He had to try. He didn't have it in him to stay away. There was so much hidden inside that he needed to express, so many things he missed, so many thoughts and memories he tried to grasp, but that never fully presented themselves, and therefore, that he couldn't embrace. He longed to and could do nothing less but promise himself that he would.

M8: Connection

Omi's eyes were large and gleaming as he looked about the cages of puppies on display at the local shelter. He had his hands clasped together and was oohing and aahing at the animals, all of different shapes, sizes and colors, some wagging their tails with excitement, some napping and others eating and drinking water.

"Lucky!" Omi gasped. "Suge' koinu da ne? Yokatta!" Ken patted his back with a chuckle. "I wish I could take them all home," Omi said.

"Well, you can't," Ken said. "You have to pick one." Omi pouted cutely as he turned his attention back to the puppies. Ken walked over to the large pane of glass and stared down to the first floor where the small animals were. Yohji and Aya were standing at the fish tanks talking. Ken looked at Omi, then back down at the others.

By the Fish Tanks

"It'll be a nice change for us," Yohji was saying. Aya's eyes were fixed on the fish tank ahead and he was as stoic as usual. Ever since Aya and Omi had had their talk, Omi had become clingy and always looked to Aya no matter how small the issue. Yohji didn't mind; this was what he wanted. Aya seemed to be taking it fine, so there were no worries there, either. However, Aya was now concerned about two things: one was Omi's venture into the outside world and two was the fact that he'd seriously made the decision to get a pet.

"It seems like trouble to me," Aya said. Yohji shrugged lightly and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Sure it's trouble," he said. "But everything's going to be all right because Omi has us to help him."

"Having a pet, especially a dog, is hard work."

"Omi can handle it."

"It's not that I think he can't handle it…" Aya said. "Something about it…just feels irresponsible."

"We all told him he could," Yohji said. Aya nodded.

"I know. But it doesn't change the facts, Yohji. Omi has a profession where death is constantly imminent. This is the same reason why we can't allow ourselves to be with other people, and have deep relationships. It's irresponsible. Should something happen to him, or to all of us, it would leave this pet alone with no one to care for it."

"But that's not going to happen," Yohji said.

"Don't be so naïve," Aya scolded. Yohji twisted his mouth at him.

"I'm not being naïve," he said. "There's a chance that something bad could happen to anyone, regardless of their situation. It doesn't mean that we shouldn't give one of these pets a home." Yohji stepped closer to the fish tank and poked at it, trying to get the attention of the fish inside of it. They swam by, seeming to ignore him, seeming haughty in the way they sashayed gently in the water. Yohji smirked. "You're like a fish," he said.

"What?"

"You're just like a fish, Aya." Aya snorted.

"Yes," he said. "I'm the fish. I'm the fish and you're the rabbit."

Near the Kennels

"Ken-kun…mite." Ken stepped away from the window and over to Omi. Omi was kneeling on the floor in front of a small brown and white puppy looking out sadly at Omi. Omi was matching his solemn expression as he petted the paw that the puppy had extended to him.

"The poor guy," Omi said. "He looks so sad, Ken-kun. What do you think he's so sad about…?"

"I don't know," Ken said. He kneeled next to Omi and regarded the puppy. Its eyes were fixed on Omi's. Ken smiled. They were the same "puppy dog eyes" that often got Omi whatever he wanted. The puppy was laying the act on thick and Omi was falling head over heels.

"He is just too precious…" Omi said. "Do you want to come home with me, little one?" The puppy whined and licked his chops. Omi cooed at it. "Ken…I think I've found the perfect one." Omi sniffed and leaned closer. "You're going to come home with me, okay?" he said. Ken patted Omi's shoulder.

"All right. You should go tell the clerk now."

"Okay. I think I'll go to the bathroom first, okay? If Yohji and Aya come up here, don't tell them which one. I want to tell them."

"Sure, Omi." Ken stood up. Omi waved shortly and left to find the bathroom. He didn't see any signs, so he asked the cashier.

"It's there, just beyond the second set of kennels, young man."

"Thank you." Omi bowed to her, and then followed her directions. He went into the bathroom and entered the nearest stall. A few seconds later, he heard the door open, and then nothing else. As he used the bathroom he wondered how come the person wasn't doing anything he could hear. Omi flushed and opened the door. He rounded the edge of the stall, startled as he spotted a pair of sapphire blue eyes reflecting in the mirror, zoned in on him.

"Na…Nagi-kun?" Omi gasped. Nagi turned quickly, a bright smile on his face.

"Omi-chan!" Omi raised his hands in surprise as Nagi tried to hug him. Nagi grabbed him tightly within his arms.

"Nagi…"

"Omi, I'm so glad I ran into you… I've missed you so much."

"Oh…Nagi-kun…" Omi calmed down. He didn't feel like he was in any danger and Nagi was genuinely happy to see him.

"Omi…what are you doing here?"

"I'm going to get a pet," Omi said. "I found a dog I want."

"That's…so cool." Nagi let Omi go, but stayed standing very close to him. "I've missed you so much, Omi. And you haven't been online since that day we talked. I…was beginning to think that you were avoiding me." Omi shook his head.

"No, nothing like that, Nagi…" he said. "What are you doing here?"

"Never mind about that," Nagi said. "I've been waiting so long to see you again, Omi… You have to come away with me."

"W—what?" Omi asked. Nagi nodded eagerly.

"I know it's soon, but…I think this is a good time, Omi. You and I…we could get away and live together like we planned."

"Oh…Nagi…I can't do anything like that… I live with the guys now…I'm a member of Weiß. We're enemies…Nagi." Nagi's eyes turned icy.

"Are you refusing me, Omi?" he asked.

"Nagi…I don't have any memories of what happened when I lived with you," Omi said. "But…I do know that you and I…we're on opposing teams."

"We've already been over this, though, Omi. We don't have to do these things anymore. We can break away from this black and white prison and we can be together in peace."

"I…don't know all of what we did when we were together Nagi…but…"

"You really don't remember?" Nagi asked. Omi shook his head. Nagi stepped closer and Omi took a step back. "Don't, Omi. Don't walk away from me. I…I went through a lot of trouble to come to see you. I can't bear for you to do that."

"I'm…I'm sorry…"

"I remember you said that you don't remember a lot because you were asleep," Nagi said. "But don't worry. When you come away with me, I'll sure all of those things will come back to you."

"But…Nagi…" Nagi grabbed Omi by the wrist as he tried to turn away.

"Omi," Nagi said sternly. He forced Omi to make eye contact with him. "I've prepared everything. All I need now is you."

"Nagi…" Omi said firmly. "We're enemies. Even if you and I were to quit Weiß and Schwarz, the others wouldn't just let us be, Nagi. And how could we ever trust each other…having friends on opposing teams…"

"Schuldig and Crawford mean nothing to me," Nagi said. "Schwarz means nothing to me. All I want is you, Omi. All I want…"

"I…I just don't think it would work…" Omi said, looking away sadly. "I remember…that you and I are close. I remember that you and I shared a room and we talked a lot."

"We're in love, Omi," Nagi said, pulling him closer. Omi felt sorry for Nagi, but there was nothing he could do to change the fact that he was dedicated to Aya and the others. Aya had fulfilled the empty, longing part of him that had caused so much confusion in his heart. Aya had made it easy to decide to stay with Weiß no matter what.

"I won't turn my back on Weiß, Nagi." Nagi's eyes narrowed and his grip on Omi increased.

"You can keep in touch with them if it means so much to you, Omi," he said, but his tone didn't match his words.

"We might be ordered to come after you again, Nagi," Omi said carefully. "If an order comes down for us to kill you…to kill…Schwarz…I'll have to."

"It wouldn't be me," Nagi said earnestly. "Not anymore. We were going to denounce Weiß and Schwarz, and move away. I'm going to leave all of that behind, Omi. I'll do it…I'll do it for us."

"Nagi…" Nagi shook his head to quiet him.

"I…I was waiting for you to come around, but you never did. You never contacted me like you said you would. I began to miss you so badly. Those days you stayed with us, Omi, were the greatest days of my life."

"Aya said you guys forced me to cook for you and do other things beyond my will…" Omi said. Nagi managed a short smile, and he shook his head again.

"I thought you liked cooking. You are very good at it."

"I'm…just really confused about a lot of things," Omi said. "How did you guys wind up with me? Did you pull me up from the water…?"

"We were all split up," Nagi said, letting Omi go very slowly. "I…found my way back to our headquarters and then Crawford showed up. We were there for about a week just me and him. We didn't talk to each other much or anything. Then…Schuldig came and he told us he had a little present."

"Oh? What was it?" Nagi reached up and poked Omi in the forehead with his pointer finger.

"You," he said. Omi's eyes flickered. "So…I don't know what really happened. But…he made us share my room and we talked a lot, you and I."

"I remember that…" Omi said. He rubbed his upper arm, his eyes on the floor. "I remember that I did really like you…" Nagi's eyes narrowed.

"You're in love with me," he said. "You told me that you loved me. Just come with me and I'll make sure that you remember."

"Whether I remember or not, Nagi, we can't be together if I'm to remain a member of Weiß. I made a promise to Aya and the others that I would be there for them."

"You promised me first, Omi!" Nagi spat and Omi backed up. It was very unfamiliar for him to see Nagi lose his composure this way. Omi hated the fact that he was upsetting Nagi so much, especially considering how far he would go to appease Omi. However, it was now a one-sided love that Omi could never return and Nagi needed to understand that. Omi shrank away from him, pitying him with his expression.

"Don't yell…" he said gently.

"You told me…you loved me and that you would come away with me, Omi…" Nagi was beginning to look defeated. Omi leaned against the closest wall and shook his head slightly. "So you won't? You won't come with me?"

"I can't, Nagi."

"You promised me first…"

"I'm dedicated to Weiß," Omi said. "I wasn't…even completely aware of myself when I was living with you… I was under Schuldig's control. I can't…take responsibility for what I did when I was there, Nagi. I have…I have to—" Quickly, Nagi took Omi by the arm and dragged him into the nearest stall. He closed and locked it, knocking Omi's hands away when he tried to stop him. Omi protested, but Nagi clamped his hand over Omi's mouth hard enough that his head slammed into the stall wall.

The bathroom door opened. Omi heard quiet footsteps, and then nothing. There was a ruffle of clothes and then Ken's voice. Omi tried to push away from Nagi, but Nagi clamped his fingers painfully along his jaw. Omi realized it would be easy for him to kill him as they were positioned. His fear only heightened as he heard Nagi responding to Ken's call in a voice eerily similar to his own.

Outside the Stalls

"Omi?"

"Oh, gomen, Ken," Omi said from the first stall. "I'll be out in just a minute…"

"Okay," Ken said. "Aya's with the puppy now. He's getting his shots and tags and everything."

"Great!" Ken caught his reflection in the mirror and walked over to it to check himself out.

"It's going to be so cool having a dog around the place," he said. "I can't wait."

"Neither can I, Ken. Can you tell Aya that I'll be just a minute? I'll meet you guys upstairs, okay?"

"Sure thing, Omi." Ken left the bathroom and took the elevator back up to the small clinic where Aya was waiting. Arms folded and looking curious, Aya was standing next to one of the tables watching the selected puppy calmly sit through his routine check up. Aya turned to Ken as he saw him approaching.

"How's Omi?" he asked.

"Oh, he's fine," Ken said. "He said he'll be just a minute." Aya nodded, and then tilted his head.

"You should have stayed with him. He won't know where to find us."

"Well, he said he'd meet us up here."

"Up where?"

"Upstairs." Aya stiffened.

"How can he meet us in a place he isn't aware of?"

"What…do you mean?" Ken asked.

"This is…all of our first times here… The location of the clinic is only known to purchasers. The doctor just told me herself."

"Well, Omi could have asked," Ken said, shrugging. "But it's odd… I thought Omi would be mad at me."

"Omi mad?" Aya asked.

"Well not mad mad… Just upset."

"Why?"

"He asked me not to tell you guys which puppy he wanted. He wanted to surprise you guys and I completely forgot. I thought he would get mad that I told you guys, but he didn't realize it, I guess. You know…being in the bathroom and all." Aya's brain looked like it was working overtime. Ken stepped closer to him, watching the doctor give the puppy a shot, hoping that Aya would turn his attention to it as well. Aya started to turn back to the table, but then he stopped.

"Did you see him, Ken?"

"Who…Omi?" Aya didn't answer. Ken shook his head slightly, the foreboding feeling that he'd done something terribly wrong starting to eat away at him. "No…but I talked to him. He was in the first stall in the bathroom."

"Still?" Aya asked. "Did he tell you…he wasn't feeling well…to still be in the bathroom this long?" Ken shook his head.

"But I talked to him and he sounded fine, Aya."

"There was no indication of…?" Aya's voice trailed off slowly. Ken swallowed hard as Aya's eyes turned steely. Without another word Aya took off from the clinic.

"Aya!" Ken called after him, but he was already out of sight.

Inside the First Stall

Nagi unclamped his hand from Omi's mouth and Omi quickly pushed away from him. He unlocked the stall and hurried out of it. He felt something pull back on his foot and he toppled onto the floor. He held his hands out to break his fall, but he still hit his jaw on the ground. Nagi kneeled next to him quickly and turned him over.

"Don't be so clumsy," he said. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"Why did you do that?" Omi asked, scooting away from him. "Why did you imitate me…if I can really trust you?"

"Whether you can or can't won't change the fact that you already don't Omi," Nagi said. "I can't have them know that I was here. They're the ones that make you distrust me so much, aren't they?"

"It's your own actions. You keep hurting me. You…you tripped me."

"You tripped over your own two feet in haste," Nagi said angrily. Omi narrowed his eyes.

"Sure I did," he said. He helped himself to his feet and stepped away from Nagi. "Look…right now…I just want to go be with my friends and get my puppy, Nagi."

"I can give you time," Nagi said, standing also. "I'm not so inconsiderate that…I wouldn't give you time."

"I'm not asking for time," Omi said. "I'm asking for you to—" The door to the bathroom burst open and Aya appeared around the protruding wall. Startled, Omi looked to Nagi. Nagi was gone.

"Omi!" Aya hurried over to him and grasped him by the shoulders. "Who were you talking to?"

"What?" Omi asked. "Uh…"

"Was it Schuldig again?" Aya asked. Omi shook his head.

"Aya, what's wrong?" he asked. "Everything's okay, right?"

"I thought I heard you talking just now, Omi…" Aya said, calming down.

"I was…" Omi said, looking sheepish.

"But there was no one here…?" Aya asked.

"I was just thinking aloud…" Omi said. "About the past…"

"And no one gave you any trouble…?" Aya asked. Omi grabbed Aya's wrists gently.

"It's okay. I told you I'll tell you if I feel like I need help, right."

"You couldn't if you were under his control," Aya said. Omi let him go and hugged him.

"It's fine, Aya. Please don't worry." Omi loosened his grip and looked up at Aya. "So you've seen the puppy, right? Isn't he just darling, Aya?" Aya's eyes softened.

"He's…a good pick Omi." Omi nodded once.

"He's beautiful. Will you help me name him?"

"Sure." Omi took Aya by the wrist and led him from the bathroom. Then Aya walked him to the elevator.

"Omi?"

"Yes, Aya?"

"How did you know that…we were upstairs?"

"What…do you mean?"

"You told Ken…that you would meet us upstairs, but how did you know that we were there?" Omi smiled at him, quickly thinking up a lie.

"Ken mentioned it," he said. "He said you were upstairs with the puppy, so I figured I could find you guys there when I was done." Aya seemed to understand. He nodded and stepped onto the elevator after Omi.

Later, as Omi, Ken and the puppy sat in the car waiting on Aya and Yohji, Ken turned to Omi eagerly.

"Is Aya mad at me?" he asked. "He wouldn't talk to me at all when you guys got upstairs."

"No, I don't think he's mad, Ken. I think he was nervous."

"About…what?" Omi pointed out the car window as Aya emerged from the pet store with Yohji in tow. In the cart Yohji pushed was a medium sized wire cage and a fish tank, among other things.

"They…they got pets?" Ken asked, leaning over Omi to see them better. Omi chuckled.

"I know… I was surprised, too, when Aya asked to see one of the rabbits. But I think it's great," Omi said. "I'm really happy for them." Ken pouted and slumped.

"Everybody got a new companion but me…" he said. Omi smiled and tousled his hair.

"We'll come back, Ken," Omi said. "We'll come back when your season is over and we'll get a pet for you, too." Ken rubbed his chin, nodding.

"Yeah," he said. "Yeah…we'll do that."

The chapters will come faster the next two weeks because the end of school is nearing and I won't have immediate access to the internet to post for you guys... So... I might have to stop after the 14th until around Christmas or the New Year. It depends on when I know I can use someone's computer to post. No matter what, I won't leave like I did the last time! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed :smooch: Luv ya!

Please review,

kaj