Author's Note-- This chapter gives a little more insight into the real Derek's mind. Many of you are feeling sympathetic to Derek's situation which is understandable. As long as you aren't sympathetic to the real perpetrator. To those of you who have read "Only You", and read the author's notes you know that I am not as confident writing in Derek's POV so I would really appreciate some constructive criticism in this matter for this chapter and future chapters. Enjoy!

Disclaimer-- I wonder what would happen if I had been the creator the whole time. What direction would the show have taken? Would Derek and Casey have wild passionate smex at the moment? I own nothing. -Cries for lack of Dasey smex-.

Casey was staring at her computer screen thinking for the past half-hour. No plan that worked could come to her mind, and she finally decided to start typing it out. Like cataloging her thoughts in hopes that something would spark if she made the thoughts visible.

"Dear Journal,

Plan 1A: Avoid as much as possible. Play happy till you are over it…then be happy.

Scratch that. How do I get happy journal? I can't stay sad over this forever. It did just happen though. And I feel like it's just always been this way. It was never any other way. Which really isn't true but it feels like it's all I know. And it's all I can think about.

Plan 2A: Confront the perpetrator. Deal it out with him. Take a weapon for protection. Knives are weak, and I can't back down.

Scratch that too. I'm too afraid. He looked so serious about cutting me with that knife. And he didn't have a problem doing what he did. This is-"

A knock was placed lightly on her door. She turned off the monitor and answered it.

"Edwin? What is it?" Edwin turned to the left and snapped his fingers and Derek came to stand next to him. His face was gentle and not the dark face she had seen earlier that day.

"Derek said that he needs to talk to you but was-" Derek covered Edwin's mouth and looked down at him. Edwin peered jovially at Derek.

"I just said to get her to open the door." Derek said, and then smiled at Casey. "Thank you Edwin." He pushed Edwin away and Casey started to close the door but Derek put his foot in the way.

"I have nothing to say to you." Casey said in a harsh whisper. He looked down at his feet.

"Please, just hear me out." He gently moved pass Casey and closed the door. Derek didn't reach down to lock it. Casey looked at his hands. No CD to drown out their voices.

Derek set himself on her bed and held his hands together against his head in contemplation. Casey looked down at him. He seemed to be in an emotional weaker state. I need to say something to him. Don't freeze out Casey. Say something. Say something before you see the true aggressive jerk he really is.

"What you did was wrong Derek…" Her voice barely squeezed out. It didn't make her feel better, but at least she had said something.

"I know. I don't know what came over me." His voice was almost girlish. Casey furrowed her eyebrows.

"Just because you don't know what came over you…doesn't mean I'll forgive you."

"I'm not asking for forgiveness. It won't matter because it won't be erased. What I need you to know is that it might happen again. And I know how to make sure it doesn't." Casey rolled her eyes and started to turn to her door. How dare he come to threaten me again. Like being nice will hide him from himself. Derek jumped up and gently turned her back around. "You need to listen to me."

What am I thinking? Casey won't listen to me. And I can't tell her that it wasn't Derek. It was that bastard Damien. Call me a little bitch will you? I'll show you a little bitch.

"I don't need to listen you. You didn't need to listen to me when I yelled out," Casey's voice was rising, "No! Don't do this! Stop!" She pushed him down onto her bed. "Why the hell should I listen to a damn word you have to say! And here you are threatening me again! What is the condition for it to never happen again? Hmm?" Casey got closer, her face heating with anger. Brooke leaned back in a mild fear. "Not to lie? Not to break the things you give to me out of the goodness of your soul?" Casey laughed loudly. "What goodness? What soul?"

Brooke stood up and touched Casey's shoulder and looked deeply into her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Casey brushed his hand away and slapped him hard across the face. Derek's fist clenched and the sweet face was gone. It wasn't dark either. It looked like it used to before all of this happened. I sware, if Derek lays a hand on me I will scream. "What was that for?"

"Get out Derek." Derek smirked at her.

"Gladly." He nudged her shoulder lightly and left her room. Casey shook her head and sat back at her computer. She didn't turn the screen on though.

Derek walked into his room and Edwin was sitting on his bed.

"What are you doing in my room?" He asked, annoyed.

"Umm…You told me to wait here Derek." Derek shook off the confusion, not wanting to think about the black-outs he had been having.

"Well, get out. I don't need you anymore. Task accomplished." Edwin nodded his head, but looked a little worried.

"So you told her the truth?" Derek furrowed his eyebrows.

"What? What truth?" Edwin stood and walked forward a little.

"About you know…your feelings. The ones you've been having lately." Derek crossed his arms.

"About? Feelings for what?" Edwin stared at his brother. His face was contorted in a disconcerting way.

"The ones you've been feeling for Casey." Derek's eyes got wider and his mouth hung open slightly.

"When did I say that? How did you know that?" He leaned back and shut his door so no one could hear.

"About ten minutes ago when you told me. I asked why you had Casey's bra in your room and you said that you wanted a piece of the woman you loved in your room." Derek's breathing got shallow and his mind raced with questions as to what he had been doing everytime his world turned black.

"L-love? Whoa Edwin. No-no-no. Love is not in my dictionary. Nope." He was shaking his head. His eyes landed on the white bra on his bed. Did I take that while I was blacked out? Why would I tell him about my feelings for Casey? I swore that was going to between me and myself. I swore I would never fall in love and that if I had no one would know. No...This is not happening...

Casey finally brought herself to turn on the computer screen. Slapping Derek gave her some form of relief but it wouldn't be enough for a long time.