Guess what everyone? I never expected to get so many reviews from that dumb thing I did out of boredom and crack, so I decided to share some ALTERNATE ENDINGS with y'all. Glad I didn't get any hater comments. And some actually amused me. I can't remember which ones, but you guys rock! xD So all of the endings start when she wakes up from the dream…

A bloodcurdling scream woke Edward from his trance. Though he couldn't sleep he could rest his body and mind by settling into a relaxing trance. But having that trance broken was like ripping off someone's armpit hairs. It hurt like a bitch.

"BELLA! BELLA! IT'S OKAY! NO ONE'S GONNA HURT YOU!" Edward screamed in desperation, holding his manic girlfriend.

"Get away you pregnant freak!" Bella shrieked, slamming a pillow against Edward's head.

Alternate Ending 1: It Couldn't Possibly Be…

"I-I thought you'd be happy for me…" Edward whimpered, his head drooping. Bella's eyes widened.

"W-what? You mean, you really… you're preggers?" she stammered in disbelief.

"Well, I mean, I told you yesterday, both Jakie and I. I mean, he was the one who helped me gather the courage to tell you and I-" Bella screamed as loud as she could, shoving the pillow she was still gripping in her fingers in his face.

Charlie came running upstairs. "Bella, what's with all this commotion?"

"EDWARD IS PREGNANT WITH JACOB'S CHILD!!" she shrieked, jumping out of bed and scurrying quickly to her father.

"What?! This is ridiculous, I thought it was mine! Eddie, baby, you lied!" Charlie said with a face twisted with anger and sorrow. Bella screamed again and ran downstairs. She then- literally- bumped into Emmett, Carlisle, Jasper, and Sam… all at once.

"Whoa, easy Bella, what's wrong?" Jasper asked, using his powers to calm her.

"E-Ed-Edward… child… Jacob… PREGNANT MAN!" she burst, still in a panic despite Jasper's powers. Carlisle chuckled.

"I always knew he had it in 'im…" he said to himself.

"Damn, I lost the bet, I was sure it would be Sam to knock that kid up," Emmett groaned.

"You owe me a laptop," Jasper declared. Sam just looked rejected and depressed. Bella couldn't handle it anymore.

Welcome back zombie Bella… long time no see. I need another long vacation from reality, do you mind if I recede into the darkest corners of my sad little mind?

Alternate Ending 2: Not 100 True…

"What gave you the idea that I'm pregnant?" Edward said, one eyebrow cocked high above the other in confusion. Bella sighed with relief.

"Oh, I just had this crazy dream where you can Jacob were lovers, and you got knocked up. Crazy, huh?" she said, laughing and putting her pillow down.

"Yeah, that's ridiculous, you know Jacob and I would never be lovers," Edward replied, laughing despite being in pain from being mauled by Bella.

"And you know what the worst part was? YOU WERE A GIRL!" Bella immediately broke out with laughter, but there was one vampire in the room who wasn't amused. "What's wrong Edward? Cat got your tongue? Werewolf got your tongue?" She started laughing again, nearly falling off of her bed as the joyous tears rolled down her cheeks.

"…but I am a girl Bella…" Edward said. She pointed to her chest, and it was true. Edward was female. Another scream flooded the ears of everyone in town, including one cranky Mike Newton.

"Damn, will that bitch Edward keep her fricking screams down?!" he yelled.

Alternate Ending 3: Tender Sugar…

"Bella, relax, I'm not pregnant. You'd better rest some more, that morning sickness can be pretty bad," he said softly, petting her head gently. She was puzzled until reality struck her again.

"Oh, that's right…" She looked down at her own over-sized stomach, which was growing more with each day that passed. "I still don't understand, aren't vampires like us supposed to be infertile?"

"I guess… that's your power. Like how I read minds, you have the ability to bear children to a vampire." He kisses her cheek gently. She rubbed her stomach a bit, smiling warmly as she thought of the child inside.

"I think this child is better than any power I could possibly have."

What? I didn't say they'd all be crack-filled. I COULDN'T RESIST! Just… the cuteness… IT TEMPTED ME. I'm a bad girl. REPENT! REPENT! Ho yeah, Stephanie Meyer, I'm callin' you out BEEYOTCH. xP