The Drabble Scrolls

Author's Note: Thanks for your reviews, everyone! I was pleased and surprised to find so much feed back. Keep the reviews a'comin'!

Also: There is a spoiler in this drabble about the Day of Black Sun. It's a fairly small spoiler and won't ruin the whole two episodes for you, but I thought I should warn you just in case.

And I know I have two straight chapters of KatAang, so I promise you all some Tokka in the upcoming chapters.

-ScorpioRed112

Meant to be a nomad

The monks used to tell me, on more than one occasion, in fact, that love is a lot like the clouds. Woman shift and change and deteriorate with time; and, therefore, the only thing a soul will keep is the close, fitting connection with the universe. Far from the temporary love of a female.

More specifically, when one of the older boys began showing interest in the opposite gender (being held guilty for watching the young nuns airbend across the nearby tower), he was asked if he wanted to become a nomad or a monk, and that he should choose wisely.

Some of us would laugh, looking at the older boys' expressions of love sickness and the way the other monks scolded them. Every boy there thought—scratch that, knew—that they were going to become monks. It was just plain common sense. It was just that simple.

Of course, unlike the other elderly males of his type, Monk Gyatso was the complete opposite of what can be considered a "monk." Actually, I would sometimes see his eyes divert to the female tower when we were training, a light blush spread across his face, and a goofy and expressive smile crept to his lips.

I never understood why, but seeing the young women sway and move around in the wind made him happy, as if somehow their grace and innocence gave him hope for the future. The only thing he ever said about it, though, was that I was too young to understand, and that maybe someday when I did understand, I would remember him.

When I met Katara one hundred years later, my freezing skin warmed up, my heart knocked on my rib cage, and a clear cut view of Monk Gyatso made its way to my mind.

I could never admit that, though. That instantly, when I saw Katara's lightly tanned face peering down so close to my own, I felt that we were meant to be together forever. I could never admit that. Not in a hundred years. Not in two hundred. Not ever.

Mostly I tell myself I'm waiting. Waiting for a time when we won't have as many problems to worry about. The war, the Fire Lord, and the state of the world. They are influential and very unpleasant topics...and that, for now, my love for an older, beautiful young woman will have to wait. Hopefully, if I'm lucky, she'll wait for me too.

Here's another excuse I've been using: I'm afraid of rejection. After all, once I kissed Katara on the Day of Black Sun, she never mentioned it again, and I think I was under a trance when it happened, because I can barely remember it.

I mean, I can see myself telling Katara I love her (I think about it way too often. It's frightening), and then I see her turning her head as if she doesn't understand. And then I scream, "Katara, did you hear me? I love you! I want to be with you forever. You're the only girl for me!" And then she takes a few steps back, fearfully and slowly, as if what I've just said is somehow going to put her life in danger.

She might say, "Sorry, Aang. But to be honest with you, I really don't think I'm ready for this kind of relationship." After all, Katara's always been so free spirited and alive...she might not want me to hold her down.

She might claim, "Aang, I've always planned to marry a Water Tribe man. And well...you being an Air Nomad and all...it might not work." Besides, we are pretty different. I mean, we're both people and she's a girl and I'm a boy and that's really all that matters. Sometimes she doesn't understand my jokes or my dialect because they're both old. Sometimes the generation gap between us tells me other wise. Hasn't she dreamed of someone from the Water Tribes her whole life?

She might add, "You know, you have a whole population to create. I've always wanted a small, tightly knit family." Well, come to think of it, Katara is the last waterbender from the South Pole, and I'm the last airbender. I wouldn't want anything bad for her, but I've always liked having a lot of people around. I mean, not in a population recreation sort of way. I want the Air Nomads to come back, I really do, but I wouldn't want them all out of Katara. I'm pretty sure it would kill her. Only ten children, Katara. Eleven tops...maybe twelve, because eleven is uneven. We could live at the Southern Air Temple because it's close to the South Pole. Wouldn't that be nice?

She could also slap me and say, "Aang, you're my best friend! Have you been entertaining thoughts of holding a relationship with me this whole time?" Well, to be honest, yes. Not in a dirty sort of way, or anything. I just liked looking at her and wondering what she thought of me. Does that count?

What worse, she could bring up, "Hate to break it to you, kid, but you're still a child. Avatar or not, you're small." Although I doubt Katara would ever say that, there was still a possibility. And what would I say then? That age doesn't really matter when you love someone as much as I love her? Would she listen?

She could start running away from me, looking back only once, and crying, "The Avatar loves me! Is fate this cruel? Every one wants to kill him and he loves me! He's going to drag me down to the Spirit World with him and keep me there forever!" As the Avatar, I've expected the possibility that I may die early. But I wouldn't let anyone touch Katara. Not in a million years. Her life comes before mine.

She could laugh and slap my shoulder. "Good one, Aang. Now lets go get something to eat." We laugh all the time...and sometimes she doesn't take me seriously.

When I start thinking about this, I think about Monk Gyatso watching the nun's tower. I doubt he ever spun things around in his mind the way I do. I think he just looked for the visible pleasure. No extreme passion plagued the corners of his heart or mind. When he thought of women, he thought of the many nuns that swam across the sky on their gliders. When I think of women, all I see is a single face, right above mine, tanned and still young, with eyes just as potent as ice.

Earlier today, on one of my thinking sessions, Toph slammed my shoulder with her fist and sat down next to me. "What are you so bummed about?" she asked casually. "You've been like this for three days."

"What? No, it's nothing. I've just been thinking."

"You sound like a wreck," she claimed. "Whatever your thinking about, it must be pretty depressing."

"It is," I said absentmindedly. "It is very depressing."

We were silent for a moment. I heard Toph swallow, as if she was also thinking about something. "It's Katara, isn't it?"

I nearly jumped. "Ha! Toph—" I was going to lie. I was going to ask her where she came up with that preposterous notion. I was going to tell her that I was thinking of something completely different. But then I remembered that she would know if I lied, and it would be embarrassing to try. Instead I looked around and made sure Katara wasn't within earshot and nodded miserably.

"Yeah, Toph. It's about Katara," I muttered, feeling my face grow warm. "How did...is it that obvious?"

"Not to the naked eye, it isn't," she explained, pulling her eye lids down and making a face. "But you've been moping around like a sick lemur for days. And your heartbeat's off."

"That doesn't mean anything," I said, shaking my head. "How did you know it was about Katara?"

She shrugged and crossed her legs. "Instinct. I guess that's the obvious part, Twinkle Toes. Why don't you just tell her and get it over with? What's the worse that could happen?"

You can probably imagine how strange this was, coming from Toph. I blinked, my gaze not leaving the horizon line. I wanted to tell her all of the possible things that Katara could say to me. But I choked and turned my face. "I don't know. It's not as easy as you're making it sound."

She punched my shoulder again, harder this time than before. "You're a spineless jellyfish, you know that? You're acting like a shy little girl!" She stood up and tightened her fists, pointing at my face. "If you like her enough to be thinking about her all the time, then why don't you just get it over with and tell Katara already?"

"Tell me what?"

That's when the conversation ended, and I think that's the first time I actually saw Toph blush. Her fists dropped and she rubbed her arm. As for me, I couldn't will my mouth to close. Had Katara actually heard what we had been talking about?

More importantly, why had Toph cared so much in the first place?

"Twinkle Toes will fill you in," was all the she said as she walked away.

Katara sat in Toph's place, watching as the earthbender made her way to Sokka. "What was that all about?" she asked me.

We heard Sokka scream as Toph shifted the earth beneath his feet, sending him flying.

"It was nothing, Katara. Really. We were just talking about..." I trailed off, rubbing the back of my neck.

"About what?"

"Nothing," I stated quietly. "It's nothing. Really, Katara. It really is nothing. We were talking about nothing. It was just nothing." I was stammering, but somehow I couldn't stop.

She smiled at me and curled her knees under her chin. "Well, I heard my name and I heard 'tell her already,' or something similar. I figured that it must've been important." She sighed. "But, if it's as unimportant as you say, I guess it really was nothing."

"Yup! Just nothing! Ha—" I started to cough (quite falsely, by the way). "So don't worry about it, okay? Because, it was nothing, like I said. And don't ask Toph, either." Suddenly I could imagine Toph telling Katara everything I had just told her. My heart sprang up to my throat. "Because it was just nothing! And there's really no need to waste any more of our time, don't you think? I mean really, wasting our time on nothing. It's silly, right? It was nothing, Katara."

"Calm down!" she laughed. "Goodness, Aang. You act like you've committed a murder or something. Would you like some tea? Sokka just made a pot a second ago."

"No, thanks," came the reply. "I think I just wanna sit here and think. I was thinking before Toph interrupted me with her nonsense." I waved her off dismissively.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked, as if genuinely interested. That's just the thing about Katara: she's so innocent and at the same time so demanding. It drives me crazy.

I blinked. "Ha—ahem, nothing, Katara. I was really just thinking about nothing. It really was just nothing—"

Her soft hand had clasped my mouth. "We're not starting that again. You need some tea. I'll be back soon."

My muscles tensed.

I reached for her hand and I held it tight, preventing her from leaving. I don't know why I did it. I think it was the Monk Gyatso in me, the part that secretly lusted after women who were untouchable and unreachable. But I was afraid. Afraid that Toph would spill my secrets to Katara. Afraid that Katara would lose interest. But I was also sick of being so passive and lovesick.

I was disgusted with myself. Monk Gyatso had told me, "you'll understand when you're older," and at this very instant, I believed I understood everything.

"Katara, please sit down," I asked calmly, although my nerves were swelling inside. "I need to tell you something."

So she sat next to me, smiling like there was nothing wrong, and looking out at the sunset. "Okay. What is it?"

Now (at this very second, this very moment) she is right next to me, and we're looking out at the reddened sky together, and I can feel heat rise up to my face. This is it, I'm thinking right now. This is it, Aang. This is it.

"Katara...what would you say if...if I told you that..." I'm turning around to face her, because I feel that I should, that what I have to say is important and really does matter. "What would you do if I told you that...that for a really, really long time...since we met, I mean...and every single day after...what would you say if I told you..." I'm stammering again, and my face is red and bright and I'm sweating like a fool. "What I'm trying to say is, well...here, if I said...if I told you..."

She's leaning in, trying to hear me, because my tone and voice have dropped. There's nothing but pure confusion on her face.

"If...well..." I take in deep breaths, trying hard to keep my eyes on her, because this really is important, and it's hard, regardless of what Toph said. "Katara...what I'm trying to say is...that since we met...I've...I've always been thinking and thinking and thinking and just trying to word this...and Katara...since you saved me from that iceberg...and since I saw you...and...you should know. Katara—"

I don't finish. She's leaned in too closely, and I can't help myself. I reach out and grasp her hands. She looks down and blushes furiously, and I stop rambling. Suddenly all I can do—all we can do—is stare.

We are still sitting like this, red hues on our faces (from the sunset or each other?). She knows what I'm about to say. She has known, probably for a very long time.

A realization dawns upon me: I'm not going to be rejected. Katara is holding my hands, and she's sitting so close I can feel her breathe. And I didn't force her to do any of this...because...because...

Because I think she loves me too. I think I can feel it. And that's good enough for me. The rejection will never happen. And the world, the Fire Lord, and the Great War suddenly vanish.

I'm taking an impulsive plunge, getting closer to her face slowly, and closing my eyes. It doesn't take long for me to notice that she's doing the same thing. When I feel her lips brush against my own, I feel every muscle in my body strain like a rubber band.

My nervous head moves back, but Katara's coming closer to me again. Katara of the Southern Water Tribe (the girl that has entertained my thoughts for the past several years) is kissing me back, and her hands have moved up to my bare shoulders, and mine have moved around to her back.

When she breaks away from me and we open our eyes, we're still bright red (from each other this time) and still in our embrace.

"You...you kissed me," she says, blinking. Her smile is cautious and timid, and she's looking down. "Aang...you..."

"There was no other way to explain what I had to say," I justify, shrugging. It's amazing how easily the words come. "And you know, Katara...you kissed me back." I'm overjoyed and nervous at the same time, her hands still on my shoulders, my fingers right over her skin.

I can't help but notice that her cheeks and ears have grown even pinker. "You had it coming, Mr. Avatar," she says as she stands up. "I had to stop the stammering somehow."

And just like that she's walking back to camp, leaving me to take in the remainder of the sunset alone, swimming in my own thought, and wondering if what I've just experienced is a dream or reality and if it will ever happen again, and when I will wake up.

And if Monk Gyatso is up in the clouds of the Spirit World, looking down and shaking his head. "What kind of monk are you, anyway?" He's asking me playfully. "Kissing girls whenever your heart desires. You're not a monk, Aang! You were never meant to be a monk! You've grown too strong of an attachment to the earth, to a girl associated with the ocean." I'm smiling and closing my eyes, feeling the red sun on my skin, and realizing that he's right. That the attachment is too strong. Katara was meant for me; I was meant for Katara. And I was never meant to be a monk.

I was meant to be a nomad.