Chapter 13 – Discovery

People from all over the office looked into the editing room. The new guy was still hard at work, just sitting in front of the computer, reading over the files. The editors were certain that once he was done, the next issue of 'Here and Now' would be a hoot. The women sighed, and the men whistled. That man could work!

"What's going on here?" said yet another writer, who had just walked pass all the people.

"Haven't you seen the new guy?" said one of the admirers. "He's awesome! He started working here some days ago, and he's barely left the room since! I don't think I've ever seen him during coffee brakes either."

The writer had a look inside, but as soon as he saw the new guy, he jerked backwards. "Are you guys mad?" he exclaimed. "It's a chicken! Can't you tell? It's a giant chicken!"

The new guy looked up from his work, and looked at all the people who were watching him. Slowly, they began walking away, blaming the writer for having spoken so loud. They closed the door, and left the guy to his work, thinking he was still processing the files.

What they didn't know, however, was that the new guy was indeed a giant chicken, and he wasn't doing anything with the files. Chicken Boo had just been sitting there for days, staring at the light that came from the monitor. The real hard-worker was the little lab mouse that had hired him to cover for him.

Brain had been trying to solve the result case ever since he and Wakko broke into the building, and because he didn't want to stop working, he had hired Boo to pretend to be an editor of some sort. He had managed to hack into the computer system a couple of days before, so he didn't have to use the diskette that held the file. He was now trying to figure out how someone could have written the results without making any mistakes.

"I sense a fraud here," he said when he slowly scrolled down the result page for the millionth time. "There is no possible way an ordinary man could have written this without having to correct himself."

Brain scratched his head, and squinted his eyes at the monitor. "Curse you, genius," he spat at it. "Why am I not able to uncover your work?"

He had barely let go of the last word when something hit him. Of course! He had hacked his way into the system! Maybe that was the key to be able to find something! Brain moved the mouse around, clicked it, and then hopped on a few keys on the keyboard. In a matter of seconds, a huge list of files histories popped up on the monitor. Brain smirked at his own brilliance, and then had a look.

As always, he had to look very closely at everything: the name of the project; the name of the file; the type of the file; who wrote it; when it was edited; and when it was first saved into the system. Finally, he saw what he was looking for: 'Who do you think is the cutest Warner? – Results'. Brain opened the file, his eyes beginning to bulge with excitement.

Just as he expected, nothing unusual came up. It was just the same file he had always been staring at. But Brain wasn't going to give up that easily. He looked closely at the file's dates, and saw that there were a few days between them. Because he was now a hacker, Brain could finally go over the file's real history, and see if anyone had edited the results after completing them. He ran over the parts he had already seen, positive that there was nothing wrong with the beginning of the file.

Boo clucked, and he couldn't have picked a better time, because Brain had just overlooked a major flaw in the project. Like he had seen before, most of Wakko's votes suddenly showed up at the middle of the project. But when he had a closer look, he noticed that Yakko and Dot's names had been replaced numerous times with Wakko's. As he scrolled down, he also saw that there had indeed been spelling mistakes, as well as several wrong calculations on the votes. Brain smirked again because he knew he had proven his own suspicions.

He decided to track backwards, and viewed the file's history in reverse. All the writings, corrections, numbers, letters, and names disappeared before Brain's very eyes. He then exited the file, and there – hidden behind everything else he had looked at – lay the name of the worker that had written the file: Devin Marsh.

"Yes!" Brain exclaimed and jumped into the air. He then rushed to the next reachable telephone, wondering just how much smarter he could be. He dialed the operator, and asked for a Devin Marsh, editor at 'Here and Now'. Brain had to hold for a while, until finally someone picked up on the other line.

"Hello?" said a young man's voice. "This is Devin."

"Greetings, Devin," said Brain. "I was wondering if you could do me a little favor."

"Uh… that depends," said Devin. "Who is this?"

"That is none of your concerns," said Brain. He then realized that maybe Devin wouldn't trust him if he didn't give him a name, so he decided to improvise. "Or, if you're that eager to know, my name is…" Brain looked around for inspiration, but only saw the giant chicken. "Pluck- I mean, Buck… Feathers. That's right, Buck Feathers, and I am a fellow editor here at 'Here and Now'."

"Oh, okay," said Devin. "You scared me a little. For a moment, I thought you were some kind of a phone-creep. You know, like in those movies? Well, anyway, I've never heard of you. You new or something?"

"Why, yes I am," said Brain. "And therefore I was wondering if you would care to have a little meeting. How does that sound?"

"Um, sure, okay," said Devin. "But why not just talk to the boss?"

"Because this is not a matter of work," said Brain. "This is about a certain survey that I hear you were in charge of."

Brain heard Devin gulp. "Uh… okay…" he said nervously. "W- where and when do you want to meet me?"

"I'm so busy with work, I'm afraid I cannot go anywhere," Brain lied. "How about you come over to the 'Here and Now' building for a few minutes, and we can talk in the editing room."

--

Devin sat down on one of the chairs in the editing room, facing Chicken Boo – who he thought was Buck Feathers, and didn't even notice was a chicken. He looked around nervously and tugged the collar of his shirt.

"So… heh… what's up, Buck?" he said.

"Oh, come now, Marsh. That joke is getting old," said Brain, who was hiding under Boo's clothes, pretending to be 'Buck Feathers'' voice. "Now, enlighten me, why haven't you attended work for so long?"

"Well, you know me," said Devin and chuckled, and then cleared his throat. "Well, not really, but whatever. I was never supposed to be in charge of the survey, you know. I specifically told my boss that I was going on vacation for a couple of weeks, so I couldn't do any projects. But he insisted, so I couldn't say no. My boss is really punctual. He wanted that survey to be in the then newest issue."

"I see…" said Brain and put a hand on his chin. "I must say, Marsh, you are one good speller. I myself have seen this project of yours, and gone through its history, and I simply adore your spelling technique. Never, not once, did you misspell a name, even if it was foreign."

Devin chuckled sheepishly, and though Brain couldn't see his face clearly, he saw that he was beginning to sweat. "Well, heh… i- it's a gift, I guess."

"I also admire how you sorted the Warners' names by votes," said Brain. He could tell that Devin was hiding something, and he was going to make him fess up about what it was. "I noticed that Yakko's few votes were on top, Dot's in the middle, and then Wakko's came pouring down the screen. It must take a lot of ambition to do that sort of thing."

"Heh… yeah, I- I guess you're right about that…" said Devin and tugged the collar of his shirt again.

"But what I find very odd is that you seem very nervous talking about this," said Brain. "Here I am, complimenting you, and all you do is sweat and tug your collar. I wonder what could be bothering you…"

Devin bit his lower lip, and Brain could sense that he couldn't take it any longer. "Okay, okay!" he exclaimed. "So I didn't really do my job right!"

"What are you saying?" said Brain, and smirked, though Devin couldn't see it. "I never accused you of not fulfilling your requests."

Devin covered his mouth, realizing that he had painted himself in a corner. He then looked down on the floor, and inhaled. Brain was prepared for a major scoop. "Okay… I'll tell you what's going on, but you have to promise not to tell my boss!"

Brain nudged Boo's side, and made him raise one of his wings. "I swear," he said.

"Here's the deal," said Devin. "So, the people in charge of doing surveys had asked everyone and anyone who they thought was the cutest Warner. Then they brought their results to the editors, and since I was the only one on duty that day, my boss made me write down the results. At first, I said no, and reminded him that I was going on vacation, but he just said that if I wouldn't do it, I'd get a permanent vacation. So, I really had no choice."

"I can imagine," said Brain, pretending to understand Devin's situation.

"Anyway, I worked on the project for a few days," Devin continued. "You can't imagine how many took part in the survey! It was driving me nuts! I thought I'd never manage to finish this before going on vacation! And that was when she showed up."

"Who?" Brain asked. "An old flame, perhaps?"

"No, nothing like that," said Devin. "It was some Turkish chick. Merhaba Hastabakici, I think her name was. When I was having a cup of coffee one day, she came up from behind me, and told me that she really needed to get to the editing room. Said that she suspected that some virus had originated from there."

"And? Did you allow her to do so?" Brain questioned.

"Of course not!" Devin exclaimed. "I told her that no one but workers at 'Here and Now' were allowed to go in there. Not even our own family members are allowed to visit us. And besides, randomly showing up in a building where a paper like 'Here and Now' is written, begging to go to the editing room sounds majorly suspicious, so I didn't really believe her virus story."

"But judging from your reactions from before, I believe you did allow her to go in," said Brain. That statement made Devin blush slightly.

"Y- you could say that, yeah…" he said in a low voice. "You see, she followed me around all day, and when I kept saying no to her, she began… s- seducing me… I couldn't help it!" he added when he saw the blank look on Boo's face (he couldn't see Brain's pathetic one). "She was too hot! So, eventually, I kinda… you know… had my time with her…?" Devin fidgeted with his fingers.

"You're a very pitiful man, Marsh," said Brain. "But this doesn't explain how she accessed the file."

"That's the sad part," said Devin. "You see, the next day, I kind of over-slept, and when I woke up, Merhaba was gone. It really surprised me that my boss hadn't called yet. That is, until I found out that she had stolen one of my suits, and even my business card, which allowed her to access the computer system at work!" Devin hid his face in his palms. "That's why I'm so nervous about being here. I'm afraid my boss will find out, and fire me!"

Brain shook his head, and Boo had to do so too, because Brain's movement tickled him a bit. "I stand corrected, Marsh," Brain said. "Your situation and story is pitiful – you are an imbecile."

--

"Geez, Wakko! What the heck did Scratchy do to you?" Yakko almost yelled at his brother.

The Warners had just had an appointment with Scratchy, but Yakko and Dot were now having more problems than they could've told Scratchy. Wakko couldn't stand upright, much less walk, and he was even beginning to lose his ability to talk. His siblings had to help him walk, but it was easier said than done.

"Hold still, will ya?" Dot exclaimed when Wakko's foot almost kicked her knee. "I know you can't walk, but can you at least take control of your feet?"

"I'm twyin!" Wakko said incoherently. "It'th hawduh than ih wookth!"

Wakko lost his balance again, and ran through the air for a couple of seconds before plummeting to the ground, dragging his siblings along. They all rubbed the places they had landed on, and then Dot glared at Yakko.

"You were the one who insisted on going to Scratchy," she said angrily and pushed Wakko towards Yakko. "I say you carry him!"

Yakko grabbed his brother's shoulders, and tried to position him in a way he could stay upright. "Oh yeah? Well, you're the one who said we should all go in there alone! Who knows what might've happened to poor Wakko in there?"

"I'm not touching that one," Dot muttered.

"Theriouthly, guyth!" Wakko tried to say. "Awl I did wath have a gwath of wathewr!"

"See? We can barely understand him now!" Yakko exclaimed dramatically and put the back of his hand on his forehead. "Oh, the humanity! Oh, woe is Wakko! The boy who was drained of his only toon abilities known to amuse!"

Dot cocked an eyebrow. "And you say I need acting lessons…" She stood up from the ground, and brushed some of the dust off her skirt. "Come on, Kenneth Branagh, help me get Wakko on his feet again."

Yakko chuckled a bit before standing up as well. He pushed Wakko's back while Dot pulled his arms. Finally, Wakko was back on his feet, but barely so, because he immediately started to wobble, and almost head-butted Dot in the process. Dot managed to grab him.

"Thowwy!" said Wakko and adjusted his hat.

Yakko pulled his brother off Dot, and put his own arm under Wakko's. "Come on, guys, lets just get home already," he said.

"I second that," said Dot and put Wakko's arm over her shoulders. "By the minute we get home, you have to tell us what happened in there, Wakko – and don't you dare put an innuendo in there! We've had enough of those so far…"

"Honetht, guyth!" said Wakko. "I dyutht had a gwath of wathewr!"

"Remind me never to give Wakko taffy," Yakko commented before the three of them started walking.

The walk back to the tower took a very long time, and it was mostly Wakko to blame, even if he couldn't control his movements. All of them had a heck of a time keeping their balance in order to keep walking. There was no telling how many times they almost fell, and Wakko kept trying to explain why he was like that, but Yakko and Dot never understood him.

Suddenly, just as the siblings had walked pass the last sound stage before getting to their tower, a tall, muscular man came running towards them. Yakko gasped when he saw that the man wasn't about to turn away to avoid running into them.

"Outta my way!" the man exclaimed, and ran the Warners down like bowling pins (complete with the sound effect) and practically threw Wakko in the air. "I'm in a hurry!"

Yakko and Dot sat up from the ground, while Wakko fell down from the air. He yelped in pain when he landed, but no matter how much he wanted, he couldn't sit up as easily as his siblings. They stood up and had to help each other to get Wakko back on his feet again. Luckily, the man had somehow thrown them closer to the tower, so they were standing almost directly in front of the ladder. Yakko and Dot looked at each other, and then sighed.

"Guess we'll have to drag him up there, huh?" said Dot and looked up the ladder.

"Yup, guess so," said Yakko. "Good thing the builders of the tower were generous to have the ladder vertical, or we could never do it!" he added sarcastically.

And so began a big struggle to get back in the tower. Yakko climbed up first, and had to stick his feet between the ladder steps in order not to fall down. Dot held Wakko with one hand, and the ladder with the other. When she felt that she was close enough to Yakko, she lifted Wakko towards him. Yakko grabbed Wakko and (though he almost lost his balance for a moment) held him in the air while Dot climbed over him. They then switched places: Yakko lifted, and Dot grabbed. They did this a couple of times before they finally reached the tower balcony. By the time they got there, Yakko and Dot had to lie on in for a moment to catch their breath.

"Wow…" Dot sighed. "This sure has been some day!"

"Tell me about it," said Yakko, sat up and cracked his back. "Who knew that escalator idea was actually a good one?"

Wakko whimpered, and tried to sit up on his own. After a few seconds, he managed to do so, and his mood brightened up instantly. "Guyss! I can ssit up by mysselff!"

"Wait- what?" Yakko exclaimed, and then frowned slightly. "You mean to tell me you could do it this whole time- wait a minute… I understood you!"

Dot smiled. "Yay! That means we won't have to carry him around all day!"

Wakko chuckled. "Yeah, that'ss forr surre," he said.

Yakko positioned himself next to his brother and smiled. "So, Wakko," he said. "You were about to tell us what happened between you and Scratchy back there."

"I said no innuendos!" Dot yelled, but then sat down next to Wakko as well. "But I guess you're right. Now that you're actually able to speak by yourself, you might as well begin story time."

"Okay, here'ss what I've been trrying to say," Wakko began. "Sso, I went insside Sscratchy'ss officce, and we talked forr a few minutess." He spat, and cleared his throat before continuing. "Anyway, so just when we were about finished talking, Hello Nurse came in with a coffee cup, and a glass of water. She put both on Scratchy's desk and said that his coffee was ready, and that he could have water if he wanted too."

"Coffee with water?" said Dot. "That doesn't sound too good."

"I know, which is why he offered the water to me," said Wakko while attempting to stand up. He could. "I gladly accepted, but I hardly took a sip of it."

"Why's that?" Yakko asked.

"Because it tasted sour!" Wakko exclaimed when he was finally standing on his own two feet. "I took half a sip, and then spat it on Scratchy's face."

Dot snickered. "Good move."

"So, yeah, that's basically what happened," said Wakko.

"Can't deny it," Yakko had to comment. "You did give him a face--"

"No innuendos!!" Dot interrupted by yelling at Yakko's face, and then cleared her throat as she made a little realization. "This is getting really spooky…"

"What is?" said Yakko. "My sudden love for innuendos?"

"No, you've always loved innuendos…" said Dot and rolled her eyes. "No, I mean what's happening to us. Don't you see some sort of a weird pattern here? I got eating disorders, became a model, and eventually ended up in a coma!"

"You just had to remind me…" Yakko muttered.

"Seriously, Yakko," said Dot. "And then, shortly after that, you were almost… how can I put this family-friendly… molested!"

"You just had to remind me…" said Wakko, and shuddered. "And that wasn't family-friendly, by the way."

"And now, Wakko almost became a cripple!" Dot finished, ignoring Wakko's comment. "Don't you get it? It's all downhill from here! Who knows what might happen next! We could have a major accident for all I know!"

She had barely let go of the last word when something crashed into one of the tower feet, thus shaking it like crazy. Wakko (who was the only one standing) lost his balance, and hopped around trying to get it back. Without realizing, he hopped off the balcony and fell to the ground again. Because he had been unprepared, he almost landed on his back, but thankfully, someone grabbed him before he landed on the ground.

"Whoa!" Wakko exclaimed, and then looked up to his siblings, who were almost paralyzed with shock. "I'm okay guys! Thanks to… um…" He looked up at the person who caught him, but couldn't see his or her face. Before he had a chance to ask who it was, the person put him on the ground, and then ran away. Soon, the man who had run into the Warners before showed up and began chasing the person.

Wakko looked after the two mysterious persons and scratched his head. He then turned to the tower and began climbing the ladder. As he did so, the same thought struck him and his siblings at once: what on earth was going on with them?

--

Brain was once again in front of the computer, but now he knew a lot more than before. He cracked his knuckles, and then typed 'Merhaba Hastabakici' on a search page. Numerous links showed up, and all of them were in Turkish. Brain sighed, and told himself that this was no way to find out who the girl who had hacked into the system was. Brain knew that he shouldn't give up that easily, so he decided to search for pictures of the girl.

As expected, more results made sense when he searched in pictures. However, when Brain browsed the results, he had to rub his eyes seven times to believe what he was seeing – and even then did he find it hard to believe that Merhaba Hastabakici was actually an alias for a known woman.

Brain rubbed his head, and thought about everything that had happened for the past few weeks, and then at the pictures of the woman. He tried to put the pieces together, and for some odd reason, they all seemed to add up! He could connect everything that had happened to that woman. Even the little details fit perfectly in the puzzle!

Brain couldn't resist anymore. He jumped up and down, cheering. This startled Boo, so he jumped as well, and clucked with all his might (followed by a loud "Cock-a-doodle-doo!"), while Brain danced around the computer table. Finally! He had solved it! He couldn't cheer for long, though, because the moment Boo had began clucking, the other workers of 'Here and Now' knew that the new guy was indeed a chicken, and that there was a mouse in the house. The two were thrown out instantly.

The mouse didn't care about anything in the world right now. He hopped on Boo's back, and ordered him to run to the Acme Labs as fast as he could – which he did.

The minute Brain stepped into the building; he skipped to the room where he knew the cage was. When he hopped onto the table, and was about to tell Pinky the good news, he was greeted by a big hug.

"Brain!" exclaimed Pinky. "You're home! You're finally home!" He let go of Brain. "Where've you been? I've been worried sick!"

"Come now, Pinky," said Brain, and tried to control his own excitement. "I have merely been solving that case Wakko informed us about the other day."

"Ooh…!" said Pinky. "Wow, did it really take so long?"

"Yes, it did," said Brain. "But after all this time, the answer has finally come to me! I now know who is behind all of this, and I intend on telling everyone who has anything to do with this story!"

"Why didn't you just ask me?" said Pinky. "I could've told you it right away, and that way you wouldn't have had to work so long."

Brain cocked an eyebrow, and glared at Pinky at the same time. "What do you mean?"

"I knew it all along!" Pinky said proudly. "Remember the time you and Wakko left to break into the 'Here and Now' building? And when I was trying to see into the future?"

"Yes?" said Brain. "Get to the point."

"I did!" Pinky exclaimed. "I did see into the future! Zort!"

Brain slapped his forehead. "Why didn't you tell me? We could've prevented things from happening of you had just told me!"

"You never asked!" Pinky said happily, and laughed. Brain frowned.

"Well, at any rate, I'm going to tell everyone to come to a meeting," said Brain and walked towards the telephone. "There, I shall unwrap this mystery to them all."

"Egad, Brain!" Pinky exclaimed. "I'm so excited to hear it!"

Brain stopped in his tracks, and turned to Pinky. "Why should you be? Didn't you just tell me you knew it all along?"

Pinky looked stumped. "Knew what all along, Brain?"

Brain grunted in frustration, and continued walking towards the phone. Still, no matter how annoying Pinky could be, Brain's excitement overpowered his anger, and he began dialing all the numbers he knew. Everyone that had had anything to do with the whole plot was to come over to the Acme Labs immediately.