His world was full of unnecessary evils. To live, to fight, to breathe and inevitably, to die. To live without goals was to have perished before one's time. And he felt like it was now his time; his goal, imminent, the results, uncertain. Yet, this was now what he lived for, and he was prepared to accept his fate.

M5: Contingency

Omi sat nervously picking at the tiny hairs on his legs, looking up and around at each of the three guys near him. They were each watching him, each waiting for him to speak. Omi knew not what to say. He picked at one of the hairs and accidentally pulled it out. He flinched slightly at the pain, and then went back to picking at the others.

Of all the guys, Ken's face was the one Omi was most reluctant to see. He couldn't bring himself to forgive himself for what he'd done that night, even though Ken told him that he knew he wasn't himself when it happened and that there were no hard feelings. Omi just found it hard to believe that Ken could forgive him, and so easily.

And Aya had changed since that night. He'd become overly alert and jumpy, and occasionally had the 'deer caught in headlights' look in his eyes. For Omi, Yohji was the only one who he could go to. Yohji was the only one whose mood always stayed the same, and who Omi always knew where he stood with.

Omi moved down to his shoes and picked at the laces. He could still feel their eyes on him, and the silence was driving him mad. Why couldn't any of them say something? Why did it have to be him? Omi sighed and looked up again. Yohji caught his attention the longest.

"Is there anything you want to tell us, chibi?" he asked. Omi shook his head and looked down, but he knew he wouldn't be off the hook that easily.

"Tell me what that song means to you," Aya said.

"I just hear it sometimes," Omi answered. "It's in my mind sometimes, especially when I'm alone and bored. And when I hear it, it makes me want to cook and things like that."

"You didn't used to cook," Aya said.

"I know," Omi said. They told him about that already.

"When they had you, did they have you cook for them, like you were some type of maid?" Aya asked. Omi shrugged again.

"I already told you, I don't remember being with them. I can barely remember what they look like." Yohji reached over from the chair he sat in and pulled a manila folder from the coffee table.

"Take a look at these," he said, pulling some papers from them as he stood up. He handed everything to Omi and then sat back down. "What feelings do those pictures give you?" Omi took a look at the photographs, one of each member of Schwarz. Farfarello elicited no reaction from him. At the next picture, Crawford, there was a glimmer of recognition, but that was all. From Schuldig, Omi felt a little creeped out, and he quickly flipped to the last. Omi smiled.

"Nagi…" he said. "It's Nagi-kun."

"What about Nagi makes you smile, Omi?" Ken asked. Omi shrugged slightly.

"I'm not sure. I recognize him the most; he's the most familiar to me. And…I feel like we're friends."

"Friends?" Aya asked. Omi nodded.

"Yeah…" He ran his fingers over the picture. A little color cameto his face. "I remember now. Nagi-kun took me in…"

"Did he?" Ken asked, switching from the couch to the recliner where Omi sat. Omi nodded, smiling at Ken's interest.

"Yeah. He was nice to me…and we played the computer together a lot."

"Neat," Ken said.

"What are you doing?" Aya asked. Ken looked up at him.

"I'm trying to help Omi to remember," he said. He looked at Omi and nodded. "The more comfortable you are with recalling your memories, the easier they will come to you." Aya gave them both a skeptical look, but said nothing else. "Do you remember where?" Ken asked. Omi shook his head.

"I was just in his room a lot," he said. "I don't remember much about anywhere else."

"Oh, ok," Ken said. He reached for the pictures and Omi looked reluctant to give them up. "Can I see them?" Ken asked. Omi looked at them and then handed them all to Ken, except the one of Nagi.

"Can I keep this one?" Omi asked.

"You do realize they're the enemy, don't you?" Yohji asked. "Even if your memories of them are…pleasant." Omi looked conflicted.

"How can that be?" Omi asked. "I don't…"

"He tried to kill you, Omi…" Aya said. "And you're holding onto to that picture like he's a friend from school." Ken's jaw straightened.

"You guys are not helping," he said. Omi looked at Aya, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Last I checked, it was you who tried to kill me." Aya came away from the wall he was leaning against, his face deepening into a scowl. He gave a glance to Yohji, who looked a little shocked at Omi's statement. Omi put his hand to his mouth and covered it. "I'm sorry…" he said.

"Hn." Aya walked away, going into the kitchen. Yohji stood up and followed him.

"Omi…" Ken began.

"I didn't mean it," Omi said, looking up at Ken. "Honest."

"I believe you," Ken told him. "I know you didn't mean it. But…they're right, Omi."

"I don't see him as my enemy," Omi said. Ken fanned out the other pictures.

"What about these guys?" he asked. Omi shook his head.

"Not them," he said. "I don't trust them. They give me bad vibes. Nagi…Nagi… I just feel that Nagi is different." Ken nodded.

"I see," he said.

"Do you believe me?" Omi asked. Ken nodded adamantly.

"Of course," he said. "I believe in you and what you tell me. How could I ever not?"

"I'm really sorry about what happened, Ken-kun, you know I would never do that to you!" Ken patted Omi's shoulder.

"Relax, Omi," he said. "You were forgiven before it even happened. You didn't shoot me. Schuldig did." Ken waved the pictures a little then placed them on the coffee table. "I just wish we knew where they were staying."

"Are we supposed to hunt them?" Omi asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh, I see. Well, we can hunt the other two, but not Nagi-kun. Nagi-kun…"

"Omi…?"

"Yes, Ken-kun?"

"I know you two are friends, but the same thing happened to me and to Yohji during missions in the past. People can manipulate other people very easily. I want you to think for as long as you can about the time you spent with Nagi, I want you to spend a lot of time on this. If there is any, and I mean any, speck of doubt in the strength of your friendship, then there might be a problem."

"But, Ken-kun…"

"Just think about it. If you don't find anything worth worrying about, then you two must be strong in your friendship. But I'm just letting you know that if it could happen to me, and to Yohji, then it could happen to you."

"I understand," Omi said, and looked at the picture of Nagi, studying it for a long time. Ken sat back down on the couch and watched him.

Omi couldn't remember anything bad about Nagi. He tried his hardest to remember his situation when he was with Nagi and the other members of Schwarz. Whenever he recalled bad feelings, they were because of the other members, not Nagi. Nagi was the one who Omi turned to, who stuck up for Omi.

"Ken?" Omi asked. "What if Nagi really is my friend?"

"Omi…?"

"I don't know…" Omi said. "I can't think of anything…" Ken looked down. "What if…he's changed?"

"It all remains to be seen, Omi," Ken said. "All we have to do is wait and see what he's really like." Omi nodded and stood up.

"Aya?" he asked, moving towards the kitchen. He looked inside. Neither Yohji nor Aya was in the kitchen. He frowned and went towards the stairs. He could hear Yohji and Aya's voices, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. He looked at the picture of Nagi again and then went back into the living room. Ken was still sitting on the couch. "I'll be in my room," Omi said. Ken nodded.

"All right." Omi went upstairs and got on his computer. He sat the picture of Nagi down on his desk and stared at it for awhile. He got the urge to go online and so he did. He checked his mail, of which there wasn't much, and then opened the 'locate a buddy online' screen. He typed in a screen name and hit enter. It told him that the person was online. He clicked to send an IM and put simply: 'hello?' A few seconds later, a response came: 'Omi?'

'Yeah.' There was a pause before anything else happened.

'Red snow only falls on Tuesdays.' Omi's eyebrows went down. What was that supposed to mean? He read it again, and then something popped into his head.

'And Thursdays if the sky is white.' The response came almost immediately.

'Omi!'

'Who…is this?' There was a pause.

'It's Nagi.'

'Don't you know?'

'hey, Nagi.'

'I'm having a little trouble remembering things….'

'I see. How are you, otherwise?'

'I'm okay.'

'That's good.'

'How about you?'

'I'm managing, but the guys are really getting on my case about things.'

'The guys?'

'Crawford and Schuldig.'

'Do you remember them?'

'Yeah.'

'They're still the biggest jerks.'

'Anyway…what's been going on with you? Are you in the house with the others?'

'You mean Weiß?' Omi asked.

'Yeah.'

'Yeah, I am.'

'You like it there?'

'Yeah. Except things are a little tense.'

'Why?'

'The guys are a little frustrated that I can't remember anything. Especially Aya.'

'I see….' Omi leaned on his elbow on the desk and looked at the screen for a while. 'Do you want to get away?'

'…get away?'

'Yeah. I know I do. They're really pushing me off the deep end. And I miss you.'

'Though I don't remember much, when I saw your picture, I felt the same way.'

'My picture?'

'Yeah.' Omi waited a short while for Nagi's response.

'Well do you?'

'Do I want to get away? From what?'

'I don't know.'

'It's probably not as hard for you as it is for me.'

'You guys actually like each other. Crawford and Schuldig are seriously driving me nuts.'

'I want to see you again.'

'I want to see you, too, Nagi.'

'Meet with me?'

'Meet you?'

'Yes.'

'please?'

'How?'

'You can get out of the house, can't you?'

'We can meet where we used to hang out.'

'I…'

'I can't remember where that is…'

'It's okay, Omi, I'll just tell you.'

'I still won't know. I haven't even left the neighborhood since I woke up.'

'Woke up?'

'Yeah.'

'What do you mean by that?'

'I was…asleep for a long time.'

'What happened?'

'Nobody knows. I was just…sleeping.'

'Like in a coma?'

'No, becuase I was awake. I just wasn't…all there.'

'That's weird.'

'What was I like when I was with you?'

'You were just fine. You were awake and all, if that's what you mean.'

'Okay. Well, how will we meet?'

'I'll come to you if I have to.'

'okay…'

'What's your address?' Someone knocked on Omi's door. Omi turned towards it.

"Yeah?" Aya came into the room.

"We need to talk, Omi," he said.

"Um…" Omi looked at the computer screen and turned back to Aya. Aya was coming over. Omi minimized the IM screen.

"What was that?" Aya said. Omi shrugged casually.

"Just something I've been working on, nothing important." Aya narrowed his eyes.

"If it's nothing important, then why are you hiding it from me?" Omi shook his head.

"It's not like that…" he said. Aya's eye caught the picture of Nagi on his desk. His frown grew and he stepped closer.

"Move," he said.

"No," Omi said.

"I said move."

"I don't have to…this is my room, you can't tell me what to do." Aya grabbed the back of Omi's computer chair and pulled it back, causing Omi to roll away from the desk. "Hey!" Aya grabbed the mouse and opened the IM screen. "Stop it, Aya!" Omi exclaimed and grabbed Aya's shoulder. Aya pushed him away with his arm and Omi fell to the floor. "Aya…" he said. Aya turned to him, his expression fierce.

"So this is what you've been up to?" Aya asked him. "Giving the enemy information."

"Nagi isn't the enemy," Omi said. "Nagi…"

"What do you think he plans to do when you meet him? Once you tell him where we live? You think they won't come after us, Omi? You think they won't hurt you?"

"No, I know Nagi wouldn't do that!"

"They're fooling you," Aya accused. "They're preying on your weaknesses and they're tricking you."

"No…"

"Go downstairs."

"No! I don't have to. You don't have any idea what you're talking about."

"Omi—"

"Leave me alone!" Omi said, standing up. "Get out of my room! I don't have to listen to you. Move out of the way." Omi pushed Aya away from the computer. Aya grabbed his wrist and Omi swung his fist at him. "Leave me alone, you jerk."

"Omi, stop this. He'll only hurt you."

"The way you hurt me?" Omi asked. Aya released Omi's wrist and smacked his cheek. Omi fell back on to the computer chair and looked at Aya, his expression confused and hurt. Aya grabbed Omi by the shoulders and shook him as he spoke.

"Don't do this to me, Omi," Aya growled. "I saved you! I saved your life! You would have died, Omi!" Aya took the picture from the desk and showed it to Omi. "Do you know why I had to save you from death, Omi? Because of him and the other men of Schwarz. Because we had to fight them, and stop them from spreading their evil. What do you think they're doing now, Omi? What do you think they did to you when they kidnapped and confused you with their filth and lies? They don't care about you the way we do! Don't feed into their lies, Omi!"

"Aya, please…" Omi pleaded. "Please, I don't know… Please stop yelling at me."

"Omi!" Aya pulled Omi from the chair and put his arms around him. "Omi…" Omi started crying into Aya's chest.

"I don't know what to do…"

"Don't let them get to you," Aya said, hugging him tightly. "Stay with us. Don't fall into their trap again." Omi put his arms around Aya and nodded.

"I'm sorry…" he said. "Aya…I'm sorry…"

Thanks for reading and please review,

kaj