Chapter 14 – Master of disguise

The Warners had been informed that Brain had finally found out who was behind everything that had happened. He had called them a few hours before, and told them to meet him in the Acme Labs. However, when they got there, they found out that they weren't the only ones Brain had called. When they looked around the room for some place to sit, they scanned the room, and saw just who was going to be there as well.

At the far end of the room, almost sitting in the corner like a child being punished, sat Flash, tracing a hand through his now greasy hair. He looked as if the world was coming to an end. Next to him, though a few feet away, sat doctor Scratchansniff. He too was scanning the room, but mainly because he wasn't sure why he was even there. Hello Nurse stood next to Scratchy, and seemed like she didn't even care about hearing the conclusion.

On the other side of the room were the two security guards: Duke Zody from 'Cable Cameras', and Ralph. Like Scratchy, Ralph looked like he wasn't even sure what he was doing there. Lastly, Devin Marsh sat closest to the door, nervously fidgeting with his fingers – partly because he was nervous, partly because he was surrounded by toons, and partly because he had found out that 'Buck Feathers' was actually a tiny lab mouse.

The Warners walked all the way into the small lab, and since all the seats were taken, they decided to sit on the floor. The group waited for a few seconds before they heard a cage open. They all turned their heads to the table where the sound had come from, and saw the two lab mice walk out of it. Wakko noticed that Pinky was wearing the same cloak from before – when he had been trying to see into the future. The mice walked a few feet on the table, and then Pinky jumped down on the floor, and sat down next to the Warners. When he saw the funny looks everyone was giving him, he merely smiled.

"Don't worry. Brain's gonna have a speech now. Troz!" he whispered, unaware that that wasn't what everyone was looking at him for.

On the table, Brain cleared his throat, making everyone turn to him again. "Welcome, fellow actors, and other guests," he said as if he was doing a lecture. "Welcome to this meeting, where I shall tell you everything – and I do mean everything – about the entire 'Who do you think is the cutest Warner' case!"

Pinky clapped. "Yaaay! Go Brain!"

Brain ignored Pinky, and kept on talking. "Now as we all know, a few weeks ago, a certain magazine held a survey on who people thought was the cutest Warner sibling. We also all know who ranked the highest in that very survey, and that that was the cause of everything that has happened for the past few weeks."

Everyone looked on the floor where the Warners were sitting. Dot looked at Wakko, who rubbed the back of his head, blushing a bit. Now that everything was over, Dot smiled back at him and patted his shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault," she said sweetly. "People are just morons."

"Yes, you are correct there, Dot," said Brain. "People are indeed morons; but not just humans. We mustn't forget that it was you-" Brain pointed at the Warner brothers, and then at Scratchy and Hello Nurse "-who wouldn't tell Dot about the survey for starters. I suspect that to have been the motive for the bitter and angry mood she was in during that period of time."

Yakko and Wakko looked at Dot like they were ready to hear her scream, but she didn't. She did, however, show clear signs that she wanted to.

"But then came Miss Nurse and made it all well," Brain continued. "She and Dot became good acquaintances after the survey was published, and that was what made Dot feel better. But let's not forget that it was Miss Nurse who encouraged Dot to become a model, and such."

Hello Nurse coughed. "Don't rub it in, please."

"Very well, then," said Brain, and then continued with his speech. "Shortly after Dot began this model business, she got a blow to the head, and was in a coma for two days. Now, we have no idea what happened in her mind during that time – not even I – but whatever it was, it made Dot turn over a new leaf. I have been told that the rehab process went well, and I congratulate you for that." Brain bowed.

Dot wasn't sure how to respond, and chuckled sheepishly. "Heh… thanks… I guess."

"At any rate, that was when the Warner siblings thought everything was over," said Brain, as if Dot hadn't even spoken. "But they were proven wrong. Two unexpected things occurred after Dot came out clean: Yakko was almost… well, physically abused, and Wakko was poisoned – or so I've heard."

"Yeah, what's up with that, anyway?" Yakko had to comment. "Dot goes through weeks of crud, and all we get is a lousy one day's worth of bad times?"

"You're saying it like it's a bad thing, Yakko…" said Wakko, and cocked an eyebrow at his brother.

Yakko was just about to reply back, when Brain cleared his throat. "Now, I'm guessing that everyone is asking themselves: who is the culprit? Who is the mastermind behind all this? And most of all: why? Why would anyone go through such hard work just to bring the Warners down?"

"Yeah! Who?" Dot exclaimed. "Come on, genius. Cut the dramatic speech act and just spit it out! We ain't got all day, you know!"

Brain rolled his eyes, and thought: And people wonder why I'm moody… "Very well. I shall now inform you who the mastermind is!"

Brain then skipped to a chalkboard, picked up a chalk, and began writing something on the board – jumping to reach high so that it would be written in bigger letters. When he was done, everyone read what he had written, but no one seemed to get it. Ralph put a hand on his chin in thought; Flash squinted his eyes to see if there was some sort of a hidden message in the phrase; Hello Nurse tilted her head; Scratchy ironically scratched his head; Duke just stared at the board; and the Warner siblings unknowingly copied everyone else's movements. After a few seconds of thinking, Scratchy finally spoke.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," he said, still scratching his head. "This doesn't make any sense."

Of course it didn't make any sense. No one in the room had ever heard the phrase… all except for Devin.

"M- Me- Merhaba Hastabakici?" he said with a shocked expression. Everyone looked at him, because he was the only one who actually understood what stood on the board.

"That is correct," said Brain and waved the chalk in his hand.

"Wait a minute- hold the phone!" said Yakko. Wakko was suddenly talking on a phone, and told the other line to hold. "What does a merhaba hastabakici, or whatever, have to do with anything? I don't get it…"

"Of course you don't," said Brain, and wielded his chalk like a weapon against the board. "Because you know the phrase by another name."

With that, Brain began writing again. He wrote a little smaller letters this time, and it were two words again. He put them under the other phrase, and when he was done, he swung around, and grinned at the group. "Recognize this now?"

As much as the group had peered at the board before, now their eyes bulged. All of them read the phrase over and over again, positive that their eyes were fooling them each time. Some rubbed their eyes repeatedly, and some told themselves that it couldn't be true. What Brain had written on the chalkboard was namely:

M E R H A B A H A S T A B A K I C I

And underneath it:

H E L L O N U R S E

All eyes trailed from the chalkboard to Hello Nurse, who looked like she had seen a ghost. Without a word, everyone looked at Brain again, who was still grinning.

"Surprised?" he said and began waving the chalk again. "I have to admit, I was a tad shocked as well, but when I lined the pieces up, it all made sense in the end."

Dot's jaw dropped, and hung for a moment before Wakko decided to put it back in its place for her. When she finally found her voice again, she exclaimed: "What?! I don't get it! I don't see it! I don't believe it!" She grasped her hair, unsure what to think.

"Oh, believe it, Dot," said Brain. "Because it's a fact."

Hello Nurse still looked like she had seen a ghost, and because he could, Wakko poked her. The sudden touch brought her back to earth, and she shook her head a bit before speaking. "What?! Are you accusing me of all this? How does that even add up? I was there for Dot when no one else was! I was her friend when everyone was her enemy! Why would I have done it?"

"You are going to have to answer that question yourself later on, Miss Nurse," said Brain.

"But I still don't get it," said Yakko. "I mean, how did she even pull it off? We were all there – or at least some of us – when something happened, and I for one never saw her. So what gives?"

"Yeah!" everyone said at once.

Brain looked pleased. Finally, he could tell everyone what he had found out. "Alright, I shall tell you how this adds up. I'll start from the very beginning: the survey." Brain walked to the spot of the table that was the closest to Devin. "This gentleman here was in charge of the survey." Before anyone could say how much of a dirty fake Devin was, Brain continued. "Or, he should have been. For you see, he was never supposed to be in charge. He was going on vacation only a few days before the survey was to be published, but his boss wouldn't give in."

"Yeah, that's really bad for him," said Yakko. "But what's that got to do with our problems?"

"It has everything to do with your problems," said Brain. "One day, a Turkish woman came to Devin's work, and begged to be allowed to go into the editing room, because she suspected a computer virus to have been originated from there. Of course, like he was supposed to, Devin declined. But the Turkish woman wouldn't give up, so Devin eventually, as he put it himself, 'had his time with her'."

"Deeeeesgusting!" Dot exclaimed. "You just had to tell us that, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did, because a dreadful act followed," said Brain. "The next morning, Devin overslept, and when he checked on his belongings, he realized that the Turkish woman had taken one of his suits. That particular suit was the one that held his business card, which gave the woman access both to Devin's workplace, and the computer system. By simply pretending to be Devin, she was able to complete the survey results – only with different ratings."

"So… you're saying that…" Wakko began.

"Yes, that is what I'm saying," Brain answered. "The Turkish woman introduced herself as Merhaba Hastabakici, which just happens to mean 'hello' and 'nurse' as separate words in Turkish."

Dot's jaw dropped again, but this time, her brothers joined her. "H- Hello Nurse changed the survey results?"

"Yes, she did," said Brain. "By simply using her toon abilities, she was able to disguise herself brilliantly both as a Turkish woman, and as Devin Marsh. Also, when she was done editing the results, she used her super-smarts to edit the file's history, telling everyone that was to see it that the results had been written in one big blow. What she failed to hide was the fact that no one, not even a toon, could have written so much without having to correct themselves at least once."

"But how did she even know that the survey was being done?" Scratchy asked.

"Simple: she was asked," said Brain. "Though she didn't take part in the survey, she knew which paper was behind it, and the idea popped into mind."

Pinky clapped again. "Woo! Do more, Brain! Tell us more!"

Brain motioned his hands like he was calming a crazy crowd. "Very well, I shall continue. Miss Nurse's next step was to befriend Dot. She knew for a fact that no one would inform Dot about the results, because they knew how irritated she would get. Miss Nurse was very nice and sweet to Dot because she knew that when Dot would find out about the results, she would come to her: the only person who had been nice to her. She also began saying things like if she had taken part in the survey, she would have chosen Dot, and that she couldn't picture as to why Wakko had won. All those statements were lies, but they did work as tickets for Dot's trust."

"I- I…" Dot stammered. "I… don't… believe it…"

"Another thing to gain Dot's trust, and to pretend to understand what she was going through, was the beauty contest story," said Brain. When he saw that no one but Hello Nurse and Dot knew what he was talking about, he decided to sum the story up. "The nurse told Dot that she had once participated in a beauty contest, where every contestant had looked fake, or had at least one plastic surgery. She also said that a certain very fake-looking woman, Addio Daktaras, had won."

"So? What about that?" said Duke, almost mockingly.

"It was a lie as well," said Brain. "Certainly, there was an Addio Daktaras in the contest, and yes, the contestants all looked like Miss Nurse described them, but you can't honestly believe that a stunning beauty like her could have lost to something like that. Of course she won – by a landslide."

"Okay, okay, so she made up a few lies, yadda-yadda…" Yakko said impatiently. "Can we please go on?"

"There is a whole lot of ground to cover, and it may take a lot of time…" said Brain. "Yes, I suppose we should get this over with." Brain cleared his throat and began walking on the table again. "Now, on that very same day, Dot made a question that the nurse hadn't expected at all: she asked her how she could become cuter. With that came a grand opportunity for Miss Nurse to bring Dot even lower. She immediately invited Dot to go to the gym with her, because she knew that Dot would feel tiny or fat next to her. The eating disorders were inevitable."

Dot grasped her hair again, and let out a small groan as if to say: "I'm such an idiot!" Her brothers patted her shoulders, trying to understand the shock. Yakko's eyes soon trailed over to Hello Nurse again, who was now looking at Brain with a shocked expression that sort of said: "How do you know all that?!" Everyone else kept looking at Brain, waiting for him to continue – and possibly mention their part in all this.

"Ah, I almost forgot," Brain suddenly added, and snapped his fingers. "Miss Nurse did more than bring Dot down. She also did something to increase her hatred for Wakko."

"How? What'd she do?" Wakko asked.

"Miss Nurse has a friend who is working at a new gossip magazine," said Brain. "I believe it's called 'Seen and Heard'." Brain paused for a moment to look at everyone's expressions, and noticed that Wakko, Dot and Hello Nurse all had the same wide eyes. "This friend informed the nurse that they were about to publish the first issue, but also that they needed more stories. With that came an even more brilliant idea. Miss Nurse looked for a photo of the 'Here and Now' building, and then took a screenshot from one of the Warners' cartoons – Temporary Insanity I believe it's called – with Wakko holding a stack of papers. She then merged the two pictures together; making it look like Wakko had been walking to the 'Here and Now' building with more votes for himself." Brain looked at Hello Nurse. "I must hand it to you, Miss Nurse, it was brilliant."

"I knew it!" Wakko exclaimed. "I knew that picture looked familiar! The first time I saw it, I just thought: 'What the fuse?' and felt like I was looking at something I'd already seen!"

"Quite right," said Brain. "But the editing job was clearly done well enough for Dot to believe it. Now, let's continue with the Dot issue. A few days later, Dot came to Miss Nurse with one of the most amusing stories she had ever heard. Namely: Wakko's nightmare with the child molester. When Dot told the nurse how the dream had gone, she pretended to think it wasn't funny, and that she shouldn't make fun of Wakko for it. But the truth was that she was actually memorizing the whole thing, because she thought she could possibly use it later on. I'll explain that when I get to the next Warner," Brain added when he saw the confused faces everyone was giving him.

"That very same day, Yakko called doctor Scratchansniff to tell him about Dot's eating disorders, which he had just been told about," Brain continued. "The doctor became concerned, and followed Yakko's orders to take Dot to a few extra appointments. He spoke to her for a moment, but when Dot heard that Yakko didn't like what she was doing to herself, she became furious. The nurse eavesdropped the whole thing, and she was confirmed that her plan was working: Dot now hated both of her brothers."

The group exchanged expressions, both shocked and confused. None of them could put a finger on as why Hello Nurse had done all this. When they found out that they were all as stumped, they looked at Brain again, anxious to hear more.

"The nurse's perfect chance, however, was when Dot came to her after having gone through a make-up treatment," said Brain. "She scanned Dot's face and body, and remembered her old modeling days at 'Cable Cameras'. It was then that she suggested that Dot should become a model. She called Mister Cable when Dot left her that day, and told him that she had found a new face. She didn't have to worry about having to persuade him, because she knew that he would accept everything from her. After all, when she was his model, she was the best one."

Flash let out a groan, which made Brain stop for a moment. When he showed signs that he wasn't going to speak, Brain continued.

"When the two girls came to 'Cable Cameras' that day, Flash instantly fell for Dot's charm," he said. "Especially since his all-time favorite model had brought her. But there was another somebody at 'Cable Cameras' that would turn out to be working with Miss Nurse later on."

Dot gasped. "Was Flash in on this whole thing after all?"

"No, not at all," said Brain. "In fact, Cable was the only one of the 'Cable Cameras' crew that knew nothing about the nurse's plan. No, the other culprit was Mister Duke Zody, the security guard." Brain paused to let everyone have a look at a now shocked Duke. He then kept talking. "You see, when Miss Nurse was a model – identified herself as Hyooka – she and Zody here became quite the associates. Therefore, she couldn't help but tell him about the scheme, and Zody was so overwhelmed by the sheer genius-ness of it, he wanted to tag along. Miss Nurse quickly found a use for him, but I shall inform you about that later on."

"Wait. Before you keep rambling, there's one thing I wanna know," said Dot.

"And what might that be?" Brain asked.

"If Hello Nurse made such success as a model, why didn't she stay that way?" Dot questioned. "I mean, she was the photographer's favorite, and could've raked in the chips for years! Was it another one of those 'Quit at the top' things?"

"I'm glad you asked," said Brain and smiled. "And no, that wasn't the reason. Miss Nurse didn't last as a model because she couldn't stand Cable."

"What?" Flash exclaimed, making everyone jerk back a bit. "Couldn't stand me? But- but- but I'm Flash Cable! I mean, how can anyone not stand the greatness of a photographer who began taking pictures five years old and actually made it as a photographer even if I don't want to continue the job because it brought me down?" Flash gasped for air. "Huh? How?"

Dot rolled her eyes, smiling. "Phew! And here I thought he'd gone all emo."

Hello Nurse growled slightly and glared at Flash. "That's why! You're just always over-acting! It was driving me crazy! And it still does!"

Flash cowered a bit, and joined Devin in fidgeting with his fingers. Everyone's eyes rested on Hello Nurse, as she kept glaring at Flash. Brain noticed that he'd lost the attention, so he cleared his throat, signaling that he was about to continue. Pinky smiled widely, excited to hear his friend speak.

"One day, Dot and Hello Nurse decided to jog home after a photo shoot at Cable's," said Brain. "Things happened, and the two decided to have a drink. The nurse, of course, volunteered to get some water. When she came back, she told Dot that there had only been three water bottles left: one that had almost run its last-sell-day date; one's tap hadn't been thoroughly adjusted; and the third looked like it had been out in the sun for decades – or as the nurse put it: icky."

"What about that?" said Yakko. "There are loads of sucky dollar-stores out there. Could've been their mistake."

"That's true, and that's exactly what Miss Nurse told Dot," said Brain. "But everything about the water bottles was a lie – except maybe for only three being left; that may or may not be true. However, Nurse's bottle was very fresh, while Dot's was filled with some kind of a drug."

Dot gasped again. "D- dr- drug?" she exclaimed and held on to her neck. "I was drugged?!"

"Oh, yes, Dot," said Brain. "And Miss Nurse was the one that put it there, hence why the tap was loose. The drug lasted for hours. Now, when you fainted, the nurse brought you to her house, because she knew you'd wake up sooner or later. What she also knew was that the drug's effect wouldn't stop working until the next day. When Dot woke up, she wanted more water. Miss Nurse decided to slip some more of the drug in the glass so that it would effect better. And when Dot started telling her how much she wanted to go to a party, she pretended to be protective, but eventually let her out."

Yakko scowled. "So that's how Dot got to those nightclubs! Hello Nurse let her go! Why, I oughta--"

"Listen," Brain interrupted. "I wasn't finished. For you see, Dot never went to any nightclubs. She passed out again the minute she closed the door to the Nurse's house. But when Dot said she wanted to go out clubbing, it gave the nurse another brilliant idea to bring Dot down. She placed her on her sofa again, waited for a few hours to be certain that Dot was in R.E.M., and then began telling her that she had gone to a nightclub, and even been asked to come home with some random man."

"Talk to me? But I was asleep!" Dot exclaimed. "How could she talk to me if I was asleep? Why would she do that?"

"Because she knew that you would remember it," said Brain. "It is believed that if spoken to a sleeping person, it will remember it better than if spoken to when awake. So the nurse basically tricked you into thinking that you had actually gone out clubbing."

Dot tried to hide a sigh of relief, though she still felt like such an idiot for having believed everything.

"But the nurse wasn't about to give up just yet," Brain continued before anyone else could interrupt. "When she was done filling Dot's mind with false memories, she finally thought of a way to let her brothers know about how Dot's life was going down the drain. She wrote down a couple of false statements which were supposed to combine as journal entries from various websites. She then saved the entries on a diskette and brought them to the Warner brothers. When the brothers didn't seem to notice that the journals were on a diskette, and not shown directly through the internet, she was pleased."

"Ah-ha!" Yakko exclaimed. "That's why Google wouldn't give me any results when I searched for the blogs! There were no blogs!"

"Exactly," said Brain. "Now, when Miss Nurse met Dot later on, she pretended to be very disappointed in Dot for not having been able to control her thoughts. That way, the clubbing story would seem more realistic to Dot."

Brain stopped to let all the information sink in everyone's mind. None of them could still find any reason why Hello Nurse would do something like that. They all looked at one another, and shrugged, then looked at Brain again, waiting to hear even more.

"You may recall that I mentioned Duke Zody earlier," said Brain. "Well, here is his part in all of this. One day, Cable snapped completely and fired Dot. The reason, according to him, was that two men had dragged him into an alley, and threatened to 'cut' him if he wouldn't tell Dot to get slimmer. If I'm not mistaken, Cable described them as just 'some guy' and 'someone else, but couldn't see his face', is that correct?"

"Uh, yeah, I think so," said Flash, stunned by how Brain actually knew that.

"And I believe that those men are one of the reasons you quit your photography business, right?" Brain asked. Flash nodded sheepishly, and Brain continued. "I just thought you might want to know who those two men were." Brain walked over to the spot Duke was sitting, and looked over at Hello Nurse. "Zody here was the one that grabbed you, and Miss Nurse was the one you couldn't see the face of, carrying the knife."

Flash gulped, but then his eyes widened. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"I wish I was, but then again, if I was, this wouldn't be as twisty," said Brain, and walked back to his original spot on the table. "Cable was able to keep this 'get slimmer' thing up for a couple of shoots, but eventually, he couldn't go on. He was seeing Dot, his favorite character from Animaniacs, turned into a mutant, as he put it himself."

Flash chuckled when everyone looked at him, and Dot smiled sweetly. Brain let out a cough, and kept going.

"Now, Dot being fired wasn't exactly according to the nurse's plan," said Brain. "And when Dot told her how her encounter with Cable had gone, she wasn't really listening – except for the threatening men-part, but when she found out that Cable hadn't recognized her and Zody, she lost interest in the story. Instead, she was thinking of a new way to bring Dot down, hence why she didn't say anything when Dot finished talking. But all her worries came to an end when Dot suggested that the two of them should take a little ride down town in a car. When they had driven for a few minutes, the nurse said that they should probably step out of the car to stretch. That was when Miss Nurse used the opportunity and bashed Dot's head, and then drove the car somewhere safe, making it look like they had been attacked. When she came back to the scene, and saw that Dot was out cold, she called 911 and then Dot's brothers to make the story more believable. The rest was old-fashioned acting."

Dot touched the back of her head, and looked at Hello Nurse, but quickly looked away. It was hard to look at someone who had done so much damage to her. She then looked at Brain again – as well as everyone else – to hear more.

"As most of us know, the blow on the head caused Dot to be in a coma for about two days," said Brain. "The nurse was pleased by the thought, but the feeling faded away soon. Doctor Scratchansniff told her that Dot was going to him for rehab, and that the Warner siblings were more connected than ever before. That made Miss Nurse very annoyed, and when Dot came to the psychiatry office one day, and started teasing the nurse; for once, she wasn't acting. She was really that mad at Dot for having recovered so soon."

"Hey, I remember her saying something like: 'I liked you better when you were just…' but I couldn't hear the rest," said Dot. "What was she about to say?"

"Interesting question," said Brain. "I believe that the last part of the sentence was: 'a dumb, scrawny-looking party-addict'. Isn't that right, Miss Nurse?" Brain grinned at Hello Nurse, who just folded her arms and gave a little 'hmp'.

"Alright, so that covers the Dot-saga," said Scratchy. "But what about the brothers? Didn't they get their share of trauma as well?"

"Indeed, doctor," said Brain. "While Dot was in a coma, Miss Nurse finally found use for Wakko's dream. She had memorized it well enough to remember exactly how everything happened in it. She then began sending Yakko fan letters, claiming to be a young fan named Casey. She sent him pictures of herself in the Casey-disguise, and she knew that Yakko wouldn't be able to resist her. After all, we all know that both the Warner brothers are – forgive my way of speaking – suckers for her looks, so she didn't really have to worry about that, not even if she wore the brown wig."

Dot cocked an eyebrow at Yakko, who smiled sheepishly and also began fidgeting with his fingers – a little shade of pink starting to form in his cheeks. Dot rolled her eyes back to Brain, who was ready to keep on.

"Miss Nurse then wrote the letter where she said that 'Casey' would be coming over to Burbank to meet him," he said. "She rented an apartment in a block of flats, and gave Yakko that address. The night Yakko came over, Miss Nurse had to sneak to the apartment as well. To be absolutely sure that no one would notice her, she drugged Ralph the guard to be able to go past him."

"I knew there was something weird about him that night!" Yakko exclaimed. "I knew he looked unusually calm!" He paused for a moment to think, and then realized something. "Wait a second… if Hello Nurse memorized the dream, why didn't she do what happened in it?"

Everyone looked at Yakko, their looks screaming: "Are you nuts?!" Yakko looked around rapidly, and fidgeted with his fingers some more.

"There's actually an explanation for that," said Brain. "The whole thing with 'Casey' and the dream idea was the plan to bring Yakko's life to the pits. By simply doing what Wakko's dream said, Miss Nurse was certain that Yakko would be traumatized for life, and not able to trust anyone ever again, thus not being his normal, zany self. However, when it came to actually perform the act, the nurse couldn't do it. She couldn't even think about doing that to someone she never really liked."

Yakko snapped his fingers. "So that's why she was having trouble with her hands! She couldn't pull it off!"

"Precisely," said Brain. "When she was convinced that she simply couldn't do it, she let you go the next morning. You should therefore consider yourself lucky, Yakko."

"But what about me?" Wakko asked. "I got my share of all of this too. How'd she do that?"

"Ah, yes," said Brain. "The poison. When the nurse was done with the Casey-act, she realized that there was one Warner left. When she heard that the siblings were coming over to Scratchansniff's for an appointment, she got an idea. And when she heard that they had decided to go in there one by one, she knew that it was her golden opportunity for her new plan to work. She waited for Wakko to go in, and that was when she made the coffee. The water was an extra touch, which was supposed to look like an accident. She knew that the doctor wouldn't drink water with his coffee, and that he would offer it to Wakko. That was why she put a large amount of the drug she used on Dot in the glass, and then brought it in the office like nothing was wrong. However, she overheard that Wakko had spat out the water, claiming that it was sour. Miss Nurse knew that he wouldn't finish it at that point, so she decided to use plan B."

"So… I was drugged too?" said Wakko. "But how come I didn't act all weird like Dot did? And had some crazy thoughts about going out?"

"That was because there was such a large amount of the drug in the water, it wasn't supposed to make you do that," said Brain. "If you had finished the water, it would have made you… how can I put it… mentally retarded."

Wakko gasped, and, in his mind, thanked the lord for his sensitive taste buds. "But what about plan B?" he then asked. "What was that?"

"Miss Nurse saw that the drug had only done a little effect, so she decided to make Mister Zody help her out again," said Brain. "She disguised him as a random someone who was on the lot, and in a hurry to get somewhere. Zody ran the Warners down, but threw Wakko in the air to see if the drug had done any effect, although he was in too much of a hurry to see the result. But he knew it had done some effect, because the nurse had told him so. He decided to follow the Warners to complete the plan. He went to the water tower, and waited by its legs to see when the Warners would arrive. When they did, he was about to push them off the ladder, but decided not to. Instead, he eavesdropped their talk on the balcony, and heard that Wakko was attempting to stand up on his own. Then he knew exactly what to do. He waited for a few seconds to be absolutely sure that Wakko was standing, and then charged at one of the tower legs, making it shake enormously. Zody was pleased to see that Wakko came plummeting down, and was about to land on his back, when suddenly a man came out of nowhere and caught him. Zody was furious because his plan had backfired. Wakko was supposed to land hard on his back, so that he would be paralyzed. In frustration, he chased the catcher away."

"But who was it?" said Wakko. "I never saw his or her face, and he, or she never made a sound. So, who caught me?"

Brain didn't answer, but gestured his eyes to the corner of the room. Wakko turned his head, and his eyes widened even more when he realized who had caught him. "F- Flash caught me?"

Flash nervously looked around, and then decided to speak. "Yeah, you know," he said and chuckled sheepishly. "Oh, okay, so I knew that something bad was gonna happen to you!" When everyone gave him the exact same "How?" look, he decided to say his part of the story. "Well, like I said, I quit my job as a photographer, and I closed down 'Cable Cameras'. I mean, there's not much of 'Cable Cameras' if there's no Cable, right? Anyway, that led to firing all my crew. Most of them were okay with it, some were a little upset, but got over it soon, but a few got angry. But only one of them got absolutely furious: Duke. When I fired him, he rambled something about making a huge mistake, and that I'd be sorry for ever being born. He then said that if I thought Dot had ended up bad, I should wait for the others to crack. So… since then, I've basically been hiding at the movie lot, waiting for something like that to happen."

"You dirty little skeleton!" Duke screamed, and prepared to attack Flash. He jumped up from his chair, and swung his arms at Flash, veins starting to form on his angry red head. Flash braced himself with his arms, prepared for the worst. Before Duke could even touch him, however, Dot put her foot in front of his, making him trip, and fall on his face. That caused a few snickers in the group (Ralph even laughed out loud), and Duke was too bummed out to even bother to try attacking again. When the group had recovered, they looked back at Brain, who had begun tapping his foot.

"Now that we're all clear about this, how about we get a little scoop from the mastermind herself?" he said, grinning at Hello Nurse. "As brilliant as your plans were, they all failed. Mostly because Wakko cared about his sister enough to ask me for help. I'm positive that you didn't expect that, now did you? If I hadn't begun my research, all your plans may have worked."

Hello Nurse scowled at Brain, and her eyes looked like they were ready to shoot lightning. Yakko looked at her hands, and saw that her knuckles were turning white from frustration.

"The only thing I couldn't uncover in this case was why Miss Nurse did all this," said Brain, and scratched his chin in thought. "As much as I know about this case, there hasn't been a trace of a motive. I simply can't picture it…"

"You wanna know why?" Hello Nurse suddenly exclaimed angrily. "You wanna know why I did all this? Because the Warners get all the freaking attention in this show! I've had enough of it! It's always 'the Warners this' and 'the Warners that'!" she said mockingly, and then shook in anger. "They're always the most popular, funnier, cuter, prettier, and even hotter!"

Slyly, Yakko ran a hand over his ears, and wiggled his eyebrows at the invisible audience. "It's a curse, and we take advantage of it."

"I just wanted them to see what it's like to always be below!" Hello Nurse shouted. "Always secondary! So, I planned to bring them down one by one! Make their lives a living heck so that they would never be able to show their faces again! I had Dot planned out the whole time, but the dream and the retard/paralyzing ideas were pleasant surprises!"

Everyone stared at Hello Nurse – except for Duke, who had been in on it the whole time. The thought of having done all that just for attention was absurd. Scratchy's jaw dropped, and soon, everyone else's did as well. Hello Nurse scoffed.

"What? Surprised that it was me?" she said proudly. "I guess I managed to do something right, huh mousey?"

Brain nodded. "Quite right. But you fail to realize that I've had the police department standing outside this whole time." The nurse's eyes shrunk, and she froze. "They've heard everything you say, and I believe now is their turn to move."

With that, the front door of Acme Labs was kicked open, and in came several cops. Two of them threw themselves on Duke, who they assumed to have problems controlling his anger. They then pulled him up on his legs, and led him out of the house. A woman came in shortly after, and she handcuffed the nurse, and walked her out. The rest of the group followed the cops, and watched as they put Hello Nurse and Duke inside a police car. Scratchy ran towards the car, and waved.

"Wait! There's one thing I have to say first!" he yelled. He stopped by the side of the car where the nurse was sitting, and waited for permission to talk to her. The cops then opened the window, and instantly, Scratchy exclaimed: "You're fired!" and then walked away to his psychiatry office.

The Warners tilted their heads, and then turned around to see that Ralph, Flash and Devin were all still there. The siblings exchanged looks, and then sighed.

"Come on, you guys," said Dot. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Duh, yeah, I dos," said Ralph. "I gotta go back to the gate, or Plotz'll be mad." He looked around nervously, as if the CEO was there. Then, Ralph saluted dumbly and raced off.

"Heh… yeah… I should, um, probably get back to spending my vacation," Devin said nervously. "I'm just gonna pretend I was never here…" He looked around nervously as well, thought it looked more like he was scared than nervous. In a flash, he ran off, almost screaming in terror.

The Warners cocked an eyebrow at Devin, and laughed at his silliness. As if someone had poked Dot, she felt an urge to look at Flash. When she did, she saw that he was looking in the air dramatically – complete with the painting-effect. Dot poked his leg, and he instantly snapped out of it.

"Sorry, I was looking over this thing," he said. "You know, I've never been fond of movies, my life being devoted to photography and all, but now that I've spent so much time here, I feel like I should try it out." Randomly, Flash threw his hand in the air like Superman, and ran off. "Come on, world! Lookit me!"

The Warners, again, cocked an eyebrow, but didn't laugh this time. Instead, they all made a small motion with their index fingers next to their heads, indicating that Flash was crazy. With that done, they began walking to their water tower. There was an awkward silence between the three, but they didn't really feel like talking anyway. Of course, being known for talking, Yakko had to break the ice.

"So… what do you guys think of Hello Nurse now that you know she did it?" he asked, just to say something.

Dot shrugged. "I don't really know. I mean, she was never really that nice to us anyway."

"But she became your friend," Wakko pointed out. "Doesn't that make you feel a tiny bit sad that she did it?"

"Wakko… it's a fanfiction," said Dot. "Even if I did feel sorry for her, it wouldn't last forever. Nothing that happens here has any effect on what's gonna happen next – or what's happening in others' minds!"

Wakko shrugged. "True… but hey, someone had to say it."

"Yeah, I know…" said Dot and smiled. She then looked at Yakko, who seemed deep in thought. "Yakko, you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I was just thinking…" Yakko began. "If this is a fanfiction, and nothing that happens here effects what happens in the future, does that mean that everything we've gone through for the past fourteen chapters were just for others' entertainment? And that it won't affect our lives?"

His siblings shrugged. "'Fraid so, brother," said Wakko.

"And that means that Hello Nurse didn't do anything!" said Yakko. "Which means…" His excited expression faded. "Crud… which means that she never had that date with me…"

"Yeah, I feel your pain," said Wakko and put his arm over Yakko's shoulder.

Dot sighed, and because she could, she rolled her eyes to the invisible audience, and said the one line she loved the most:

"Boys. Go fig."

THE END

…

…

…

Or is it?

Brain smirked as he walked back into the cage, proud of himself for having been able to tell everyone about his great discovery. He looked down on the floor, and noticed that Pinky was still trying to climb on top of the table. When he was finally able to pull himself up, he too hurried into the cage. As Brain opened the cage, Pinky dashed inside, and crashed on the bars facing the door. Brain shook his head and closed it, making sure that it was locked as well. He turned around to find Pinky lying on the ground, his eyes spinning.

"Naaaarf!" he said, before shaking his head fast, and beginning to laugh. "Wow, Brain! You were great out there! You nailed them! Poit!"

"Well, I don't mean to brag," Brain said proudly and smiled. "But I have to admit, it's been a while since I've kept such a crowd's attention for such a long time at once. I believe it's the sophisticated charm I have."

"You said it, Brain!" said Pinky, while taking off his cloak. When he was about to put it back in its place, he eyes his friend again. "Say, Brain. About that whole speech…"

"What about it?" said Brain, thinking that Pinky was going to comment on it.

"I listened to it the whole time, and I still can't figure out this one thing," said Pinky. "How were you able to know exactly what Hello Nurse was doing if you weren't there? And how did you know what she was thinking, and stuff?"

At first, Brain didn't understand Pinky's question. But when he did, he smirked again. "Ah, the wonders of being able to read one's mind… I knew there had to be some logical explanation for it."

"What do you mean?" said Pinky and scratched his head.

"Well, Pinky," said Brain. "When you told me that you had seen into the future, I knew that there was something else going on. Before everyone came over, I did some more research, and uncovered a deep secret that no one was supposed to see."

"Ooh… What was that?" Pinky asked excitedly.

"The fact that you could suddenly see into the future had to be something from a mind only capable of creating such a plot as this," said Brain. "By simply searching deeper into the source of this story, I was able to find the very mind that wrote it down, and it told me exactly who had been doing what, and what he had been thinking at that time." Brain posed proudly, and pointed at his head. "I tell you, Pinky, there is nothing this here genius can't uncover."

Pinky's eyes bulged, and he smiled widely. "Wow, Brain!" he exclaimed. "That is so clever! Narf! I never would've thought of that! I mean, wow!"

Brain rolled his eyes. Despite the fact that Pinky was supposedly psychic (according to what he had said), he was a true, blue moron nevertheless. "Calm yourself, Pinky, and spare your exclamations for tomorrow night."

"Why, Brain?" Pinky asked. "What are we gonna do tomorrow night?"

Brain walked up to the bars of the cage. "The same thing we do every night, Pinky," he said, and clutched one of the bars. "Try to take over the world!"

THE REAL END

A/N: Well, there we have it! "Who's the cutest dot?" is officially over! And since I'm taking the time to write this note anyway, I want to give my very special thanks to Tweeker515 for being my beta-reader, and for being able to stand my typos, grammar mistakes and lack of descriptions! Kudos to her!

Also, I want to thank all of you guys for reading and reviewing. You've all been very nice, and I thank you once again for that!