Change

"Stupid alarm clock." I muttered to myself as I threw the alarm clock against the wall. It shattered into weird mechanical pieces and woke Whiskers up.

"Sorry, Whiskers." I got out of bed and dragged my feet across the room. It's 6:55 AM, and my parents will be home from their 4-month summer honeymoon any minute. It was also the day I dreaded and wished would never come—the day when classes resume.

I locked myself and cried in my room every day of summer, starved myself out of depression and broke all the mirrors in the house so I won't be able to see the insect repellent that was my face. Being ugly was the hardest thing to be—it was hard being me.

I took my backpack on the way to the kitchen and started crying again. My backpack was the scarce symbol of school, a place where people like me were discriminated and treated like animals. I thought it would end when he came, when my hero came; but he was just like the rest. What everyone said was true: love can feel good like heaven, but it could also hurt like hell. I would never love again, never again in my whole life.

I suddenly heard the sound of a hovering cab. "We're home!" My parents called out from outside. I forcefully dragged myself to the porch. I don't know why, but carrying myself was harder these days since I always felt heavy. Well, duh you're heavy. You're a fat ass.

"Hi mom. Hi, dad." I told them flatly.

"Holy cow, Kim! What happened to you?"

"I know I'm ugly, dad. You don't have to rub it in." I slammed the door in front of his face, not caring if he'll ground me or not. I grounded myself, anyway, for being ugly.

After taking a shower, I dried myself up and rummaged through my closet for something to wear.

"Maybe this will do." I told myself as I picked up a turquoise shirt. I wore it as soon as I finished putting my jeans and sneakers on. All that's left to do now is comb my hair. I slid the comb from the top until the end and raised an eyebrow. My hair was way longer than before. Avoiding mirrors surely stops you from seeing your development.

I was all set. I took one step forward then my jeans fell down. "What the hell?" I tugged them up and took another step forward. The same thing happened.

"Ma, do you have any spare jeans? My jeans keep on falling off." I shouted.

"Just use the ones I bought you last time. See if they fit you now." I sighed to myself and walked to my closet. The jeans that my mother bought me were too tight so I cramped them all up in one plastic bag at the very bottom of the closet. I took the first one I saw out and wore it. It fit perfectly.

"Bye mom. See you later, dad." I kissed them as I whirred past the living room.

"Are you sure you don't want to hitch a ride with me?"

"No, dad. I'll be fine on my own." I closed the door behind me and climbed down the porch stairs. The real reason behind me not hitching a ride with dad was because I wanted to skip the subjects before his. That would give me more time to be far from hell.

- - -

"SOMEONE MURDER ME!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I reached the schoolyard. Dad's period was right after recess, so I had to come here by recess time. Recess was just about to start.

I opened the doors to hell, and I felt like crying when I saw the hallway after four short months. Another damned school year.

The students were just leaving their classrooms a few seconds after I came in. Not so long after that, I already saw my classmates. They all looked exactly the same, except that it seemed like they shrank over the summer. Most of them were staring at me when they passed by, and it pierced my self-esteem again. Stacey looked at me from head to toe, grabbed her best friend and whispered something in her ear.

"Damn it, I know I'm ugly, okay? Just shut the fuck up!" I screamed at her. She looked at me in a weird and frightened way, but I didn't mind her after that.

I ran to the café and sat down in my usual seat, with no food this time. Ever since my 'great depression', I lost my appetite and ate only once a day.

"Hey, miss. Want us to keep you company?" Mark and his friends suddenly sat down beside me. He placed both of his hands on my arms and I could feel his touch when I should have not. I was wearing my shirt right? I looked at where the sleeves were supposed to be. I was dumbstruck—I got the sleeveless turtleneck instead.

"Damn it, Mark. I've had enough. Aren't you content with what you did to me last month? Piss off, you ass."

"Sorry, what are you talking about?" He asked me in a polite, un-Markish kind of way.

"Go talk to yourself." I told him darkly. I gave him five seconds to leave, but he didn't so I pushed him out of the chair with his friends.

"Wow, that new chick's pretty weird." One of his friends said.

I was terribly annoyed so I rose from my seat and decided to go to the classroom to be left alone. From the corner of my eye, I could see most of the students stare at me. When will this ever stop?

"Hi, honey."

"Hi, dad." I told him as soon as I took my seat.

"Don't you want to take your recess?"

"I'm kinda full. Listen, dad, I'm sorry about a while ago."

"It's okay. You know, what you thought I was saying wasn't what I wanted to tell you."

"Huh?"

"It's like the coolest movie ever!" My classmates suddenly started entering the classroom. I laid my head on my folded arms so they wouldn't be able to see me.

"Okie, are you all present?" My dad asked after a few minutes.

"Yes, sir." They all said lazily.

"Okay, let's start. I'm glad to see you all again, class!"

"The feeling's not mutual." I shot Stacey a basilisk's glare.

"I see some of you changed this summer. Let's see…Emma got blonde hair, Jason got braces, Mia and Stacey got tanned and…Jared!" My father suddenly gasped. My hands clenched to a fist by the time I heard the damned name.

"Jared, you've changed a lot!" Out of curiosity, I tilted my body forward to get a glimpse of him. Someone else was in Jared's seat. He was the same, except that he was even more muscular and bigger than before. And he looked more like a gym model than a student. His chest looked like they were going to burst out of his already tight, white shirt any second and he was quite reddish, like he's sick with fever. My heart started beating rapidly again, so I tried piercing it with my ball pen.

"Thank you, sir." His voice became deeper. All the girls sighed dreamily as he spoke.

"Sir, won't you introduce the new student to us?" Mark asked. I looked around the room. No one seemed new.

"We have no new student."

"Then who is she?" I couldn't tell whom he was pointing because he was behind me.

"Ahh. I didn't recognize her last morning too. That's your old classmate, Kim."

"No shit!" He suddenly exclaimed. All heads turned to me in a snap, examining my face intently. It felt very uncomfortable.

"Alright, I get it. I got more ugly. Now will you all please stop that?" If dad weren't here, I would have sworn my head off.

"Kim, is that really you?"

"Yes." I told Stacey with teeth clenched together.

"It can't be."

I buried my face in my hair so they'd stop it. My chest felt heavier, I felt like crying again.

"Back to business people! Today I'll be giving you a brief summary of this year's lessons. Get your books, please, and read the Table of Contents for a while." I unzipped my backpack and brought my thick, math book out. By the time I already found the Table of Contents page, all my classmate's heads were finally glued to their books. There was one head though, that wasn't bowed down but was turned to me, like it was a magnet and I was too. I discreetly withdrew my eyes from the book and looked at whoever he or she was. It was Jared, looking at me wide-eyed, like he saw something he was looking for forever.