he spoke, "I'm sorry for not talking to you sooner. Heh, I guess I didn't know how to say it." He crossed his arms in a very stand-offish way, "Things just couldn't have worked out between us. Congratulations Hiro…"
Huh? "K, what are you—"
K held up his hand, "I can't take advantage…please, just forget about it."
With that K turned on his heel and left the room. Hiro stood there blinking as if in slow motion, his heart breaking. He sank to the chair again, sat there, his eyes still on the door.
What the hell was he congratulating him for?!
"Bastard…"
In the weeks that followed, NG had prepped a lot for their upcoming tour and tied up any loose ends. Bad Luck made appearances on many music specials and radio shows, photo sessions, meet-and-greets, but only a few concerts. K had them busy; it seemed a bit more busy than usual though. His explanation was that he wanted them to get as much coverage about their tour as possible.
The duet Shuichi and Ryuichi sang caused one of the biggest musical buzzes Japan had ever seen. Ryuichi and Shuichi performed it on television and it was revealed that a video was going to be made while on tour.
The media world ate it up!
It came down to the final days before they were supposed to leave, but Hiro's heart wasn't into it any more. He still hadn't recovered from his broken ties with K. He felt so betrayed. The man acted as if nothing between them ever happened! And he totally ignored him. That alone made Hiro feel even worse. But he couldn't bring himself to talk to K about it, to bring it up again, re-open the wounds…he wasn't even sure how. K had just brushed him aside like dirt on the floor. And Shuichi wouldn't stop harassing him about why he seemed so sad and angry lately.
A few times, he actually found himself snapping at his band members and being completely audacious.
Sometimes, Hiro had to wonder if K was putting on an act, as if to convince himself that what they shared meant absolutely nothing. There were times K didn't seem himself either. Often everyone had to repeat themselves to K as he seemed to be off on another planet, he wasn't like that before. And the man was definitely more trigger happy then usual too which made the band increasingly tense. Then there were times he felt he was being watched, but when he looked around, there was no one.
Was he just imagining all this? Hiro had to stop torturing himself. He had to get over it!
But he didn't want to let go…
He'd fallen so hard…
The day before they were to depart for Toronto, the guitarist went to visit his family. He went not only to see them before he left, but to search for some comfort.
He didn't find what he was looking for exactly.
His brother Yuji pestered him about his tetchiness, but Hiro didn't think his brother would understand. His parents spent more time fretting about the tour, than giving him their approval. They fussed about foreign countries, how not to drink the water and to be careful not to get bit by strange bugs. About how not to look weirdo's in the eye and to always be polite.
Hiro groaned, but he smiled too and assured them he'd be fine.
His father never quite agreed with his decision to play in a band in the first place, but he eventually came to accept it. And seeing as his son was part of a very popular band, not just some fly on a pub wall, he offered his good tidings.
And then they did the next best thing. They asked about Ayaka…
He explained to them what happened in Kyoto and they sat there in silence. His father shook his head and looked at him as if he was to blame! His mother came and hugged him, telling him he really should think of getting a real job one day.
Man, if he thought he'd feel better after his visit home he was sadly mistaken! Now he felt like a failure…
With a heavy heart Hiro packed his stuff bright and early. He was just pulling on his jeans, when he heard the horn of the airport limo outside. Scrambling, he shrugged on his dark jean jacket, put on his runners, slapped on his shades, grabbed his stuff and ran outside. The car took him to the airport where he was going to meet everyone else.
Now, he sat in a secure terminal waiting for their flight to begin boarding. Not only was Bad Luck here but Nittle Grasper as well, everyone dressed in disguise.
Hiro felt like he was going on some kind of school trip, rather than a tour. Everyone else was noisy and excited, like children. Ryuichi was unable to sit still and danced around the seats, Shuichi in tow. Suguru was yammering happily with his cousin, who sat next to a bored looking Yuki. And Sakano was seated next to K, across from him, reading from a book and giving orders about how to address Canadian's and their customs.
"You don't have to bow over there," he advised, "You say, 'Hey, how's it going?' or 'Yo, what's up?' or if you want to know where the washrooms are just ask, 'Where's the can?' Hey did you know they have streets there paved in gold!"
K grabbed the book Sakano was reading from and gave it a studious look. "Canada's Guide to Slang and other Interesting Facts?" K disclosed incredulously. He began to laugh heartily and looked at the page from which Sakano was reading from, "They don't have streets paved in gold, there is one street with specks of gold in it and that is in the city of Yellowknife, North West Territories! A town very far from where we're going. The country is bigger than the U.S." K put the book down, "Come on, just act like yourselves…Toronto is a cool place."
"I hear Toronto is vastly multicultural," Noriko put forth, "They like foreigners."
"But I heard they hunt baby seals and that it's where the polar bears live," Suguru offered.
"That's disgusting," Noriko moaned.
Hiro was vaguely listening to this conversation. He would have liked to inform them that it was the Inuit that mostly caught and fed off seals, baby or otherwise. And that the killing of baby seals was very looked down upon, according to North American people. He also, like K, knew that these animals lived very far north of the city they were going to and would probably never, in their life time, see that part of the world.
But he didn't feel like correcting them. It was kind of funny to just listen instead.
He was wearing a tiny smile when he realized K was gazing his way, absently playing with his blond hair. The smile left Hiro's face. Hiro couldn't see K's eyes because they were covered with his trusty sunglasses, same as his. Inside, his throat constricted and his lungs refused him air as he stared back at his previous lover.
For a moment, K's lips curved into a soft dreamy-like smile, he looked as if in a trance. Was he imagining things or was perhaps K thinking about him? But as if realizing what he was doing, K's hand froze and he slapped it down on his thigh. He got up quickly and went to read the arrival-departure board. Hiro watched him, clenching his jaw in resentment.
Ryuichi was watching this in silence.
The commercial flight was a series of events in itself. Ryuichi was in seat yelling over heads to talk to Shuichi and Tohma was tugging Ryuichi back to sit down.
"Kumagoro wants to talk to Shuichi!" Nittle Graspers vocalist whined.
"You're making everyone uncomfortable. Some people hate flying and want quiet Ryuichi," explained Tohma, "Pretend we're in a library." He sighed when Ryuichi started using the back of the chair in front of him as a stage for Kumagoro's antics.
"Hello pretty stewardess, Sakuma wants a soda," Ryuichi said using his puppet to talk to the tall red-headed flight attendant as she walked by.
The woman looked at Ryuichi and gasped, "You're…you're Ryuichi Sakuma!" she cried and ceremoniously, fainted.
Tohma groaned and watched K jump out of his seat to fan the stewardess. "Now, Ryuichi," he chastised, "Don't be making all the attendants faint or they'll turn the plane around." The woman began to wake up and K helped her up as fellow attendants came to her aid.
They all squealed when they saw Ryuichi.
Shuichi was laughing loudly in his seat at this fiasco with the attendants. A few turned to look.
"Oh my goodness! It's Shindou Shuichi!" a few cried.
Soon the people on board began chattering and craning around in their seats to find out what was going on. The din on the plane increased in volume when the word spread that Nittle Grasper and Bad Luck joined them on this flight.
"Someone save us," moaned Hiro, who was watching everything and shaking his head.
One elderly woman wondered to her husband, "I wonder if they could sing us a song?"
Shuichi overheard that and jumped up, "Let's sing them a song!" Damn, if there were old people that knew who they were then that made them fans too!
K looked over at him sharply, in all the time he spent with Bad Luck, Shuichi never failed to surprise him. He watched Ryuichi stand up too, nodding in agreement.
It became a snowball effect; soon everyone was cheering them on.
"Wait a second before you sing anything…" said another stewardess who came from the cockpit and stood in front of Shuichi, "The captain thinks you should use the announcement microphone."
"Alright!" cheered Shuichi and tugged on Hiro's arm, "Get your guitar, Hiro!"
Blinking in surprise, Hiro grabbed his guitar. It was something he refused to let be stored with the luggage, so he uncased it and followed Shuichi to the front.
Excited patrons looked on at the unexpected free entertainment. K just sat down, a grin on his face as he watched Shuichi, Ryuichi and Hiro file to the front of the plane. Tohma was chuckling, and Sakano wrung his tie, Suguru looked a little left out and Noriko looked astounded.
K could just see the headlines tomorrow—what awesome free publicity. The entire world would know they were coming!
It was a crazy flight to Toronto as they performed thirty thousand feet in the air.
When the plane landed in Toronto's Pearson Airport, it was night time. It was also as if they'd gone back in time, because it was no longer Tuesday morning, but Monday night, eleven o'clock to be precise. Arranged limos were waiting to take each group straight to their hotel, The Metropolitan—right in the heart of the entertainment district.
As they drove down the Gardiner, Shuichi exclaimed, "Wow! Look at that tower. I want to up that! Can we go up that?" He was enthralled with the city's main attraction.
Everyone looked at the tower in question, except Yuki, who felt his stomach flop at the thought of going up the little elevators that damn high.
"Sure you can go up there. They have a restaurant; a viewing deck and god know what else. It's next to a stadium but I forget the name, they play sports there and have rock concerts," K informed them.
"The Rogers Center," Hiro blurted out, he'd been doing a little reading…
K flashed a look at Hiro.
"Are we gonna play there?" Suguru wondered.
But K was still watching Hiro.
Hiro crossed his arms and glared back.
"Hello!" Suguru wailed at K, "Are we gonna play there?"
K jerked his head at Suguru, "Uh…I dunno."
Everyone became quiet for a moment. Instead, they looked around at everything as they got off the highway. The car drove down a street that had rail tracks in the middle, cars parked on both sides of the street, it was congested with vehicles, tons of people wandered up and down the sidewalks, and there were shops everywhere. There were grungy looking neighbourhoods, then posh looking. Every culture they could fathom intermingled in some way here.
"Oh, look! That sign says "Fashion District", I wanna come here!" Shuichi declared.
"It's pretty close to our hotel," Hiro explained to his friend.
Shuichi let out a silent, "Yay!"
Suddenly a roaring streetcar drove past them and so close to the car.
"So that's what those tracks are for," Sakano muttered. "They are really quite behind in public transit technology."
"For sure," K muttered. It was nothing like Japan. "But there's a subway and buses too."
At a red light, Shuichi gawked out the window and announced, "There's a naked woman standing in the window of that shop!"
All heads turned towards said shop.
"Just when you think you've seen everything," K murmured. "And naked…"
The light changed to green and everyone watched the real mannequin, until they could no longer.
"I like this city," revealed Suguru much to his own shock. He blushed.
Hiro chuckled dryly. "Interesting…" he mused.
Finally, they pulled up to the front entrance of an enormous building. There was a man in a fancy gold-buttoned coat, wearing white gloves, waiting to take their luggage up to each of their rooms. Everyone followed him inside the lobby and the front desk.
"Just sit tight for a minute, I'll get your keys," K told them and wandered off.
Bad Luck took a seat in the comfy cream leather sofas, eyes roaming non-stop. Pretty décor, beautiful lighting, gigantic pieces of art, a fountain…the eye candy was everywhere! This was one awesome hotel!
Hiro noticed a few people were looking at them, he wondered what they thought—them, a bunch of flashy looking Asians with coloured hair. Did they know they were famous musicians from Japan?
But the group moved along quietly.
"Hey, this isn't so bad, I bet we can walk down the street and not be mauled to—" K suddenly thrust a keycard in front of him. "Err, thanks," he said barely above a whisper.
Nittle Grasper showed up moments later.
Ryuichi walked into the lobby claiming loudly, "This city is soo cool at night! All the lights! I wanna go up that tower!"
"Me too!" Shuichi said.
"We have a whole week to be tourists, but then we have to do some work," Tohma told them. "Remember, this isn't just a vacation."
"Let's check out our rooms and get our shit together first," K ordered.
"But, I don't feel tired yet," whined Shuichi.
"You can do whatever you want, but rooms first," he said. "Just don't go and get lost."
Hiro was more than happy to go to his room. He just wanted some peace instead of running off into the city right now. Maybe he was feeling the lag of travel, so entered his immaculate urban-styled room. It was definitely different from any other rooms, he thought as he sat on the biggest bed he'd ever seen. It had a mountain of white pillows and a brown coloured backboard that reminded him of a Hershey's chocolate bar. There was this fancy taupe coloured lounge chair and pine wainscoting on the walls, the lighting was soft, there was a flat screen T.V, and a big-ass bathroom with a jet bathtub. There was even a vase with two red calla lilies by the bed.
He felt like a king!
Kicking off his shoes, and tossing his jacket on the chair, he flopped on his bed and flicked on the television. But the thing spewed nothing but English. He flipped through the stations and stopped on one of many music channels. He stared at the musicians on the show. They were so grunge, in shaggy pants and printed tee's, they were also diverse. Each genre of music came with its own style of clothes, hair and body language—like anywhere else. He found himself submerged in this and watched, listening to North American music and the sounds of their guitars.
Then there was a knock on the door and Hiro's heart jumped to his throat. K? He ran to the door and found Shuichi standing there. "Hey buddy, what's up?"
"Hiro, we have come thousands of miles, to new city and you're going out with me!" Shuichi insisted. "Get your jacket and let's go crash something."
But Hiro stood his ground. "I don't feel like it," he murmured quietly.
Shuichi stared at Hiro blankly. "Ok, I've had enough of this, Hiro!" he wailed, "You don't think I can tell that my best friend is depressed?! You've been acting like this ever since we left Kyoto…that was like a month ago! You never want to go out; you're so quiet, too quiet. TALK TO ME!!" screamed Shuichi, grabbing Hiro by his shirt collar.
Shuichi was hitting on a raw nerve. Hiro wasn't in the mood for this. He barked, "There is nothing to say!"
"You're lying! What happened with Ayaka, in Kyoto?" Shuichi demanded.
"Why do you keep asking me about her? Nothing happened! She only came to tell me she's getting married!" hollered Hiro, his frustrations coming out on Shuichi.
"Really…?" Shuichi said quietly, Hiro had to heartbroken but he was keeping it to himself. "I'm sorry to hear that Hiro, it must be hard."
"Why…I told you that I'm cool with it," Hiro bemoaned.
"STOP LYING HIROSHI!"
"I'M NOT!"
"If you don't start talking, I…I'm gonna hit you!"
"I dare you too!" Hiro growled.
Shuichi socked Hiro right in the face.
Hiro held his cheek with a hand, looking surprised at Shuichi. Without another word, Hiro pounced on him and they went at it. Kicking and punching and calling each other names. They barely heard the voices at the door that told them to stop.
The fighting friends didn't hear anything as they brawled. Shuichi bit Hiro making the guitarist holler, and Hiro grabbed a fistful of pink hair, Shuichi hollered.
But suddenly someone pulled them off of each other. "Break it up!" K demanded, holding a struggling Hiro who was red with anger.
Yuki held a still swinging Shuichi, "What's this all about? We could hear you from down the hall."
Hiro yanked himself viciously from K's grasp and fired daggers at him with his eyes. It was his fault, all his fault, for the way he felt! But he couldn't tell Shuichi! It was too embarrassing! He stood there panting and rubbing his jaw, continuing to glare at K.
"He's miserable and he won't talk! I can't stand it! Haven't you guys noticed anything? I just want you to enjoy yourself, Hiro," Shuichi clamoured, calming down and looking guilty for attacking his friend.
"So you just decided to hit it out of him?" Yuki asked, bewildered.
"Well…he dared me to," Shuichi moaned.
Everyone looked up Hiro and he simply lost it. "GET OUT!" he screamed at them, tears stinging behind his eyelids. "Everyone, just leave me alone!"
All three jumped at Hiro's outburst. Normally, he wasn't so loud and emotional. But now he was clearly pissed off. Seeing him this way unsettled Shuichi the most.
"I didn't mean to attack you, Hiro…."
Hiro just nodded and turned his back on them, waiting for them to leave.
Yuki looked at K and frowned. "I'll leave you to clean up the mess," the writer said with double meaning and hauled Shuichi off. "Come on, let Hiro cool off," he told him. They walked back to their room.
Hrmph, K thought, Yuki's words repeating in his mind. Hiro turned back around and K flinched, the man watched him silently with the most hurtful, angry eyes. What was his problem? Hiro was the one getting married. Why was he brooding about this so much?
"You don't need me, Hiro," K tried to reason.
"How the fuck do you know?!" Hiro snapped, "You haven't exactly given me a chance!" He swiped angrily at a damn tear that spilled down his cheek.
K's heart was going to break right then and there. He watched as another tear streamed down the young man's face, he almost reached out to wipe it away. But he didn't, he couldn't, Hiro wasn't his anymore! He didn't want to play those types of games, so he just murmured, "I'm sorry."
Hiro watched K's eyes and demanded, "Stand there and tell me you felt nothing, tell me! Tell me you regret everything we did."
"Hiro…I don't regret anything—"
"And you felt nothing?"
K stayed silent. He couldn't answer that honestly, and it would be too cruel to say he felt nothing. He loved him…that would never change, and it hurt him too. It was so hard to act indifferent but he did it for Hiro's sake.
Without thinking, Hiro fiercely embraced the tall blonde.
Stunned, K had to take a step back to catch his balance when Hiro almost tackled with a hug. Why did this have to be so hard? The question roared in K's mind. He didn't understand what was going on. Maybe Hiro didn't know what he wanted. But he knew he couldn't have both!
Hiro clung onto him, his fingers gripping almost painfully into his back, he trembled. K sighed heavily, it was entirely his fault, K thought miserably. But he was hurt as well, he tried to remind himself. Hiro had lied to him too! He tried so hard to forget the memories of the steamy moments they shared, of the precious moments where he'd opened up about himself and Hiro earnestly seem to care. Hiroshi, why can't you just let it go, K thought. He swallowed hard. Unable to stop himself, K wrapped his arms around the brunette in comfort for himself as well as Hiro.
Hiro felt K's arms holding him back. He felt almost normal again having K holding him this way. Except, he felt stupid for getting so worked up like that. He sniffled and bristled a little when K started to pet over his hair.
K felt like he was in the middle of a tornado or something, and when Hiro looked up at him with those wet eyes, looking so raw and vulnerable, K trembled. His defences were breaking, crumbling to dust. He wanted Hiro so much and he was making this so hard. Then K felt Hiro stirring and the younger man looking up at him, suddenly he realized Hiro was going to kiss him.
"NO!" K cried, and pushed Hiro off of him. "I can't…I mustn't. You shouldn't."
Hiro now stood there, an empty shell; eyes turning dark and cold. "Get out," Hiro said in an eerily calm way.
"I…" K started and backed up, Hiro looked scary.
"Get out and leave me alone," Hiro said through clenched teeth. He brushed past K and went to open the door. And then he shoved K out.
K didn't put up a protest. He would leave, because he had to. "Hiro, just get on with—"
Hiro slammed the door in his face.
"—your life," K finished solemnly. He sighed, his chest tight with heartache. It wasn't easy for him either. But he did what he had to do; he did what was right, didn't he? K wandered back to his room a few doors down the hall. For the first time in a long, long time he felt his own eyes sting with tears. He didn't care anymore; he just let them fall freely as he went back to his room, shutting the door quietly.
A/N: Yeah I know I was geek when I wrote this 3 years ago. I made Bad Luck go to Toronto, my home city XD But it really is a very multicultural city, we have International Film Fest and shits loads of cool stuff here. It was easier to write about and give good descriptions, so that's another reason I chose this city. Although in the next GnG part 2 I took the band to Hollywood--had to do a little research there.
Ok, me babbling...yes this chapter was full of stuff, just like the next will be too. OH and that naked lady in the window really does exist XD I did a double take myself when I first saw her lol!
Thanks guys for reading!